As you may our may not know (if you're a new reader - do I even have those... 😆 ), Dom has a huge collection of vintage dolls from various genres. He has Barbies. Gene Marshall's, Poppy Parker, and many celebrity dolls like Elizabeth Taylor, Mariah Carey, and RuPaul just to name a few.
We currently live in a 4 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath home with a basement and almost every inch of the house, except for the kitchen and bathrooms have some kind of doll presence. When we first moved here, he insisted that the largest bedroom be dedicated as his personal doll room. That room has wall-to-floor dolls everywhere. They quickly spread to the other two rooms in the upstairs area with our main bedroom also surrounded by dolls and all their accessories. Even the hallways are full of boxes filled with dolls and more accessories. And as if he doesn't have enough, he continues to order new dolls to add to his collection.
It's enough to make me go batty. I never dreamed I would be living in a cluttered home. It was something I was hoping to avoid seeing how my parents ended up with a lot of clutter that we needed to go through when they were called by God. But alas when Dom and I eventually get our calling cards, folks will be going through our house and saying "oh my God, I can't believe how much stuff is here". A lot of it I'm sure will be hauled away or given away to other collectors. It's crazy to think about but the reality is none of us lives forever.
Part of the reason I've posted on this is that I've surprisingly not seen much written out there from the perspective of a non-collector living with someone that collects stuff. There's a special blessing I feel we deserve for living in this situation. Sadly to even try and get work done to the house, sometimes I have to move doll stuff around so the workers can do their job. I have second-hand embarrassment when someone come to our house to do work and they see how we're living. I can imagine what they tell their friends or significant others about our place after they're done. I'm hoping they've seen worse.
We're wanting to finally update our full size bed to an adjustable split bed so Dom will be comfortable sleeping upstairs again. Our current mattress is 31 years old and needs replacement badly. The main bedroom also has ceiling paneling that's falling apart. I've removed some of the pieces but unfortunately I can't remove the rest because there's so much junk in the room (majority of it dolls and accessories) that need to be moved. But part of the challenge is where can it be moved too. The hallway that connects the other room are extremely cluttered and the other two rooms are also full of stuff. I can see the ceiling above the paneling is peeling and would be in need of painting. Also the light fixture would have to change since it's panel lighting. Also the walls have some awful dated paneling that would need to be changed. The easiest thing would be to get some wallpaper to cover it up. There's also a hole in the upper corner of ceiling where a plug that I have no idea what it's for (but it may be for something in the attic) is sticking out from. We're thinking we could put crown molding possibly to try and cover that up. But to do all this the stuff in the room needs to go. But where would it go? We need a handyman likely to put the new lighting fixture (which Dom insists has to have a fan), paint the ceiling, install the wall paper, and put in the crown molding. To even get to that point where I can hire a handyman, we need to at least declutter the room.
Dom unfortunately isn't doing well health-wise so his energy is not great to provide any assistance so I'm stuck trying to move stuff but I don't know where to put stuff. We definitely need help.
It's part of the frustration I feel when I realize how we're living. I love Dom but I told myself if something were to happen to him first and I somehow met someone else, that person cannot be a collector (unless it's a collection that's small enough to fit in one room). There's a couple other things that person can't be either but that's neither here or there.
Dom has a doll friend in the west coast that was in a long-term relationship with a non-collector. They broke up last year and there wasn't a reason given. Part of me wondered if the non-collector got tired of dealing with the doll friend's collection and the constant need to buy more and more crap (to me) and decided to call it quits. I wasn't friends with the non-collector so I'll never know. But I wish I could talk to him and get the 411 on how he felt living with a collector.
I feel like we non-collectors need our own support group where we can vent about our situations. Are there any groups out there? I can't be the only one that's frustrated how living with a collector affects them not just with the accumulation of stuff but financially as well. I'm having to pay for all of Dom's stuff now and it has me worried. If I were to lose my job, what would we do? I'm the only one who worries about that. Thankfully I am more of a saver so I've been doing everything in my power to try and improve our finances despite living with a spending collector.
I remember back in 2017 when we were 2 1/2 years into dating and I found out that June that I was being let go by the end of September, I was telling Dom then that we need to try and not spend as much since I was going to lose my job in the next couple months and I didn't know how long it would take to get another one. But that went in one ear and out the other. He didn't slow up on his doll purchases. At least he did have a job then. But it made me sick to see how almost his whole check would go to buying doll stuff.
I probably should've ran then. Dom claims he tried to warn me. I guess the signs were there but I guess I put the blinders on in that regards. I loved Dom's other qualities more than I hated the few things that irked. At the end of the day I do love Dom and he is a good person at heart.
Hopefully we can get this bedroom remodel going this year. Stay tuned.