Raging Roadsters

 What is it when some people get inside their cars that turns them into complete lunatics?   They drive too slow, too fast, weave in and out of traffic, and worse of all tailgate.  It gets to the point that it's scary these days to even go for a leisurely drive which is never truly leisurely.   Every trip leaves the potential for running into one (but usually more) of these lunatics.   I breathe a sigh of relief every time I make it safely to a destination.   When Dom worked at the school, he made it a point to email me to let me know that he made it safely.   I in turn do the same when I make it to my job downtown safely.

I have so many examples of raging roadsters that I ran into.   My most recent example was a few days ago.   I was coming home from work a little earlier Thursday afternoon to try and beat some inclement weather that was forecasted .   Thankfully 95% of my trip is via train (if I'm not traveling to Indianapolis which thankfully I haven't done in six months or so).   But I do drive to the train station.  To get out of the station, one of the exits I go to I have to make a left.    There is no traffic light at the exit and there's no stop signs for the main road.    There's only one lane to enter and exit so if you're making a left and someone behind you is making a right, the person behind you is stuck until the person in front can safely make a left.    It take forever (probably 5 minutes in actual time) to make that left as by the time traffic clears on one side, there's traffic on the other side.   Then it repeats until you have to either take a crazy risk and speed ahead of upcoming traffic or get lucky and catch a rare break where traffic isn't appearing on either side.

Knowing this I try to wait until everyone in the parking lot leaves before me so I don't have anyone behind me.   This past Thursday one of the people fooled me into thinking they were staying behind much longer but as I was heading towards the exit, they were backing up.   So they wound up behind me.   

It was raining currently so I didn't want to squeal out as I was afraid of hydroplaning and losing control of my car.    Unfortunately traffic was coming from both directions and there were times when one side was clear and the other would get traffic.   After two minutes I decided to step out on the left side of the road when I saw that traffic was gone on that side.   There were multiple cars still coming from the right side so I couldn't turn.

A minute later there was a car speeding on the left side coming towards me.   I heard him honking and the driver was not slowing down.   There was a final car on the right side that barely got past me and I was finally able to make the left just as the speed demon crossed my lane.    That person wasn't planning on stopping and I could've been side swiped.   Even if he did, with the wet roads it would've been harder to stop.   I definitely thanked my lucky stars when I got home (two minutes later).    I look forward to the warmer weather when I can start walking to the train station again.   I just have to watch for the lunatics when trying to walk across the street...LOL.

Another example that comes to mind is three Saturdays back when Dom and I drove to Four Winds casino in New Buffalo, MI.   There's a point in the trip when the two lane road that we're on merges with another major road coming from the East.    We're on the left hand side and the traffic we merge into is on the right.    There's a stop sign where we have to stop and take turns crossing for the other traffic that merges West for the second road.   

So I was crossing over and merging into the road along with another car that was on the right lane.    We both are in two lanes on the merged road.   An idiot coming from the second road going East is driving super fast and is quickly tailgating me.   I can't move over safely since the other car is on the second lane.   The idiot moves into the other lane behind the other car now tailgating that person.    There is a car a half block in front of me that has his turn signal making a left.   I'm guessing idiot driver was anticipating I would have to stop and they can merrily zip into the left lane once they're past the turning car.   But the turning car was able to turn before I got there.    

So I kept driving and idiot driver was still tailgating the other person.   I managed to get a good distance from both cars.   I then saw the idiot driver get in my lane.   Knowing that he was going to zig zag, I thought I'd save him the trouble and safely move to the right lane.

So then he speeds along but not without gesturing the finger to me and shouting incoherently before speeding along.  I immediately honked my horn to let him and everyone else know what an idiot he was as he continued speeding and weaving around other cars.   I guess he was in a hurry to get his weed at one of the over 30 weed dispensaries in New Buffalo.

That's just two examples of the many encounters I've experienced while driving on the road and Dom of course has had his own share, some while I was a passenger as well.

It truly is scary driving on the roads these days.   There are so many stories of road rage incidents where people end up fighting or getting shot.    I thank goodness that it hasn't gotten to that point in my encounters (knock on wood).    But it's just one more thing that we have to deal with in this life.

Unhealthy Health Care

One of the things that worries me every so often is health.   It's something that isn't promised and can easily change for the worse.   I only look at Dom who I remember when we first dated back in 2014 had so much energy.    He used to walk so fast and over the last few years his energy has dipped and he now needs a cane to walk and was diagnosed with degenerative bone loss.

I think of my parents who both were taking blood pressure meds for many years.   My Dad had many health scares over the years including prostate cancer and diverticulitis.   My Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which affected her mental state and sadly an aggressive form of cancer took my Mom's life.

The cost of health care is a nightmare in the U.S. and is one part of the equation that you truly can't prepare for.   You can save all the money in the world but if your health goes south, it can easily wipe you out financially.

It's such a racket.  Health insurance is a necessary evil but it amazes me how much the hospital charges the insurance companies.    A bill of $10000 may be reduced to $2000 due to insurance reduction.   But the various charges the hospital charges are outrageous.   $3000 for a couple hours in a room, hundreds of dollars in nickel and diming items like bacterial soap and different meds given. And whatever they can't get from insurance, they try to get from us the consumers.

But if you don't have insurance it's even worse.   When I had my bout of kidney stones, I didn't have any insurance at the time because I was working part-time at Amazon while skilling up for a job upgrade and struggling to find a higher paying job.  I couldn't get on Dom's insurance because we weren't married at the time and while there is an option for domesticated partners, Dom was not out at work.

When I was at the ER I had to explain (while I was in pain mind you) that I did not have any insurance.  I remember being told I made "too much" at my minimum wage job to qualify for any assistance.   I was too rich but not poor enough in the government's eyes.

It took two to three months before I got billed which wound up being close to $5000 which was reduced from $8000 (I guess cause I didn't have insurance).   This was all for 6 hours at the ER.

I was blessed by that time with a new better paying job so I wound up putting myself on a payment plan paying around $400 a month until I paid off the big bill.    And that didn't count the separate nickel and diming bills I got from the specialists directly which were between $50 - $200.

In contrast it was illuminating hearing about a nomad couple's experience in Malaysia.  In their video they mentioned how the wife had to have major surgery.   Mind you she went to the hospital because she was experiencing pain and was trying to get a diagnosis.   To her surprise the doctor said she would need to have surgery right away.  Everything happened within the same day.

She was in the hospital for a few days and they were bracing themselves for the bill.   But to their surprise it wound up being some low amount (I believe it was several hundred dollars) and they wound up paying it out of pocket because they had a high deductible that wasn't met.

It seemed like the quality of healthcare was much better in Malaysia for a fraction of the cost.   They mentioned there are insurance companies that provide coverage for nomad travelers, which are folks that move from place to place without a permanent house.   The one they talked about is called Safety Wing, which specializes in providing insurance for those without a permanent home.

The couple featured in the video are nice folks who were able to early retire and apparently lived on cruise ships temporarily and now travel and live in various locations.   They were in the Middle East during the beginning of the war Orange caused and spoke about managing to get away from there.   There were many folks who couldn't get out because the airports were limiting flights because of the fighting.

But healthcare has been a sore spot in the United States for decades.  Former President Obama was the closest to try and fight it with the Affordable Care Act.   Unfortunately even that fell short as premiums were outrageously high at times and it seemed the government was penalizing folks if they didn't have insurance even if the cost to get it was so high.    I remember trying to look into it but giving up.

I really don't know what to do about healthcare.   I can't see Dom and I being nomads either.   First of all he has too many dolls that he would need to sell or give away.   Plus there is something to having a steady place that you can call home.   There's another Youtube nomad couple with a channel called Stepsof2Foreigners about two hot gay guys who fell in love with each other.   Their channel has been around since 2017 and follows their multi-year journey from first meeting each other in Brazil (I believe Adam was on vacation in Brazil and met Bernardo and they basically decided to make a go of it).  I watched their videos over the years and it was crazy the number of places they moved in and out of in that time.   They spent the majority of their time in the U.S., got married, and Bernardo finally getting his U.S. citizenship but both deciding to now relocate back to Brazil.   Given this current regime I can't say I blame them.   That's one good thing about not having a home, you have no real ties to stay in a particular place.   But I wonder what their healthcare situation is.   I don't remember if they discussed it particularly but I know they've had a few health issues they had to deal with.

Plus it was dizzying all the constant moving.   I will say that I love stability and the thought of having to move somewhere once every six months to a year (which they seemed to be doing for many years) is something that would stress me out.   As I said there is something positive knowing that you have a place you can go to that is yours and is a refuge from the crazy world we live in.

I guess I should count my blessings that I have some kind of insurance, as broken as the healthcare industry is.

Praying For Peace

I came across this video randomly in the Youtube rabbit hole about a black American man and his trip to Iran.   It's very timely given the current war that Orange and his regime has started.   From watching my various independent new sources, the attack on Iran is something that Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu has been wanting to do for decades.   Netanyahu has been seeking U.S. assistance from various presidents over the decades and apparently finally found his in through Orange.   The theory is that Netanyahu blackmailed Orange into attacking Iran due to having incriminating evidence on Orange's involvement with Jeffrey Epstein.    The war itself is another distraction from people talking about Epstein.

The video I found followed a random man as he explored Iran.   Just like the rest of the world, the Iranian people have their hopes and dreams.    They are just trying to make the most out of the life they are given.   It is sad to see this knowing all the destruction that is happening in Iran now.    As a result of the war, the immediate effects is the increase in price on gas.    There have also been retaliatory attacks on the U.S., including most likely the attack on a synagogue in West Bloomfield, MI. 

Dom made an interesting observation.   He noted that the media stopped talking about Orange's orchestrated attacks on Venezuela which no doubt were done to steal their oil.    Dom feels he wanted Venezuela's oil in preparation for Iranian oil potentially being blocked.   

There have been so many different attacks on people with this current regime of marginalized folks including black and brown people as well as those in the LGB and especially T community.    I pray for peace in the world and that somehow we can find our way back from this fascism.   But I don't know.  It may be too late for us.

But anyway the video touched me and I wanted to share.

On a lighter note, today is Pi day.   Dom and I are supposed to be running errands later today.   Maybe we can pick up a pie somewhere.

Strong Scents

 Anthony and I met up this past Sunday for another hook up session.   It was our first time meeting since last November.   The last couple times we met I noticed that he's not able to keep an erection.   He gets excited when his nips are aggressively sucked but once that stops, his erection dies.   He had me repeatedly suck them to get hard but it didn't get hard enough.   As a result he had difficulty screwing since I myself am tight down there (since I'm not regularly doing it).    The reality is that he's in his mid-60's so it makes sense that he isn't as spry as he used to be.   But we still enjoyed ourselves jacking off.

Anthony being the great host always offers me a chance to shower up afterwards.   His selection of soaps however is of the Axe body spray kind which has a strong scent.  He does have a bar of soap that looks like Irish Spring which Dom uses so I gravitated towards that.   

But Anthony heavily uses Axe which means he is reeking of the smell.    When I got home and Dom and I had dinner, he noticed the scent on me and was asking me what I washed up with.   He even asked if I was hugged up on someone which I denied.   I know I said that I need to tell Dom about Anthony but it's hard to just say it.   Even though Dom would understand (since it's been years since we had last had sex), I worry about hurting his feelings.

I did promise Anthony that I would plan something soon for Dom and he to meet.   Anthony now makes a point to ask me what dolls Dom has purchased.   I honestly can't keep up with all the different brands he has.   I figure it would be good for them to meet so they can talk doll shop.   But now I'm nervous that Dom will notice Anthony's scent and put two and two together.    

At the end of the day my heart is with Dom.  I love Dom and want to be with him.   I will say I myself am slowing down sexually and haven't been actively seeking it out.   Part of it though is dealing with the games guys play.   I've had to deal with that game playing for more than 25 years so that gets old.  So unless a guy tickles my fancy on the social sites, I rarely respond to anyone.  The only other guys I occasionally chat with are my usual suspects - Midas, Doug, and Mitch.    It's all nonsexual there with an occasional tease that leads nowhere.

Speaking of Mitch, he reaches an exciting milestone in a couple weeks.   After March 28th, he'll have less than 2 years left in his prison term.   So he's definitely excited about that.   By the time he is released he'll be over 65.    With the help of his daughter, he's found a new home that he'll be able to move into upon release.    It's actually a few miles from the Japanese grocery store that I used to frequent when I lived in Illinois so that's cool.   I look forward to seeing him again once he's released.

Dom Pop

 I just saw something on my Facebook feed that looks like a good gift idea for Dom's birthday (which isn't until June).    It's a popcorn maker from this company called PopSmith.  PopSmith says they are popcorn perfected.   They promise a one-of-a-kind popcorn experience that is easy to use and ready in under 5 minutes.

Dom loves making popcorn on the stove but I hate when he uses my stainless steel pot to make it in.   It stains the pan and makes it hard to clean the excess oil.    I may be a little petty about it.

When we were in Shipshewana about eighteen months back, we stopped at Yoder's Meat & Cheese where they were selling a Nordic Ware popcorn maker for about $14.   I was hoping Dom would use that to make his popcorn but he didn't like the popcorn because it didn't have any of the oily flavor that he got with cooking it in oil over the fire and it was dry.   When using the Nordic Ware, you don't need to add any extra oil to it.   I did try adding a tablespoon of butter to it but he still didn't care for it.

So back to the pan he went.    But I saw the one from PopSmith and it promises that the experience would be just like enjoying theatre popcorn.   The only thing that's giving me pause is the $200 price tag.   But I can see that Target has some stove-top popcorn makers between $40 - $80.   That may be the happy medium we need.    So I'm posting this so I can remember this as a possible gift idea for Dom this year.  Either that or maybe a new rice cooker.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

War - Why Can't We Be Friends?

INTRO
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
La, la, la, la, la, laa
La, la, la, la, la, la

CHORUS
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

VERSE1
I've seen you 'round for a long, long time
I remembered you when you drank my wine

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE2
I've seen you walking down in Chinatown
I called you, but I could not look around

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE3
I paid my money to the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time.

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE4
The color of your skin don't matter to me (Ow!)
As long as we can live in harmony

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE5
I'd kind of like to be the President (Oh yeah!)
So I can show you how your money's spent, hoo!

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE6
Sometimes, I don't speak right
But yet, I know what I'm talking about

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 7
I know you're working for the CIA
They wouldn't have you in the MAFI-A

REPEAT CHORUS X 3

In life I've always had a challenging time making friends.   My earliest memories when I was grade school I just remembered being teased and not really connecting with anyone.   I blogged about one bully that tormented me during my younger years.

I was a socially awkward boy and that carried into my teenage years.    I did have one kid during my pre-teen and teenage years that was the closest friend I had.   We lost contact once we graduated high school.   

In college I do remember I befriended a young man named Cedric.   We had one or two classes together.   We would commiserate about life and classes.   He wound up dropping out of college after a couple semesters and that ended our friendship.

I was still socially awkward.   I joined my university chapter's National Society of Black Engineers.  That was where I made my core friends that I still occasionally keep in touch with.    My last semester in college, I met Sally for the first time (not knowing at that time we would become lifelong friends).

I made a few work acquaintances since I started my corporate career in 1995.   During that time I was trying to figure out my sexuality.   I was at the time still thinking I would meet a girl and get married.   But remember that whole social awkward thing.

I never mentioned it before but when I was getting my eyes examined, I met a young lady that was a receptionist there.  I remember she said that was a single mom with a small child.    She took a liking to me and wanted to get to know me.   I think we may have hung out once but I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further with her.    It awkwardly ended after I stopped calling her and then she realized I wasn't interested and that ended things.

My college friend Doug was responsible for introducing me to my one and only girlfriend.   We met in October 1999, broke up a few months later, and then briefly reconnected in March 2001 before we broke up for good in September 2001.   It was that relationship that made me acknowledge that I am gay.   I was in denial because it was hammered over and over again during my school years.   So in a way I had to have a girlfriend to confirm on being gay.    I know there are gay men that married women to try and deny the gay but they would sneak behind their wives back to sleep with men who they really wanted.   Even though I wanted to have kids, I couldn't be deceptive like that.

So getting back to the friends thing, realizing I was gay did not make things any easier when it came to befriending guys.   I will say that I am forever grateful that I started blogging.    That alone opened me to meeting other gay guys that was valuable to me.    I do miss that.

When it came to making friends with gays offline, that unfortunately did not pan out well.   I started thinking about some of the guys I tried building friendships with but fell to the wayside.

I was remembering my brief time with Spades back in 2006.   Like a lot of gay friendships, it started out as a date to see if it was a love or sex match.    It wound up being neither but we both saw the potential in a friendship.   The trippy thing is that we shared the same birthday.   We even went on a trip to Vegas together.    But sadly things ended over something I still don't understand.   The last time we hung out we were dancing at a club and we even discovered that we had dated the same guy.    I thought for sure we would have had a lifelong friendship.    But it wasn't meant to be.

Then there was Huey.   We chatted on A4A and then he invited me to hang out with him at a local gay bar where I lost my stripper virginity....LOL.   Huey and I hung out every so often at the bars and he introduced me to an all you can eat sushi bar on the Northside of Chicago that we went to a few times.   Huey wound up being like the big gay brother I never had.    (My friend Eugene is actually my real big gay brother but he lives out of state.)  I still have fond memories of our time hanging out at IML.  But sadly our friendship ended over a slight.   I never did talk about what happened.    

We were supposed to hang out at the bar and agreed to meet each other around 11pm.   I get to the bar around that time and look for him but he's not there.  I tried calling him but he didn't answer his phone.  I hung out by myself for another hour and after unsuccessfully trying to call again, I finally left.   When I got home I called a third time and left a scathing voicemail.

I never heard back from him again until a week later.   He wound up leaving a voicemail basically saying that he left his phone somewhere but that he didn't appreciate my attitude.    By the time he had called I had gotten over it but hearing his voicemail pissed me off and I basically didn't call him back.  The friendship pretty much ended.   

I really felt sad about it and wondered if I should've called him back to try and salvage things.   I was mad because he didn't apologize for not meeting me.   If I were a more socially adaptive person, I could've made the best of the situation and maybe had my own fun.   But it's hard when you're out and about and everyone else is in their own clicks.    I did see Huey online on another social site many years later and we were cool but I knew we couldn't go back.

Then there was Jose who I met sometime in 2010.   We wound up having a sex date but he liked me enough that he thought we'd be better as friends.   Jose was very worldly and he was responsible for getting me to travel outside of the U.S.    He was one of my longer lasting friendships though that sadly fell apart due to as one of my old blogger friends Harold Gibson said, my not respecting my own boundaries.

There was another guy named Edwin that I met in his hometown of Portage, MI.   Edwin and I first chatted on a site called Silverdaddies.   I clocked from our conversations that we were having more of a friendship vibe.   That actually was pretty cool since I started chatting with him a few months into dating Dom.

I believe the first time I met him was in the summer of 2015 when I was traveling to Detroit.   We met at a local restaurant for brunch.  I will admit Edwin was definitely my type.    He had a dad bod that was bearish minus the hair.   I loved his voice, it had a nerdy but deep quality to it that drew my attention.   But if Edwin had any interest in me, he didn't show it.    

We would meet a few more times throughout the years, usually when I was traveling to and from Detroit.   Throughout that time Edwin never invited me to hang out beyond lunch.   Last Christmas I reached out to him to see if he wanted to hang out again.   But he made it feel like an imposition so I decided to back off.   I kind of realized that our friendship was mostly one-sided.   If I didn't message him I wouldn't hear back.   

There was another guy I'll just call Muscles that I chatted with on A4A in 2019.   Muscles and I had great conversation and we both shared that we had partners.    In our chat we thought it would be cool if the four of us hung out sometime.   I was thinking that would be so cool since I didn't really have gay friends and having another couple to hang out with would've been great.  I even told Dom about him.  We made plans to meet for an evening of bowling.

But the weekend we were supposed to meet, I had forgotten that I needed to have a tooth pulled on Friday.   This was in January 2020.   I mentioned to him the night before that we wouldn't be able to hang out because I was recovering from having oral surgery.   I believe he thought I was lying.   Then COVID started to hit and pretty much it was curtains for Muscles and I.

So you see friendships are not easy for me.   Thankfully I have Sally and Eugene still and a few acquaintances here and there.   Maybe someday, though, I can still find someone I can be friends with.  I guess Anthony and I have a kind of a friends with benefits thing going.   I need to try and develop that friendship more and get him to meet Dom as well.    

Coach Davis

 

Gaybuzzer posted this meme recently which made me chuckle and later put a smile on my face.   In the gay world I've definitely had my share of hooking up with married guys.  Unless you're one of those rare gay couples who met in their 20's and chose to stay committed to each other for decades, almost every gay guy has been with a married man.  Of course I'm on the other side of the equation now being the married guy that occasionally hooks up (though in the last couple years it's been pretty much with one person).

I had my own personal Coach Davis that I hooked up with once every other month between 2010 - 2014 when I was living on my own in Illinois.   I looked through my old posts and I apparently never posted about him.   So without further ado or Hemingway, let me reminisce about my Coach Davis.

I remember MCD and I found each other on a social networking site called SilverDaddies.   Oddly enough neither of us were particularly silver (at that time) but MCD was indeed a daddy.    As we chatted I learned that MCD was particularly interested in frottage.   Frottage, or frotting, is when two men rub their penises against each other repeatedly until both parties get a release.  This also involved rubbing our penises between our thighs or around the buttocks (without penetration).   He also enjoyed kissing which was a plus.

I also learned that he was only available after midnight (usually between 1am - 2am) and I would need to host.   To make things interesting we decided on a scenario that when he would come over, I would leave the front door unlocked and he would go upstairs to my bedroom and "find me asleep".   He would then hop in the bed, wake me, and then we would kiss and frot the time away.

I remember the first time he came over I was nervous.    I was taking a huge risk giving MCD my address.  What if he wasn't who he said he was.   Maybe he was working with other folks who would together rob me.    Maybe he would keep me busy upstairs while his accomplishes ransacked my house looking for things to steal.   Thankfully none of that happened.

That's the risk we all take when hooking up with strangers.   But boy did it work out in this case.   I was "asleep" when I heard MCD coming up the stairs.    He hopped into bed and we immediately started kissing and rubbing each other's bodies.   He grabbed both of our penises and gyrated himself over me as we continued our ritual.   Thirty minutes later we both came and we were both satisfied.

There was a point during a couple of those years where MCD was my only go-to for sexual relief.   So I greatly appreciated his visits.   One particular time I remember I fell asleep for real while waiting for him.   When he finally came over I remember I freaked out when he hopped in the bed but then quickly remembered our liaison.   That made things extra hot.

I noticed that MCD would quickly leave after we both got off (at least he was generous with wanting me to be satisfied).  A part of me kept wondering why he couldn't linger for a few minutes afterwards to enjoy the afterglow.    I discovered later that he had 3 kids.   That made the fact that he was able to slip away and visit me in the dead of the night all the more miraculous.   Part of me wondered if he drugged his wife before leaving.   I guess he must've had some excuse that he did (just as I do now...usually the casino is my go-to excuse).

One of the last times we met MCD told me that he wouldn't be able to get away to see me.  I'm guessing circumstances changed at home where it wasn't feasible to make those late night frot calls. When I think about it, it's amazing that he was able to meet me all those years.   One of those last times he visited me was actually in the late afternoon which was very rare.    I had never really seen him in the light so that was different as well.   It was bittersweet frotting with him that last time.

It's hard to believe it's been almost 16 years since my first time meeting MCD.   Overall it was a great time to be alive and I was still in the prime of my life.    Seeing GayBuzzer's post this morning put a smile on my face as it took me back to my own Coach Davis.   I wonder what MCD is up to these days.  His kids are probably in their early 20's or almost graduating high school.   Is he still with his wife or did they divorce?   I guess I'll never know but I do wish him the best.    He gave me some wonderful memories that I will continue to treasure.