Stormy Weather

 This summer has been quite eventful weatherwise.   It seemed like every week they were announcing some weather event where there was the potential for tornadoes and flooding.   Last month the tornadoes hit very close to where we live in the town of Merrillville.    We frequent there when shopping at Costco or when I was taking my certification exams for the latest Salesforce cert.    So it was surreal to see the destruction that took place.  My area received lots of rain and heavy winds but thankfully we didn't get the brunt of the bad weather.  I haven't been to Merrillville since the tornadoes but plan to go this weekend to Costco as we need to stock up on some bulk items.

We've had more storm events happen due to the very humid air in the air and a cold front moving in from the north.   Areas were also seeing hail the size of golf balls.    We have windows open because we have no central air and Dom insists on having them constantly open.   When the winds came through, the gust was enough to knock some of the spices we had placed on the kitchen sill fly off.

When coming back from our court appearance in late June, we drove through the town of Griffith, IN and could see that they had reduced major roadway Ridge to only one lane each direction, the other lane was filled with tree debris from fallen limbs.   

So this past Monday, Chicagoland experienced yet another storm event.    This time the Southern burbs of Illinois received the brunt of the tornadoes, including Lansing, Orland Park, and Homewood.   Anthony lives in that area and he mentioned that the power went out for him.   It so happened that this time Dom and I went without power.   The power was out for almost six hours.   Dom especially had a hard time adjusting to how hot the house got without fans and our A/C bedroom.

At first we were in the mud room where he opened the windows and a breeze was coming through.  I don't care for the mud room because part of the windows extend to our neighbor's driveway.  Dom of course was talking loud and his voice was carrying outside, enough for the Amazon delivery person delivering a package for our neighbors to turn is head and look at us.  

I decided to stay in the living room and lie down on one of the sofas.   Dom and I would continue to converse from between the rooms since the mud room is only inches away from the living room.   Eventually we moved upstairs and Dom of course opened the bedroom window w/o the A/C unit as high as possible.   But he wasn't comfortable.   I was wanting to doze off but really couldn't because he was tossing and turning.   So I went back down to the sofa and Dom eventually joined.   We talked for a bit before I finally dozed off.    By then we were on hour 4 or 5 without power.   I was definitely worrying about our food going bad in the refrigerators.   The mini-fridge in the kitchen nook starting leaking water from the freezer.

I felt the ceiling fans start spinning and the lights turn on in the living room after a little over 6 hours without power and heard Dom exclaiming joy.   I soon also exclaimed joy and was grateful that the outage didn't carry on through the night.   

It's funny that some do not believe in global warming but how can we explain all the major weather events especially tornadoes that have never plagued our area before.   It's not over either.   It wouldn't surprise me to see more events like this in the near future.   All we can do is take cover and pray.

Mario Bellissimo

 I reminisced back in February about my frotting good time experiences with MCD during the 2010's.   I recalled meeting him on a site called SilverDaddies.   Speaking on MCD made me think about another memorable guy that I met there but never blogged about - till now.   Yes my next post is another menses production post.

Let me tell you about Mario (his real first name).   I started chatting with him on SilverDaddies sometime around 2009.   He was active in my life around the same time period as Midas.    As much as I was falling for Midas during that time, Mario was another guy that I found myself falling hard for.   In fact Mario and Midas were neck in neck for my affections though Midas edged him out slightly.   If I could've gotten either guy to commit to me, I would've been a happy man.

Mario was a half Italian/half Mexican guy in his mid-30's.   I don't remember who started chatting with who but like MCD I had no idea what he looked like.   I just remember our conversations were very spicy.   Also similar to MCD he would have to come to my place as he couldn't host.   We agreed to meet at my house one Sunday evening.   As it turned out, Sundays nights usually were the best time for him to meet.

When Mario first came over, I was instantly attracted.   He was about 5'11 to 6 feet tall, around 220 - 230 pounds of beef.   He wasn't very hairy so not quite a bear.   But he had the nicest smile and was so friendly.   He was very handsome.   We quickly headed to the bedroom and proceeded to get it on.   

Mario was such a great lover.   He was considerate and always made sure I was satisfied.   He knew how to work his tool.  He had a slightly aggressive streak in bed and loved talking dirty.   After we were done we would chat for a bit before he eventually left.

We would continue to meet regularly for the next two years.  Within a few months as I got to know him, I started to fall for him.   I remember he mentioned working as either in marketing or finances.   He mentioned having a gym membership at a pricey club that his company paid for.

The issue with Mario was that he was in the closet.  Deep in the closet.   I remember I would suggest us going out for dinner and he would say he wasn't comfortable.   He even said something that was shocking and offensive.   He commented that he never ate out with a black person.   I remember being shocked and thinking why would it matter what race I was.    But then I realized his family likely had opinions on black folks that he no doubt carried.    And I wasn't the special black...*LOL* (and no there's no special one in a racist world - something Kash Patel still needs to learn).

I never knew if he had a girlfriend or another relationship as he kept that quiet.   But I suppose the fact that he only was available on Sunday evenings and we never could meet at his place may have been a clue.

The other thing I remember is that Mario and Midas share the distinction as my only time where I double dipped with two guys.    That means having sex with two different guys on the same day.   I still fondly remember New Year's Day 2011.   I spent New Year's Eve with Sally hanging out with a girlfriend of her's in the city.   Before meeting Sally I made plans with Midas to head to his place at 3am.   Luckily he was about a mile from the CTA Green line so it was walkable.   Yes during the early morning hours I had sex for the last time with Midas.   The next evening I had sex with Mario (so technically it wasn't a double dip but it was the shortest amount of time between two guys that I had).   Sadly that wound up being one of the last times that Mario and I had sex.

I found out mid-February 2011 that I had contracted syphilis after noticing the classic symptoms in the palms of my hands.   It was from a random Craigslist hookup that I had earlier that month I had no business being with.   I remember Mario was wanting to come over that Sunday but I obviously couldn't have sex since I was treated for syphilis and needed time for the treatment to do its thing.   (I don't think I ever blogged about that but yes that was my experience with STDs, along with a case of crabs that I had caught early in my sex career and then the HPV in 2013).

I was honest with Mario about the situation and that pretty much ended our relations.   Oddly enough he would still call me wanting to talk dirty which we did.   But he never again came to my place.  I tried telling him that we could be friends.   But how could we be friends if he didn't want to hang out?  I even suggested maybe we could cook a meal at home.    But I spooked him for good with my news.

We still chatted and emailed periodically for a while.  I even remember telling him about a place in Barcelona where I saw a restaurant with his name on it while vacationing there.    But eventually our chats tapered off sometime in 2013.  

He hurt me with his rejection.  It really hurt realizing how because of a stupid moment, I ruined our thing.  But realistically if he wasn't willing to go beyond the bedroom, how much longer would it have lasted?   That was part of the reason I was still looking for a boyfriend and strayed in the wrong places.  If there was any chance he expressed interest in more, I would've committed to him in a heartbeat.   Yeah Mario and Midas were the only two that I had those feelings for at that time.

The last time I messaged him was sometime in 2018 or 2019.   He was doing good.   He even said he had a boyfriend (so I guess he was out of the closet).   I assumed the boyfriend was of "Caucasian persuasion" but I didn't ask.    I told him about Dom and then we basically said goodbye.

I do hope Mario is doing good.  Like MCD I will fondly remember the good times we had.  And now I'm thinking about two more significant guys early in my gay life that I've never talked about.   One of them was my first guy (after my Halloween 2022 escort gay) I met being new to the gay scene.   The other guy was a younger brother that had his shit together that I ultimately messed up but he gave me something to remember him by.    Those two will be for another time.

More Court Fun

The weeks have been moving along pretty quick.   Dom and I went to the Courthouse on our appointed date 06/26.    They said our court time was 8:45AM but we didn't get seen by the judge until almost 11AM.   We got there earlier around a little after 8AM.    There's a metal detector that everyone has to go through because you know with the litigious nature of the cases, people could become postal and bring a gun or another weapon.    They weren't letting people through until 8:30AM.    So we waited in the lobby along with other folks that had their own cases to deal with.    

Once we passed the metal detectors, Dom had to go in the court room and register that he arrived.   Then we had to sit in a hard chair and wait till his name was called.    That was a long 2 1/2 hour wait.   I had forgotten to eat anything beforehand so I was starting to get hungry near the 11AM time.

So we saw the lawyer for the plaintiff walking in the hallway and disappearing in the court room for other cases.   I didn't know for sure it was him until I heard him mention the hospital while talking to the staff and then disappearing with other defendants in the court room when it was their time.

Eventually it was Dom's turn.   We were ushered into the courtroom where the judge gave Dom an earful for not showing up on the previous court date.   I was pissed but all we could do was sit there and take it.   The judge accepted the motion to set aside the judgment (that I went to the court to hand off) and basically we went with the plaintiff into a private room to see if we could agree to an amount.

We didn't agree to the amount.  The plaintiff listed all these various amounts from 2020 - 2023 that weren't listed in Dom's bill portal.   They did add up to the nearly $5000 bill the hospital was claiming he owed.   The bill portal had $2400+ that was listed as gone to collections.   I had paid $1400 of it which left $1000.   If nothing else we feel that we paid part of what they think we owe and a reevaluation is needed.

Since we didn't agree, a new court date of July 31st was given.   We showed the plaintiff the bill portal that showed we only owed $1000.   He said that he would share this with the hospital and mail us a copy of the bills they claim we owe.   We still haven't received that yet but I am thinking we may need to log into the portal once more to see if they added anything there.   They may mail it closer to our court date as well.   Who knows?   

 I will be glad when this nightmare is over.   I will have to budget whatever the final expense is.   There is light at the end of the tunnel coming though.  Dom heard back from the Social Security office and they mentioned he will start getting monthly payments in late August.   So he'll finally be getting some income (it won't be a lot but it's something).    We also learned that there isn't a separate payment for disability.   It's apparently rolled into one so if disability payment is higher, that is what he will get.   If social security is higher, that is what he will get.    He needs to provide some additional information to get qualified for disability and then we should know what the amount is.    It sucks but actually that makes sense.   If Dom were still in his working years, the disability would be a separate income stream while he can't work.   But since Social Security is now his income stream, disability if paid separately would be like supplemental income and the government can't have that apparently...LOL.

Stay tuned.

Obama Presidential Center

Having two posts in a row about politics is a first for me.    But I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the historical event that took place in the Southside of Chicago.   Former President Barack Obama's Presidential Library had their official opening ceremony this past Thursday, June 18th at 10:30 AM CST and had their first full open day in time for Juneteenth.

The timing of the official opening couldn't have been more perfect.   A lot of folks are choosing it as the real 250th Anniversary celebration.   Speaking of which, it was quite the contrast to see the number of celebrities and political figures that came out in support of the Obama Presidential Center from all the celebrities that were running away from any association with Orange's event.

All the former living presidents and their spouses were there - The Bush's, The Clinton's, and the Biden's.    They were behind a glass shield because sadly there are evil people that might try something.   But I imagine the security for the event was pretty tight.

The center itself has been in the works for several years.   I got to see it constructed over the years as I commuted back and forth to Chicago for work.   It seemed it would never open but in the last year the powers that be confirmed they were targeting this past Juneteenth for the center to be open.

Museum tickets are already sold out through November.   Dom is definitely excited about checking it out so we're hoping to do so sometime next summer.   I'll just have to be on the lookout for tickets when they become available.

The official opening ceremony itself was quite spectacular.   I happen to be working from home that day so I got to watch a little bit of it as it aired.   It was a reminder of what America took for granted when Obama was in office.    I knew it was going to be hilarious when I saw Martin Nesbitt, the Obama Foundation Board Chair, coming out in a tan suit as he gave the opening remarks.    "How ya'll like my tan suit?"  (LOL too funny)  There were several other celebrities who chose to put on tan suits as well.    Hard to believe that some of Obama's opposition was attacking his wardrobe.    But then again they couldn't find anything else to attack him on.

But the highlight of the ceremony had to be when Michelle Obama spoke in dedication to her husband.   It was sweet seeing how emotional Barack was getting as she listed all of his accomplishments.   She reminded us of how under the microscope Obama was as the first black president.   She also got quite a few digs on Orange and his administration without saying the Orange name.  Obama rightfully earned his Nobel Peace Prize.   It was a delight to hear and she is indeed a powerful speaker.   I do wish she would consider running for President but I completely don't blame her for not doing so.

Of course Barack Obama spoke as well.    He also got in a few digs at Orange without mentioning his name.   I didn't get to watch it in entirety but I plan to.   

What a contrast having an intelligent president that can speak complete sentences.   America definitely took him for granted.   Sally did remind me that she faced her toughest years during the Obama presidency.   2007 was when she lost her IT job and it was a long seven year struggle.  But she also found her way out of it during the latter part of the Obama presidency.    It does go to show that we all have our individual crosses to bear regardless of who the president is.   But having someone that has intelligence, charisma, and common sense goes a long way.   

I don't know if we can recover from Orange's tyranny.    It's going to take many years I imagine.   But for one day at least it was nice to see common sense win for a moment again.

Skewing Vance

 The state of the U.S. current administration is depressing to think about.   You can't get away from hearing or thinking about it whether via the news, social media, or being out and about.   I'm tired and grateful for my current employment and know while I do gripe about my finances from time to time, things could be a whole lot worse.    The ways things are politically doesn't make things any better.

This past weekend was Orange's 80th birthday.   For several weeks Orange was talking about celebrating the days following that dreaded day with a patriotic concert that many celebs when they found out they were on the list, quickly distanced themselves from.    Even Fab Morvan of Milli Vanilli fame (and actually a potential family cousin) dropped out.   He's thankfully redeemed himself years back from a situation that wasn't his fault.   He wisely distanced himself from the concert series.

So this past weekend, Orange held a UFC event after further desecrating the White House.   The event was a disaster with the "winner" wrestler chose to end his rant with a sophomoric insult to Michelle Obama not worth repeating.   

The UFC Boss tried to renounce it but didn't do anything beyond lip service.   He had the nerve to say the event was intended to be patriotic and not political.   

But in an even crazier move, the Vice President thought it was a good idea to go promote his book on The View.   I knew he was delusional but didn't realize how much he is.   Or maybe his team thought it was a good idea.   Also he has time to write a book while holding the 2nd highest position in the country.   That says all I need to know.

The ladies on the View minus the current conservative panelist Alyssa Griffin skewered him as expected.   They actually could've been worse (Sunny in particular was quite restrained) but I'm sure they were told to hold back some.   Vance failed miserably in winning over any new folks or anyone that was on the fence.

Vance apparently is making the rounds in talk show and podcast land.   I saw that he did an interview with a podcaster.   The headline is very clickbait.  The White House is trying to make people deny what they can see with their own eyes.   Unfortunately mainstream media isn't doing enough to hold the current administration to the fire.   Hemingway I probably won't watch the whole thing as I find Vance repulsive but I may check out snippets of it.

Default Judgment Revisited

As previously mentioned, Dom received a "Notice of Claim" from a collection agency back in mid-April.   We mulled over our options and honestly hoped that it would blow over like some of the other judgments that were received.   Worse case scenario they would have to garnish his wages which currently is non-existent.   There was a court date given that we decided not to attend.

The court date came and went.   Later that week Dom received a letter stating that a $5000 default judgment was filed against him.   I debated whether we should contest it or not.    We were only aware of $2400 that he owed that was stated to have been filed in collections.   

In the end I decided to file a Motion To Set Aside The Default Judgment on Dom's behalf.   As expected we received in the mail a week or so afterwards a new court date to appear.   It's on June 26th at 8:45 AM.   I'm turning to ChatGPT for advice though ultimately Dom will have to speak on the matter.

According to ChatGPT, it says that the first thing to do is to get the default judgment set aside.   They suggest saying something like the following:

"Your Honor, I respectfully ask that the default judgment be set aside.  I acted promptly after learning on the judgment, filed my motion, and served the plaintiff.   I would like the opportunity to respond and address the claim."

It sounds like at that point, the judge may schedule a future date to give Dom the opportunity to do that.    If there is a deadline, we would need to be ready for a response by then.

The answer would need to include what is known to be true, deny what we don't know, and the plaintiff would need to prove the amount they say that is owed.    In a nutshell we would need to know how they arrived at over $5000.

If after doing all that an amount is determined, at that point, a reduced settlement can be asked, a payment plan can be discussed, and a hardship review presented.   I keep wondering if I should appear as I don't want them coming after me directly for the debt though ultimately I'm going to have to pay whatever is settled upon.

I don't know what's going to happen on that day.   I am praying if there is a settlement the amount is greatly reduced.   I will admit again that I am frustrated to be in this situation.   I'm mad at Dom for his lack of financial responsibility and also the hospital for their outrageous expenses.   But for better or for worse when Dom is in trouble, so am I.   Stay tuned.

Living With A Collector

 As you may our may not know (if you're a new reader - do I even have those... 😆 ), Dom has a huge collection of vintage dolls from various genres.   He has Barbies. Gene Marshall's, Poppy Parker, and many celebrity dolls like Elizabeth Taylor, Mariah Carey, and RuPaul just to name a few.   

We currently live in a 4 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath home with a basement and almost every inch of the house, except for the kitchen and bathrooms have some kind of doll presence.   When we first moved here, he insisted that the largest bedroom be dedicated as his personal doll room.   That room has wall-to-floor dolls everywhere.   They quickly spread to the other two rooms in the upstairs area with our main bedroom also surrounded by dolls and all their accessories.    Even the hallways are full of boxes filled with dolls and more accessories.    And as if he doesn't have enough, he continues to order new dolls to add to his collection.

It's enough to make me go batty.   I never dreamed I would be living in a cluttered home.   It was something I was hoping to avoid seeing how my parents ended up with a lot of clutter that we needed to go through when they were called by God.   But alas when Dom and I eventually get our calling cards, folks will be going through our house and saying "oh my God, I can't believe how much stuff is here".   A lot of it I'm sure will be hauled away or given away to other collectors.   It's crazy to think about but the reality is none of us lives forever.

Part of the reason I've posted on this is that I've surprisingly not seen much written out there from the perspective of a non-collector living with someone that collects stuff.   There's a special blessing I feel we deserve for living in this situation.   Sadly to even try and get work done to the house, sometimes I have to move doll stuff around so the workers can do their job.   I have second-hand embarrassment when someone come to our house to do work and they see how we're living.   I can imagine what they tell their friends or significant others about our place after they're done.   I'm hoping they've seen worse. 

We're wanting to finally update our full size bed to an adjustable split bed so Dom will be comfortable sleeping upstairs again.    Our current mattress is 31 years old and needs replacement badly.   The main bedroom also has ceiling paneling that's falling apart.   I've removed some of the pieces but unfortunately I can't remove the rest because there's so much junk in the room (majority of it dolls and accessories) that need to be moved.   But part of the challenge is where can it be moved too.   The hallway that connects the other room are extremely cluttered and the other two rooms are also full of stuff.   I can see the ceiling above the paneling is peeling and would be in need of painting.   Also the light fixture would have to change since it's panel lighting.   Also the walls have some awful dated paneling that would need to be changed.    The easiest thing would be to get some wallpaper to cover it up.   There's also a hole in the upper corner of ceiling where a plug that I have no idea what it's for (but it may be for something in the attic) is sticking out from.   We're thinking we could put crown molding possibly to try and cover that up.   But to do all this the stuff in the room needs to go.   But where would it go?   We need a handyman likely to put the new lighting fixture (which Dom insists has to have a fan), paint the ceiling, install the wall paper, and put in the crown molding.    To even get to that point where I can hire a handyman, we need to at least declutter the room.

Dom unfortunately isn't doing well health-wise so his energy is not great to provide any assistance so I'm stuck trying to move stuff but I don't know where to put stuff.    We definitely need help.

It's part of the frustration I feel when I realize how we're living.   I love Dom but I told myself if something were to happen to him first and I somehow met someone else, that person cannot be a collector (unless it's a collection that's small enough to fit in one room).   There's a couple other things that person can't be either but that's neither here or there.

Dom has a doll friend in the west coast that was in a long-term relationship with a non-collector.   They broke up last year and there wasn't a reason given.   Part of me wondered if the non-collector got tired of dealing with the doll friend's collection and the constant need to buy more and more crap (to me) and decided to call it quits.   I wasn't friends with the non-collector so I'll never know.   But I wish I could talk to him and get the 411 on how he felt living with a collector.   

I feel like we non-collectors need our own support group where we can vent about our situations.   Are there any groups out there?    I can't be the only one that's frustrated how living with a collector affects them not just with the accumulation of stuff but financially as well.   I'm having to pay for all of Dom's stuff now and it has me worried.   If I were to lose my job, what would we do?   I'm the only one who worries about that.   Thankfully I am more of a saver so I've been doing everything in my power to try and improve our finances despite living with a spending collector.

I remember back in 2017 when we were 2 1/2 years into dating and I found out that June that I was being let go by the end of September, I was telling Dom then that we need to try and not spend as much since I was going to lose my job in the next couple months and I didn't know how long it would take to get another one.    But that went in one ear and out the other.    He didn't slow up on his doll purchases.   At least he did have a job then.    But it made me sick to see how almost his whole check would go to buying doll stuff.

I probably should've ran then.  Dom claims he tried to warn me.   I guess the signs were there but I guess I put the blinders on in that regards.   I loved Dom's other qualities more than I hated the few things that irked.   At the end of the day I do love Dom and he is a good person at heart.   

Hopefully we can get this bedroom remodel going this year.   Stay tuned.