The Midas Shock

 So as I've mentioned before Midas and I periodically keep in contact with each other to see how things are going.   Hemingway I confided in Midas about how hurt I was regarding the recent passing of Dom's father and how his sister Marie likely was the person who didn't want me included in the obituary.  

Well it turned out that I was wrong.   It was actually Dom's Mom who didn't want me added.   I felt horrible about thinking it was his sister but thankfully I didn't have the conversation with his sister so no foul, no harm.    Oddly enough I'm not as bothered by his Mom being behind the request.   She's been nothing but nice to me over the years.    Apparently she's of the school of "love the sinner not the sin"...LOL.   Of course I don't agree that being gay is a sin but there isn't a way we'll be able to change her mind, just like she wouldn't be able to change my mind.

Nonetheless the omission did cause Dom to be hurt.   I do feel his pain and at the end of the day he had to balance not hurting his Mom any worse than she was feeling about losing her husband, which was why he didn't push it further.   Thankfully I was able to sign the guestbook after all as well.

So I shared this update with Midas as well.   He made the comment that if something happened to Dom, the family may treat me horribly.   I pointed out to Midas that I would call the shots since Dom and I legally wed last July.

Midas was stunned by the news.   I realized that I didn't mention my plans to him.   There was a small part of me that held out hope that Midas and I may have married (assuming we actually were in a relationship).    But marriage was not anything he ever had any interest in.   Plus Dom and I have been together for almost a decade before deciding to marry.   Sure I fantasized about Midas running to me and declaring that he was wrong for letting me walk away all those years ago and that he realized the errors of his ways.   Then he would sweep me off my feet and we'd make passionate love.   But in reality I didn't imagine Midas would make some grand gesture like that to try and "win" me.   If he did, I ultimately would still have chosen Dom since I love Dom despite all the issues we have.   Midas and I would have our own set of issues if I went to him.   The grass always seems greener on the other side until you get to the other side.

A part of me will always wonder, what if.   I truly do feel like Midas was the one that got away.   But I can't live my life on what if's.   I love both Dom and Midas and I am grateful to have both in my life.