Strong Scents

 Anthony and I met up this past Sunday for another hook up session.   It was our first time meeting since last November.   The last couple times we met I noticed that he's not able to keep an erection.   He gets excited when his nips are aggressively sucked but once that stops, his erection dies.   He had me repeatedly suck them to get hard but it didn't get hard enough.   As a result he had difficulty screwing since I myself am tight down there (since I'm not regularly doing it).    The reality is that he's in his mid-60's so it makes sense that he isn't as spry as he used to be.   But we still enjoyed ourselves jacking off.

Anthony being the great host always offers me a chance to shower up afterwards.   His selection of soaps however is of the Axe body spray kind which has a strong scent.  He does have a bar of soap that looks like Irish Spring which Dom uses so I gravitated towards that.   

But Anthony heavily uses Axe which means he is reeking of the smell.    When I got home and Dom and I had dinner, he noticed the scent on me and was asking me what I washed up with.   He even asked if I was hugged up on someone which I denied.   I know I said that I need to tell Dom about Anthony but it's hard to just say it.   Even though Dom would understand (since it's been years since we had last had sex), I worry about hurting his feelings.

I did promise Anthony that I would plan something soon for Dom and he to meet.   Anthony now makes a point to ask me what dolls Dom has purchased.   I honestly can't keep up with all the different brands he has.   I figure it would be good for them to meet so they can talk doll shop.   But now I'm nervous that Dom will notice Anthony's scent and put two and two together.    

At the end of the day my heart is with Dom.  I love Dom and want to be with him.   I will say I myself am slowing down sexually and haven't been actively seeking it out.   Part of it though is dealing with the games guys play.   I've had to deal with that game playing for more than 25 years so that gets old.  So unless a guy tickles my fancy on the social sites, I rarely respond to anyone.  The only other guys I occasionally chat with are my usual suspects - Midas, Doug, and Mitch.    It's all nonsexual there with an occasional tease that leads nowhere.

Speaking of Mitch, he reaches an exciting milestone in a couple weeks.   After March 28th, he'll have less than 2 years left in his prison term.   So he's definitely excited about that.   By the time he is released he'll be over 65.    With the help of his daughter, he's found a new home that he'll be able to move into upon release.    It's actually a few miles from the Japanese grocery store that I used to frequent when I lived in Illinois so that's cool.   I look forward to seeing him again once he's released.

Dom Pop

 I just saw something on my Facebook feed that looks like a good gift idea for Dom's birthday (which isn't until June).    It's a popcorn maker from this company called PopSmith.  PopSmith says they are popcorn perfected.   They promise a one-of-a-kind popcorn experience that is easy to use and ready in under 5 minutes.

Dom loves making popcorn on the stove but I hate when he uses my stainless steel pot to make it in.   It stains the pan and makes it hard to clean the excess oil.    I may be a little petty about it.

When we were in Shipshewana about eighteen months back, we stopped at Yoder's Meat & Cheese where they were selling a Nordic Ware popcorn maker for about $14.   I was hoping Dom would use that to make his popcorn but he didn't like the popcorn because it didn't have any of the oily flavor that he got with cooking it in oil over the fire and it was dry.   When using the Nordic Ware, you don't need to add any extra oil to it.   I did try adding a tablespoon of butter to it but he still didn't care for it.

So back to the pan he went.    But I saw the one from PopSmith and it promises that the experience would be just like enjoying theatre popcorn.   The only thing that's giving me pause is the $200 price tag.   But I can see that Target has some stove-top popcorn makers between $40 - $80.   That may be the happy medium we need.    So I'm posting this so I can remember this as a possible gift idea for Dom this year.  Either that or maybe a new rice cooker.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

War - Why Can't We Be Friends?

INTRO
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
La, la, la, la, la, laa
La, la, la, la, la, la

CHORUS
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

VERSE1
I've seen you 'round for a long, long time
I remembered you when you drank my wine

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE2
I've seen you walking down in Chinatown
I called you, but I could not look around

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE3
I paid my money to the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time.

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE4
The color of your skin don't matter to me (Ow!)
As long as we can live in harmony

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE5
I'd kind of like to be the President (Oh yeah!)
So I can show you how your money's spent, hoo!

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE6
Sometimes, I don't speak right
But yet, I know what I'm talking about

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 7
I know you're working for the CIA
They wouldn't have you in the MAFI-A

REPEAT CHORUS X 3

In life I've always had a challenging time making friends.   My earliest memories when I was grade school I just remembered being teased and not really connecting with anyone.   I blogged about one bully that tormented me during my younger years.

I was a socially awkward boy and that carried into my teenage years.    I did have one kid during my pre-teen and teenage years that was the closest friend I had.   We lost contact once we graduated high school.   

In college I do remember I befriended a young man named Cedric.   We had one or two classes together.   We would commiserate about life and classes.   He wound up dropping out of college after a couple semesters and that ended our friendship.

I was still socially awkward.   I joined my university chapter's National Society of Black Engineers.  That was where I made my core friends that I still occasionally keep in touch with.    My last semester in college, I met Sally for the first time (not knowing at that time we would become lifelong friends).

I made a few work acquaintances since I started my corporate career in 1995.   During that time I was trying to figure out my sexuality.   I was at the time still thinking I would meet a girl and get married.   But remember that whole social awkward thing.

I never mentioned it before but when I was getting my eyes examined, I met a young lady that was a receptionist there.  I remember she said that was a single mom with a small child.    She took a liking to me and wanted to get to know me.   I think we may have hung out once but I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further with her.    It awkwardly ended after I stopped calling her and then she realized I wasn't interested and that ended things.

My college friend Doug was responsible for introducing me to my one and only girlfriend.   We met in October 1999, broke up a few months later, and then briefly reconnected in March 2001 before we broke up for good in September 2001.   It was that relationship that made me acknowledge that I am gay.   I was in denial because it was hammered over and over again during my school years.   So in a way I had to have a girlfriend to confirm on being gay.    I know there are gay men that married women to try and deny the gay but they would sneak behind their wives back to sleep with men who they really wanted.   Even though I wanted to have kids, I couldn't be deceptive like that.

So getting back to the friends thing, realizing I was gay did not make things any easier when it came to befriending guys.   I will say that I am forever grateful that I started blogging.    That alone opened me to meeting other gay guys that was valuable to me.    I do miss that.

When it came to making friends with gays offline, that unfortunately did not pan out well.   I started thinking about some of the guys I tried building friendships with but fell to the wayside.

I was remembering my brief time with Spades back in 2006.   Like a lot of gay friendships, it started out as a date to see if it was a love or sex match.    It wound up being neither but we both saw the potential in a friendship.   The trippy thing is that we shared the same birthday.   We even went on a trip to Vegas together.    But sadly things ended over something I still don't understand.   The last time we hung out we were dancing at a club and we even discovered that we had dated the same guy.    I thought for sure we would have had a lifelong friendship.    But it wasn't meant to be.

Then there was Huey.   We chatted on A4A and then he invited me to hang out with him at a local gay bar where I lost my stripper virginity....LOL.   Huey and I hung out every so often at the bars and he introduced me to an all you can eat sushi bar on the Northside of Chicago that we went to a few times.   Huey wound up being like the big gay brother I never had.    (My friend Eugene is actually my real big gay brother but he lives out of state.)  I still have fond memories of our time hanging out at IML.  But sadly our friendship ended over a slight.   I never did talk about what happened.    

We were supposed to hang out at the bar and agreed to meet each other around 11pm.   I get to the bar around that time and look for him but he's not there.  I tried calling him but he didn't answer his phone.  I hung out by myself for another hour and after unsuccessfully trying to call again, I finally left.   When I got home I called a third time and left a scathing voicemail.

I never heard back from him again until a week later.   He wound up leaving a voicemail basically saying that he left his phone somewhere but that he didn't appreciate my attitude.    By the time he had called I had gotten over it but hearing his voicemail pissed me off and I basically didn't call him back.  The friendship pretty much ended.   

I really felt sad about it and wondered if I should've called him back to try and salvage things.   I was mad because he didn't apologize for not meeting me.   If I were a more socially adaptive person, I could've made the best of the situation and maybe had my own fun.   But it's hard when you're out and about and everyone else is in their own clicks.    I did see Huey online on another social site many years later and we were cool but I knew we couldn't go back.

Then there was Jose who I met sometime in 2010.   We wound up having a sex date but he liked me enough that he thought we'd be better as friends.   Jose was very worldly and he was responsible for getting me to travel outside of the U.S.    He was one of my longer lasting friendships though that sadly fell apart due to as one of my old blogger friends Harold Gibson said, my not respecting my own boundaries.

There was another guy named Edwin that I met in his hometown of Portage, MI.   Edwin and I first chatted on a site called Silverdaddies.   I clocked from our conversations that we were having more of a friendship vibe.   That actually was pretty cool since I started chatting with him a few months into dating Dom.

I believe the first time I met him was in the summer of 2015 when I was traveling to Detroit.   We met at a local restaurant for brunch.  I will admit Edwin was definitely my type.    He had a dad bod that was bearish minus the hair.   I loved his voice, it had a nerdy but deep quality to it that drew my attention.   But if Edwin had any interest in me, he didn't show it.    

We would meet a few more times throughout the years, usually when I was traveling to and from Detroit.   Throughout that time Edwin never invited me to hang out beyond lunch.   Last Christmas I reached out to him to see if he wanted to hang out again.   But he made it feel like an imposition so I decided to back off.   I kind of realized that our friendship was mostly one-sided.   If I didn't message him I wouldn't hear back.   

There was another guy I'll just call Muscles that I chatted with on A4A in 2019.   Muscles and I had great conversation and we both shared that we had partners.    In our chat we thought it would be cool if the four of us hung out sometime.   I was thinking that would be so cool since I didn't really have gay friends and having another couple to hang out with would've been great.  I even told Dom about him.  We made plans to meet for an evening of bowling.

But the weekend we were supposed to meet, I had forgotten that I needed to have a tooth pulled on Friday.   This was in January 2020.   I mentioned to him the night before that we wouldn't be able to hang out because I was recovering from having oral surgery.   I believe he thought I was lying.   Then COVID started to hit and pretty much it was curtains for Muscles and I.

So you see friendships are not easy for me.   Thankfully I have Sally and Eugene still and a few acquaintances here and there.   Maybe someday, though, I can still find someone I can be friends with.  I guess Anthony and I have a kind of a friends with benefits thing going.   I need to try and develop that friendship more and get him to meet Dom as well.    

Coach Davis

 

Gaybuzzer posted this meme recently which made me chuckle and later put a smile on my face.   In the gay world I've definitely had my share of hooking up with married guys.  Unless you're one of those rare gay couples who met in their 20's and chose to stay committed to each other for decades, almost every gay guy has been with a married man.  Of course I'm on the other side of the equation now being the married guy that occasionally hooks up (though in the last couple years it's been pretty much with one person).

I had my own personal Coach Davis that I hooked up with once every other month between 2010 - 2014 when I was living on my own in Illinois.   I looked through my old posts and I apparently never posted about him.   So without further ado or Hemingway, let me reminisce about my Coach Davis.

I remember MCD and I found each other on a social networking site called SilverDaddies.   Oddly enough neither of us were particularly silver (at that time) but MCD was indeed a daddy.    As we chatted I learned that MCD was particularly interested in frottage.   Frottage, or frotting, is when two men rub their penises against each other repeatedly until both parties get a release.  This also involved rubbing our penises between our thighs or around the buttocks (without penetration).   He also enjoyed kissing which was a plus.

I also learned that he was only available after midnight (usually between 1am - 2am) and I would need to host.   To make things interesting we decided on a scenario that when he would come over, I would leave the front door unlocked and he would go upstairs to my bedroom and "find me asleep".   He would then hop in the bed, wake me, and then we would kiss and frot the time away.

I remember the first time he came over I was nervous.    I was taking a huge risk giving MCD my address.  What if he wasn't who he said he was.   Maybe he was working with other folks who would together rob me.    Maybe he would keep me busy upstairs while his accomplishes ransacked my house looking for things to steal.   Thankfully none of that happened.

That's the risk we all take when hooking up with strangers.   But boy did it work out in this case.   I was "asleep" when I heard MCD coming up the stairs.    He hopped into bed and we immediately started kissing and rubbing each other's bodies.   He grabbed both of our penises and gyrated himself over me as we continued our ritual.   Thirty minutes later we both came and we were both satisfied.

There was a point during a couple of those years where MCD was my only go-to for sexual relief.   So I greatly appreciated his visits.   One particular time I remember I fell asleep for real while waiting for him.   When he finally came over I remember I freaked out when he hopped in the bed but then quickly remembered our liaison.   That made things extra hot.

I noticed that MCD would quickly leave after we both got off (at least he was generous with wanting me to be satisfied).  A part of me kept wondering why he couldn't linger for a few minutes afterwards to enjoy the afterglow.    I discovered later that he had 3 kids.   That made the fact that he was able to slip away and visit me in the dead of the night all the more miraculous.   Part of me wondered if he drugged his wife before leaving.   I guess he must've had some excuse that he did (just as I do now...usually the casino is my go-to excuse).

One of the last times we met MCD told me that he wouldn't be able to get away to see me.  I'm guessing circumstances changed at home where it wasn't feasible to make those late night frot calls. When I think about it, it's amazing that he was able to meet me all those years.   One of those last times he visited me was actually in the late afternoon which was very rare.    I had never really seen him in the light so that was different as well.   It was bittersweet frotting with him that last time.

It's hard to believe it's been almost 16 years since my first time meeting MCD.   Overall it was a great time to be alive and I was still in the prime of my life.    Seeing GayBuzzer's post this morning put a smile on my face as it took me back to my own Coach Davis.   I wonder what MCD is up to these days.  His kids are probably in their early 20's or almost graduating high school.   Is he still with his wife or did they divorce?   I guess I'll never know but I do wish him the best.    He gave me some wonderful memories that I will continue to treasure.

The Heat Is On

 It's been a cold eight days since our boiler went out.  Even with the space heaters it's been horrible.  I've had some reprieve with going into the office but I wound up catching a cold (still recovering) from the constant temperature switch.   Dom's even had to come upstairs to sleep for a few nights.    Company #1 did come over last Thursday to check on the state of the boiler.   The technician reviewed it and determined that the boiler couldn't be saved.   They normally charge an $80 service call charge but since they didn't repair it they waived the charge.   Instead they sent over a second person who came an hour or so after the first technician to discuss the costs for a new boiler.

The second person reviewed the boiler and pipe setup.  He then eyed my water boiler and noted its age.   He came up with two options.    We could either get a new boiler on its own or he was suggesting what was called a combi-boiler which functions as a boiler and a water heater.   The minimum estimate for the boiler was $12,000 (which was way higher than I expected).   He sited having to remove the old boiler and retrofitting the pipes into the boiler as reasons for the cost.   

He was slightly pushy by saying I could sign a contract as soon as he drafted it out and work could begin as early as the following Monday.   I told him that I would be getting a second quote as well.     He left and said he would send me an email with the estimates the next day.

Dom immediately thought it was way too expensive.   I thought it was on the high-end but felt like everything these days is costly.   I forgot to ask if that included labor as well.   But I did want a second opinion.   Dom was suggesting reaching out to Home Depot since they could direct us to technicians.

I reached out to Home Depot online.   They paired me up with a technician but when I looked at the website, I saw that they did not specialize in boilers.    So I knew they would not be able to assist.   Home Depot said the technician would reach out to schedule something but they never did.   They probably noted that I wanted to replace a boiler since I did explicitly say boiler and chose not to waste their time or mine.

In the meantime I never received a quote from Company #1 as promised.    We were stuck on what to do.   I thought of reaching back to Company #1 but I'm not a beggar and the guy promised he would mail an estimate.

The temperature outside slightly warmed up past the weekend which helped the inside temps a little bit but it was still cold inside.

We had our Church board meeting on Monday.   Dom came on camera and pleaded with the board for help in finding someone for us.   The Church has had a couple folks come over to repair their furnace in the past and suggested them to us as possibilities.   I wasn't sure if either of them did boiler work.

One of them right off the bat I knew would not come to our neighborhood.   Dom reached out to that one by email and they never responded.   The second outfit was closer to our neighborhood and I figured they may check it out, assuming they did boilers.   I called them Tuesday morning and got confirmation that they do work with boilers.

I scheduled a technician from Company #2 to come out yesterday (2/11).   I directed him to the basement but had to leave because I had a customer call.    Dom was downstairs so he was able to stay with the technician.

As I was on my call, I started hearing some noises from the basement.   I was thinking, is he actually attempting to repair the boiler?   I sent Dom a quick text message and he confirmed that the technician mentioned replacing a part in the boiler.   I was elated.

In the end he mentioned having to replace the thermocouple, which is a sensor that tells the boiler if the flame is on.   The cost of the repair including labor was $274.   The tech from Company #2 also said that the boiler was worth saving as the Crane Sunnyday was made to last a long time (clearly as ours is over 70 years old).

$274 is much much better than financing over $12,000 (and I assume I would've had to make a down payment as well).   I'm guessing Company #1 didn't bother with sending an estimate because they knew I would either beg them to come do the work or find someone that would do it cheaper.   I will say I even contemplated waiting till Spring or Summer to replace the boiler thinking it may be cheaper.

But in the end things worked out.  The house is warm again.  I may still be able to pay off the mortgage this year after all.   Won't he do it!!

The Heat Is Off

 It's funny how just when you think things are bad life decides to make things worse.    Yesterday morning started out normal with me slowly waking out of bed around 4am.     I felt warm at first which was good but as I made my way downstairs things took a chilly turn.     It wasn't long before I got confirmation from Dom that the radiator next to him was cold.   That woke me up completely.

I went up to the thermostat and the room temp was 54 degrees, two degrees lower than was set.   As a side rant some may wonder why our thermostat is set to a low 56 degrees.   The location of the thermostat is in our chilly hallway.   We have to keep it that low to keep the heat from barreling out of control, though it really doesn't work to resolve that.    Another side rant comes in the form of our Nipsco bill which was $486 last month and now $516.    I hate Nipsco with the same intensity that I used to hate Comcast so long ago.   I'm not the only one.

So the thermostat had a status that the heat was on but with the temps falling in the house I knew that was a lie.  I confirmed that the radiator in the bathroom was also cold.    I went downstairs and found that our old Crane Sunnyday boiler which had to have been installed sometime in the 1950's or 1960's was making a whirring noise and water was slowly leaking out of one of the pipes.

When we purchased our home we knew that the boiler was on borrowed time.   It held in there for a little over 10 years so that was an accomplishment.    But the timing of its demise could not be worse.   I'm already hurting from covering all of Dom's doll pre-orders since he's not working.    The money I had saved a few years ago has dwindled to below half of what I used to have.   My credit card bills have skyrocketed thanks to Dom's crap and I'm on the edge of having to pay interest fees again for the first time since 2023.

I've been working so hard to try and obtain financial freedom but having to pay for a new boiler potentially will be an additional setback.   I've been scraping the barrel to try and pay extra on my monthly mortgage which I'm so close to paying off.   I'll still try to give something extra but it may not be as much as I'd like to give.

To top it off the place that I called that potentially may be able to repair the boiler (which given the age I don't know if it can be saved) won't be available to look at until Thursday afternoon, a full two and a half days from when it died.   I was told by the person who recommended the place to tell them I live in the good part of our city (otherwise they may not come).   I'm guessing at best if it's a repair that can save the radiator, I may have to pay at least $1000 though worse case scenario, I may have to pay between $3000 - $5000 for a new boiler.    And of course they charge a service fee just for coming to check it out.    It's such a racket.

So needless to say I'm not a happy camper.    We're managing to hang in there with a few space heaters that are turned on from time to time and keeping the french doors to our living room closed to try to minimize the draft from the hallway.   But man is this going to hurt me financially.    At least I can escape to the office today to warm up.   Thankfully too our old water heater is hanging on so at least we have hot water.

Low Fence Attack

 Yesterday I received a cryptic call from Dom as I was arriving home from work.    He told me that I needed to check the low fence in the back alley.    He wouldn't tell me what was wrong.   Come to find out, part of our fence was ripped from the ground and barely hanging on to the rest of the fence.   The area of fence ripped was located just at the edge of our property right next to our neighbor's fence which was undamaged.   It wasn't connected to our neighbor's fence since they have a tall wooden fence.

I couldn't understand how it could happen.   Tuesday is our garbage day and our garbage was picked up as normal.   I didn't see any tire tracks by the fence and I couldn't make out any footprints even though we just got a fresh batch of snow on the ground.   The only marks were around the garbage container showing where the container stood and further along the right-of-way were tire tracks from the vehicles that traverse the back alley.

Dom unfortunately didn't hear any noises coming from that area and our next door neighbor has a camera in their back wooden fence and it didn't capture anything.    We had a camera in our back area installed after we had our garbage can stolen but our WI-FI has issues in the winter reaching beyond our home so it wasn't in place.   I was planning to get a WI-FI extender to plug in the garage but hadn't done so.   I will definitely need to do that now so I can add my camera back.

We suspect either the garbage truck or a snow plow may have caused the damage.   But there were no tire tracks near the fence.    Dom discovered it when he went to pick up the garbage container.   The container itself was standing in its usual place.   I couldn't see any damages or scratches on the container itself.

As it stands we have no proof of what caused our low fence to be pulled from the ground.   I do plan to reach out to two of our other neighbors in the perimeter to see if they saw anything.  I'm not holding out any hope but it doesn't hurt to try.   I don't want to repeat the mistake of not talking to our neighbors when our home was robbed in 2016.   Otherwise I'm not sure what we can do.   I could file a police report and a claim to the city but without proof, the city would decline our case and not cover the cost of repair.   It's just another day in paradise...LOL.