Almost A Wrap

 My trip to Detroit thankfully was uneventful.   I was Abe's Secret Santa.   He made it easy for me by requesting several baseball caps.   He's a cap person.    Trina wound up being my Secret Santa and she got me a three month subscription to Universal Yums.   They send out a monthly box with treats from a different country.   Dom discovered the company a few years back and we enjoyed a box or two from various countries.   The box actually arrived at my home on the 24th (guess it was good that I stayed home a day) and I decided to take it with me.   She also ordered Mariah Carey's 2020 autobiography that I had on my wish list.  I started reading a bit about Mariah's early life.   She's had it rough but she managed to use adversity to eventually make a name for herself.

Tasha brought over dinner for our Christmas meal that as always was delicious.   We spent the evening watching trashy, badly acted Tubi movies.   

Eugene and I hung out for a bit grabbing lunch at Sweetgreen restaurant, an organic outfit that serves environmentally sustainable meals.   After lunch we went shopping at Nordstrom's (well I did...LOL).  I picked up a new jacket for me and some shirts for Dom.

I decided to drive back home on Saturday after stopping by the cemetery to see Mama and Papa.   Trina, Tasha, and I shipped in to get a bed of flowers for their tombstone and also a wreath for our "Grandma" and hubby as well as "Grandma's Dad" who we knew as "Uncle".  I tried to look for "Uncle" where I thought he would be but had no luck finding him.

My Sunday was spent doing laundry in the morning and then a quick trip to Meijer's in the afternoon and a side trip to Chipolte's for our dinner.

I managed to irritate my nose this morning using the CPAP machine.   I wound up going to the office even though I wished I could've stayed home.  I found myself blowing my nose and sneezing all day.  Fun times.

My New Year's Eve is going to be a quiet one.  Dom and I will keep a low profile enjoying some steak and shrimp (well I will enjoy that).   The plan is to ring in the New Year watching one of the countdowns and praying the crazy folks don't shoot bullets at our house.

It's so hard to believe 2024 is coming to an end.   I will say that I am glad that I continued to blog about various events that have happened throughout the year.   With this post I'll have made 50 entries which is 10 more than I made in 2023.   The big highlight for me workwise was getting my promotion, which was my first promotion at a job since 2006.   Work has been nutty as usual but I'm pushing my way through it best way I know how.    I was happy that Dom and I managed to take a couple trips this year, one related to my work and the other related to his hobby.   It is nice that we were able to travel together and try to enjoy life.

For 2025 I do hope I continue to work towards paying off our mortgage.   At the same time I need to start thinking about getting another car.   I hate the thought of a car note (it's been nice not having one for a couple years) but I know Dom has a hard time getting into my Passat.   I'm thinking about the mini-SUV's like the Subaru Forester or the Mazda CX-5.    There's a few other crossover SUV's that I'm looking at as well.    I'm going to have to try to juggle that with getting the mortgage paid off.   I hate to replace one bill with another but I know it's about time to think about it.   I've been blessed that my Passat has been hanging in there since March 2014.    Cars are so expensive these days as well.   We shall see.

Perhaps my stock Blackberry may help me in achieving one or both of the financial goals.   They've had some good news in recent weeks that seems to have helped the stock recover some.    Their product QNX may finally be ready to start making the stock profitable again in 2025.    They plan on featuring QNX heavily at the upcoming Las Vegas held Consumer Electronic Show on January 7, 2025.   I'm very hopeful that things will be looking up there.

Here's to a happy, healthy 2025 for us even with the uncertainty of America's future.   

The Holiday Shuffle

 I was "roped" into driving to see Dom's Mom and family this past weekend.   I hoped Dom would drive but his minivan currently is in need of a thermostat replacement and he didn't want to risk the 4 hour round trip drive.   To be honest Dom scares me when he drives especially when he starts getting aggressive.  I do know it's in defense of the crazy drivers out there but he is constantly yelling and swinging his hands in frustration which gets me riled up.   I really wasn't feeling driving but I find it less stressful when I drive.    

On the flip side he freaks when I drive because he feels like I don't react quickly enough to cars breaking.   I'm aware of the other cars and do react in time but in his mind I cut it close.    What it comes down to is that neither of us are in control when the other person is driving and that is scary.   As much as I didn't relish driving since I'll be more driving in the near future, I felt it would be better if I did the driving.   

I caught a really bad cold last Wednesday as well.   Part of the issue could be that I'm not getting enough sleep as Dom reminded me.  I have been commuting to the Chicago office three days a week and typically I force myself to get up by 4am (alarm goes off at 3:50 am) and then I'm out the door before 6am so I can catch the Southshore train to get to downtown before 7:30am and in the office before 8am.   I then make every effort to leave the office by 3:30pm so I can catch the 4:05pm Southshore train that manages to get me home around 5pm.   I need to go to bed before 10pm but typically I go to bed or fall asleep watching TV after 11pm only to have to repeat the cycle (though for the days I work home I get to sleep an extra 2 hours if my bladder doesn't wake me up around 4 to pee...LOL).

My schedule has been rough on my body and of course I'm in my 50's.   That and the flip flopping weather has wreaked havoc on me and most likely led to my cold.

So I was recovering from my latest cold and didn't want to spread anything to his Mom who's currently battling cancer.   I was starting to feel better last Saturday when we originally was planning to visit but decided to just do a half day trip on Sunday.   I also decided to wear a mask while visiting.

Dom's sister Marie and her family including all the grandkids and great-grandkids were already at Dom Mom's house when we arrived.   For the most part the visit when well though the addition of the great-grandkids was taxing on Dom's Mom.   The great-grandkids were 7, 4, and 2.   For the most part they were behaved but they are a lot of energy.

Marie's husband and daughter bought back KFC for a late lunch.   After the family did some quick gift exchanges, their brood took off for another house and a "pizza" party leaving Dom and I to be alone with his Mom and Lexie (Dom's younger sister Marina's daughter - R.I.P.).  Marina's other daughter, Ava and her partner Ronnie were at work.   They both work retail at a small Mom and Pop store so have to work all kinds of hours.   I don't miss my retail-like days at Amazon.   At least I didn't have to deal with customers...LOL.

Dom's Mom calmed down a lot once the great-grandkids left.  She was stressing seeing them moving and hoping about.   Basically it was too much stimuli for her to handle.   They were well behaved for the most part but kids are kids.   It was much quieter once Marie's family left.

We stayed for another 2 hours before Dom and I headed home.   Before doing so we made a dinner stop at Chili's where we both ordered various combo meals that were filling.   I wanted to get a molten lava cake so ordered that to go.

So now I am prepping myself for the longer drive to Detroit.   I was originally planning on going today (12/24) but decided last night that I needed today to relax.   I worked from home yesterday but the new process the company is pushing on us in handling customer issues has been stressful.    In a nutshell they are turning my role (Tier 2) into a Tier 1 role.

As a Tier 2 engineer, cases that I received are either ones created previously by the customer or it was after they "chatted" with a Tier 1 engineer to get the additional details.   Tier 1 engineers typically "chats" live with the customer initially to get details of issues which if the Tier 1 is not able to resolve, gets a case created that gets passed to the Tier 2 engineer (me).    Now they are wanting us to "chat" with the customers as well in the hopes of getting issues resolved faster.   If I were a Tier 1 engineer, I admit I would be worried about my role.   Hell even as a Tier 2 I'm concerned.

As I mentioned previously, they have closed an office which resulted in a number of engineer roles being removed.   Plus the company has no plans to hire for additional engineers in 2025.   Again that's why I am trying so hard to focus on cutting costs in my home.   Then who knows how truly fucked things will get once Trump and his cronies get into office less than a month from now.   That's all the more reason to get my personal house (which includes Dom) in order.

So getting back to work, I just needed a day today to relax and recover before venturing out again to Detroit.   I now am planning to go on Christmas Day.   Thankfully the weather looks like it'll cooperate for the most part, including the typically risky weather locations of New Buffalo and Kalamazoo that I pass through.

I plan on staying till either Saturday or Sunday.   It'll likely be Saturday as I'll want to have Sunday to relax and prepare for my work reality next week.  I also will be working from Detroit on Friday the 27th.   I'm praying that it won't be too busy.   We shall see.   

The Fall Of The River

 I spent last weekend in Fall River, MA visiting my friend Eugene.   Eugene's gone through some life changes since I was last in the area.   He's become a tenured professor at his university sometime in 2021.   Also after living in a number of different apartments, he finally became a homeowner last year.   So I got to see his new place.   He's in a townhome and at one point he had a roommate.   His former roommate Demetri was a student of his whom he befriended once the semester ended.   At one point they even messed around with each other.   But now they've maintained a great friendship.   Demetri moved out earlier in the year and is living back home with his father while in a relationship with another beau.

Eugene filled me in on the latest guy that's tickled his fancy.   It's a guy that works at his local post office that he recently befriended.   Apparently he's been working there a number of years and they've been playing a game of cat and mouse for years.   Things came to a head when the postal guy and he chatted extensively in the main hallway.   I got to meet him while in town since Eugene wanted a chance to chat with him again.   Only thing his he had no reason to be there so he had me buy a book of stamps.   Luckily it just so happen that he was free so I got to briefly chat with him in person.   He kind of reminded me of actor Terrell Tifford.   I forgot to look to see if he had a wedding ring.   But hopefully Eugene figures something out there.

So Eugene finds himself almost in the same situation that I was in when I lived in my old townhome.  He's the only black person in the building.   He's already been a rebel as well.   The association requires each resident to give a copy of their key but he refuses to do so.   He's also had some interesting encounters with some of the neighbors.   I don't miss being in that situation.   Interestingly enough there's a large Portuguese population that lives in Fall River.   He also does not live too far from Providence, Rhode Island, which we went to check out the Eagle leather bar. 

I also got to meet Demetri and his partner Aiden at Legal Sea Foods in Boston.   I've been to Legal Sea Foods once before way back in 2004 when I was in Providence, RI for a co-worker/friend wedding.   So that was actually over 20 years ago.   How time flies.

Demetri was definitely a yummy guy and I laughed how when Eugene went to the bathroom how Demetri and I quickly agreed on Eugene's flaws.   It was the same ones when I talked to his other friend privately.    Anyone who knows him has to take it or leave it when it comes to Eugene.   Basically Eugene always thinks he's right about every situation and thinks he single-handedly turns things around in every situation.   He can be a bit of a know-it-all at times too.   But he does have mostly pure intentions.

Demetri's partner Aiden seems like a cool guy too.  Interestingly enough Aiden also has a Salesforce connection so he knew what I was talking about when I mentioned the product.

Surprisingly Eugene didn't push too many of my buttons this weekend.   Usually he does something that he knows will set me off.    But this trip wound up being a nice one.   We may see each other next week while in Detroit.   This New Year's Eve he'll be in CA instead so I won't get to hang with him in Chicago even though I hadn't in a couple years due to various life circumstances.

Making The Cut

 A few years ago I decided to add Dom as an authorized user of one of my credit cards.   I originally did so because there was a conference in Indianapolis that he wanted to go to for his hobby but since he would arrive a couple days before I did, he needed to book the hotel room in his name.    

Dom has no credit card of his own and isn't the greatest manager of finances.   I wasn't sure adding him as an authorized user was such a great idea.    But I couldn't think of anything else I could do for him to be able to check-in to the hotel since I wasn't arriving till later.   I wasn't able to go with him since he was driving to Indy a few days before and I was working on those days.   The added benefit would be that assuming the card was kept current, it would help improve Dom's credit score.

So that's when I decided to add him as an authorized user.   He was able to check-in for the hotel since the charge was in his name.   All was right in the world.   Or was it?

A few months after that conference when looking at my credit card's bill, I noticed that he would make additional purchases with the card on other doll stuff which would total in excess sometimes of over $500.   He would never have the money to pay for these purchases so I would have to pay for them.

He would keep telling me, "please get after me to pay for this stuff".   But instead of budgeting for a plan to pay on things, his next paycheck would be spent on buying other doll items.   

When he would make these additional purchases, he would never bother to discuss them with me.   I would just get the surprise reveal of the purchase when checking my statement.

These surprises would keep showing up periodically throughout the years.   He would once in a blue moon give me $100 here or $200 there which was all he could afford because he would spend the rest on other doll items he had to have.   He would of course periodically buy groceries with his money as well but the majority of it was spent on his hobby.

I would get very pissed when seeing the bill but eventually I would wind up paying it.   It's either that or ruin my credit as well.   But I've finally realized that my covering the expense was continuing to enable him to make these purchases.   He has no financial sense at all to say hey maybe I should pay for the stuff I purchased already instead of buying more stuff.   

The beginning of the last straw came last month when I saw a $1700 purchase just before Thanksgiving for more stupid dolls from an enabler that he constantly complains about yet still does business with.   This was on top of a $400 charge he made due to an issue with his car (which was needed of course) but couldn't have happened at a worse time.

He again said keep after him to give me money to pay for the bill since he didn't want me having to purchase his items.   The joke was on me though since I have been paying for his items for years.   I myself reached the $3000 limit on my own purchases that I've made with separate cards.   I have been making every effort to pay off my cards every month especially after finally paying off all my debt.  But I wasn't able to pay it all off and cover my cards.   So I wound up paying half of that card and telling myself I would pay the rest of it this month assuming no more purchases.   This particular card that I made him authorized user is one that I do not use and only have a $10 recurring charge for a stupid membership to a gay site that I needed to cancel yesterday...LOL.

But alas the last straw came.   There were two more purchases from him on more doll stuff costing $600 more dollars.   I found this out while in Boston visiting Eugene and deciding to check on my statements.  Like all the other purchases before, he chose not to discuss it with me.  I was upset but had to keep my feelings in check as I did not want Eugene to know.   I've discussed Dom's lack of financial control before and didn't feel like rehashing as Eugene would give tough love of what I needed to do.

But I knew what I had to do.   The only way to try to curtail the spending would be to remove him as an authorized user.   This would effectively make his card null and void.   I did the deed but I do not plan on telling him that I did.   He will tell me himself when he tries to use it once more.

I hate doing this but it's for his own good.   His spending on his hobby has gotten out of control.   I have to be responsible for all the other household bills.   The only other bills he pays for is occasional groceries.   He doesn't even pay his hospital bills and I haven't either.   

He keeps talking about selling his dolls to try to get money but he never does.   Ironically I recently found out my part-time lover Anthony is also a lover of dolls.    He visited our house in early November and was in awe with the wall to floor dolls that Dom has spread in every room in the house except the kitchen and bathroom.   He said if Dom was ever interested in selling some, he'd be game.   So I may have to introduce them so he'll have someone he can sell stuff too.   I admit this revelation from Anthony annoyed then amused me.    Oh and he's also a school teacher though he's retired.

I sure do have a type when it comes to guys...LOL.

Funky, Funky CGMC

 Last Friday Dom and I took the train to downtown Chicago and continued our annual tradition of seeing the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus perform their Christmas show at Harris Theatre.   It was a much colder night than last year so I bundled up.   Dom decided to don a Santa cap and since he has a long white beard already, he was ready to play Santa.    Of course he got the attention of several different folks.   The most touching one was from a lady who approached him during intermission.   She mentioned that her father used to play Santa Claus and seeing Dom bought back memories.    They were enjoying a conversation before she requested taking a selfie with him.   Then there was a young lady with a group of ladies that engaged Dom while we were waiting for the train home.   She seemed a bit "white girl tipsy" but was otherwise nice.   Then there was a little boy on the train that of course noticed Dom and asked for gifts.  The scariest encounter was a random man who sat near Dom and I while we were killing time at the Metra waiting area before going to the theatre.   He seemed to be wanting to ask for money and kept throwing hypothetical questions at Dom which Dom cleverly answered.    He was creepy though but thankfully we were able to get away unscathed.

Dom does seem to have a knack of attracting perfect strangers to chat with him.   I've witnessed it countless times when we hang out together.   Part of it is some of the clothes he wears like his numerous "math" shirts and of course with his white beard, he's Santa all year long.   I find myself staying in the background while folks engage him and seemingly not notice me...LOL.   But it's all good.

In other news if all goes to plan, I will be traveling out to Boston in a few days to hang out with Eugene.   The original plan was to see the movie Joker: Folie a Deux.   But Dom was telling me that the movie hasn't done that well.   The report I've seen confirms that they barely made back their initial investment.    I originally was supposed to fly out to see it on November 6th but Eugene had a last minute conflict that forced me to reschedule.   So it may not be playing anywhere in Boston when I arrive.   But if not I'm sure it'll be streaming somewhere either on Hulu or Peacock.

It'll be good to hang out with Eugene even though I'm sure he'll do something to drive me bonkers.   That seems to be his lot in life.    That's why it's good we'll only see each other for a few days.   I do hope I get to meet his handsome roommate though.   We shall see.