Just Another Sad Dom Song

 Our joint account wound up getting hacked last Thursday.   I put an alert for Centier to send me an alert if the joint account balance falls below $120.   I've had it go off several times since I've set it up.    But I was peeved when the alert came out last Thursday.   I was almost home from work when it came.   I was expecting my balance to be over $600 since I transferred some cash over in anticipation of paying the mortgage which was due the next day.

I was thinking the worst of Dom not believing he spent over $500 for something.   I asked Dom what was going on but he said he only spent $70.    I decided to log in and check out the transactions to see if my transfer came through.   I confirmed that it did indeed come through but so did two fraudulent entries, one for $250 and another for $400.   The entries were from something identified as Gemini which we later learned was supposedly crypto transactions.

I immediately called the bank who of course had to speak to Dom since the transactions came from his card.   We had a similar incident happen less than a year ago.   What annoys me is that Dom makes so many purchases related to his doll hobby.   It's likely one of the sites he went to may not be 100% secure.  I have a hard time making heads or tails of his purchases.   

At the end of the day it's his hobby.   But I wish he didn't spend almost his whole paycheck on it, which right now is nothing.   He seems to have given up on finding anything.   He did apply for unemployment but I sill question if they would pay him or not.   He mentioned it would be $300 something though I'm not clear if it's every week or every other week.   I believe I was collecting a paycheck once every two weeks for only about $300 - $400.    

We would have to go to the bank to get the disputed transactions removed from our account.   We did that this past Saturday even though it doesn't come off right away.   We also both decided to get new bank cards.   I really didn't need to get one since I only use my card to deposit cash at the ATM whenever Dom gets the balance below $120.

 I checked today to see if the Gemini balances were credited to our account and it's still not.  The saving grace is that I deposited an extra $600 for Friday that originally was supposed to be the extra payment but wound up being my primary mortgage payment.   Otherwise we would've been late for the mortgage.

I have to wait for the fraudulent payments to be cleared out so I can get the original $600 back so I can then put an extra payment on the mortgage like I had originally planned.

So when looking to see if the transactions were removed, wouldn't you know Dom is already using the new debit card for doll purchases.   Some things will never change but I can't believe that he's still buying frivolous stuff when he's not collecting income.   I can see it now, his unemployment will be spent on dolls and maybe a few groceries...LOL

I said it before but choose your mate wisely.   They'll either work to help build things up or they'll try to bring you down with them.   I do love Dom despite his ways but if I knew I'd be dealing with this drama,  I may have had second thoughts.   The saving grace with Dom is that he's a good person with a good heart.   I still wish he picked up some financial sense along the way, though.   But I'll have to be that person for both of us.

I know I've complained about it before.   I felt awful because I even complained to my boss briefly about it in our one-on-one but then felt bad.   I guess I needed an outlet.   

Squid Pro Quo

 Netflix released a Korean series called The Squid Games on September 17, 2021.   The premise of the series is that there is a secret island where players who are extremely down on their luck (i.e. owing creditors millions of dollars or needing to cover expensive health care for an ailing child) are offered the opportunity of a lifetime to win up to 456 million dollars.   It's a million dollars for each player and in the end it only goes to the last man or woman standing.

The show itself wound up being one of the most watched and talked about series of 2021.  I myself was immediately hooked once I started watching.   I was vested in the stories of the various players and still remember the shock after that first game where folks were shot and killed if they did not successfully complete it.

I remember I was working at Amazon at the time which was in a way my rock bottom.  So the series resonated with me.  I remember the anguish I felt when favorite characters were killed and crazily enough the glee when unsavory players got their just dessert.

Netflix at the time didn't realize how big of a hit it would become.   They scrambled to make merch based off the series, including Halloween costumes wearing the uniforms of either the players or the guards, the latter of which was explored in more detail in the next season.    There really wasn't a second season planned either until the overwhelming response of the show.   That's why it took almost three years before the final season was released.

One of the items that was created was a collectible Squid Game Building Set from Mattel.    I knew nothing about this but found out about it from yours truly.   Dom knew of the series because I couldn't stop talking about it and other folks that he knew watched it.   However, I could never convince him to watch it for himself.   He's not big on watching violence on TV and Squid Games definitely has it share.

So Dom knowing how much I enjoyed the series decided to buy the set for me about three months back.   It comes with 1735 pieces (that are kind of like Lego blocks and other shapes) that you have to put together to rebuild the classic multi-colored hallways that the players and guards go up and down the stairs on.   There are two huge manuals that come with it that shows pictures of all the steps that need to be taken to put it together.   It even has some mechanical parts that you can wind to move the players and guards around.   It's something that will take some time to put together.

It's a pretty cool set and it was so sweet of Dom to think of me.   I wasn't thrilled though to find out that he spent $130 on it.   But Dom was so excited about it and he took pictures of the box and the various manuals and pieces that are divided into individual bagged sections.   The steps have all the pieces from a particular step that is needed and then the other pieces add on to the base.

So far I've completed 4 steps.   There are several dozen more steps to go.    But I'm taking pictures as I complete the sections and sharing them with Dom.   He ultimately wants to publish all the pics into his personal site.    So in a way it's like a project that we're working together on.   So maybe it's worth it after all.

School Haze

The 25-26 School year officially kicked off on the second week of August which was on 08/11.   The school system Dom worked at unfortunately has been playing games and Dom was not set up to select substitute jobs on the system.   So he hasn't been working for almost three weeks now.

Let me back up a bit to explain what led to this mess.   Back in April Dom sent an email to the administration of the school saying that he was looking into possibly becoming a sub teacher for the 25-26 school year.   Towards the end of the year, Dom thought about and changed direction and mentioned that he wanted to return as a teacher.   A member of the admin team which Dom clashed with in the past said that since he sent a letter to the admin expressing looking into being a sub teacher that they would consider the letter to be a letter of resignation and he would not be returning as a teacher.   Dom was livid.

He was weighing out his options all summer and decided that he would come back to the school as a sub.  So there was no preparation done by the admin to allow him to pick up sub positions and that is where we're at.

The first day of the new school year, Dom reached out to the principal and they talked about the letter.   Principal claimed to agree with Dom that the letter he sent was not a resignation letter.   He mentioned that the school board was having a meeting the next day.   The principal stated that during the board meeting they would discuss reinstating Dom as a teacher.

It just so happened that the board meetings are recorded on YouTube.   We both watched the video and there was no mention of Dom at all.   Nobody from the school reached back to Dom and he still isn't able to sign up for sub classes.

So he applied for another teaching position at a different school and he's been getting the run around from that place as well.   Supposedly they are "desperate" to fill the position.    He reached back to the admin of the new school a few days later and they said that the principal would need to schedule a time for the interview.

Dom's planning to head to the unemployment office today to see his options.   The thing is he wasn't fired from the job, they just chose not to set him up for subbing or reinstate him as a teacher.   So I'm not sure what the unemployment office will be able to do.

In the meantime Dom's had a bunch of his expensive doll orders coming in that I've had to cover.  It's been frustrating but I thank goodness that I'm able to (for now).   But he is really needing to stop doing anything else or actually sell some of what he has until the job situation is resolved.   Preferably he should stop even after getting a job and try to save more.    But I know that won't happen.

Thank goodness I'm not a huge spender and do not spend my whole paycheck.   If we both were spenders we'd be in trouble.    But it is nonetheless frustrating.

Fudge Covered Chicken

 Dom and I recently completed a road trip that started in Mackinaw Island, continued into Frankenmuth, and concluded in Detroit.   Dom did mention in the past that he's always wanted to visit Mackinaw Island and Frankenmuth.   So we decided to do just that.

I went back and forth particularly over which hotel to stay at in Mackinaw City.    It's cheaper staying off the island than on the island.    Mackinaw Island's Grand Hotel for example has rooms that at minimum set you back over $1200 a night.   Maybe if Blackberry stock ever gets its act together I'll splurge on staying there.   But I'm not there yet.

So I wound up booking a room at Clarion Hotel Beachfront in Mackinaw City.   The draw to the hotel was the indoor hot tub that some of the rooms offered.   Also the hotel is off the beach which boasted a ocean side view.

The pictures made the place look appealing but the reviews did not.   Of course I didn't see all the reviews until after I booked it.   I chatted with my sister Trina who reminded me of how the hot tub jets would get grimy and lots of sludge came out of it.   She suggested I get some kind of hot tub cleaner to clean the tub prior to using it.  I tried to get a refund but it was non-refundable so I was stuck.

I took 07/18, 07/19, and 07/21 off from work to accommodate the trip.   Dom and I left Thursday mid-morning and made our way to Mackinaw City which was almost 6 hours away.   On Interstate I-196 we hit bridge construction after bridge construction.   At each point, lane travel was reduced from two lanes to one.   Of course a bunch of idiots decided to cut near the merge point.   I hate people.

Our route took us to a couple of rural back roads.   Dom was disappointed he didn't see any cows along the way though there were plenty of horses.   We finally arrived at the hotel and I quickly checked in.  Parking near our hotel building was very tight.   I managed to find one spot relatively near the building we were staying at.

We thankfully were staying on the 1st floor and I was glad there was a ramp since Dom has mobility issues now.   The room was very dated (the decor was from the 70's) and it had a very musty smell.   But we did have the ocean view.   We opened the screen door and directly by us was the beach.   We kept the door open a little bit to try and get the musty smell out.   It never really went away.

The hot tub was right next to the bed.   Originally Dom and I talked about just soaking our feet in the tub but it did not look particularly inviting.    Thankfully it was drained at least.   Also I didn't see any bugs which was a relief.

We had a lackluster dinner at a combo O'Reilly Irish Pub/Dixie Saloon.   The food was expensive and lacking in quantity and taste.   There was a family at the bar with babies and kids crying.   This is at the bar where they serve alcoholic drinks.   Needless to say if we ever make it back to Mackinaw City, we won't be going there again.

Afterwards I dropped Dom back to the hotel room while I ventured off to Mackinaw City's local casino.  It's a small casino called Odawa Casino.   There may have been 500 games in all.    It was less than a mile from the hotel so that was nice.   I didn't win any jackpots but I did like that they had some older Aristocrat games that I can't find anymore.    It was a good distraction at least.

Friday morning we just ate some snacks that we packed for our trip and then made our way to Shepler's Ferry which would take us to the island.    We just missed the current shuttle that was taking folks from the parking lot to the ship.   But it was only fifteen minutes more till the next shuttle arrived.

The ship itself had two levels, one on top and the other below.   We opted for the lower level and had our own row right at the front of the ship.   It was a quick 20 minute ride to the island.

We slowly made our way around the island, checking out random shops along the way.  I spied at least 4 different fudge shops.   Mackinaw is famous for their fudge so I knew I would have to get some and get extra for my sisters.

Dom was holding his own.  It was a bit of a walk around the island but we eventually made our way to the Grand Hotel.   It's a $12 fee per person to go into the hotel itself but they reduce the cost of the buffet by that amount.   The hotel is amazing.   There's really no words.   The buffet was excellent as well.   It was $65 per person.   Interestingly enough they're currently having a sale if you book your stay for 2026 early.   Rooms were going for $440 a night which is a huge discount from the $1200 a night.   You would have to stay in May or June when the weather may not be as nice.    Maybe it's something I'll consider for 2027.

Dom really did love the island.   He even kept saying he wouldn't mind moving there.   

We timed it pretty good for the lunch buffet since it opened at noon and we got there at 11:45 AM.   There was a lady by the door that was part of some other group that was hosting an event there.   She kept talking like she was in charge.   Another group of ladies came in as well.   Dom earlier happened to take a picture of the ladies.    We all greeted each other once more.

So they took off, unbeknownst to us, that we had to register for the brunch.    The other lady that was by the door made a mention that we may have to register.    Dom stayed at a bench while I walked by the registration which there was a small line now.   The three ladies were ahead in the line and I couldn't help but give them the side eye.     One of them b's could've said something to us.   But it was okay.    Dom and I got a great seat by the windows and we were there early enough to enjoy the buffet.

Afterwards we walked around the outside of the hotel and then we had to make our way back to where the ship docks were.   Before going there I stopped at a couple shops to get some fudge and soap.    At one of the gift shops I spied some lilac soap that smelled nice.   Apparently lilacs is a thing in Mackinaw.   

I purchased a couple soaps and a holder for ourselves.   As I was waiting at the register, I spied this hot beefy guy that was in the shop with his girlfriend/wife.    He stretched briefly and raised his massive arms.   While doing so I couldn't help but notice his sexy belly.   It briefly reminded me of a random memory I had when I was 12 or 13 and I went to Mackinaw with my grandma and our church congregation.    I remember I was playing frisbee with a couple folks.   I remember having the frisbee thrown at me and it flying over my head and landing further away.    Hemingway when I ran to get it, this sexy beefy shirtless bear picked it up and he nicely handed it to me.    It was then that I cemented my attraction to bearish guys.   Obviously I was 12 or 13 at the time so nothing was going to happen there.   But the thought made me feel things inside...LOL.   

So yeah back to present time, I was admiring the beefy guy nearby.   The cashier came out eventually and I paid for my items.    As I  was leaving, he and I exchanged glances.   If only...LOL.    But it was a nice moment.  I shared the experience with Dom who got a good chuckle out of it.

I wound up stopping at two different fudge places to get fudge for my sisters and their respective spouses.    It was then time to make our way back to the ship.    We were back in Mackinaw City and then on the road to our next stop Frankenmuth.

If we do go back again, I would probably stay at St. Ignace, which is another city off the island.  I've read that the hotels are nicer there.   I believe they even have a casino as well...LOL.

So the next hotel we stayed at was the worst of the three.   It was a Baymont in Bridgeport/Frankenmuth.    We noticed how ghetto the clientele and some of the hotel staff were.   Thankfully at least we had a room with a higher toilet seat which made it easier for Dom to get in and out of.    Next door to the hotel was a Cracker Barrel.    Dom was definitely feeling the walk from earlier and wasn't up to venturing out.   It was probably for the best since I wasn't really hungry.   Cracker Barrel was okay.

Dom was still tired the next morning when we made our way to Frankenmuth.    I really wanted us to try the chicken and suggested a place to get a light pastry to tide us over till lunch.   Dom vetoed the idea though and wanted a bigger breakfast.     We wound up going to a pizzeria that also serves breakfast called T'Dubs.   I ordered an omelet with hash browns and was disappointed that the omelet was burnt in some places and the hash browns were not memorable.    Dom was tired and just wanted to stop whereever so I went along with it.

We did see the clock show at Frankenmuth Cheese Haus and he found some blackberry jam to purchase while I bought a Dubai Chocolate bar.    It was my first time buying a Dubai Chocolate bar which is all the rage on Tik Tok.   It was $17.99 bar called V-gift Pistachio.   I did enjoy the crunch and taste of the chocolate.   But it's something I would probably buy sporadically.  

Afterwards we drove a mile to the Bronner's Christmas world.   The shop sold everything Christmas.   It was a sensory overload.   It was good to experience it once I guess.    Dom wasn't overly impressed.  

Dom did ask me if I wanted to go back and get some of the famous German chicken to go that we could have at the hotel.   I thought about it but I wasn't feeling having my car smell like chicken for several days and then eating cold chicken later.     The moment had passed. 

We drove another hour and some change to our final hotel, the Hampton Inn in Madison Heights, MI.   This one wound up being the best one of the three, with the only annoying thing being our room door bouncing back and making noises every time someone slammed the stairway door which was next to our room.    I wound up putting my bag next to the door which helped reduce the noise.

Dom was not wanting to go anywhere, opting to remain in the room.   I picked up dinner at the sports bar called Twin Peaks.   Apparently the attire of the women working there is similar to Hooter's where their boobs and butts stuck out in skimpy uniforms.   I ordered some wings and a burger for Dom which we both enjoyed.

I later went to the nearby Meijer's to get some more water, plain donuts, small salads, and a Cherry Garcia ice-cream to enjoy in the room.

Sunday morning we checked out and then I drove to Trina's place and then Tasha's.   It was good for Dom to see them since it was about three or four years since he's been.    Tasha's in-laws were in town due to Abe's Grandmother passing away at 107.   I got to interact with them and deal with some crazy but that's family for you.   

We headed back home Sunday evening.   I put about 1000 miles on my car between the various stops.   It was a pretty good trip and I'm glad Dom finally crossed two more cities off his bucket list.   

Sunday Follies

 Dom as of late has not had any energy to do anything outside of staying at home.  His neuropathy has been pretty bad and it takes all his energy just to get upstairs and shower and get dressed.   He usually needs my assistance to put his socks and shoes on.   But Dom had a rare moment this past Sunday where he actually wanted to get out of the house.   He even suggested us going to the casino together where I can play some slots while he walks around the casino.

There was one catch though.   Dom does not believe in me losing money and is of the school that if I'm even up $10 I should leave.   I keep telling him that there is no guarantees of winning.   I would say 95% of my casino trips are ones where I've donated (nicer way of saying I lost money...LOL) to keep the casino's electric bills paid.   If I'm honest, it's closer to 99%.   Leaving with a decent sum of money is a rare thing and days like I had last Thanksgiving is extra rare.

It's rare that Dom accompanies me to the casino.   When he does, we're usually out of the casino in less than 30 minutes since he's bored once he makes his lap around the casino.   But I noticed an interesting thing when Dom goes with me.   It seems that my odds of leaving a winner increases.  Yesterday was no exception.   We went to the Four Winds Casino in New Buffalo, MI.   Pretty much these days it's the only casino I go to (mostly because the Indiana casinos are smoke filled and the Illinois casinos are money pits).   Plus Dom likes the layout of Four Winds better.

The first machine I went to called Brazil I was playing on $40 free play on.  I managed to get two bonus games on the machine and scored a quick $180 win on.   I moved around to a Wings Over Olympus game.   I have not had any luck triggering the bonus on that game at all in the last couple years.   I'm not sure why this time would be any different but I decided to give it a try.

Dom found me while I was playing machine #2.   At the time I was up $160.   I knew the minute he found out I was up he'd want to leave.   He didn't disappoint.   I was able to play it down to $150 without scoring a significant hit.   It was then time to go.   Dom is like my conscious sitting on top of my shoulder telling me it's time to go.

I will say I do not enjoy my hobby as much when he's with me but I looked at the bigger picture being grateful that he wanted to go out.    He wanted to check out the beach and possibly get a walk in.  We weren't able to find free parking so we kept on going.

We were hungry and wound up stopping at Shoreline Brewery & Restaurant in Michigan City, IN for a late lunch.   I had an interesting moment when getting seated where I saw a gay couple sitting at a high table.   I caught one of the guys checking me out and then having the other guy check me out.   That guy didn't seem thrilled that his guy was looking at other guys and gave me a nasty look.   The two left soon after Dom and I were both seated.   Sadly Dom was oblivious to what was happening when I tried explaining.   Nonetheless it's nice to know that I still can occasionally turn heads.   I also had an encounter with another guy when I accidentally opened the door while he was coming out.   He was sadly straight...LOL.

We had a good dinner though the winner for both of us were their onion rings.   The batter they use on them is very good and crunchy.   It's quite thick and doesn't easily fall apart which is a plus.   Dom wanted an extra order which we took to go.   

Overall it was a good day.  I was glad that Dom wanted to venture out.    He wound up being tuckered out once we got home and napped the rest of the day away.    I may have drifted in and out as well.    It's so much fun getting old.

Moore Than Alright

 

Dom and I had a great time attending Chante Moore's concert in Joliet's Rialto Square Theatre.   The inside of the theatre itself was very beautiful with interior architecture that reminds you of what you'd see in Italy or Spain.   We had good seats near the front of the stage which allowed me to take some great pictures.   Dom hadn't heard much about Chante before even though I have played some of her stuff here and there over the years.   But he was thoroughly impressed and enjoyed the performance.   

Chante puts on a great show and her band also did their thing as at various points in the show as she gave her bandmates a chance to shine.   Chante sang a lot of her hits from her first two CDs and others from her other CDs (8 in total).   She also sang a couple songs from her forthcoming album which will be her 9th.   She also has two additional albums that she did with her ex Kenny Lattimore.

There was one song I prayed that she wouldn't sing called Bitter off of what I call her "attempt at being more urban" project Exposed.   I winced everytime she sang the N-word in her recording of the song.    But Chante knows most of her audience and did sing it.   But instead of saying the offending word, she had the audience sing it.   I couldn't bring myself to sing that but I was singing along to everything else she performed.   She also did snippets of other artists songs like Tevin Campbell's Can We Talk, Quincy Jones In The Garden, and El Debarge's All This Love among other songs.   Overall we really did enjoy the show.

The journey getting there was interesting as well.   Since the show was in Joliet, which was about an hour and some change from us, we decided that we would eat something beforehand.    Dom of course had a hankering for Chinese so to appease him I tried to find some places along the way that served Chinese.   I looked primarily in Matteson, IL since our route was mostly along Lincoln Highway.   

I found a place but surprisingly Dom turned it down after not liking how the food looked in pics.   So we decided just to do a random stop (which I knew would mean a fast food place but it was alright).   Dom spied a Subway and we decided to stop there.

We ordered our subs, I did a 6-inch and the bread looked like it was smaller than that.   Dom opted for the foot-long.   We decided to eat inside the restaurant.   Fifteen minutes into eating this "homeless" guy came in begging for change.   Dom immediately went into attack mode but I foolishly thought I would give him a dollar.    I didn't have anything but a $5 but of course the guy was like I have change.   So he puts change on the table and after I give him the $5 he proceeds to take the change back and saying that he's homeless.  

All I could do was laugh and say 'ok, you got me' as he proceeded to walk away.   I resigned myself to being conned but treating it as my "good deed" for the day.   Dom did try to stop it but I had to be foolish.  I saw the Indian folks in the restaurant looking in at us from the back area.    They clearly had that character come in before.   We also couldn't help but notice they had a bunch of chairs strategically placed to block direct access to the restroom.  I'm sure they've had issues before with non-paying customers wanting to use the restroom.   Needless to say that is the experience of doing and patronizing business in the hood.  

It also reminded me of how blessed I am.  I don't know if I would survive out here in these streets hustling to try to make a buck.   I am blessed that I managed to hold a job and was able to save and find an affordable place to live.  Aside from my blood pressure, my health is fine.   My old car is still running fine.  I don't take any of that for granted.

As we drove on, I was annoyed as I saw other places that we could've stopped at to eat that would've been better.   But the Subway did provide sustenance so it was alright.

Parking itself was another issue.   It was mostly street parking with a few garages sprinkled in.   After circling the streets a couple times, I decided to park at the local casino Harrah's garage.   I did freak out when walking out of the garage as I saw a sign mentioning towing cars away that weren't patronizing the casino.   But Dom told me it'll be alright.   I did feel bad because Dom and I had to walk a few blocks to get to the theatre and Dom isn't able to walk as quickly.   I did wind up walking back to get my car (which thankfully was still safely parked in the garage) and resisted the temptation to go to the casino.   I then picked him up from outside the theatre.

We decided to visit the IKEA in Bolingbrook the next morning so we stayed at a local hotel in Bolingbrook for the night.    I got us a handicap room so we had a higher toilet seat and wider hallways to make it easier for him to navigate around.

The next morning I went to pick us up some continental breakfast to enjoy in the room.   I got us some Belgian waffles and a banana which tided us over till we left for IKEA which was 15 minutes away.

Dom saw a Michael's craft shop in the same area as IKEA so of course we had to stop there first.   Well Dom did and I was along for the ride...LOL.   We then made it to the IKEA just after 10am.   There weren't too many folks thankfully as we went through the aisles and ultimately spending just a little over $200 on various knick knacks and snacks.   We even stopped for some Swedish meatballs and mixed veggies for lunch in their cafeteria.

We then made our way back home but not before I made a quick stop at a Sunrise Health store in Lansing, IL to get Ice Cream For Bears, a natural brand of ice cream that is only sold in a few select stores.    Then we made it home.   

Thankfully I have a day off from work for the Memorial holiday so that gives me one more day to relax before getting back to the work grind.

Future Mini E

 Sometimes I find myself reflecting on my life and I feel sad.   Don't get me wrong.   I have lived a great life with a mostly good career, decent finances, plenty of travel and adventures, and I did later find love with Dom.   But the one thing I did not have were children of my own.   A part of me wanted to experience the ups and downs of fatherhood and hope that I did things right with my kids.   Dom and I actually expressed how we wished we had met 20 years or so back.   He himself wanted to have a family but didn't have anyone to have it with.   But would we have been right for each other that time?    We'll never know.   But I do feel that we were meant to be in each other's lives one way or another.  I shudder to think how our lives would've been had we not met.

2002 was around the time I began thinking of kids.   Part of that was my guilt of being the only son and not having a male child to carry on the family name.   But at that time too I was just beginning to figure things out about my sexuality.   I remember doing research on different surrogacy programs and hearing about one in India that for $20K upfront and an additional $20K afterwards, provided an Indian surrogate who would carry your baby in her womb and then after the baby is born, you would have to go through the process of bringing your child back into U.S. soil.     One of the interesting (and prejudicial after I gave it more thought) options they had was that for an extra fee, you could opt for a Caucasian lady surrogate.   Heaven forbid a white person wants to have a Indian lady carrying their fetus.

The cost pretty much stopped me from going that route.   Plus I didn't have a partner at that time so I would have been the sole parent.   Had I still lived in the Detroit area, I may have thought about a bit more as I would've had my family nearby (though I'm sure my parents especially would have a thing to say about that option...*LOL*).  As an aside, I confirmed last year that my current company offers money assistance for surrogacy support if a person wants to have a child.    If only that was a thing 23 years ago when I looked at the surrogacy program.    Who knows if I would've had an adult child now?   Obviously now I'm past the point where I want to have the responsibility of caring for a child.   If I were to start now, my future E would be born in February 2026 and by the time they turned 18, I would be 71 or 72 years old (God willing).

The second time I recalled wanting to have a child was when I was dating Rock back in 2006.   Rock and I of course had other issues but I did discuss the possibility with him.   Rock was in his early 40's and in his mind he thought it was too late to entertain the thought of having kids.   That probably was a good thing too since we wound up breaking up in 2008.

I didn't give up on the dream entirely after that hoping that perhaps in a couple years I would find a like minded individual.   That never did happen.   I met Dom in September 2014 and when we discussed kids he told me that he was not looking to start a family as he was too old (early 50's...where I am now).   I decided that I may not find the right person and just see where things took us.   Almost eleven years later, it took us to living together (2016) and marriage (2022).

I don't regret it though once in a blue moon, I think of what could've been.   Once my sisters and I leave this world, our specific branch will officially end.    But obviously it won't be completely gone as my parents' siblings had kids who had their own kids (and I'm sure some of those kids may have a kid...LOL).   So barring the end of the world, the family name will live on.

But it got me thinking that I wanted to reach out to Sally and no_the_game (who I haven't chatted with in a while) to see if I could gift the children in their lives with a small investment in some stocks or ETFs that will hopefully appreciate in price by the time they grow up.    Sally is the proud grand-aunt of three beautiful grand-nieces and no_the_game has a handsome son that's about to turn 11.   It would just be a way of leaving a small legacy and perhaps by the time they're adults, the shares could turn into a car fund or help pay for groceries.   I would not expect anything in return.   But I think it would be a nice thing to do.   I'll have to save up some cash but I think it'll be a good thing.

To my future Mini E, I'm sorry that I didn't get to meet you in this lifetime.    But perhaps as Erykah Badu would say, maybe I'll see you Next Lifetime.

The Third

 Dom completed part one of his carpal tunnel surgery last Wednesday on his left hand.   The hospital needed to reach out to him prior to confirm on his medications and previous health conditions.    Since he works at school (when he goes), he's not able to answer his phone.   So I had to make time to take the calls in the midst of my work fun.

I felt horrible because I wasn't able to remember every detail of the different surgeries he had and why.  I mistakenly said he had a gall bladder removed when it was actually his appendix.   He also had the turp for his enlarged prostate which led to him post-surgery having blood clots that affected his breathing.   I needed to remember all this and felt frustrated when it didn't come to me right away.   I had remembered the clotting but forgot that happened because of the enlarged prostate surgery.

One of the things I loved about my Mom was her uncanny ability to remember every medication and surgery that my Dad had over the years.   She did this even through dealing with her own health issues with Parkinson's.   I was not measuring up at all.   I love Dom because he was so forgiving of me.

Dom and I started discussing the possibility of having a "younger guy" be part of our family in anticipation of myself eventually having more health issues.   Dom worries he wouldn't be able to take care of me like I have for him.  Of course it would have to be the right person who is there for the correct reasons.   I worry about someone trying to take advantage of the situation.   It would be nice if they exclusively were with us.  If sex is on the table I wonder if Dom would watch us or even participate.    As I've mentioned before, Dom and I haven't had sex in almost eight years.

Where would we find this person?   Are there websites that cater to this kind of arrangement?   I already have a regular thing with Anthony.   But Anthony is around Dom's age and he has his own health issues here and there so he wouldn't be ideal.  Midas falls in the same scenario as Anthony.   He's two years younger than Dom.

Doug would be ideal.  He's a year or two younger than me.  But unfortunately he's shown that he is not dependable at all.    It's going on four years since we last met up.   The times I've tried to meet up with him he claims to be so busy.    Dom and I had some rearranging we wanted to do in the house.  I tried to see if Doug could come over and help with that and by proxy introduce him to Dom.   But he did not commit to a time to do this so my trust in him is broken.    Another strike is that he has a dog and we're not dog people.   

Maxwell, the younger black guy that I met a couple years ago would be a potential.   But he moved to Indianapolis for a job.   So he's out.   But I haven't chatted with him in awhile.   I should message him to see how he's doing.

But is it fair to get a third just for the potential of having someone to be a caretaker?   Is it fair on that person?   Dom and I do not have family nearby as well so we're a bit isolated.    It's a sad situation to think about.   Plus if we get a third person and they live with us, our house needs to be decluttered in a big way so the third would have room for his stuff.  I have some things to get rid of but Dom has the majority of the crap in the house.   The sad thing is the house is pretty spacious with 4 bedrooms and 1 1/2 baths with a semi-finished basement.   But every inch of the house has junk in it.    How is that possible?

I just realized the irony of us talking about a potential third when I mentioned recently about a situation where I was considering being a potential third to another couple.  It does seem to be a more common discussion among gay couples these days.

Commissioned Out

 Dom has been missing a lot of work these days.    He's already been counting the days till his retirement.  As a high school math teacher, he's been complaining on the daily about misbehaving students who do not understand even the basic math equations.   He's been dealing with a lot of health issues as well which has caused him to missed days.   For the third or fourth school year in a row, he has maxed out on his allotted sick day time off so each time he misses a day now, he doesn't get paid for that day.   He's also started ordering more doll crap based on various shows like Wednesday (every company that makes a likeness of the Wednesday Adam doll, he has to order) and of course Wicked.   He's been pissing me off there because he's had me stay home on certain days because he doesn't want his packages staying out in the cold too long.   Of course I have to juggle my home days with my return to office mandate that dictates I have to be in the office 3 days a week.   It's so stupid since I can do my job at home but I need the paycheck especially since I'm responsible for the majority of the household bills and for both of our health insurance costs.   So I gotta play the game till they decide to lay me off or a better opportunity comes along.

So I'm home today for work because of more packages (I went to the office Monday & Wednesday so far and will go in tomorrow to make my 3 days).   However he wound up staying home too because he's been experiencing pain in his left shoulder and his hands continue to ache from carpal tunnel.   I would've went in to the office today but I woke up a little later and didn't feel like rushing to get out of the house.  I had already set up my makeshift office as well.

I hate that he's back to spending money unnecessarily (in my opinion),especially since he's not working full-time.   He keeps talking about slowing his spending and decluttering his collection.   I continue to feel frustrated seeing how cluttered our whole house is.    Every room is full of junk.   I just imagine if he didn't spend the little money he has on this stuff, we could've had the mortgage paid off by now.   Even if he gave $200 a month to put into the mortgage, that would quickly add up over time.   But I'm managing to pay the necessary bills each month and continue to pay off my credit card bills.   I was glad to keep my total credit card payments to just under $2000 this pay period.   $3000 is the goal I usually have (this includes gas, insurance, food, transportation toll fees, and other miscellaneous items) so I exceeded my goal.   Last pay period I was slightly over $3000 so that varies.  

Speaking of credit cards, he still doesn't know yet that I canceled his one card.   I will probably add him back again.   I was just extremely frustrated at that time how he used the card for a non-emergency expense and didn't bother to tell me.  

Dom was told he would need to have carpal tunnel surgery on both his hands to alleviate the pain he's experiencing.   He was hoping to push that off till June but he's thinking he may need it sooner.   He's been wearing hand braces at night to try and help ease the pain.    But it doesn't always help and he also is noticing weakness in his shoulder muscles. 

He also mentioned Tuesday that he had a kidney stone that caused him to not be able to pee initially.  He was going to head to the E.R. but luckily he was able to push the stone out.   I too may have had a small stone a few weeks back as I was experiencing weak urine flow.   But that has since passed.  The joy of being older, right?   We're continuing to push through this thing called life.   I just needed to vent again.

January 31, 2033

 I started my current job journey as a support engineer on January 31, 2022.   I already documented the journey it took me to get from analyst to picker to now an engineer.   Having the word 'Engineer' in my job title was one I never thought I would have.   There were many majors back in my college days (oh how I miss the 90's..well some of it...LOL) related to engineering like Electrical, Mechanical, and Civil Engineers.   I didn't phantom back then that offering technical support would be another form of engineering.

So the job is definitely stressful at times.   But I remain grateful that I was given the opportunity to prove myself.   It has afforded me the opportunity to get my financial life back on track and resume work towards my goal of financial independence.

I'll be celebrating 3 years at my present job today.   Hard to believe how fast time is flying by.  I'm nearer to the retirement finish line now as well.   I find myself thinking a lot more about retirement these days.   It doesn't help that Dom is targeting his retirement from being a teacher to be in August 2026.   He's been very vocal about it with the way kids act today.   On the daily he shares horror stories from his classroom.   Also school shootings continue to be a thing in this country.  He is ready like yesterday to get away from the madness.

I also have a lot of acquaintances that have recently retired and seem to be enjoying life.   It adds to my wanting to have that life as well.

With that said I have a date in mind for when I would like to retire.   That date is January 31, 2033.   I'll be 60 years old at the time.   That date assumes that I'm still alive (LOL big one there),  my mortgage will be paid off (still on target for June/July 2026 for that to happen), no major expenses left (though life throws a lot at you), I still have a job without interruption (i.e. layoffs), and that I have a nice healthy amount of cash saved.

I did have a stretch goal of retiring at 55 (January 31, 2028) but I feel that's not realistic.  I anticipate needing to get another car in the next year or so.   The way prices are on cars these days is a mess.   I watched one Youtube video that normalized a good car deal at $58K.    Granted it was a Ford-150 or something along those lines but paying over $30K for a car is insane to me.   That's like a mini-mortgage to me.

In addition to the car, there's a few things that need to be fixed/replaced in our old house.   We need windows replaced throughout the house for example.   We have an old radiator that thankfully is hanging on but at some point it'll need to be replaced.   Plus the radiators in a couple rooms are not working properly and would need to be fixed.  Insulation is needed in a couple of rooms that tend to stay cold.    We have old wiring that needs to be changed as well.   I'd love to change our flooring in the main rooms to be hardwood flooring and there's of course plenty of painting and refacing that needs to be done.   All of that will cost money.

In terms of home upkeep, I pretty much am the one financially responsible for 99.94% of it.  So I would have to hope I'm able to take care of a lot of it and have it paid off before my retirement date.

Of course I could work till the standard 67 years old (January 31, 2040) or heaven forbid 70 years old (January 31, 2043).   It's scary thinking that future is really not far away at all.   

Also who knows what our health situations will be like.   That factor can quickly ruin any plans that are made.   But at some point the trigger has to be pulled whether by your choice or forced (layoffs anyone).   So for now I'm manifesting into the universe that I will be officially retiring on January 31, 2033.   Mission accepted!

Almost A Wrap

 My trip to Detroit thankfully was uneventful.   I was Abe's Secret Santa.   He made it easy for me by requesting several baseball caps.   He's a cap person.    Trina wound up being my Secret Santa and she got me a three month subscription to Universal Yums.   They send out a monthly box with treats from a different country.   Dom discovered the company a few years back and we enjoyed a box or two from various countries.   The box actually arrived at my home on the 24th (guess it was good that I stayed home a day) and I decided to take it with me.   She also ordered Mariah Carey's 2020 autobiography that I had on my wish list.  I started reading a bit about Mariah's early life.   She's had it rough but she managed to use adversity to eventually make a name for herself.

Tasha brought over dinner for our Christmas meal that as always was delicious.   We spent the evening watching trashy, badly acted Tubi movies.   

Eugene and I hung out for a bit grabbing lunch at Sweetgreen restaurant, an organic outfit that serves environmentally sustainable meals.   After lunch we went shopping at Nordstrom's (well I did...LOL).  I picked up a new jacket for me and some shirts for Dom.

I decided to drive back home on Saturday after stopping by the cemetery to see Mama and Papa.   Trina, Tasha, and I shipped in to get a bed of flowers for their tombstone and also a wreath for our "Grandma" and hubby as well as "Grandma's Dad" who we knew as "Uncle".  I tried to look for "Uncle" where I thought he would be but had no luck finding him.

My Sunday was spent doing laundry in the morning and then a quick trip to Meijer's in the afternoon and a side trip to Chipolte's for our dinner.

I managed to irritate my nose this morning using the CPAP machine.   I wound up going to the office even though I wished I could've stayed home.  I found myself blowing my nose and sneezing all day.  Fun times.

My New Year's Eve is going to be a quiet one.  Dom and I will keep a low profile enjoying some steak and shrimp (well I will enjoy that).   The plan is to ring in the New Year watching one of the countdowns and praying the crazy folks don't shoot bullets at our house.

It's so hard to believe 2024 is coming to an end.   I will say that I am glad that I continued to blog about various events that have happened throughout the year.   With this post I'll have made 50 entries which is 10 more than I made in 2023.   The big highlight for me workwise was getting my promotion, which was my first promotion at a job since 2006.   Work has been nutty as usual but I'm pushing my way through it best way I know how.    I was happy that Dom and I managed to take a couple trips this year, one related to my work and the other related to his hobby.   It is nice that we were able to travel together and try to enjoy life.

For 2025 I do hope I continue to work towards paying off our mortgage.   At the same time I need to start thinking about getting another car.   I hate the thought of a car note (it's been nice not having one for a couple years) but I know Dom has a hard time getting into my Passat.   I'm thinking about the mini-SUV's like the Subaru Forester or the Mazda CX-5.    There's a few other crossover SUV's that I'm looking at as well.    I'm going to have to try to juggle that with getting the mortgage paid off.   I hate to replace one bill with another but I know it's about time to think about it.   I've been blessed that my Passat has been hanging in there since March 2014.    Cars are so expensive these days as well.   We shall see.

Perhaps my stock Blackberry may help me in achieving one or both of the financial goals.   They've had some good news in recent weeks that seems to have helped the stock recover some.    Their product QNX may finally be ready to start making the stock profitable again in 2025.    They plan on featuring QNX heavily at the upcoming Las Vegas held Consumer Electronic Show on January 7, 2025.   I'm very hopeful that things will be looking up there.

Here's to a happy, healthy 2025 for us even with the uncertainty of America's future.   

The Holiday Shuffle

 I was "roped" into driving to see Dom's Mom and family this past weekend.   I hoped Dom would drive but his minivan currently is in need of a thermostat replacement and he didn't want to risk the 4 hour round trip drive.   To be honest Dom scares me when he drives especially when he starts getting aggressive.  I do know it's in defense of the crazy drivers out there but he is constantly yelling and swinging his hands in frustration which gets me riled up.   I really wasn't feeling driving but I find it less stressful when I drive.    

On the flip side he freaks when I drive because he feels like I don't react quickly enough to cars breaking.   I'm aware of the other cars and do react in time but in his mind I cut it close.    What it comes down to is that neither of us are in control when the other person is driving and that is scary.   As much as I didn't relish driving since I'll be more driving in the near future, I felt it would be better if I did the driving.   

I caught a really bad cold last Wednesday as well.   Part of the issue could be that I'm not getting enough sleep as Dom reminded me.  I have been commuting to the Chicago office three days a week and typically I force myself to get up by 4am (alarm goes off at 3:50 am) and then I'm out the door before 6am so I can catch the Southshore train to get to downtown before 7:30am and in the office before 8am.   I then make every effort to leave the office by 3:30pm so I can catch the 4:05pm Southshore train that manages to get me home around 5pm.   I need to go to bed before 10pm but typically I go to bed or fall asleep watching TV after 11pm only to have to repeat the cycle (though for the days I work home I get to sleep an extra 2 hours if my bladder doesn't wake me up around 4 to pee...LOL).

My schedule has been rough on my body and of course I'm in my 50's.   That and the flip flopping weather has wreaked havoc on me and most likely led to my cold.

So I was recovering from my latest cold and didn't want to spread anything to his Mom who's currently battling cancer.   I was starting to feel better last Saturday when we originally was planning to visit but decided to just do a half day trip on Sunday.   I also decided to wear a mask while visiting.

Dom's sister Marie and her family including all the grandkids and great-grandkids were already at Dom Mom's house when we arrived.   For the most part the visit when well though the addition of the great-grandkids was taxing on Dom's Mom.   The great-grandkids were 7, 4, and 2.   For the most part they were behaved but they are a lot of energy.

Marie's husband and daughter bought back KFC for a late lunch.   After the family did some quick gift exchanges, their brood took off for another house and a "pizza" party leaving Dom and I to be alone with his Mom and Lexie (Dom's younger sister Marina's daughter - R.I.P.).  Marina's other daughter, Ava and her partner Ronnie were at work.   They both work retail at a small Mom and Pop store so have to work all kinds of hours.   I don't miss my retail-like days at Amazon.   At least I didn't have to deal with customers...LOL.

Dom's Mom calmed down a lot once the great-grandkids left.  She was stressing seeing them moving and hoping about.   Basically it was too much stimuli for her to handle.   They were well behaved for the most part but kids are kids.   It was much quieter once Marie's family left.

We stayed for another 2 hours before Dom and I headed home.   Before doing so we made a dinner stop at Chili's where we both ordered various combo meals that were filling.   I wanted to get a molten lava cake so ordered that to go.

So now I am prepping myself for the longer drive to Detroit.   I was originally planning on going today (12/24) but decided last night that I needed today to relax.   I worked from home yesterday but the new process the company is pushing on us in handling customer issues has been stressful.    In a nutshell they are turning my role (Tier 2) into a Tier 1 role.

As a Tier 2 engineer, cases that I received are either ones created previously by the customer or it was after they "chatted" with a Tier 1 engineer to get the additional details.   Tier 1 engineers typically "chats" live with the customer initially to get details of issues which if the Tier 1 is not able to resolve, gets a case created that gets passed to the Tier 2 engineer (me).    Now they are wanting us to "chat" with the customers as well in the hopes of getting issues resolved faster.   If I were a Tier 1 engineer, I admit I would be worried about my role.   Hell even as a Tier 2 I'm concerned.

As I mentioned previously, they have closed an office which resulted in a number of engineer roles being removed.   Plus the company has no plans to hire for additional engineers in 2025.   Again that's why I am trying so hard to focus on cutting costs in my home.   Then who knows how truly fucked things will get once Trump and his cronies get into office less than a month from now.   That's all the more reason to get my personal house (which includes Dom) in order.

So getting back to work, I just needed a day today to relax and recover before venturing out again to Detroit.   I now am planning to go on Christmas Day.   Thankfully the weather looks like it'll cooperate for the most part, including the typically risky weather locations of New Buffalo and Kalamazoo that I pass through.

I plan on staying till either Saturday or Sunday.   It'll likely be Saturday as I'll want to have Sunday to relax and prepare for my work reality next week.  I also will be working from Detroit on Friday the 27th.   I'm praying that it won't be too busy.   We shall see.   

Making The Cut

 A few years ago I decided to add Dom as an authorized user of one of my credit cards.   I originally did so because there was a conference in Indianapolis that he wanted to go to for his hobby but since he would arrive a couple days before I did, he needed to book the hotel room in his name.    

Dom has no credit card of his own and isn't the greatest manager of finances.   I wasn't sure adding him as an authorized user was such a great idea.    But I couldn't think of anything else I could do for him to be able to check-in to the hotel since I wasn't arriving till later.   I wasn't able to go with him since he was driving to Indy a few days before and I was working on those days.   The added benefit would be that assuming the card was kept current, it would help improve Dom's credit score.

So that's when I decided to add him as an authorized user.   He was able to check-in for the hotel since the charge was in his name.   All was right in the world.   Or was it?

A few months after that conference when looking at my credit card's bill, I noticed that he would make additional purchases with the card on other doll stuff which would total in excess sometimes of over $500.   He would never have the money to pay for these purchases so I would have to pay for them.

He would keep telling me, "please get after me to pay for this stuff".   But instead of budgeting for a plan to pay on things, his next paycheck would be spent on buying other doll items.   

When he would make these additional purchases, he would never bother to discuss them with me.   I would just get the surprise reveal of the purchase when checking my statement.

These surprises would keep showing up periodically throughout the years.   He would once in a blue moon give me $100 here or $200 there which was all he could afford because he would spend the rest on other doll items he had to have.   He would of course periodically buy groceries with his money as well but the majority of it was spent on his hobby.

I would get very pissed when seeing the bill but eventually I would wind up paying it.   It's either that or ruin my credit as well.   But I've finally realized that my covering the expense was continuing to enable him to make these purchases.   He has no financial sense at all to say hey maybe I should pay for the stuff I purchased already instead of buying more stuff.   

The beginning of the last straw came last month when I saw a $1700 purchase just before Thanksgiving for more stupid dolls from an enabler that he constantly complains about yet still does business with.   This was on top of a $400 charge he made due to an issue with his car (which was needed of course) but couldn't have happened at a worse time.

He again said keep after him to give me money to pay for the bill since he didn't want me having to purchase his items.   The joke was on me though since I have been paying for his items for years.   I myself reached the $3000 limit on my own purchases that I've made with separate cards.   I have been making every effort to pay off my cards every month especially after finally paying off all my debt.  But I wasn't able to pay it all off and cover my cards.   So I wound up paying half of that card and telling myself I would pay the rest of it this month assuming no more purchases.   This particular card that I made him authorized user is one that I do not use and only have a $10 recurring charge for a stupid membership to a gay site that I needed to cancel yesterday...LOL.

But alas the last straw came.   There were two more purchases from him on more doll stuff costing $600 more dollars.   I found this out while in Boston visiting Eugene and deciding to check on my statements.  Like all the other purchases before, he chose not to discuss it with me.  I was upset but had to keep my feelings in check as I did not want Eugene to know.   I've discussed Dom's lack of financial control before and didn't feel like rehashing as Eugene would give tough love of what I needed to do.

But I knew what I had to do.   The only way to try to curtail the spending would be to remove him as an authorized user.   This would effectively make his card null and void.   I did the deed but I do not plan on telling him that I did.   He will tell me himself when he tries to use it once more.

I hate doing this but it's for his own good.   His spending on his hobby has gotten out of control.   I have to be responsible for all the other household bills.   The only other bills he pays for is occasional groceries.   He doesn't even pay his hospital bills and I haven't either.   

He keeps talking about selling his dolls to try to get money but he never does.   Ironically I recently found out my part-time lover Anthony is also a lover of dolls.    He visited our house in early November and was in awe with the wall to floor dolls that Dom has spread in every room in the house except the kitchen and bathroom.   He said if Dom was ever interested in selling some, he'd be game.   So I may have to introduce them so he'll have someone he can sell stuff too.   I admit this revelation from Anthony annoyed then amused me.    Oh and he's also a school teacher though he's retired.

I sure do have a type when it comes to guys...LOL.

Funky, Funky CGMC

 Last Friday Dom and I took the train to downtown Chicago and continued our annual tradition of seeing the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus perform their Christmas show at Harris Theatre.   It was a much colder night than last year so I bundled up.   Dom decided to don a Santa cap and since he has a long white beard already, he was ready to play Santa.    Of course he got the attention of several different folks.   The most touching one was from a lady who approached him during intermission.   She mentioned that her father used to play Santa Claus and seeing Dom bought back memories.    They were enjoying a conversation before she requested taking a selfie with him.   Then there was a young lady with a group of ladies that engaged Dom while we were waiting for the train home.   She seemed a bit "white girl tipsy" but was otherwise nice.   Then there was a little boy on the train that of course noticed Dom and asked for gifts.  The scariest encounter was a random man who sat near Dom and I while we were killing time at the Metra waiting area before going to the theatre.   He seemed to be wanting to ask for money and kept throwing hypothetical questions at Dom which Dom cleverly answered.    He was creepy though but thankfully we were able to get away unscathed.

Dom does seem to have a knack of attracting perfect strangers to chat with him.   I've witnessed it countless times when we hang out together.   Part of it is some of the clothes he wears like his numerous "math" shirts and of course with his white beard, he's Santa all year long.   I find myself staying in the background while folks engage him and seemingly not notice me...LOL.   But it's all good.

In other news if all goes to plan, I will be traveling out to Boston in a few days to hang out with Eugene.   The original plan was to see the movie Joker: Folie a Deux.   But Dom was telling me that the movie hasn't done that well.   The report I've seen confirms that they barely made back their initial investment.    I originally was supposed to fly out to see it on November 6th but Eugene had a last minute conflict that forced me to reschedule.   So it may not be playing anywhere in Boston when I arrive.   But if not I'm sure it'll be streaming somewhere either on Hulu or Peacock.

It'll be good to hang out with Eugene even though I'm sure he'll do something to drive me bonkers.   That seems to be his lot in life.    That's why it's good we'll only see each other for a few days.   I do hope I get to meet his handsome roommate though.   We shall see.

Defying Sanity

 The sounds of Wicked have been ever present in my ear.   Dom's been excited by the upcoming theatrical release of Wicked this holiday.   A lot of the doll community has been buzzing about this latest incantation.   So of course to prepare for the release I've been hearing the theatrical songs from Wicked over and over.

There have also been dolls made just in time for promoting the upcoming movie.   Of course Dom's been on top of ordering those and even had me trolling for one at our local Walmart.   They did not have the specific one he wanted so I was off the hook.   But I imagine when the movie comes out, Dom will see it multiple times like he did when the Barbie movie came out.

So Dom and I are currently in Reston, VA for the doll convention that he won a lottery for the right to pay for.   I still don't understand that.   I'm basically on my own in the area while he goes to the conference since it would've cost just as much for me to attend and there's nothing I would enjoy.   There's no doubt Wicked will be the talk of the convention.   Dom did say he's not planning on buying anything since he's already pre-ordered the main items that the conference is promoting.   Hopefully he sticks to that plan.

Since I'm not far the Metro system, which serves Maryland, D.C., and Virginia, I plan on spending the next couple days hanging out in D.C.   I believe there's a casino somewhere in the vicinity that I went to before when we were last in D.C.   So I may check that out again.

I will say our trip to the airport (which we left the house at 4:15 AM) and ultimately getting to the gate proved to be one of the smoothest experiences at an airport I've ever had.   Ironically it was because of Dom's current state with needing a cane.   The security line was miles long but when we got to the first leg, an employee took pity on Dom and moved us through the line.   Then TSA was so fast as we passed through guards with canines verifying that we weren't carrying drugs.   Then there was no having to take out our laptops or our shoes.   I even went through the regular scanner which was a good thing since the t-shirt I wore was a bit snug and I didn't want to bare my belly when lifting up my hands.    But alas it went off because of my belt.   But it was no big deal.   The agent just had me hand her the belt and had me walk again.   To top it off once we were past the security checkpoint, the gate we needed to go to was right in front of us.   We couldn't ask for a more smoother transition through.   Dom thankfully was able to pre-board since he needed more time.   All-in-all it was a great journey.    We'll see how it is going back.

Warped Work Logic

 In my current role our team typically receives case assignments from folks who are having issues with items related to Salesforce.   Part of our productivity is based on how quickly you can solve issues and get the cases closed out.   When I first started there were plenty of cases in the backlog that you could count on to meet those numbers.   But in the last six months the number of cases have dwindled and it's gotten to the point that I have to log into the system at all hours of the evening and weekend just to quickly snap up cases before other engineers do just to try to keep up with productivity.

In the midst of all this, the company has been trying to do more hiring.   In my mind and some of my co-workers, the question becomes why are we hiring all these folks if there isn't the amount of work that justifies doing so.   Management is saying that the plan is to start transferring some folks to other areas of the company and that should free up resources.   

But in the meantime it's been a bit frustrating having to always be online to try and find random cases.   I of course start wondering if there'll be another round of layoffs in the future to contend with.   I gotta get that backup plan going.   I can't count on my job always being there.

I'm also trying to do things to make myself stand out so that hopefully I'll be in the back of the line of folks they consider.   That's no guarantee of course.   I figure it can't hurt though.

I have to gear up for another Indianapolis trip next Monday.   I hate doing that commute but I'm so grateful that I only have to do it once a month or less.   Things can always be worse.

Otherwise work has been okay.  I continue to be grateful to have a good paying job and that I have a lower than national average mortgage that allows me to continue to pay extra on it.   I admit that I'm thinking about retirement more and more especially with Dom eyeing retirement after two more school years.   I'm definitely hoping he can make it with all the issues he's been dealing with.   We just have to continue to take it one day at a time.

Where's Dom?

 One thing that happens when you pair off with someone is that if you go somewhere without the other half, inevitably the question you constantly keep hearing is "Where is so and so?"  I've been hearing that question a lot in the last couple years.   Sometime multiple times a day even.   I admit it annoys me at times having to answer the question over and over.

Dom in the last few years has become less and less social.   Ironically he was the bigger social butterfly of the two of us so him stepping back has made things more stressful for me.   I was always used to him being the talkative one while I stayed in the background.   

He has never known a stranger.   He's told countless stories of random people wanting to chat with him on different things.  I've witnessed it many times myself when we're out together how folks will gravitate to him, whether it's because of a t-shirt he wears, or his (as of late) long beard.

So I've been frustrated with him when trying to get him to hang out with me for different events and then he backs out.   For example this past week I had a work event that one of the Equality groups was holding that allowed us to bring +1's.   I told him about the event a month back and mentioned that I'd like him to accompany me.  I would already be at work in downtown Chicago that day.   For him to attend it would require him to take the train downtown to meet me and then we'd have to take the CTA to our destination.   He said that was fine.   But the day of the event he called me at work to say he wasn't up to it.

I tried to convince him otherwise but of course he wasn't backing down.  I was pissed as hell.  But being at work I couldn't scream like I wanted to.   I was counting on him being with me since I really didn't know anyone that was attending and he could've acted as my buffer.   Plus like I said before people seemed drawn to him so I'm sure he would've drawn some attention.   So in the end I decided not to go since I didn't want to be by myself.   I decided instead to check out Bally's new downtown casino (which I will never go back to again).    The slots in general seemed tighter, some of the clientele were a bit creepy, and the neighborhood around it even though it's downtown, seemed a bit sketchy.   But I wouldn't have gone there had Dom met me downtown as planned for the other event.

But I do understand Dom's energy is not great.   Even for the events that he wants to go to, like the two plays we saw in May, he does have a harder time getting around.   So I guess if it's for something he has no vested interest in, the motivation to go is not there.   You'd think making me happy once in awhile would be motivation enough, but alas it's not.

So of course when I go to our Church or Church events, I'm forever being asked "Where's Dom?" by multiple people at different times of the day.   Yesterday the Church had their "gay Pride" picnic event.  I tried so hard to get him to go.  But of course he didn't.   I knew I would have to go since I am a board member.   Thankfully it didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would be.   But of course everyone was like "Where's Dom?".  I just wanted to scream.

Another gay couple that doesn't frequent the Church too often but Dom and I have hung out with a few times came by.   Don and Juan both greeted folks and eventually they gravitated towards where I was to talk about how they were doing.   Don experienced a lot of work drama in his last job and is now officially retired.   Juan had a good gig going for many years at his place of employment but unfortunately owners changed hands and almost his whole team has been dismantled by the new group and they've been plotting to get rid of Juan.   They've written him up twice for trivial things and he has two bosses that he has to report to. Juan was telling his story of how they were able to use the Family Medical Leave Act to get time off work while getting paid to deal with the stress.   He's now on Short-Term Disability and they are working on getting him on Long-Term Disability.   He does not want to go back to work.   He was hoping they would fire him like they did the rest of his team but for whatever reason they've chosen not to, which partly could be because of the FMLA steps that they've taken.   Don went through a lot of drama at his last role so when shit started happening to Juan, he knew what steps to take to help Juan.

Hearing all of Juan's drama reminds me that I need to be vigilant in trying to save and invest as much as I can.   I'm hoping I can hang on to my job for another 8 years and 3 months (that's when I turn 60....can't believe that milestone is just years away...god willing).   Ideally I want to retire at 60 so I can try to enjoy the remainder of my years.   If I could retire at 55, that would be real nice.   But that would require my investments to behave very well to give me enough of a cushion for us to live comfortably on while only withdrawing on interest.   I do feel like 60 would be more realistic for early retirement.  In theory if all goes well, I should have our mortgage paid off before I turn 54.  Then I can take the savings from the mortgage to save and invest even more hopefully for the next 6 years after that.    A lot of it depends on how the culture remains at my present job.   So far it's going good but it was good for Juan too for over 9 years until the new group took over.   It only takes a few toxic elements to make a once great environment not so good.   Plus I have to hope to not get laid off during that time, something that always remains in the back of my mind.

Here I go again making plans.  Bringing it back to topic, where's Dom?  He's hanging in there.  I just have to get used to his new normal.

Marking Us Safe From Our Trip To New Orleans

 Dom and I made it back safely from our half week in New Orleans.   Overall it was a great trip.   My conference was fine.   I met a couple folks which was cool.   I learned a bit more about some of the different Salesforce products like Mulesoft.   Mulesoft is a platform that's used to connect completely different data and system sources where information is required to be passed between areas.   The food provided by the convention could've been better though I wound up missing the opening outing at a restaurant called The Court Of Two Sisters.  It was a lovely space from what I saw and when I checked it out from those who attended as well as their website.   I liked it so much I told Dom that we had to try it for ourselves.   

Getting there itself was an adventure.   The hotel we stayed at decided to have a fire alarm set off just as we were getting ready to leave.    That meant the elevators were out of commission and we had to walk 8 flights of stairs down.   

For Dom it was extra challenging since he's not able to move as fast.   There were a crowd of folks behind us as we slowly made our way down.   To top it off we had to walk to the restaurant which was a little over half a mile from the restaurant.   Dom and I slowly trudged down the street and he had to stop a couple times since his hips were getting sore.    Just when he was wanting to give up we saw the sign.

Once there he needed to sit for a bit in the waiting area to catch his breath.  There was a group that took all the front area to sit.   They finally were seated and Dom was able to sit.   We made reservations for 8PM but there was still a small wait.   Finally the host (who was a sexy MF - he almost reminded me of singer Kenny Lattimore) called my name and directed us to our seating area.   

The food was good but very expensive and tiny appetizer portions.   Par the course these days.  Dom even made another friend in our waitress.  It's so funny how folks seem naturally drawn to him.   Our first night in New Orleans a random lady came over to compliment him on his shirt and tell him he could play Santa Claus which of course Dom told her he has...LOL.   It was hilarious and it took her a few minutes before noticing I was there.   Too funny.   

There was no way Dom was going to make it walking back to the hotel so I tried to do a Lyft.  The first Lyft driver drove right past us and eventually Lyft tried to send a second driver.   After fifteen minutes of foolishness from Lyft, Dom wanted us to look for a taxi instead.   As luck would have it, a taxi happened to drive by and we were able to direct it to stop for us.   I cancelled the Lyft and we made the short via taxi drive back to the hotel.

The rest of the conference was okay but I will admit I was feeling a bit out of place at times.   Thankfully I was able to use my hotel room for refuge.   And oh my gosh, I saw a fat mouse scamper against the wall in the great hall where the conference was hosting an awards dinner.  At the time I was sitting by my lonesome at the table so I was the only one that saw it but that was quite a shock.

I also got to enjoy my casino hobby a little bit with the Harrah's not being too far from the hotel.  They shook me out of $90 which wasn't that bad.

We also got to try beignets at two different spots, the infamous Cafe Du Monde and also Cafe Beignet.  I will say I think I liked Cafe Beignet's beignets a little better.   They don't drown them in as much powdered sugar as Cafe Du Monde does.   They are a little more dense than Cafe Du Monde as well but they were great.

We managed to walk a bit around the French Quarter after taking a scenic trolley ride around town.  Eventually we had to find another taxi to take us back to the hotel as Dom was not going to make it.  Ironically we wound up finding The Court Of Two Sisters and half a block away, the same waitress that served us was heading to her shift there.   Dom and she chatted for a bit which was cool.   We eventually found another taxi a block away who was able to take us back to the hotel.

Overall it was an enjoyable trip.   I'm glad we managed to get through it unscathed.   Even the house was safely found after I forgot to set the timers for the lights.   Next adventure for us is the first of two concerts in Shipshewana, IN.  

Beignet Time

Dom and I are just days away from our trip to New Orleans.   I'm nervous about attending a work conference mostly solo.   I do know one or two people that will be attending, including one from my company.   But I anticipate spending the majority of my time alone.   It'll be a time to try and force myself to be social.

Not only am I nervous about the conference, I'm also nervous about the flight.   There have been a lot of mishaps being reported on the news regarding planes.   In 2024 alone, there have been nearly a dozen reported cases.   Our flight going to NOLA has been changed several times.   The latest change has our flight leaving almost 4 hours later than I planned.    The positive though is that the flight they put us on is now a direct flight.   So at least we don't have to worry about rushing to hop on another plane.

I looked ahead at the weather and it looks like it's pretty much going to be raining all four days that we're in town.   And it's still going to be in the 90's.   I guess as long as there's no tornadoes or hurricanes in the forecast, we'll be good.    I am excited though to read that we'll be in NOLA during their Restaurant Week.   I'm hoping Dom and I will be able to try out a couple of the spots and hopefully for a discount.

We both definitely want to go to Cafe Du Monde and get some beignets.   The last time I was there and had a beignet, I believe was in 2010 (or it may have been 2009).  Nope looks like I went to Toronto in 2009 so definitely 2010 because 2011 was when I went to Spain.   Sadly it doesn't look like I blogged about my NOLA experience.   It was around the time my interest in blogging waned.   

Thinking back to my last trip, the highlight of the trip was my solo dinner some place I've since forgotten and winding up getting a free ticket to House of Blues to see The Neville Brothers perform.  The story there was that I was sitting at the bar (because the restaurant was packed).   There were two ladies sitting nearby and separated from me by a seat.   That seat later got filled by this other guy who spent the majority of his time chatting it up with the ladies next to him and then trying to have me be his wingman.   Of course he didn't know I batted for the other team...LOL.  It ended up apparently he had extra tickets to House of Blues and it just so happened that The Neville Brothers were performing.   He wound up inviting the ladies and myself to House of Blues.   Talk about being in the right place at the right time.   I remember one of the ladies whispering to me that they were glad I came along as well.   We all eventually separated once we were at the venue.    But I was elated to see a free show.

I already know the lines to Cafe Du Monde are going to be insane but it'll be worth it to get those fluffy, sugary pastries to enjoy.   I am looking forward to making new memories with Dom.