Stormy Weather

 This summer has been quite eventful weatherwise.   It seemed like every week they were announcing some weather event where there was the potential for tornadoes and flooding.   Last month the tornadoes hit very close to where we live in the town of Merrillville.    We frequent there when shopping at Costco or when I was taking my certification exams for the latest Salesforce cert.    So it was surreal to see the destruction that took place.  My area received lots of rain and heavy winds but thankfully we didn't get the brunt of the bad weather.  I haven't been to Merrillville since the tornadoes but plan to go this weekend to Costco as we need to stock up on some bulk items.

We've had more storm events happen due to the very humid air in the air and a cold front moving in from the north.   Areas were also seeing hail the size of golf balls.    We have windows open because we have no central air and Dom insists on having them constantly open.   When the winds came through, the gust was enough to knock some of the spices we had placed on the kitchen sill fly off.

When coming back from our court appearance in late June, we drove through the town of Griffith, IN and could see that they had reduced major roadway Ridge to only one lane each direction, the other lane was filled with tree debris from fallen limbs.   

So this past Monday, Chicagoland experienced yet another storm event.    This time the Southern burbs of Illinois received the brunt of the tornadoes, including Lansing, Orland Park, and Homewood.   Anthony lives in that area and he mentioned that the power went out for him.   It so happened that this time Dom and I went without power.   The power was out for almost six hours.   Dom especially had a hard time adjusting to how hot the house got without fans and our A/C bedroom.

At first we were in the mud room where he opened the windows and a breeze was coming through.  I don't care for the mud room because part of the windows extend to our neighbor's driveway.  Dom of course was talking loud and his voice was carrying outside, enough for the Amazon delivery person delivering a package for our neighbors to turn is head and look at us.  

I decided to stay in the living room and lie down on one of the sofas.   Dom and I would continue to converse from between the rooms since the mud room is only inches away from the living room.   Eventually we moved upstairs and Dom of course opened the bedroom window w/o the A/C unit as high as possible.   But he wasn't comfortable.   I was wanting to doze off but really couldn't because he was tossing and turning.   So I went back down to the sofa and Dom eventually joined.   We talked for a bit before I finally dozed off.    By then we were on hour 4 or 5 without power.   I was definitely worrying about our food going bad in the refrigerators.   The mini-fridge in the kitchen nook starting leaking water from the freezer.

I felt the ceiling fans start spinning and the lights turn on in the living room after a little over 6 hours without power and heard Dom exclaiming joy.   I soon also exclaimed joy and was grateful that the outage didn't carry on through the night.   

It's funny that some do not believe in global warming but how can we explain all the major weather events especially tornadoes that have never plagued our area before.   It's not over either.   It wouldn't surprise me to see more events like this in the near future.   All we can do is take cover and pray.

Default Judgment Revisited

As previously mentioned, Dom received a "Notice of Claim" from a collection agency back in mid-April.   We mulled over our options and honestly hoped that it would blow over like some of the other judgments that were received.   Worse case scenario they would have to garnish his wages which currently is non-existent.   There was a court date given that we decided not to attend.

The court date came and went.   Later that week Dom received a letter stating that a $5000 default judgment was filed against him.   I debated whether we should contest it or not.    We were only aware of $2400 that he owed that was stated to have been filed in collections.   

In the end I decided to file a Motion To Set Aside The Default Judgment on Dom's behalf.   As expected we received in the mail a week or so afterwards a new court date to appear.   It's on June 26th at 8:45 AM.   I'm turning to ChatGPT for advice though ultimately Dom will have to speak on the matter.

According to ChatGPT, it says that the first thing to do is to get the default judgment set aside.   They suggest saying something like the following:

"Your Honor, I respectfully ask that the default judgment be set aside.  I acted promptly after learning on the judgment, filed my motion, and served the plaintiff.   I would like the opportunity to respond and address the claim."

It sounds like at that point, the judge may schedule a future date to give Dom the opportunity to do that.    If there is a deadline, we would need to be ready for a response by then.

The answer would need to include what is known to be true, deny what we don't know, and the plaintiff would need to prove the amount they say that is owed.    In a nutshell we would need to know how they arrived at over $5000.

If after doing all that an amount is determined, at that point, a reduced settlement can be asked, a payment plan can be discussed, and a hardship review presented.   I keep wondering if I should appear as I don't want them coming after me directly for the debt though ultimately I'm going to have to pay whatever is settled upon.

I don't know what's going to happen on that day.   I am praying if there is a settlement the amount is greatly reduced.   I will admit again that I am frustrated to be in this situation.   I'm mad at Dom for his lack of financial responsibility and also the hospital for their outrageous expenses.   But for better or for worse when Dom is in trouble, so am I.   Stay tuned.

Living With A Collector

 As you may our may not know (if you're a new reader - do I even have those... 😆 ), Dom has a huge collection of vintage dolls from various genres.   He has Barbies. Gene Marshall's, Poppy Parker, and many celebrity dolls like Elizabeth Taylor, Mariah Carey, and RuPaul just to name a few.   

We currently live in a 4 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath home with a basement and almost every inch of the house, except for the kitchen and bathrooms have some kind of doll presence.   When we first moved here, he insisted that the largest bedroom be dedicated as his personal doll room.   That room has wall-to-floor dolls everywhere.   They quickly spread to the other two rooms in the upstairs area with our main bedroom also surrounded by dolls and all their accessories.    Even the hallways are full of boxes filled with dolls and more accessories.    And as if he doesn't have enough, he continues to order new dolls to add to his collection.

It's enough to make me go batty.   I never dreamed I would be living in a cluttered home.   It was something I was hoping to avoid seeing how my parents ended up with a lot of clutter that we needed to go through when they were called by God.   But alas when Dom and I eventually get our calling cards, folks will be going through our house and saying "oh my God, I can't believe how much stuff is here".   A lot of it I'm sure will be hauled away or given away to other collectors.   It's crazy to think about but the reality is none of us lives forever.

Part of the reason I've posted on this is that I've surprisingly not seen much written out there from the perspective of a non-collector living with someone that collects stuff.   There's a special blessing I feel we deserve for living in this situation.   Sadly to even try and get work done to the house, sometimes I have to move doll stuff around so the workers can do their job.   I have second-hand embarrassment when someone come to our house to do work and they see how we're living.   I can imagine what they tell their friends or significant others about our place after they're done.   I'm hoping they've seen worse. 

We're wanting to finally update our full size bed to an adjustable split bed so Dom will be comfortable sleeping upstairs again.    Our current mattress is 31 years old and needs replacement badly.   The main bedroom also has ceiling paneling that's falling apart.   I've removed some of the pieces but unfortunately I can't remove the rest because there's so much junk in the room (majority of it dolls and accessories) that need to be moved.   But part of the challenge is where can it be moved too.   The hallway that connects the other room are extremely cluttered and the other two rooms are also full of stuff.   I can see the ceiling above the paneling is peeling and would be in need of painting.   Also the light fixture would have to change since it's panel lighting.   Also the walls have some awful dated paneling that would need to be changed.    The easiest thing would be to get some wallpaper to cover it up.   There's also a hole in the upper corner of ceiling where a plug that I have no idea what it's for (but it may be for something in the attic) is sticking out from.   We're thinking we could put crown molding possibly to try and cover that up.   But to do all this the stuff in the room needs to go.   But where would it go?   We need a handyman likely to put the new lighting fixture (which Dom insists has to have a fan), paint the ceiling, install the wall paper, and put in the crown molding.    To even get to that point where I can hire a handyman, we need to at least declutter the room.

Dom unfortunately isn't doing well health-wise so his energy is not great to provide any assistance so I'm stuck trying to move stuff but I don't know where to put stuff.    We definitely need help.

It's part of the frustration I feel when I realize how we're living.   I love Dom but I told myself if something were to happen to him first and I somehow met someone else, that person cannot be a collector (unless it's a collection that's small enough to fit in one room).   There's a couple other things that person can't be either but that's neither here or there.

Dom has a doll friend in the west coast that was in a long-term relationship with a non-collector.   They broke up last year and there wasn't a reason given.   Part of me wondered if the non-collector got tired of dealing with the doll friend's collection and the constant need to buy more and more crap (to me) and decided to call it quits.   I wasn't friends with the non-collector so I'll never know.   But I wish I could talk to him and get the 411 on how he felt living with a collector.   

I feel like we non-collectors need our own support group where we can vent about our situations.   Are there any groups out there?    I can't be the only one that's frustrated how living with a collector affects them not just with the accumulation of stuff but financially as well.   I'm having to pay for all of Dom's stuff now and it has me worried.   If I were to lose my job, what would we do?   I'm the only one who worries about that.   Thankfully I am more of a saver so I've been doing everything in my power to try and improve our finances despite living with a spending collector.

I remember back in 2017 when we were 2 1/2 years into dating and I found out that June that I was being let go by the end of September, I was telling Dom then that we need to try and not spend as much since I was going to lose my job in the next couple months and I didn't know how long it would take to get another one.    But that went in one ear and out the other.    He didn't slow up on his doll purchases.   At least he did have a job then.    But it made me sick to see how almost his whole check would go to buying doll stuff.

I probably should've ran then.  Dom claims he tried to warn me.   I guess the signs were there but I guess I put the blinders on in that regards.   I loved Dom's other qualities more than I hated the few things that irked.   At the end of the day I do love Dom and he is a good person at heart.   

Hopefully we can get this bedroom remodel going this year.   Stay tuned.

It's A Default

 We received bad news in the mail this past weekend.   Remember I mentioned last month that we (technically Dom but it still affects me) got served last month from the local Sheriff's office for some past hospital debt.    Dom's court date was on May 11 but we opted not to attend.   I probably should've pushed Dom more to file a response but I ultimately didn't.   Dom surprisingly asked if we should go the weekend before.   Since we didn't file a response I didn't think it made any sense to go at that point.    

So the 11th came and went.   We received two pieces of mail declaring that a default judgment was made against Dom and that he owes over $5000.    I surmised that they would look to garnish Dom's wages.   From what I understand they could take up to 15% of his earnings to pay down the debt.   The rub is that Dom is not working so he's not collecting a paycheck.    The most they can do now is freeze his assets which are his personal bank account and our joint account (because his name is on it).    But he's not funding either of those currently.   I fund the joint account because the monthly mortgage is automatically getting withdrawn from it.   Plus sadly Dom is still buying doll crap that I have to cover because it may potentially affect our mortgage payments.

When we found out about the original court date, the first thing I had Dom do was go to his hospital portal to see if he could see anything about what was owed.    We saw there was debt for over $2500 but not the $5000+ that the collectors were claiming.   I paid $1500 of that debt so far (well charged my credit card).

I have to admit I'm extremely frustrated with Dom.   He seems to think that life is for buying dolls and accessories and everything else be damned.   He just has no sense of responsibility.   But this is nothing new.   

I went back to ChatGPT to see if there was anything that could be done.   It was suggested to file a Motion To Set Aside Default Judgment and file it with the court as well as mail a copy to the plaintiff's lawyer.   It came up with a motion that I was able to print out at my job this past Monday.    Then I drove to the court yesterday to drop off the motion and mail out the copy with return receipt.

Assuming the motion is honored, we'll likely get a new court date that we have to attend.   The plaintiff will have to explain how they came up with $5000 when the health portal only shows half of that.  I guess is the difference their finder's fee?   Ultimately whatever the settlement is, I'm going to have to pay it.   What a mess.   For better or worse, right?

The Case For Mackinac Island

 Dom and I spent a nice day hanging out in Mackinac Island last summer.   Dom enjoyed it so much that he has mentioned multiple times since how he would love to move there.    Since he first mentioned it, I knew that getting a home there would be a pipe dream.    Home prices in the island according to Zillow range from the upper 6 figures to several million dollars.   

The main case for choosing Mackinac Island for living is the weather.   But that would only be during the summer and maybe fall.   The island temps tend to be cooler due to being surrounded by Lake Huron.  I imagine that island living would be quite peaceful (if away from the touristy area).   But that's where the positives end.

There are several negatives.   Weather is the biggest one.   The winters can be especially harsh.  Heaven forbid your furnace decides to go out, like ours did a few months ago.    You'd have to hope that the HVAC guy lives nearby or has a horse and carriage that he can use to get to you and the roads aren't treacherous that traveling to your home may be delayed.   This brings up the next negative (though it's also a positive in other ways).

Cars are not allowed on the island.  That's a good thing for air quality.   It's one less thing polluting the air.   But with that it limits your mobility around the island if you're not able to walk, ride a bike, or have a horse.   Dom himself is not able to walk like he used to and it takes longer for him to get around.

Getting in and out of the island is another negative.   Being isolated means getting out of the island is only possible by boat.   If the weather is bad, that means you're pretty much stuck there.   Depending on the circumstances that may not be a bad thing but it could also be dire if you have an emergency.

They do have a hospital there but you have to hope the roads are passable that a horse carriage can pass through.    If you're of a certain age, getting to the hospital can be a challenge.

You can still get Amazon deliveries but it's by boat and horse ultimately.   That I imagine is an added cost and time.   Food of course would be more expensive on the island as well since a lot of that needs to be shipped by boat.

All of those reasons make a weak case for choosing to live in the island full time.    There are options to buy land on the island for cheaper but then that means having the added cost of a builder to prep the land for a new home assuming I chose to build.    Theoretically I could buy some land and just pay the taxes and not build but that doesn't make any sense either.  I don't have any kids I can leave the land to and even if I did, there's no guarantee that they would be interested.    Case in point, Mama was willed a piece of property in the island of Guadeloupe where our extended family is from.    But my sisters and I have no desire to move back there as our lives are in the United States (though with this Agent Orange regime...LOL).   I believe Tasha was trying to work out something with our Kiss and Tell cousin Chrissy to try and possibly sell it but that has stalled.

Another reason Mackinac Island isn't possible is that Dom himself has zero savings to help offset the cost.  He literally has no cash to his name.  Some of his collection has value but that would require selling it and finding someone willing to pay for it.   So any costs on moving to Mackinac Island would fall on me and would likely wipe a lot of my current savings.   I just can't justify the associated costs of living there.   Dom of course has been preaching to other folks about wanting to move there as well.   But unless we win the lottery it just doesn't make financial sense.

I've told Dom if he really wants to live in the island, the next best option would be to live closer to the island like in Traverse City or Gaylord, MI.    But I'm not feeling those areas either.

For me I would love to retire near Las Vegas though that may not make much sense either.   I'd sooner move to London (which is another dream of his) than Mackinac Island.   I am gravitating towards warmer areas whereas Dom wants cooler areas.

I told Dom that the most logical place for us to move would probably be Fort Wayne, IN.   It would put him slightly closer to his Mom and much closer to my sisters in Detroit.    The cost of living there would be cheaper as well and there are plenty of hospitals if needed.

Ideally since I am close to paying off our current mortgage (currently only $4000 left...woo hoo!), I feel it would make sense for me to increase my savings and investments for the next 5 - 7 years so we have a decent cushion and hopefully still find a place that is smaller (he would need to sell off his dolls) and affordable so we can enjoy more trips, including ones to Mackinac Island.   I do worry about Dom since he is not as strong as he used to be and he would be close to 70 by the time the five years come.   I want to make him happy but it has to be realistic too.

I still would like to retire in January 2033, assuming I still have a job for all that time.   But what will life say to that?   We won't know but life goes on.

We've Been Served

I was working from home this past Wednesday.   It was a normal day dealing with crazy customer cases and Dom was slowly waking up to get his quiet day at home started.   He had some doll orders that he was expecting from the Disneystore that was set to arrive that day.    Those arrived mid-morning just when he was downstairs in the basement taking pictures of more of his dolls.    His latest craze he was photographing were characters from Netflix K-Pop Demon Hunters.   These days any cartoon can quickly become Dom's next latest obsession.   Hemingway UPS rang the doorbell and since he was occupied downstairs, I went to pick up his packages.   

When I opened the main door, I saw there were some folded papers that were stapled and wrapped in a rubber band that was wedged between the screen door.    I first bought in his packages (two big boxes) since it was slightly drizzling outside and didn't want them to get wet further.   I then went back and grabbed the papers.

The first thing I saw was "Notice Of Claim" written in big capital letters on the very top of the page.  As I looked further I saw that Dom was served from the local Sheriff's office regarding a claim from his hospital that was sent to collections saying that the collector filed a motion with the Sheriff's office and Dom's court date is scheduled for 05/11 at 1pm.   

As I looked through the pages I was wondering if this was something we needed to worry about.  I saw what looked like a docket number and then a mention of interest owed for the debt in the amount of over $1100 dollars which along with the $115 filing fee and the principal balance of $4300 totaled approximately $5600.   I verified on the court website using the docket number that it was indeed filed with the court.

I haven't told Dom about it yet but he has received plenty of letters in the past from debt collectors which he's brushed aside.   I'm not sure he can ignore this one though.   I used ChatGPT to get some advice on what should be done.

The suggestion was to send a reply to "deny what debt that is uncertain" which they say forces the plaintiff to present proof.   The reply should include such phrases as “I lack sufficient knowledge to admit the amount” and/or “Plaintiff must prove the debt and amount”.    Doing this they say prevents a default judgment from occurring though that assumes that a court appearance is still made.

According to the advice, it is suggested that the defendant appear in court on that day where things may lead to payment discussions, future court dates, and the burden of the plaintiff to prove that the amount owed is correct.

It's also suggested to try and negotiate a lower payment amount.   It's also advised when filing to send it in person and have it stamped.

The scary thing is that I didn't even hear the person when they left the papers.   I had to check my security doorbell and it showed clearly a black sheriff's car parked in front of our house with a female police officer walking and placing the papers.

I've spoken about it before but I find myself frustrated with Dom's priorities.   His focus always is on what next doll he has to own.   When he was working his small paycheck was usually always spent on doll related things.   The only other thing he would think about getting is groceries.    It left me responsible for covering all the household expenses and other miscellaneous expenses like car insurance, car repair, our entertainment like dinners, plays, concerts, road trips, and other random life expenses that come along.

Now that he's not working, I'm responsible for paying for all of his orders.   You would think not having a job would stop him but I guess as long as I'm around he doesn't care.   He's had several visits and procedures over the years so the total amount could be for everything over that time period.    It never occurred to him to maybe set aside some of his doll money to pay his medical bills.   I've tried to pay for some stuff here and there but I can't be responsible for it all.  It's very upsetting to say the least and his expenses have been slowing down my progress on trying to be more financially independent.

He still hasn't completed filing for disability which he was supposed to do in January.  I wish I could strike from paying his bills but unfortunately he's using my credit cards so I'm stuck having to cover.   I mentioned not being able to pay off the full balance every month.   The upside is right now I am a cycle ahead but if some emergency comes where I have to pay extra, it won't take long before I find myself owing interest again.

I wish there was a way I can hammer home to him the importance of being financially responsible.   But he's about to be 62 and if he hasn't gotten that lesson in his younger years, he won't get it now.  I implore single people to choose their future partner wisely.   I suppose better yet don't get married...LOL.  Your spouse can either be an ally or adversary in your financial goals.    Dom is definitely in the latter category.   I am doing okay but I know I could be doing much better.   

I am trying to brace myself for telling Dom the news and trying to convince him to take it seriously.   But Dom is so lackadaisical about anything that isn't doll related.   He will probably brush this aside too.

The one upside is Dom is not working anymore so if they try to garnish his wages, there won't be able to get anything there.    Also they can't garnish social security or disability (if he ever gets it).   They can freeze his accounts and our joint account which is why I am looking to open an account in my name with Centier so I can continue to use that to pay the mortgage.    Speaking of the mortgage, the lien is in my name only so they won't be able to add a judgment to the house.

Another bright side, he actually sold one of his dolls and got over $300 for it.    If he could sell a dozen more, maybe he can pay some of this debt.

So maybe he should ignore it?   Lord know he's ignored everything else.   I don't know.   What a mess to be in.

Raging Roadsters

 What is it when some people get inside their cars that turns them into complete lunatics?   They drive too slow, too fast, weave in and out of traffic, and worse of all tailgate.  It gets to the point that it's scary these days to even go for a leisurely drive which is never truly leisurely.   Every trip leaves the potential for running into one (but usually more) of these lunatics.   I breathe a sigh of relief every time I make it safely to a destination.   When Dom worked at the school, he made it a point to email me to let me know that he made it safely.   I in turn do the same when I make it to my job downtown safely.

I have so many examples of raging roadsters that I ran into.   My most recent example was a few days ago.   I was coming home from work a little earlier Thursday afternoon to try and beat some inclement weather that was forecasted .   Thankfully 95% of my trip is via train (if I'm not traveling to Indianapolis which thankfully I haven't done in six months or so).   But I do drive to the train station.  To get out of the station, one of the exits I go to I have to make a left.    There is no traffic light at the exit and there's no stop signs for the main road.    There's only one lane to enter and exit so if you're making a left and someone behind you is making a right, the person behind you is stuck until the person in front can safely make a left.    It take forever (probably 5 minutes in actual time) to make that left as by the time traffic clears on one side, there's traffic on the other side.   Then it repeats until you have to either take a crazy risk and speed ahead of upcoming traffic or get lucky and catch a rare break where traffic isn't appearing on either side.

Knowing this I try to wait until everyone in the parking lot leaves before me so I don't have anyone behind me.   This past Thursday one of the people fooled me into thinking they were staying behind much longer but as I was heading towards the exit, they were backing up.   So they wound up behind me.   

It was raining currently so I didn't want to squeal out as I was afraid of hydroplaning and losing control of my car.    Unfortunately traffic was coming from both directions and there were times when one side was clear and the other would get traffic.   After two minutes I decided to step out on the left side of the road when I saw that traffic was gone on that side.   There were multiple cars still coming from the right side so I couldn't turn.

A minute later there was a car speeding on the left side coming towards me.   I heard him honking and the driver was not slowing down.   There was a final car on the right side that barely got past me and I was finally able to make the left just as the speed demon crossed my lane.    That person wasn't planning on stopping and I could've been side swiped.   Even if he did, with the wet roads it would've been harder to stop.   I definitely thanked my lucky stars when I got home (two minutes later).    I look forward to the warmer weather when I can start walking to the train station again.   I just have to watch for the lunatics when trying to walk across the street...LOL.

Another example that comes to mind is three Saturdays back when Dom and I drove to Four Winds casino in New Buffalo, MI.   There's a point in the trip when the two lane road that we're on merges with another major road coming from the East.    We're on the left hand side and the traffic we merge into is on the right.    There's a stop sign where we have to stop and take turns crossing for the other traffic that merges West for the second road.   

So I was crossing over and merging into the road along with another car that was on the right lane.    We both are in two lanes on the merged road.   An idiot coming from the second road going East is driving super fast and is quickly tailgating me.   I can't move over safely since the other car is on the second lane.   The idiot moves into the other lane behind the other car now tailgating that person.    There is a car a half block in front of me that has his turn signal making a left.   I'm guessing idiot driver was anticipating I would have to stop and they can merrily zip into the left lane once they're past the turning car.   But the turning car was able to turn before I got there.    

So I kept driving and idiot driver was still tailgating the other person.   I managed to get a good distance from both cars.   I then saw the idiot driver get in my lane.   Knowing that he was going to zig zag, I thought I'd save him the trouble and safely move to the right lane.

So then he speeds along but not without gesturing the finger to me and shouting incoherently before speeding along.  I immediately honked my horn to let him and everyone else know what an idiot he was as he continued speeding and weaving around other cars.   I guess he was in a hurry to get his weed at one of the over 30 weed dispensaries in New Buffalo.

That's just two examples of the many encounters I've experienced while driving on the road and Dom of course has had his own share, some while I was a passenger as well.

It truly is scary driving on the roads these days.   There are so many stories of road rage incidents where people end up fighting or getting shot.    I thank goodness that it hasn't gotten to that point in my encounters (knock on wood).    But it's just one more thing that we have to deal with in this life.

The Heat Is On

 It's been a cold eight days since our boiler went out.  Even with the space heaters it's been horrible.  I've had some reprieve with going into the office but I wound up catching a cold (still recovering) from the constant temperature switch.   Dom's even had to come upstairs to sleep for a few nights.    Company #1 did come over last Thursday to check on the state of the boiler.   The technician reviewed it and determined that the boiler couldn't be saved.   They normally charge an $80 service call charge but since they didn't repair it they waived the charge.   Instead they sent over a second person who came an hour or so after the first technician to discuss the costs for a new boiler.

The second person reviewed the boiler and pipe setup.  He then eyed my water boiler and noted its age.   He came up with two options.    We could either get a new boiler on its own or he was suggesting what was called a combi-boiler which functions as a boiler and a water heater.   The minimum estimate for the boiler was $12,000 (which was way higher than I expected).   He sited having to remove the old boiler and retrofitting the pipes into the boiler as reasons for the cost.   

He was slightly pushy by saying I could sign a contract as soon as he drafted it out and work could begin as early as the following Monday.   I told him that I would be getting a second quote as well.     He left and said he would send me an email with the estimates the next day.

Dom immediately thought it was way too expensive.   I thought it was on the high-end but felt like everything these days is costly.   I forgot to ask if that included labor as well.   But I did want a second opinion.   Dom was suggesting reaching out to Home Depot since they could direct us to technicians.

I reached out to Home Depot online.   They paired me up with a technician but when I looked at the website, I saw that they did not specialize in boilers.    So I knew they would not be able to assist.   Home Depot said the technician would reach out to schedule something but they never did.   They probably noted that I wanted to replace a boiler since I did explicitly say boiler and chose not to waste their time or mine.

In the meantime I never received a quote from Company #1 as promised.    We were stuck on what to do.   I thought of reaching back to Company #1 but I'm not a beggar and the guy promised he would mail an estimate.

The temperature outside slightly warmed up past the weekend which helped the inside temps a little bit but it was still cold inside.

We had our Church board meeting on Monday.   Dom came on camera and pleaded with the board for help in finding someone for us.   The Church has had a couple folks come over to repair their furnace in the past and suggested them to us as possibilities.   I wasn't sure if either of them did boiler work.

One of them right off the bat I knew would not come to our neighborhood.   Dom reached out to that one by email and they never responded.   The second outfit was closer to our neighborhood and I figured they may check it out, assuming they did boilers.   I called them Tuesday morning and got confirmation that they do work with boilers.

I scheduled a technician from Company #2 to come out yesterday (2/11).   I directed him to the basement but had to leave because I had a customer call.    Dom was downstairs so he was able to stay with the technician.

As I was on my call, I started hearing some noises from the basement.   I was thinking, is he actually attempting to repair the boiler?   I sent Dom a quick text message and he confirmed that the technician mentioned replacing a part in the boiler.   I was elated.

In the end he mentioned having to replace the thermocouple, which is a sensor that tells the boiler if the flame is on.   The cost of the repair including labor was $274.   The tech from Company #2 also said that the boiler was worth saving as the Crane Sunnyday was made to last a long time (clearly as ours is over 70 years old).

$274 is much much better than financing over $12,000 (and I assume I would've had to make a down payment as well).   I'm guessing Company #1 didn't bother with sending an estimate because they knew I would either beg them to come do the work or find someone that would do it cheaper.   I will say I even contemplated waiting till Spring or Summer to replace the boiler thinking it may be cheaper.

But in the end things worked out.  The house is warm again.  I may still be able to pay off the mortgage this year after all.   Won't he do it!!

The Heat Is Off

 It's funny how just when you think things are bad life decides to make things worse.    Yesterday morning started out normal with me slowly waking out of bed around 4am.     I felt warm at first which was good but as I made my way downstairs things took a chilly turn.     It wasn't long before I got confirmation from Dom that the radiator next to him was cold.   That woke me up completely.

I went up to the thermostat and the room temp was 54 degrees, two degrees lower than was set.   As a side rant some may wonder why our thermostat is set to a low 56 degrees.   The location of the thermostat is in our chilly hallway.   We have to keep it that low to keep the heat from barreling out of control, though it really doesn't work to resolve that.    Another side rant comes in the form of our Nipsco bill which was $486 last month and now $516.    I hate Nipsco with the same intensity that I used to hate Comcast so long ago.   I'm not the only one.

So the thermostat had a status that the heat was on but with the temps falling in the house I knew that was a lie.  I confirmed that the radiator in the bathroom was also cold.    I went downstairs and found that our old Crane Sunnyday boiler which had to have been installed sometime in the 1950's or 1960's was making a whirring noise and water was slowly leaking out of one of the pipes.

When we purchased our home we knew that the boiler was on borrowed time.   It held in there for a little over 10 years so that was an accomplishment.    But the timing of its demise could not be worse.   I'm already hurting from covering all of Dom's doll pre-orders since he's not working.    The money I had saved a few years ago has dwindled to below half of what I used to have.   My credit card bills have skyrocketed thanks to Dom's crap and I'm on the edge of having to pay interest fees again for the first time since 2023.

I've been working so hard to try and obtain financial freedom but having to pay for a new boiler potentially will be an additional setback.   I've been scraping the barrel to try and pay extra on my monthly mortgage which I'm so close to paying off.   I'll still try to give something extra but it may not be as much as I'd like to give.

To top it off the place that I called that potentially may be able to repair the boiler (which given the age I don't know if it can be saved) won't be available to look at until Thursday afternoon, a full two and a half days from when it died.   I was told by the person who recommended the place to tell them I live in the good part of our city (otherwise they may not come).   I'm guessing at best if it's a repair that can save the radiator, I may have to pay at least $1000 though worse case scenario, I may have to pay between $3000 - $5000 for a new boiler.    And of course they charge a service fee just for coming to check it out.    It's such a racket.

So needless to say I'm not a happy camper.    We're managing to hang in there with a few space heaters that are turned on from time to time and keeping the french doors to our living room closed to try to minimize the draft from the hallway.   But man is this going to hurt me financially.    At least I can escape to the office today to warm up.   Thankfully too our old water heater is hanging on so at least we have hot water.

Low Fence Attack

 Yesterday I received a cryptic call from Dom as I was arriving home from work.    He told me that I needed to check the low fence in the back alley.    He wouldn't tell me what was wrong.   Come to find out, part of our fence was ripped from the ground and barely hanging on to the rest of the fence.   The area of fence ripped was located just at the edge of our property right next to our neighbor's fence which was undamaged.   It wasn't connected to our neighbor's fence since they have a tall wooden fence.

I couldn't understand how it could happen.   Tuesday is our garbage day and our garbage was picked up as normal.   I didn't see any tire tracks by the fence and I couldn't make out any footprints even though we just got a fresh batch of snow on the ground.   The only marks were around the garbage container showing where the container stood and further along the right-of-way were tire tracks from the vehicles that traverse the back alley.

Dom unfortunately didn't hear any noises coming from that area and our next door neighbor has a camera in their back wooden fence and it didn't capture anything.    We had a camera in our back area installed after we had our garbage can stolen but our WI-FI has issues in the winter reaching beyond our home so it wasn't in place.   I was planning to get a WI-FI extender to plug in the garage but hadn't done so.   I will definitely need to do that now so I can add my camera back.

We suspect either the garbage truck or a snow plow may have caused the damage.   But there were no tire tracks near the fence.    Dom discovered it when he went to pick up the garbage container.   The container itself was standing in its usual place.   I couldn't see any damages or scratches on the container itself.

As it stands we have no proof of what caused our low fence to be pulled from the ground.   I do plan to reach out to two of our other neighbors in the perimeter to see if they saw anything.  I'm not holding out any hope but it doesn't hurt to try.   I don't want to repeat the mistake of not talking to our neighbors when our home was robbed in 2016.   Otherwise I'm not sure what we can do.   I could file a police report and a claim to the city but without proof, the city would decline our case and not cover the cost of repair.   It's just another day in paradise...LOL.

The Rant Show

 Dom made it to and from safely from his solo trip to Orlando.   I was grateful we made it safely to and from the airport as well despite the idiots on the road.   Thankfully the hotel that was hosting the Poppy Parker event was literally in the airport itself so he didn't have to step outside.   He enjoyed himself but was definitely pooped with the jet-set to and from travel less than 24 hours.

I'm continuing to feel the financial pinch from Dom and he's yet to carry out any of the plans he's discussed doing which includes tutoring kids or selling any of his ginormous doll collection.   I keep bugging him periodically to take action but he is still taking his sweet time.  

He mentioned possibly looking into getting disability payments.   Since he is out of work and he's hit roadblocks on getting hired, it would make sense.    He says he will pursue this in January.  I mentioned it to Tasha and she reminded me that a friend of hers signed up for disability and it has been a godsend for her.   I'm praying the Orange administration doesn't mess up the process.   We shall see.

 I do pray that I can hang on to my job.   It continues to be stressful and they are throwing Developer Support cases at me even though I pushed back against it.   I believe what's happening is that with the layoffs, we've had to do more with less people.   I have at least a dozen Severity 1 cases in my docket.   It's been a juggling job and by the end of the day I'm exhausted.    It is possible to be grateful but stressed, right?   

On the bright side Centier bought me two positive pieces of news.  First, they finally credited our joint account for the September 5th hack.   I was able to put some of it towards bringing down the mortgage which is now $8400.    Speaking of the mortgage, I got some better than expected news that the monthly mortgage payment is increasing by only a little over $4.   So that means taxes and insurance haven't increased much.   That's compared to last year when my monthly payment increased by over $100 a month.  I guess they're giving me a tiny break.

If I can just hang on for another six to eight months at the job, I should be close to having the mortgage completely paid off.   That'll give me some breathing room to better manage Dom's expenses.   If only I could rein in his spending, we'd actually be fine.   Let me be a cautionary tale for choosing your partner wisely.   I chose wisely for love but that's only one part of the equation (even if it's a big part).    But it is definitely ideal to have a partner that has similar financial goals in life.    Why do spenders and savers connect together?    Two savers is definitely the ideal situation (for me as a saver at least).   Two spenders would be a complete disaster (though with Dom that would be his ideal situation - till the debt creeps in).

But life throws things in perspective.   Last night Dom got a call from his niece Lexie telling him that his Mom had a cranial hemorrhage (brain bleed).   She was actually flown by helicopter to a hospital in Fort Wayne.   She's in ICU but thankfully is in recovery.

As much as Dom and I clash, his Mom's episode reminds me that there is more to life than finances.  Life truly is too short.

Another Layoff Round

 My company chose to layoff several thousand more co-workers last week.  I wasn't let go but given the state of the economy today and Dom not working, it has me more concerned.   I really don't feel very secure and the latest layoffs have me further on edge.    I'm feeling extra stressed since everything is falling on me financially.   If I lose my job we'll be in trouble.   

I already have some expenses that I need to deal with.   Dom is wanting more money for more pre-order doll stuff that's coming in.   I've already had to pay over $1400 for his crap.   That part is very frustrating since it's not a need.   Also I was hoping the money we lost from the hack would be credited.   But I found out that the investigation could take anywhere from 30 - 90 days and then our balance would be credited. So in the meantime I won't be able to make an extra payment for the mortgage.    So that puts me a month behind from the goal I had to pay off the mortgage.

I have a couple household expenses that I need to pay for as well.   One for a leaking sink and another for a garage door that won't close properly.   I also need to start paying for the new fridge we had to get.   I'm very stretched right now.

I usually plan a birthday trip but I haven't planned anything and it's probably a good thing.  I really can't afford to spend more money for a hotel and flight.    It's good at least we did Mackinac Island this year though now I have to hear how Dom wants us to retire there...LOL.   He's insane.   Plus he doesn't understand the concept of saving money so I don't know how he plans on paying for it.   That's right, I have to.   The hell I do.   But that's another rant.

But yeah I'm struggling financially and sadly I may not be able to pay my credit card balance in full this month.   My total balance is over $3200 already and I still have 9 days left on the billing cycle.   I'll have to pay interest fees for the first time since 2023 if I can't pay it off.   I may just have to dip into my dwindling savings which is now below $12K (and sinking).   

It's depressing to think about.   But all I can do is pray and hope I can hold on to my job.   And maybe win a small fortune...LOL.

Just Another Sad Dom Song

 Our joint account wound up getting hacked last Thursday.   I put an alert for Centier to send me an alert if the joint account balance falls below $120.   I've had it go off several times since I've set it up.    But I was peeved when the alert came out last Thursday.   I was almost home from work when it came.   I was expecting my balance to be over $600 since I transferred some cash over in anticipation of paying the mortgage which was due the next day.

I was thinking the worst of Dom not believing he spent over $500 for something.   I asked Dom what was going on but he said he only spent $70.    I decided to log in and check out the transactions to see if my transfer came through.   I confirmed that it did indeed come through but so did two fraudulent entries, one for $250 and another for $400.   The entries were from something identified as Gemini which we later learned was supposedly crypto transactions.

I immediately called the bank who of course had to speak to Dom since the transactions came from his card.   We had a similar incident happen less than a year ago.   What annoys me is that Dom makes so many purchases related to his doll hobby.   It's likely one of the sites he went to may not be 100% secure.  I have a hard time making heads or tails of his purchases.   

At the end of the day it's his hobby.   But I wish he didn't spend almost his whole paycheck on it, which right now is nothing.   He seems to have given up on finding anything.   He did apply for unemployment but I sill question if they would pay him or not.   He mentioned it would be $300 something though I'm not clear if it's every week or every other week.   I believe I was collecting a paycheck once every two weeks for only about $300 - $400.    

We would have to go to the bank to get the disputed transactions removed from our account.   We did that this past Saturday even though it doesn't come off right away.   We also both decided to get new bank cards.   I really didn't need to get one since I only use my card to deposit cash at the ATM whenever Dom gets the balance below $120.

 I checked today to see if the Gemini balances were credited to our account and it's still not.  The saving grace is that I deposited an extra $600 for Friday that originally was supposed to be the extra payment but wound up being my primary mortgage payment.   Otherwise we would've been late for the mortgage.

I have to wait for the fraudulent payments to be cleared out so I can get the original $600 back so I can then put an extra payment on the mortgage like I had originally planned.

So when looking to see if the transactions were removed, wouldn't you know Dom is already using the new debit card for doll purchases.   Some things will never change but I can't believe that he's still buying frivolous stuff when he's not collecting income.   I can see it now, his unemployment will be spent on dolls and maybe a few groceries...LOL

I said it before but choose your mate wisely.   They'll either work to help build things up or they'll try to bring you down with them.   I do love Dom despite his ways but if I knew I'd be dealing with this drama,  I may have had second thoughts.   The saving grace with Dom is that he's a good person with a good heart.   I still wish he picked up some financial sense along the way, though.   But I'll have to be that person for both of us.

I know I've complained about it before.   I felt awful because I even complained to my boss briefly about it in our one-on-one but then felt bad.   I guess I needed an outlet.   

School Haze

The 25-26 School year officially kicked off on the second week of August which was on 08/11.   The school system Dom worked at unfortunately has been playing games and Dom was not set up to select substitute jobs on the system.   So he hasn't been working for almost three weeks now.

Let me back up a bit to explain what led to this mess.   Back in April Dom sent an email to the administration of the school saying that he was looking into possibly becoming a sub teacher for the 25-26 school year.   Towards the end of the year, Dom thought about and changed direction and mentioned that he wanted to return as a teacher.   A member of the admin team which Dom clashed with in the past said that since he sent a letter to the admin expressing looking into being a sub teacher that they would consider the letter to be a letter of resignation and he would not be returning as a teacher.   Dom was livid.

He was weighing out his options all summer and decided that he would come back to the school as a sub.  So there was no preparation done by the admin to allow him to pick up sub positions and that is where we're at.

The first day of the new school year, Dom reached out to the principal and they talked about the letter.   Principal claimed to agree with Dom that the letter he sent was not a resignation letter.   He mentioned that the school board was having a meeting the next day.   The principal stated that during the board meeting they would discuss reinstating Dom as a teacher.

It just so happened that the board meetings are recorded on YouTube.   We both watched the video and there was no mention of Dom at all.   Nobody from the school reached back to Dom and he still isn't able to sign up for sub classes.

So he applied for another teaching position at a different school and he's been getting the run around from that place as well.   Supposedly they are "desperate" to fill the position.    He reached back to the admin of the new school a few days later and they said that the principal would need to schedule a time for the interview.

Dom's planning to head to the unemployment office today to see his options.   The thing is he wasn't fired from the job, they just chose not to set him up for subbing or reinstate him as a teacher.   So I'm not sure what the unemployment office will be able to do.

In the meantime Dom's had a bunch of his expensive doll orders coming in that I've had to cover.  It's been frustrating but I thank goodness that I'm able to (for now).   But he is really needing to stop doing anything else or actually sell some of what he has until the job situation is resolved.   Preferably he should stop even after getting a job and try to save more.    But I know that won't happen.

Thank goodness I'm not a huge spender and do not spend my whole paycheck.   If we both were spenders we'd be in trouble.    But it is nonetheless frustrating.

Forced Rearrangements

 About two or three years back, Dom and I were discussing making some rearrangements in our kitchen and kitchen nook rooms.    To start the kitchen itself is a very tiny one.   Dom and I can barely maneuver around that space when one of us is washing dishes (usually me) and the other may need to go over to a shelf near the back or pull something out of the fridge.    The entryway is also made narrow by an angled shelving unit that was added to make more storage space.

The nook area is slightly larger, about the size of a small bedroom.   But it lacked the extra space to store food items or various smaller appliances that were needed.    We had a tall metal shelving unit in our basement that we thought would be better suited to go into the kitchen where the fridge resided.

In the nook area, we had an old rolling shelving unit Dom owned that was occupying one side of the nook area and another wider shelving unit on the other side.   We discussed moving the fridge over to where the old shelving unit was.

We also had an old wooden table that I owned with chairs that was in the middle of the nook.   It unfortunately was overflowing with food boxes, storage containers, pots, and other random items.   We also had various other items like extra bags from Trader Joe's and Whole Foods as well as packs of towel papers surrounded the table and some under the table.   In short it was a mess.

On one of our few trips to Ikea, we saw a free-standing wooden kitchen island with an overhang for pots and pans that we thought would be perfect to replace the wooden table and provide some additional storage.   Ikea wanted around $600 for the set which we thought was a bit high.   We said that we would save up for it.

So we made slow progress of making any changes at all.   Dom was also starting his descent into having health issues, including not being able to walk like he used to.    Over the course of a few weekends, I decided that I would work on moving the tall metal shelving unit from the basement to the nook area where the old rolling shelving unit was.

I didn't mention that the metal shelving unit was full of other stuff that was added to it over the years.  So I had to work on removing everything from the shelves before I could move it.   So I basically worked to find new places to put those items.   Dom happened to get some folding tables that he originally was planning for his dolls that made a perfect spot to put some of the items.   Other items were placed on smaller tables or cabinets nearby that were available.

It was another weekend or so before I finally attempted to move the metal shelving.   I tried maneuvering it around the stairs but it was too tall to angle it around the next level of stairs, even after opening the back door that served as the midpoint between the basement and main floor.   I realized that I would have to bring it in through the front door.

It was a bit unwieldly but I managed to bring it over from the back of the house all the way to the front.   I used the sliding washer to keep the front screen door open as I hoisted it over the front stairs and bought it in the house.    It made its way into the main hallway where it remained for another week or so.   During that time I cleaned it off the best way I could.

The plan with the old rolling shelving unit was to move it into the basement where the tall metal shelving unit used to be.   But alas that did not happen.   It wound up being moved into the main hallway while the metal shelving made its way to where the old rolling shelving used to be.

Things remained that way for another six months or so.   When Dom and I went to the Chante Moore concert in Joliet, we went to Ikea the next morning.   We once again saw the free-standing wooden kitchen island which reinspired us.   But I couldn't bring myself to paying $600 for it.

Something told me to check out Amazon.   I was glad I did.   I was able to find another unit which included two stools for just under $200, more than a 66% savings.   The only wood part was the table itself and the wood was much thinner than the Ikea brand.   But it boasted two overhead shelves in addition to hooks over a bar to hang up to a dozen pots and pans.   I was especially happy about that since a lot of our pots and pans made their home on the stove.

So I purchased the Amazon unit and then worked to dismantle the old wooden table and moved it into the basement (where it now resides in the laundry room).   The unit arrived but before putting it together, I cleaned up the area since it was full of dust and cobwebs that settled over the time the table was there.

Dom and I were able to put the unit together in about 2 hours and we were so proud of the results and how it looks.   We vowed not to fill the wooden table with junk.    We were good for about 3 months but unfortunately that promise went out the window.

So the only remaining steps were to somehow move our existing fridge from the kitchen over to the nook area where the metal shelving now resided and then move the metal shelving where the fridge resided.

We weren't really in a hurry to make the switch since it was a hassle even getting the fridge into the kitchen with the tiny opening and angled shelving.

Life of course has a funny way of making things happen.   A week ago Dom started telling me that the fridge was not as cool as it used to be.   I tried moving things around the freezer to open up the airways thinking they were being blocked.   That didn't work.   I tried adjusting the temperature of the fridge and that didn't work.    In the meantime the fridge was slowly dying and the freezer was getting colder and colder.

We decided that it was time to get a new fridge.   We settled on Home Depot after by coincidence his Mom and nieces purchased a new fridge there after their fridge broke down.    We had the standard top freezer fridge that almost made it eight years.    When we first moved in we inherited a french door fridge which we hated.   We mostly weren't a fan of the freezer which always seemed to run out of space.   It wound up having issues after a year and a half and we wound up getting the top freezer from a Sears Outlet store.

We settled on a side-by-side model that I thought would work for us.   With the limited space, I thought the 33 width model would work for us.   The space around the fridge could only fit a 34 width model, not the standard 36 width model fridges that are usually designed.   Delivery of that model was today.    The younger of the two delivery folks came in and did measurements and after consulting with the older partner, they concluded that the fridge would not fit in the narrow area.   While I accounted for the width of the final fridge space, I didn't account for the entryway space.   

I was going back and forth in my mind what to do.   They were suggesting I just get a top-freezer instead.    The funny thing is like I said earlier, Dom and I discussed having our fridge (before it died) move over to the nook area.   Dom however wasn't feeling that idea anymore for some reason.

But we needed a fridge so knew we would have to scramble.   If we went with their suggestion, they would be happy because they wouldn't have to hoist the new one.   However it would likely be another week or so before another fridge would be ready.    Also we really wanted to try the side-by-side fridge.

We agreed to have them place the new fridge in another part of the nook area and then remove the old one.    Removing the old one proved to be a challenge.   For some reason they could not get it to fit squarely through the angled shelving.

The older delivery guy was trying to get me to agree that they did all they could.   I wasn't certain they did and Dom was trying to point that out as well.   But I was resigning that we would have to quickly move things around but still be stuck with a dead fridge in the kitchen without doors.  The older guy suggested we get someone to saw it in half.    But that made no sense.  

Finally I asked them if we cleared out the sink area and the angled shelving, would they be willing to slide out the fridge that way.    They were against it but I offered them $100 each if they would do so.   Dom wasn't thrilled about it but they went along with it as long as I accepted responsibility for any damages.  Money talks.  Thankfully they were able to get it out.   Sadly I only had $184 total in my wallet which they accepted.    That was a mess but I'm glad we don't have to deal with the old fridge just sitting there unused.

 So in the end we wound up rearranging the old metal shelving to go where the old fridge was and the new fridge is now where the old metal shelving resided.   It's funny how things almost are where we were talking about having them a few years back.   Now will the old rolling shelving unit ever make its way to the basement.   That's a problem for another day.

We're slowly rearranging things back in place and the new fridge is cooling off nicely.   After this post I will be getting ready to head out to the church for their open-mic karaoke night.   I need to sing my heart Louise after the day I had.

Put It In My What?

 

This post will be short and sweet.  So this random Diddy came up in a YouTube search.   The title of course gave me a double take.  According to the video, the artist name is Mimi Sinclaire.   However upon searching for the artist name, I learned there's no such artist.   Furthermore the song was generated by AI to sound like something that was sung in the 40's with the most controversial words.   I guess I should've known if homosexuality and racial equality were not the norm in the 1940's, why would I expect talk about taking a dick in the ass to be something that was sung.

This AI is fascinating and scary at the same time.   With just one image, you can make someone do something that they normally would not do or say.    But like it or not it's a part of our lives now.   I just have to continue to navigate through it and hope AI doesn't fool me into thinking something is real when it's not.

Future Mini E

 Sometimes I find myself reflecting on my life and I feel sad.   Don't get me wrong.   I have lived a great life with a mostly good career, decent finances, plenty of travel and adventures, and I did later find love with Dom.   But the one thing I did not have were children of my own.   A part of me wanted to experience the ups and downs of fatherhood and hope that I did things right with my kids.   Dom and I actually expressed how we wished we had met 20 years or so back.   He himself wanted to have a family but didn't have anyone to have it with.   But would we have been right for each other that time?    We'll never know.   But I do feel that we were meant to be in each other's lives one way or another.  I shudder to think how our lives would've been had we not met.

2002 was around the time I began thinking of kids.   Part of that was my guilt of being the only son and not having a male child to carry on the family name.   But at that time too I was just beginning to figure things out about my sexuality.   I remember doing research on different surrogacy programs and hearing about one in India that for $20K upfront and an additional $20K afterwards, provided an Indian surrogate who would carry your baby in her womb and then after the baby is born, you would have to go through the process of bringing your child back into U.S. soil.     One of the interesting (and prejudicial after I gave it more thought) options they had was that for an extra fee, you could opt for a Caucasian lady surrogate.   Heaven forbid a white person wants to have a Indian lady carrying their fetus.

The cost pretty much stopped me from going that route.   Plus I didn't have a partner at that time so I would have been the sole parent.   Had I still lived in the Detroit area, I may have thought about a bit more as I would've had my family nearby (though I'm sure my parents especially would have a thing to say about that option...*LOL*).  As an aside, I confirmed last year that my current company offers money assistance for surrogacy support if a person wants to have a child.    If only that was a thing 23 years ago when I looked at the surrogacy program.    Who knows if I would've had an adult child now?   Obviously now I'm past the point where I want to have the responsibility of caring for a child.   If I were to start now, my future E would be born in February 2026 and by the time they turned 18, I would be 71 or 72 years old (God willing).

The second time I recalled wanting to have a child was when I was dating Rock back in 2006.   Rock and I of course had other issues but I did discuss the possibility with him.   Rock was in his early 40's and in his mind he thought it was too late to entertain the thought of having kids.   That probably was a good thing too since we wound up breaking up in 2008.

I didn't give up on the dream entirely after that hoping that perhaps in a couple years I would find a like minded individual.   That never did happen.   I met Dom in September 2014 and when we discussed kids he told me that he was not looking to start a family as he was too old (early 50's...where I am now).   I decided that I may not find the right person and just see where things took us.   Almost eleven years later, it took us to living together (2016) and marriage (2022).

I don't regret it though once in a blue moon, I think of what could've been.   Once my sisters and I leave this world, our specific branch will officially end.    But obviously it won't be completely gone as my parents' siblings had kids who had their own kids (and I'm sure some of those kids may have a kid...LOL).   So barring the end of the world, the family name will live on.

But it got me thinking that I wanted to reach out to Sally and no_the_game (who I haven't chatted with in a while) to see if I could gift the children in their lives with a small investment in some stocks or ETFs that will hopefully appreciate in price by the time they grow up.    Sally is the proud grand-aunt of three beautiful grand-nieces and no_the_game has a handsome son that's about to turn 11.   It would just be a way of leaving a small legacy and perhaps by the time they're adults, the shares could turn into a car fund or help pay for groceries.   I would not expect anything in return.   But I think it would be a nice thing to do.   I'll have to save up some cash but I think it'll be a good thing.

To my future Mini E, I'm sorry that I didn't get to meet you in this lifetime.    But perhaps as Erykah Badu would say, maybe I'll see you Next Lifetime.

Commissioned Out

 Dom has been missing a lot of work these days.    He's already been counting the days till his retirement.  As a high school math teacher, he's been complaining on the daily about misbehaving students who do not understand even the basic math equations.   He's been dealing with a lot of health issues as well which has caused him to missed days.   For the third or fourth school year in a row, he has maxed out on his allotted sick day time off so each time he misses a day now, he doesn't get paid for that day.   He's also started ordering more doll crap based on various shows like Wednesday (every company that makes a likeness of the Wednesday Adam doll, he has to order) and of course Wicked.   He's been pissing me off there because he's had me stay home on certain days because he doesn't want his packages staying out in the cold too long.   Of course I have to juggle my home days with my return to office mandate that dictates I have to be in the office 3 days a week.   It's so stupid since I can do my job at home but I need the paycheck especially since I'm responsible for the majority of the household bills and for both of our health insurance costs.   So I gotta play the game till they decide to lay me off or a better opportunity comes along.

So I'm home today for work because of more packages (I went to the office Monday & Wednesday so far and will go in tomorrow to make my 3 days).   However he wound up staying home too because he's been experiencing pain in his left shoulder and his hands continue to ache from carpal tunnel.   I would've went in to the office today but I woke up a little later and didn't feel like rushing to get out of the house.  I had already set up my makeshift office as well.

I hate that he's back to spending money unnecessarily (in my opinion),especially since he's not working full-time.   He keeps talking about slowing his spending and decluttering his collection.   I continue to feel frustrated seeing how cluttered our whole house is.    Every room is full of junk.   I just imagine if he didn't spend the little money he has on this stuff, we could've had the mortgage paid off by now.   Even if he gave $200 a month to put into the mortgage, that would quickly add up over time.   But I'm managing to pay the necessary bills each month and continue to pay off my credit card bills.   I was glad to keep my total credit card payments to just under $2000 this pay period.   $3000 is the goal I usually have (this includes gas, insurance, food, transportation toll fees, and other miscellaneous items) so I exceeded my goal.   Last pay period I was slightly over $3000 so that varies.  

Speaking of credit cards, he still doesn't know yet that I canceled his one card.   I will probably add him back again.   I was just extremely frustrated at that time how he used the card for a non-emergency expense and didn't bother to tell me.  

Dom was told he would need to have carpal tunnel surgery on both his hands to alleviate the pain he's experiencing.   He was hoping to push that off till June but he's thinking he may need it sooner.   He's been wearing hand braces at night to try and help ease the pain.    But it doesn't always help and he also is noticing weakness in his shoulder muscles. 

He also mentioned Tuesday that he had a kidney stone that caused him to not be able to pee initially.  He was going to head to the E.R. but luckily he was able to push the stone out.   I too may have had a small stone a few weeks back as I was experiencing weak urine flow.   But that has since passed.  The joy of being older, right?   We're continuing to push through this thing called life.   I just needed to vent again.

More Layoff Blues

 I found out today that my company did yet another round of layoffs.   It gutted me to learn that two of my colleagues were impacted.    I saw an article last week from a random business periodical mentioning my company was letting some resources go.   

I had my weekly one-on-one with my manager scheduled for today.   She initially messaged me with the cryptic message of joining a meeting in 9 minutes.   I thought she was referring to our one-on-one initially.  But then she mentioned moving the meeting to another time because she didn't receive responses from other team members.   I then asked if our weekly team meeting was being moved to Tuesday.   She gave the affirmative but I never saw a link.

She wound up meeting with me one-on-one afterwards.   She didn't say anything right away but I could tell her mood seemed off.   I went over my list of topics unaware of the layoff at that time.  I then mentioned the article that I saw and asked if we would be impacted.   That's when I learned of the team members that were already impacted.

It just makes me sick to see how these companies just willy nilly let people go to save money to cover the higher up salaries and make stockholders (which I guess I am part of) happy.    Our Orange leader tried to mess up the stock market with his stupid tariff wars on Canada and Mexico.   Those were cancelled but not before China retaliated against tariffs on them with their own tariffs.   What a mess.

It's hard to believe a year ago I was celebrating a promotion.  That came a year after additional layoffs.  One of my colleagues affected was also someone that got promoted at the same time I was.   What both my colleagues had in common was that they were fully remote employees with long-time tenure at the company.

I'm really praying I can get my financial life in order before I get impacted.   I was hoping to make it at this place till 2033 but I may not last even through 2025 the way things are going.    My manager did say that this seemed to be the last of it.   But we truly do not know.  It's the last for now but who knows what the future holds.  Uggh.

Girls5eva No More

 

I briefly posted last year about a show I first started watching on streaming platform Peacock that actually introduced me to Peacock.   At the time I did not have a subscription but somehow the show Girls5eva caught my attention.   Since I didn't have a subscription I was only able to watch the first episode for free.  It was all I needed to get hooked.   I enjoyed the characters of Dawn, Wickie, Summer, Gloria, and sometimes Ashley (at least in flashbacks since her character died falling from the edge of an infinity pool...LOL).   The premise was that the remaining ladies reunite and try to get their 90's girl band back together after a popular rap artist samples one of their old hits.

Since I wasn't able to watch the remaining episodes, I would find other sources to get tidbits on the show.   These included message boards like PRIMETIMER, the descendant from the now deceased Television Without Pity boards.

Once Season 2 rolled over on Peacock, I told myself if I passed my latest Salesforce Certification, that I would treat myself by buying a subscription to Peacock so I could watch the full show.   I thankfully passed and quickly purchased it so I could watch the rest of Season 1 and then Season 2.   I even got Dom hooked on the show (the same way I got him hooked on Schitt's Creek...LOL).   The jokes on the show were so funny to me and I enjoyed seeing the ladies journey as they clawed their way back to stardom.

But Peacock wound up cancelling the show.   However, Netflix saved the show by adding it to their roster.   It took another year and a half before 6 new episodes were added.    It was disappointing that the number of episodes were reduced from 8 to 6.    But it was nice having the show back on the air.

My favorite character out of the main 4 protagonists was actress Renee Elise Goldsberry's Wickie.   Wickie was that vapid character that in her mind's eye was the cat's meow.   She always had to do things to make her stand out from the other group members.   Be it doing extra vocal acrobatics during their various songs or making everything about her.

Wickie had so many funny one-liners as well.   She made it all about her from her first entrance in the show.   

"Cease and desist, bitch!"

"I finally get empathy.  It's when you feel sad for others because the same thing's happening to you."

"I think being a publicist is mostly about having a phone."

"I cannot disclose the size of the man I'm meeting, I signed an NDA with the NBA on TNT."

"Normal almost destroyed me, Dawn.  Never again."

"Fine.  But you should know I've never lost at singing...except once as a minor, so those records are sealed."

The actress Renee has been in numerous shows, movies, and theatrical performances through the years.   Going through her resume on IMDB, I didn't realize that she guest-starred on a few shows that I've watched over the years, like Ally McBeal and The Good Wife.   I'll have to rewatch some of those episodes to see her early works.   She first came to my attention when Dom and I went to see Hamilton in 2020.   She played Angelica Schuyler, the eldest no-nonsense sister of Eliza, the future wife of Alexander Hamilton.   I enjoyed her performance there and then I saw her guest star on the show Evil who's main character David played a drug dealer villain on the Good Wife.   She played the temptress of David who was studying to be a priest.   

She also played a role on the futuristic Netflix show Altered Carbon which shows characters jumping into literal "human body" suits to give themselves different looks.

This past November I drove to South Bend to see an independent film called Albany Road.   She played ad executive Celeste who agrees to travel from New York to Washington D.C. where she needs to meet with a potential backer who can save the fledging ad company from going belly up.   Celeste used to live in D.C and flashes back to a significant relationship she had there that ended when her present employment came up.   She runs in her ex's mother at the airport and comedy ensues as the two wind up forced to drive together due to flights being canceled for bad weather and car rentals running out of cars.   The highlight of the movie was getting to see Renee interact with the legendary Lynn Whitfield.

I saw the two actresses interview on the Sherry Shephard show and one of the things asked was about the fate of Girls5eva.   Renee was beaming when talking about the show and expressing hope that it would be renewed.   The whole interview was a delight to see and the movie was excellent.   It's sad that it's not getting the promotion like bigger movies but that's the lot that independent movies have to deal with.   At the theatre I saw it, there were only 3 other people watching.   I do hope that it makes its way to DVD or streaming so I can rewatch it again.   

It's possible that Renee may have already known the fate of the show.   But she put on a brave face when talking about it and I was convinced that she was hoping that it would get renewed.

I'm so pissed at Netflix.   But alas there's not much that can be done.  Unless a third network tries to rescue it but that's not happening.   The actors no doubt will be moving on to new projects.   I will continue to watch the show before Netflix takes it out of rotation completely.   I do hope though that maybe they'll do a limited series follow-up if there's enough outcry.   But I'm not holding my breath for that.   I do look forward to seeing what Renee and the other actors on the show do next.