Blooming Gay

 Dom and I were discussing once again our experiences when we first explored being gay.    It was interesting how our experiences contrasted.   Dom always reported auditioning a cast of 1000's before we finally crossed paths.    My casting number was much lower.    If I think about it, I may have had a cast of 100's if I was lucky.   I did blog over the years about some of that cast.

Part of it of course has to do with physicality.   Dom was a taller, beefier guy at that time with an incredible body.    He has old pics of himself wearing tight leather clothes with his bare chest and abs open.    When he lived in San Francisco, he talked about walking down Castro and being picked up by other guys.

I was a "skinny-fat" gay guy when I was first exploring my attraction.   I rarely socialized and relied more on social sites like Adam4Adam, Bear411, SilverDaddy, and Craigslist to try and meet guys.   And because of my physicality, I had a more challenging time trying to find guys that were into me.

Race no doubt played a part in it as well.   Even though Dom disagrees with me (which when you never had any challenges with meeting guys, how would you know), his being white made it easier to find other guys when that itch hit.   Being black I feel made it harder for me to find connections.   There are a lot of discussions from other gay black men about their experiences in trying to hook up as well as the racism received from white gays.    

What didn't help me as well was when I started exploring my gay side way back in 2002, I found myself living in a townhouse in the Chicago suburbs.   I moved in the Chicago burb of Des Plaines, IL in 1997 and found myself working in another burb of Chicago.   My former work colleague Stan was very much into real estate.    He was always touting about the importance of home ownership in building equity.   He owned several small apartment buildings and homes that he was collecting rent from.   

He encouraged me to buy a home since I was planning to stay in the area for at least 5 years.   Of course I wanted to live somewhere that was near my job.    What I didn't consider was that Stan himself was married with a young child at the time and another on the way a few years later.     I was single and prior to 2002, never had sex with anyone, man or woman.    I was in my mid-20's when it probably made sense to live in the city proper and in an apartment so I could have the flexibility to move when better opportunities came along.

Instead I wound up buying a townhouse in 2000.  Ironically I wound up living in the same burb that Stan and his family lived at.   I found myself being the only black and later gay guy on the block.   My nearest neighbors were relatively nice but I couldn't help but feel out of place there.   I was never really happy.

So I first decided to explore my gay side in 2002.   I had broken up with the one and only girlfriend I had.   I was getting used to the social sites.   I decided for some reason that my first time would need to be with an escort.   I found a muscular Hungarian guy living in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago.   I believe we agreed on $150 for our sexual liaison.   The plan was to meet on Halloween 2002.

So I found myself leaving my suburban townhome sometime at 11pm and making the 40 minute or so trek to Lakeview.   Along the way I drove down Irving Park street and couldn't help but notice random folks parading the street in various costumes.

I remember having a hard time finding parking (that's anytime driving in Chicago).   I ended up parking in a small lot around Lake Shore Drive and walking the few blocks to HG's apartment.   To say I was nervous was an understatement.   I was also excited as I anticipated finally losing my virginity.

I vaguely remember HG and I conversing and him expressing disbelief that I was using him as my first experience.   I remember he offered me orange juice.   That may not have been wise but thankfully I wasn't drugged...LOL.   Then he led me to his lair.   I remember us making out and him later using his body to pin me on the bed as he inserted his manhood and fucked me proper.   After we got off, he made it a point to say that we weren't done.    We briefly rested before he started fucking me again.

I remember being very satisfied.   We talked for a bit but I could tell that the time to leave was getting near.    But nonetheless that was my introduction to the gay experience.    I knew then and there, I would not be going back to women.   Not that I really was with any women.   

I remember I had a few other escorts over the years that came to my home.    But aside from escorts, trying to meet guys to date was especially challenging.   If they lived in Chicago, you could forget about it.   One thing about being in Chicago, there are a lot more options out there.   The majority of the guys in the burbs I found were married or partnered which given the cookie cutter homes that were designed for families, made sense.

It wouldn't be until 2006 when I would finally have my first boyfriend in Rock.   I've blogged about him a lot in my old blogger.    He lived in Rockford, IL (hence his nickname Rock) and we managed to last almost two years before I called it quits.   It wasn't the perfect relationship (what is) but it was nice to experience having an actual boyfriend.   I definitely appreciate that time in my life looking back.

So I was completely out of place in my suburban townhome.   I can say I was never really comfortable or happy there.   I was happy when I finally moved out of there after living there 16 years.   I barely broke even when I sold the house.   I had refinanced in the mid 2000's and took out about $20000 in cash that I was hoping to make a good investment on.   I wasted it on stupid penny stocks which wound up going south.    Thankfully my selling price was $37000 higher than my purchase price and covered the loan as well as the cost of fixing the home to put on the market.   I will say I felt like I left there just in the nick of time before Orange started his first term in 2017.

But yeah life is so interesting.   There were some crazy as well as good times.   Everything I went through led me to where I am today so I wouldn't trade a thing.

An Orange You Just Can't Peel

 Apparently the White House is saying there was yet another assassination attempt on Agent Orange.   This time the alleged incident took place Saturday evening at the White House's annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner.    It's interesting to learn the history of the dinner.   It was originated by former president Woodrow Wilson in 1914.   The purpose at the time was to protect press access to the president after rumors that politicians may limit which specific press members could attend briefings.

The irony in that is the current Orange administration has threatened to control which press members are allowed and what they can report on.   So the fact that they were even having the dinner in the climate they have created is shocking in itself.   

In the last few decades of the WHCA, it is tradition to have a comedian roast the president and the press.  As thin-skinned as Orange is, he would definitely would not be able to take any ribbing.  Just look at how he tried to get comedian Jimmy Kimmel fired a few months back.   In fact, Orange did away with that tradition by not inviting any comedians for this year's event.

Kimmel, not happy with Orange doing away with the tradition, decided to have a mock roast.   Orange and Melania were not having this, though.   Orange went so far as to accuse Kimmel of playing a part in the assassination attempt.

Let's back to the attempt.   The WH is saying that a lone gunmen somehow was able to breach security and the president's life was in danger.    There are various videos showing the VP being escorted out first and later the president tripping on the floor as secret service went to take him out of imminent danger.   Other pictures show various Orange advisors like Stephen Miller hiding behind a pregnant spouse.  Incidentally some astute observers couldn't help but notice Orange watching backstage.  If he was in any real danger, wouldn't the secret service have him out of sight in some barricaded room?

Other hilarious videos showed an old man sitting at the table that was unbothered by the commotion and continuing to eat dinner.   Yet another showed a lady grabbing all the alcohol for a post-drink party in a nearby hotel.  

The only thing is later reports say that the gunman was on a different floor.    So Trump was not in any immediate danger.    The lone gunman himself was not shot but a service member was shot though protected by his vest.   Later reports say that he wasn't shot by the gunman but rather another secret service member in friendly fire.    What a shitshow!

So needless to say a lot of folks are calling the attempt a hoax that was staged (like the other Orange attempts).   Adding fuel to that fire is that less than an hour after the alleged attempt happened, Orange was holding a press conference and everyone was all smiles like nothing ever happened.   In the press conference, Orange was demanding his ballroom plans resume as the incident would not have happened if it was in his ballroom.   And this is the current state of the United States!    You can't make this stuff up.   It will be interesting to see what happens with the lone gunman.

Ready For The Kink

 

Nothing much major is happening.   I told Dom about his being served.   It ended up he had received other notices as well so it wasn't much of a surprise.    We went to his health portal billing section and saw that he had some bills that were listed as being sent to the debt collectors.   The total amount was less than half of what the debt collector said he owed and traced back to 2024.   A part of me was wondering if the debt collection is older debt maybe from 2023 and earlier.   Who knows?

We decided to pay (well I used my charge card) a portion of the debt.  I will pay another portion next month.   My card debt is depressing me again but I am remaining a cycle ahead for now so as long as I pay the statement balance at least I will avoid paying interest.

We're also deciding to chance not going to court.   As I alluded to before Dom is not working anymore and doesn't plan to.   So odds are they won't be able to garnish any wages since there are none.   Also Indiana is not a community property state so they can't sue me for it.   The worse they can do is freeze our joint account and his personal account.  But he barely has any money in that account and I only keep it afloat to avoid overdraft on the mortgage. Since our mortgage is tied to the same bank, I will go with the plan to open a separate savings account in my name only so I can continue to pay the mortgage easily.

On the bright side, my long suffering stock Blackberry has finally started making some strides.   The price started rising from $3.50 to well over $5 starting on April 9th.   I sold 10% of my retirement shares at $5.68.   The price has cooled back for a bit and is hovering in the $5.20 - $5.40 range but I'm hoping it'll reach another leg up by the time Q1 2027 closes which should be by end of May.   I'm holding my non-retirement shares for a higher price, ideally $10 or higher.  I've been in BB stock since May 2020 so it's gonna be six years.   So may that'll help me pay off some more of the debt.

As if I need more debt but I purchased theatre tickets for us to see the show Kinky Boots during their Saturday matinee show on June 20th.   Dom's birthday is on the 23rd.   So the show is sort of his birthday present.   We recently watched the movie again and it looks like it'll be a fun show.   So that'll be our first summer activity.    I still want to get him a popcorn maker that he'll hopefully use instead of cooking it in my steel pot.   

We were also talking about going to Dollywood this summer but I feel like that may have to wait since we're also wanting to remodeling our bedroom and get a new bed this year.    The bed will be between one to two thousand and the remodel may cost just as much.    The bedroom has ceiling panels that are falling off so it definitely needs the remodel.   I've started removing some of the panels but Dom and I need to clear out the million or so dolls that are stationed all over the room.

I'm grateful our cars are hanging on even though Tasha was hinting on wanting my car last Christmas.    But I really don't want or need another car note and I don't have enough saved for a down payment just yet.   Of course Blackberry may surprise me in 2026 which would help me greatly.    We shall see.

We've Been Served

I was working from home this past Wednesday.   It was a normal day dealing with crazy customer cases and Dom was slowly waking up to get his quiet day at home started.   He had some doll orders that he was expecting from the Disneystore that was set to arrive that day.    Those arrived mid-morning just when he was downstairs in the basement taking pictures of more of his dolls.    His latest craze he was photographing were characters from Netflix K-Pop Demon Hunters.   These days any cartoon can quickly become Dom's next latest obsession.   Hemingway UPS rang the doorbell and since he was occupied downstairs, I went to pick up his packages.   

When I opened the main door, I saw there were some folded papers that were stapled and wrapped in a rubber band that was wedged between the screen door.    I first bought in his packages (two big boxes) since it was slightly drizzling outside and didn't want them to get wet further.   I then went back and grabbed the papers.

The first thing I saw was "Notice Of Claim" written in big capital letters on the very top of the page.  As I looked further I saw that Dom was served from the local Sheriff's office regarding a claim from his hospital that was sent to collections saying that the collector filed a motion with the Sheriff's office and Dom's court date is scheduled for 05/11 at 1pm.   

As I looked through the pages I was wondering if this was something we needed to worry about.  I saw what looked like a docket number and then a mention of interest owed for the debt in the amount of over $1100 dollars which along with the $115 filing fee and the principal balance of $4300 totaled approximately $5600.   I verified on the court website using the docket number that it was indeed filed with the court.

I haven't told Dom about it yet but he has received plenty of letters in the past from debt collectors which he's brushed aside.   I'm not sure he can ignore this one though.   I used ChatGPT to get some advice on what should be done.

The suggestion was to send a reply to "deny what debt that is uncertain" which they say forces the plaintiff to present proof.   The reply should include such phrases as “I lack sufficient knowledge to admit the amount” and/or “Plaintiff must prove the debt and amount”.    Doing this they say prevents a default judgment from occurring though that assumes that a court appearance is still made.

According to the advice, it is suggested that the defendant appear in court on that day where things may lead to payment discussions, future court dates, and the burden of the plaintiff to prove that the amount owed is correct.

It's also suggested to try and negotiate a lower payment amount.   It's also advised when filing to send it in person and have it stamped.

The scary thing is that I didn't even hear the person when they left the papers.   I had to check my security doorbell and it showed clearly a black sheriff's car parked in front of our house with a female police officer walking and placing the papers.

I've spoken about it before but I find myself frustrated with Dom's priorities.   His focus always is on what next doll he has to own.   When he was working his small paycheck was usually always spent on doll related things.   The only other thing he would think about getting is groceries.    It left me responsible for covering all the household expenses and other miscellaneous expenses like car insurance, car repair, our entertainment like dinners, plays, concerts, road trips, and other random life expenses that come along.

Now that he's not working, I'm responsible for paying for all of his orders.   You would think not having a job would stop him but I guess as long as I'm around he doesn't care.   He's had several visits and procedures over the years so the total amount could be for everything over that time period.    It never occurred to him to maybe set aside some of his doll money to pay his medical bills.   I've tried to pay for some stuff here and there but I can't be responsible for it all.  It's very upsetting to say the least and his expenses have been slowing down my progress on trying to be more financially independent.

He still hasn't completed filing for disability which he was supposed to do in January.  I wish I could strike from paying his bills but unfortunately he's using my credit cards so I'm stuck having to cover.   I mentioned not being able to pay off the full balance every month.   The upside is right now I am a cycle ahead but if some emergency comes where I have to pay extra, it won't take long before I find myself owing interest again.

I wish there was a way I can hammer home to him the importance of being financially responsible.   But he's about to be 62 and if he hasn't gotten that lesson in his younger years, he won't get it now.  I implore single people to choose their future partner wisely.   I suppose better yet don't get married...LOL.  Your spouse can either be an ally or adversary in your financial goals.    Dom is definitely in the latter category.   I am doing okay but I know I could be doing much better.   

I am trying to brace myself for telling Dom the news and trying to convince him to take it seriously.   But Dom is so lackadaisical about anything that isn't doll related.   He will probably brush this aside too.

The one upside is Dom is not working anymore so if they try to garnish his wages, there won't be able to get anything there.    Also they can't garnish social security or disability (if he ever gets it).   They can freeze his accounts and our joint account which is why I am looking to open an account in my name with Centier so I can continue to use that to pay the mortgage.    Speaking of the mortgage, the lien is in my name only so they won't be able to add a judgment to the house.

Another bright side, he actually sold one of his dolls and got over $300 for it.    If he could sell a dozen more, maybe he can pay some of this debt.

So maybe he should ignore it?   Lord know he's ignored everything else.   I don't know.   What a mess to be in.

I Could've Been Your Cellmate

I was viewing my old blogger entries and came across my Preach It Papa thread.   That thread was an ode to Papa and how I was trying to listen to him more.   I reminisced on how Papa used to put the fear of God in me to the point that I pretty much avoided a lot of the pitfalls that teenagers typically find themselves in.   I also mentioned how I almost could've been in jail.   I mentioned how I'd have to share that tale sometime in a later entry.   I saw that I never did post that tale.   So twenty plus years later, this is the entry.

My near jail experience happened in the summer of 1991.   I was 18 going on 19 and still was relatively wet behind the ears.    I was friends with another teen that attended my family Church.   Marco and I both were altar boys in Church and became fast friends (though we only interacted with each other on Sundays).   

I worked summers at the Church since I was nine years old.   I remember the reason I started working there was because Mama asked Papa to get me out of the house because I was fighting with Tasha and Trina.   I didn't learn to appreciate it until years later as it gave me time to spend with Papa.   It wasn't all smooth as Papa could be difficult but I'm digressing from the main point of this entry.

So the Church had their annual Vacation Bible School event that cumulated over one week.   As part of that event, Papa was given the task of giving the teens (and some of the adults) jobs to do in the Church.   Papa and I both hated that time of year because the teens were unruly and the adults were no better.   So in 1991, Marco was one of the teens that worked with us.   I convinced Papa to keep Marco longer as he was one of the better workers.   So he wound up working with us for a bit past the VBS period.

Hemingway one Saturday the Church had some kind of dance that I believe was sponsored by our Church's local Knights of Peter Claver Chapter.   Being the awkward teen and now at that time young adult, the last thing I wanted to do was go to a dance.   Marco, however, had an idea of somewhere we could go but use the dance as a cover.    The plan was for us to meet at the Church and he along with another friend of his would drive to Windsor to visit a strip club there.

As I reminisce about this now I have to laugh thinking about me being in a strip bar giving women money.  Actually years later I would wind up going to a strip bar in Chicago with a former co-worker of mine and losing my lady stripper virginity there.    That was sometime in the early 2000's where I was still trying to figure things out and hadn't gone down the path where I was exploring my attraction to men.   That wouldn't be until Halloween 2002.    But that's for another post.   (Ha...see what I did there?)

I needed to borrow Papa's car to get to the Church that night.   It was easy to tell him that I was going to the Church.   It wasn't a complete lie.    He let me borrow the car.

So I get at the Church and I'm sitting around waiting for Marco and his friend to show up.   It goes on an hour or two and there's no sign of them.   We didn't have cellphones back then.  There was a payphone inside the Activity Center where the event was being held.   I had some spare change and called Marco but he didn't answer.   Now that I think about it, if he was out I wouldn't have been able to reach him.   But I wasn't thinking of that.   I waited a little bit longer and after awhile I drove back home.   Man I was so square, I probably could've made my own entertainment but remember I was socially awkward (and there wasn't a casino back then I could go to...though I wasn't a casino whore back in 1991 either).   So the thought of entertaining myself somewhere made me uncomfortable.

Needless to say I was pissed.   Marco came to work Monday and I let him have it.   It was then that he told me why he was a no-show.    He mentioned that his friend wanted to stop at a Detroit club beforehand for some drinks and debauchery.   The friend took interest in a girl that was already taken by another guy.   A fight ensued between the guys and their friends so Marco had to step in and wound up fighting as well.    The police were summoned and Marco and his friend wound up being arrested.  He wound up staying in jail overnight.

Originally Marco said he wanted the friend to stop at the Church and pick me up before going to the Detroit club.   But I guess the club was closer than the Church so the friend didn't want to do so.   That decision saved me from ending up with the same fate.   First off I don't know if I would've been fighting as well.  I probably would've been like Joan Clayton in that one episode of Girlfriends where the ladies go in the club and when Toni gets in a fight with another patron, instead of getting in the fight as well, I would bring out band-aids afterwards.   That didn't fly with them as women, imagine me as a guy doing that.  That definitely would've had me being called all kinds of f-words.    Second I could not imagine myself being in jail and then having to call Papa to come bail me out.   Papa so would've killed me.

Papa's reputation preceded him and even Marco was saying he was glad I wasn't there either.   He knew that Papa would've had choice words for him as well.   So after hearing Marco's story I was no longer mad.   Sadly not longer after that week, Marco wound up quitting the job because Papa and he exchanged words over something that I can't remember.    But that is the story of my near jail experience.    Who knows how my life would've changed had I experienced that?   Thankfully I will never know.

Raging Roadsters

 What is it when some people get inside their cars that turns them into complete lunatics?   They drive too slow, too fast, weave in and out of traffic, and worse of all tailgate.  It gets to the point that it's scary these days to even go for a leisurely drive which is never truly leisurely.   Every trip leaves the potential for running into one (but usually more) of these lunatics.   I breathe a sigh of relief every time I make it safely to a destination.   When Dom worked at the school, he made it a point to email me to let me know that he made it safely.   I in turn do the same when I make it to my job downtown safely.

I have so many examples of raging roadsters that I ran into.   My most recent example was a few days ago.   I was coming home from work a little earlier Thursday afternoon to try and beat some inclement weather that was forecasted .   Thankfully 95% of my trip is via train (if I'm not traveling to Indianapolis which thankfully I haven't done in six months or so).   But I do drive to the train station.  To get out of the station, one of the exits I go to I have to make a left.    There is no traffic light at the exit and there's no stop signs for the main road.    There's only one lane to enter and exit so if you're making a left and someone behind you is making a right, the person behind you is stuck until the person in front can safely make a left.    It take forever (probably 5 minutes in actual time) to make that left as by the time traffic clears on one side, there's traffic on the other side.   Then it repeats until you have to either take a crazy risk and speed ahead of upcoming traffic or get lucky and catch a rare break where traffic isn't appearing on either side.

Knowing this I try to wait until everyone in the parking lot leaves before me so I don't have anyone behind me.   This past Thursday one of the people fooled me into thinking they were staying behind much longer but as I was heading towards the exit, they were backing up.   So they wound up behind me.   

It was raining currently so I didn't want to squeal out as I was afraid of hydroplaning and losing control of my car.    Unfortunately traffic was coming from both directions and there were times when one side was clear and the other would get traffic.   After two minutes I decided to step out on the left side of the road when I saw that traffic was gone on that side.   There were multiple cars still coming from the right side so I couldn't turn.

A minute later there was a car speeding on the left side coming towards me.   I heard him honking and the driver was not slowing down.   There was a final car on the right side that barely got past me and I was finally able to make the left just as the speed demon crossed my lane.    That person wasn't planning on stopping and I could've been side swiped.   Even if he did, with the wet roads it would've been harder to stop.   I definitely thanked my lucky stars when I got home (two minutes later).    I look forward to the warmer weather when I can start walking to the train station again.   I just have to watch for the lunatics when trying to walk across the street...LOL.

Another example that comes to mind is three Saturdays back when Dom and I drove to Four Winds casino in New Buffalo, MI.   There's a point in the trip when the two lane road that we're on merges with another major road coming from the East.    We're on the left hand side and the traffic we merge into is on the right.    There's a stop sign where we have to stop and take turns crossing for the other traffic that merges West for the second road.   

So I was crossing over and merging into the road along with another car that was on the right lane.    We both are in two lanes on the merged road.   An idiot coming from the second road going East is driving super fast and is quickly tailgating me.   I can't move over safely since the other car is on the second lane.   The idiot moves into the other lane behind the other car now tailgating that person.    There is a car a half block in front of me that has his turn signal making a left.   I'm guessing idiot driver was anticipating I would have to stop and they can merrily zip into the left lane once they're past the turning car.   But the turning car was able to turn before I got there.    

So I kept driving and idiot driver was still tailgating the other person.   I managed to get a good distance from both cars.   I then saw the idiot driver get in my lane.   Knowing that he was going to zig zag, I thought I'd save him the trouble and safely move to the right lane.

So then he speeds along but not without gesturing the finger to me and shouting incoherently before speeding along.  I immediately honked my horn to let him and everyone else know what an idiot he was as he continued speeding and weaving around other cars.   I guess he was in a hurry to get his weed at one of the over 30 weed dispensaries in New Buffalo.

That's just two examples of the many encounters I've experienced while driving on the road and Dom of course has had his own share, some while I was a passenger as well.

It truly is scary driving on the roads these days.   There are so many stories of road rage incidents where people end up fighting or getting shot.    I thank goodness that it hasn't gotten to that point in my encounters (knock on wood).    But it's just one more thing that we have to deal with in this life.

Unhealthy Health Care

One of the things that worries me every so often is health.   It's something that isn't promised and can easily change for the worse.   I only look at Dom who I remember when we first dated back in 2014 had so much energy.    He used to walk so fast and over the last few years his energy has dipped and he now needs a cane to walk and was diagnosed with degenerative bone loss.

I think of my parents who both were taking blood pressure meds for many years.   My Dad had many health scares over the years including prostate cancer and diverticulitis.   My Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which affected her mental state and sadly an aggressive form of cancer took my Mom's life.

The cost of health care is a nightmare in the U.S. and is one part of the equation that you truly can't prepare for.   You can save all the money in the world but if your health goes south, it can easily wipe you out financially.

It's such a racket.  Health insurance is a necessary evil but it amazes me how much the hospital charges the insurance companies.    A bill of $10000 may be reduced to $2000 due to insurance reduction.   But the various charges the hospital charges are outrageous.   $3000 for a couple hours in a room, hundreds of dollars in nickel and diming items like bacterial soap and different meds given. And whatever they can't get from insurance, they try to get from us the consumers.

But if you don't have insurance it's even worse.   When I had my bout of kidney stones, I didn't have any insurance at the time because I was working part-time at Amazon while skilling up for a job upgrade and struggling to find a higher paying job.  I couldn't get on Dom's insurance because we weren't married at the time and while there is an option for domesticated partners, Dom was not out at work.

When I was at the ER I had to explain (while I was in pain mind you) that I did not have any insurance.  I remember being told I made "too much" at my minimum wage job to qualify for any assistance.   I was too rich but not poor enough in the government's eyes.

It took two to three months before I got billed which wound up being close to $5000 which was reduced from $8000 (I guess cause I didn't have insurance).   This was all for 6 hours at the ER.

I was blessed by that time with a new better paying job so I wound up putting myself on a payment plan paying around $400 a month until I paid off the big bill.    And that didn't count the separate nickel and diming bills I got from the specialists directly which were between $50 - $200.

In contrast it was illuminating hearing about a nomad couple's experience in Malaysia.  In their video they mentioned how the wife had to have major surgery.   Mind you she went to the hospital because she was experiencing pain and was trying to get a diagnosis.   To her surprise the doctor said she would need to have surgery right away.  Everything happened within the same day.

She was in the hospital for a few days and they were bracing themselves for the bill.   But to their surprise it wound up being some low amount (I believe it was several hundred dollars) and they wound up paying it out of pocket because they had a high deductible that wasn't met.

It seemed like the quality of healthcare was much better in Malaysia for a fraction of the cost.   They mentioned there are insurance companies that provide coverage for nomad travelers, which are folks that move from place to place without a permanent house.   The one they talked about is called Safety Wing, which specializes in providing insurance for those without a permanent home.

The couple featured in the video are nice folks who were able to early retire and apparently lived on cruise ships temporarily and now travel and live in various locations.   They were in the Middle East during the beginning of the war Orange caused and spoke about managing to get away from there.   There were many folks who couldn't get out because the airports were limiting flights because of the fighting.

But healthcare has been a sore spot in the United States for decades.  Former President Obama was the closest to try and fight it with the Affordable Care Act.   Unfortunately even that fell short as premiums were outrageously high at times and it seemed the government was penalizing folks if they didn't have insurance even if the cost to get it was so high.    I remember trying to look into it but giving up.

I really don't know what to do about healthcare.   I can't see Dom and I being nomads either.   First of all he has too many dolls that he would need to sell or give away.   Plus there is something to having a steady place that you can call home.   There's another Youtube nomad couple with a channel called Stepsof2Foreigners about two hot gay guys who fell in love with each other.   Their channel has been around since 2017 and follows their multi-year journey from first meeting each other in Brazil (I believe Adam was on vacation in Brazil and met Bernardo and they basically decided to make a go of it).  I watched their videos over the years and it was crazy the number of places they moved in and out of in that time.   They spent the majority of their time in the U.S., got married, and Bernardo finally getting his U.S. citizenship but both deciding to now relocate back to Brazil.   Given this current regime I can't say I blame them.   That's one good thing about not having a home, you have no real ties to stay in a particular place.   But I wonder what their healthcare situation is.   I don't remember if they discussed it particularly but I know they've had a few health issues they had to deal with.

Plus it was dizzying all the constant moving.   I will say that I love stability and the thought of having to move somewhere once every six months to a year (which they seemed to be doing for many years) is something that would stress me out.   As I said there is something positive knowing that you have a place you can go to that is yours and is a refuge from the crazy world we live in.

I guess I should count my blessings that I have some kind of insurance, as broken as the healthcare industry is.

Praying For Peace

I came across this video randomly in the Youtube rabbit hole about a black American man and his trip to Iran.   It's very timely given the current war that Orange and his regime has started.   From watching my various independent new sources, the attack on Iran is something that Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu has been wanting to do for decades.   Netanyahu has been seeking U.S. assistance from various presidents over the decades and apparently finally found his in through Orange.   The theory is that Netanyahu blackmailed Orange into attacking Iran due to having incriminating evidence on Orange's involvement with Jeffrey Epstein.    The war itself is another distraction from people talking about Epstein.

The video I found followed a random man as he explored Iran.   Just like the rest of the world, the Iranian people have their hopes and dreams.    They are just trying to make the most out of the life they are given.   It is sad to see this knowing all the destruction that is happening in Iran now.    As a result of the war, the immediate effects is the increase in price on gas.    There have also been retaliatory attacks on the U.S., including most likely the attack on a synagogue in West Bloomfield, MI. 

Dom made an interesting observation.   He noted that the media stopped talking about Orange's orchestrated attacks on Venezuela which no doubt were done to steal their oil.    Dom feels he wanted Venezuela's oil in preparation for Iranian oil potentially being blocked.   

There have been so many different attacks on people with this current regime of marginalized folks including black and brown people as well as those in the LGB and especially T community.    I pray for peace in the world and that somehow we can find our way back from this fascism.   But I don't know.  It may be too late for us.

But anyway the video touched me and I wanted to share.

On a lighter note, today is Pi day.   Dom and I are supposed to be running errands later today.   Maybe we can pick up a pie somewhere.

Strong Scents

 Anthony and I met up this past Sunday for another hook up session.   It was our first time meeting since last November.   The last couple times we met I noticed that he's not able to keep an erection.   He gets excited when his nips are aggressively sucked but once that stops, his erection dies.   He had me repeatedly suck them to get hard but it didn't get hard enough.   As a result he had difficulty screwing since I myself am tight down there (since I'm not regularly doing it).    The reality is that he's in his mid-60's so it makes sense that he isn't as spry as he used to be.   But we still enjoyed ourselves jacking off.

Anthony being the great host always offers me a chance to shower up afterwards.   His selection of soaps however is of the Axe body spray kind which has a strong scent.  He does have a bar of soap that looks like Irish Spring which Dom uses so I gravitated towards that.   

But Anthony heavily uses Axe which means he is reeking of the smell.    When I got home and Dom and I had dinner, he noticed the scent on me and was asking me what I washed up with.   He even asked if I was hugged up on someone which I denied.   I know I said that I need to tell Dom about Anthony but it's hard to just say it.   Even though Dom would understand (since it's been years since we had last had sex), I worry about hurting his feelings.

I did promise Anthony that I would plan something soon for Dom and he to meet.   Anthony now makes a point to ask me what dolls Dom has purchased.   I honestly can't keep up with all the different brands he has.   I figure it would be good for them to meet so they can talk doll shop.   But now I'm nervous that Dom will notice Anthony's scent and put two and two together.    

At the end of the day my heart is with Dom.  I love Dom and want to be with him.   I will say I myself am slowing down sexually and haven't been actively seeking it out.   Part of it though is dealing with the games guys play.   I've had to deal with that game playing for more than 25 years so that gets old.  So unless a guy tickles my fancy on the social sites, I rarely respond to anyone.  The only other guys I occasionally chat with are my usual suspects - Midas, Doug, and Mitch.    It's all nonsexual there with an occasional tease that leads nowhere.

Speaking of Mitch, he reaches an exciting milestone in a couple weeks.   After March 28th, he'll have less than 2 years left in his prison term.   So he's definitely excited about that.   By the time he is released he'll be over 65.    With the help of his daughter, he's found a new home that he'll be able to move into upon release.    It's actually a few miles from the Japanese grocery store that I used to frequent when I lived in Illinois so that's cool.   I look forward to seeing him again once he's released.

Dom Pop

 I just saw something on my Facebook feed that looks like a good gift idea for Dom's birthday (which isn't until June).    It's a popcorn maker from this company called PopSmith.  PopSmith says they are popcorn perfected.   They promise a one-of-a-kind popcorn experience that is easy to use and ready in under 5 minutes.

Dom loves making popcorn on the stove but I hate when he uses my stainless steel pot to make it in.   It stains the pan and makes it hard to clean the excess oil.    I may be a little petty about it.

When we were in Shipshewana about eighteen months back, we stopped at Yoder's Meat & Cheese where they were selling a Nordic Ware popcorn maker for about $14.   I was hoping Dom would use that to make his popcorn but he didn't like the popcorn because it didn't have any of the oily flavor that he got with cooking it in oil over the fire and it was dry.   When using the Nordic Ware, you don't need to add any extra oil to it.   I did try adding a tablespoon of butter to it but he still didn't care for it.

So back to the pan he went.    But I saw the one from PopSmith and it promises that the experience would be just like enjoying theatre popcorn.   The only thing that's giving me pause is the $200 price tag.   But I can see that Target has some stove-top popcorn makers between $40 - $80.   That may be the happy medium we need.    So I'm posting this so I can remember this as a possible gift idea for Dom this year.  Either that or maybe a new rice cooker.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

War - Why Can't We Be Friends?

INTRO
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
La, la, la, la, la, laa
La, la, la, la, la, la

CHORUS
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

VERSE1
I've seen you 'round for a long, long time
I remembered you when you drank my wine

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE2
I've seen you walking down in Chinatown
I called you, but I could not look around

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE3
I paid my money to the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time.

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE4
The color of your skin don't matter to me (Ow!)
As long as we can live in harmony

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE5
I'd kind of like to be the President (Oh yeah!)
So I can show you how your money's spent, hoo!

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE6
Sometimes, I don't speak right
But yet, I know what I'm talking about

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 7
I know you're working for the CIA
They wouldn't have you in the MAFI-A

REPEAT CHORUS X 3

In life I've always had a challenging time making friends.   My earliest memories when I was grade school I just remembered being teased and not really connecting with anyone.   I blogged about one bully that tormented me during my younger years.

I was a socially awkward boy and that carried into my teenage years.    I did have one kid during my pre-teen and teenage years that was the closest friend I had.   We lost contact once we graduated high school.   

In college I do remember I befriended a young man named Cedric.   We had one or two classes together.   We would commiserate about life and classes.   He wound up dropping out of college after a couple semesters and that ended our friendship.

I was still socially awkward.   I joined my university chapter's National Society of Black Engineers.  That was where I made my core friends that I still occasionally keep in touch with.    My last semester in college, I met Sally for the first time (not knowing at that time we would become lifelong friends).

I made a few work acquaintances since I started my corporate career in 1995.   During that time I was trying to figure out my sexuality.   I was at the time still thinking I would meet a girl and get married.   But remember that whole social awkward thing.

I never mentioned it before but when I was getting my eyes examined, I met a young lady that was a receptionist there.  I remember she said that was a single mom with a small child.    She took a liking to me and wanted to get to know me.   I think we may have hung out once but I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further with her.    It awkwardly ended after I stopped calling her and then she realized I wasn't interested and that ended things.

My college friend Doug was responsible for introducing me to my one and only girlfriend.   We met in October 1999, broke up a few months later, and then briefly reconnected in March 2001 before we broke up for good in September 2001.   It was that relationship that made me acknowledge that I am gay.   I was in denial because it was hammered over and over again during my school years.   So in a way I had to have a girlfriend to confirm on being gay.    I know there are gay men that married women to try and deny the gay but they would sneak behind their wives back to sleep with men who they really wanted.   Even though I wanted to have kids, I couldn't be deceptive like that.

So getting back to the friends thing, realizing I was gay did not make things any easier when it came to befriending guys.   I will say that I am forever grateful that I started blogging.    That alone opened me to meeting other gay guys that was valuable to me.    I do miss that.

When it came to making friends with gays offline, that unfortunately did not pan out well.   I started thinking about some of the guys I tried building friendships with but fell to the wayside.

I was remembering my brief time with Spades back in 2006.   Like a lot of gay friendships, it started out as a date to see if it was a love or sex match.    It wound up being neither but we both saw the potential in a friendship.   The trippy thing is that we shared the same birthday.   We even went on a trip to Vegas together.    But sadly things ended over something I still don't understand.   The last time we hung out we were dancing at a club and we even discovered that we had dated the same guy.    I thought for sure we would have had a lifelong friendship.    But it wasn't meant to be.

Then there was Huey.   We chatted on A4A and then he invited me to hang out with him at a local gay bar where I lost my stripper virginity....LOL.   Huey and I hung out every so often at the bars and he introduced me to an all you can eat sushi bar on the Northside of Chicago that we went to a few times.   Huey wound up being like the big gay brother I never had.    (My friend Eugene is actually my real big gay brother but he lives out of state.)  I still have fond memories of our time hanging out at IML.  But sadly our friendship ended over a slight.   I never did talk about what happened.    

We were supposed to hang out at the bar and agreed to meet each other around 11pm.   I get to the bar around that time and look for him but he's not there.  I tried calling him but he didn't answer his phone.  I hung out by myself for another hour and after unsuccessfully trying to call again, I finally left.   When I got home I called a third time and left a scathing voicemail.

I never heard back from him again until a week later.   He wound up leaving a voicemail basically saying that he left his phone somewhere but that he didn't appreciate my attitude.    By the time he had called I had gotten over it but hearing his voicemail pissed me off and I basically didn't call him back.  The friendship pretty much ended.   

I really felt sad about it and wondered if I should've called him back to try and salvage things.   I was mad because he didn't apologize for not meeting me.   If I were a more socially adaptive person, I could've made the best of the situation and maybe had my own fun.   But it's hard when you're out and about and everyone else is in their own clicks.    I did see Huey online on another social site many years later and we were cool but I knew we couldn't go back.

Then there was Jose who I met sometime in 2010.   We wound up having a sex date but he liked me enough that he thought we'd be better as friends.   Jose was very worldly and he was responsible for getting me to travel outside of the U.S.    He was one of my longer lasting friendships though that sadly fell apart due to as one of my old blogger friends Harold Gibson said, my not respecting my own boundaries.

There was another guy named Edwin that I met in his hometown of Portage, MI.   Edwin and I first chatted on a site called Silverdaddies.   I clocked from our conversations that we were having more of a friendship vibe.   That actually was pretty cool since I started chatting with him a few months into dating Dom.

I believe the first time I met him was in the summer of 2015 when I was traveling to Detroit.   We met at a local restaurant for brunch.  I will admit Edwin was definitely my type.    He had a dad bod that was bearish minus the hair.   I loved his voice, it had a nerdy but deep quality to it that drew my attention.   But if Edwin had any interest in me, he didn't show it.    

We would meet a few more times throughout the years, usually when I was traveling to and from Detroit.   Throughout that time Edwin never invited me to hang out beyond lunch.   Last Christmas I reached out to him to see if he wanted to hang out again.   But he made it feel like an imposition so I decided to back off.   I kind of realized that our friendship was mostly one-sided.   If I didn't message him I wouldn't hear back.   

There was another guy I'll just call Muscles that I chatted with on A4A in 2019.   Muscles and I had great conversation and we both shared that we had partners.    In our chat we thought it would be cool if the four of us hung out sometime.   I was thinking that would be so cool since I didn't really have gay friends and having another couple to hang out with would've been great.  I even told Dom about him.  We made plans to meet for an evening of bowling.

But the weekend we were supposed to meet, I had forgotten that I needed to have a tooth pulled on Friday.   This was in January 2020.   I mentioned to him the night before that we wouldn't be able to hang out because I was recovering from having oral surgery.   I believe he thought I was lying.   Then COVID started to hit and pretty much it was curtains for Muscles and I.

So you see friendships are not easy for me.   Thankfully I have Sally and Eugene still and a few acquaintances here and there.   Maybe someday, though, I can still find someone I can be friends with.  I guess Anthony and I have a kind of a friends with benefits thing going.   I need to try and develop that friendship more and get him to meet Dom as well.    

Coach Davis

 

Gaybuzzer posted this meme recently which made me chuckle and later put a smile on my face.   In the gay world I've definitely had my share of hooking up with married guys.  Unless you're one of those rare gay couples who met in their 20's and chose to stay committed to each other for decades, almost every gay guy has been with a married man.  Of course I'm on the other side of the equation now being the married guy that occasionally hooks up (though in the last couple years it's been pretty much with one person).

I had my own personal Coach Davis that I hooked up with once every other month between 2010 - 2014 when I was living on my own in Illinois.   I looked through my old posts and I apparently never posted about him.   So without further ado or Hemingway, let me reminisce about my Coach Davis.

I remember MCD and I found each other on a social networking site called SilverDaddies.   Oddly enough neither of us were particularly silver (at that time) but MCD was indeed a daddy.    As we chatted I learned that MCD was particularly interested in frottage.   Frottage, or frotting, is when two men rub their penises against each other repeatedly until both parties get a release.  This also involved rubbing our penises between our thighs or around the buttocks (without penetration).   He also enjoyed kissing which was a plus.

I also learned that he was only available after midnight (usually between 1am - 2am) and I would need to host.   To make things interesting we decided on a scenario that when he would come over, I would leave the front door unlocked and he would go upstairs to my bedroom and "find me asleep".   He would then hop in the bed, wake me, and then we would kiss and frot the time away.

I remember the first time he came over I was nervous.    I was taking a huge risk giving MCD my address.  What if he wasn't who he said he was.   Maybe he was working with other folks who would together rob me.    Maybe he would keep me busy upstairs while his accomplishes ransacked my house looking for things to steal.   Thankfully none of that happened.

That's the risk we all take when hooking up with strangers.   But boy did it work out in this case.   I was "asleep" when I heard MCD coming up the stairs.    He hopped into bed and we immediately started kissing and rubbing each other's bodies.   He grabbed both of our penises and gyrated himself over me as we continued our ritual.   Thirty minutes later we both came and we were both satisfied.

There was a point during a couple of those years where MCD was my only go-to for sexual relief.   So I greatly appreciated his visits.   One particular time I remember I fell asleep for real while waiting for him.   When he finally came over I remember I freaked out when he hopped in the bed but then quickly remembered our liaison.   That made things extra hot.

I noticed that MCD would quickly leave after we both got off (at least he was generous with wanting me to be satisfied).  A part of me kept wondering why he couldn't linger for a few minutes afterwards to enjoy the afterglow.    I discovered later that he had 3 kids.   That made the fact that he was able to slip away and visit me in the dead of the night all the more miraculous.   Part of me wondered if he drugged his wife before leaving.   I guess he must've had some excuse that he did (just as I do now...usually the casino is my go-to excuse).

One of the last times we met MCD told me that he wouldn't be able to get away to see me.  I'm guessing circumstances changed at home where it wasn't feasible to make those late night frot calls. When I think about it, it's amazing that he was able to meet me all those years.   One of those last times he visited me was actually in the late afternoon which was very rare.    I had never really seen him in the light so that was different as well.   It was bittersweet frotting with him that last time.

It's hard to believe it's been almost 16 years since my first time meeting MCD.   Overall it was a great time to be alive and I was still in the prime of my life.    Seeing GayBuzzer's post this morning put a smile on my face as it took me back to my own Coach Davis.   I wonder what MCD is up to these days.  His kids are probably in their early 20's or almost graduating high school.   Is he still with his wife or did they divorce?   I guess I'll never know but I do wish him the best.    He gave me some wonderful memories that I will continue to treasure.

The Heat Is On

 It's been a cold eight days since our boiler went out.  Even with the space heaters it's been horrible.  I've had some reprieve with going into the office but I wound up catching a cold (still recovering) from the constant temperature switch.   Dom's even had to come upstairs to sleep for a few nights.    Company #1 did come over last Thursday to check on the state of the boiler.   The technician reviewed it and determined that the boiler couldn't be saved.   They normally charge an $80 service call charge but since they didn't repair it they waived the charge.   Instead they sent over a second person who came an hour or so after the first technician to discuss the costs for a new boiler.

The second person reviewed the boiler and pipe setup.  He then eyed my water boiler and noted its age.   He came up with two options.    We could either get a new boiler on its own or he was suggesting what was called a combi-boiler which functions as a boiler and a water heater.   The minimum estimate for the boiler was $12,000 (which was way higher than I expected).   He sited having to remove the old boiler and retrofitting the pipes into the boiler as reasons for the cost.   

He was slightly pushy by saying I could sign a contract as soon as he drafted it out and work could begin as early as the following Monday.   I told him that I would be getting a second quote as well.     He left and said he would send me an email with the estimates the next day.

Dom immediately thought it was way too expensive.   I thought it was on the high-end but felt like everything these days is costly.   I forgot to ask if that included labor as well.   But I did want a second opinion.   Dom was suggesting reaching out to Home Depot since they could direct us to technicians.

I reached out to Home Depot online.   They paired me up with a technician but when I looked at the website, I saw that they did not specialize in boilers.    So I knew they would not be able to assist.   Home Depot said the technician would reach out to schedule something but they never did.   They probably noted that I wanted to replace a boiler since I did explicitly say boiler and chose not to waste their time or mine.

In the meantime I never received a quote from Company #1 as promised.    We were stuck on what to do.   I thought of reaching back to Company #1 but I'm not a beggar and the guy promised he would mail an estimate.

The temperature outside slightly warmed up past the weekend which helped the inside temps a little bit but it was still cold inside.

We had our Church board meeting on Monday.   Dom came on camera and pleaded with the board for help in finding someone for us.   The Church has had a couple folks come over to repair their furnace in the past and suggested them to us as possibilities.   I wasn't sure if either of them did boiler work.

One of them right off the bat I knew would not come to our neighborhood.   Dom reached out to that one by email and they never responded.   The second outfit was closer to our neighborhood and I figured they may check it out, assuming they did boilers.   I called them Tuesday morning and got confirmation that they do work with boilers.

I scheduled a technician from Company #2 to come out yesterday (2/11).   I directed him to the basement but had to leave because I had a customer call.    Dom was downstairs so he was able to stay with the technician.

As I was on my call, I started hearing some noises from the basement.   I was thinking, is he actually attempting to repair the boiler?   I sent Dom a quick text message and he confirmed that the technician mentioned replacing a part in the boiler.   I was elated.

In the end he mentioned having to replace the thermocouple, which is a sensor that tells the boiler if the flame is on.   The cost of the repair including labor was $274.   The tech from Company #2 also said that the boiler was worth saving as the Crane Sunnyday was made to last a long time (clearly as ours is over 70 years old).

$274 is much much better than financing over $12,000 (and I assume I would've had to make a down payment as well).   I'm guessing Company #1 didn't bother with sending an estimate because they knew I would either beg them to come do the work or find someone that would do it cheaper.   I will say I even contemplated waiting till Spring or Summer to replace the boiler thinking it may be cheaper.

But in the end things worked out.  The house is warm again.  I may still be able to pay off the mortgage this year after all.   Won't he do it!!

The Heat Is Off

 It's funny how just when you think things are bad life decides to make things worse.    Yesterday morning started out normal with me slowly waking out of bed around 4am.     I felt warm at first which was good but as I made my way downstairs things took a chilly turn.     It wasn't long before I got confirmation from Dom that the radiator next to him was cold.   That woke me up completely.

I went up to the thermostat and the room temp was 54 degrees, two degrees lower than was set.   As a side rant some may wonder why our thermostat is set to a low 56 degrees.   The location of the thermostat is in our chilly hallway.   We have to keep it that low to keep the heat from barreling out of control, though it really doesn't work to resolve that.    Another side rant comes in the form of our Nipsco bill which was $486 last month and now $516.    I hate Nipsco with the same intensity that I used to hate Comcast so long ago.   I'm not the only one.

So the thermostat had a status that the heat was on but with the temps falling in the house I knew that was a lie.  I confirmed that the radiator in the bathroom was also cold.    I went downstairs and found that our old Crane Sunnyday boiler which had to have been installed sometime in the 1950's or 1960's was making a whirring noise and water was slowly leaking out of one of the pipes.

When we purchased our home we knew that the boiler was on borrowed time.   It held in there for a little over 10 years so that was an accomplishment.    But the timing of its demise could not be worse.   I'm already hurting from covering all of Dom's doll pre-orders since he's not working.    The money I had saved a few years ago has dwindled to below half of what I used to have.   My credit card bills have skyrocketed thanks to Dom's crap and I'm on the edge of having to pay interest fees again for the first time since 2023.

I've been working so hard to try and obtain financial freedom but having to pay for a new boiler potentially will be an additional setback.   I've been scraping the barrel to try and pay extra on my monthly mortgage which I'm so close to paying off.   I'll still try to give something extra but it may not be as much as I'd like to give.

To top it off the place that I called that potentially may be able to repair the boiler (which given the age I don't know if it can be saved) won't be available to look at until Thursday afternoon, a full two and a half days from when it died.   I was told by the person who recommended the place to tell them I live in the good part of our city (otherwise they may not come).   I'm guessing at best if it's a repair that can save the radiator, I may have to pay at least $1000 though worse case scenario, I may have to pay between $3000 - $5000 for a new boiler.    And of course they charge a service fee just for coming to check it out.    It's such a racket.

So needless to say I'm not a happy camper.    We're managing to hang in there with a few space heaters that are turned on from time to time and keeping the french doors to our living room closed to try to minimize the draft from the hallway.   But man is this going to hurt me financially.    At least I can escape to the office today to warm up.   Thankfully too our old water heater is hanging on so at least we have hot water.

Low Fence Attack

 Yesterday I received a cryptic call from Dom as I was arriving home from work.    He told me that I needed to check the low fence in the back alley.    He wouldn't tell me what was wrong.   Come to find out, part of our fence was ripped from the ground and barely hanging on to the rest of the fence.   The area of fence ripped was located just at the edge of our property right next to our neighbor's fence which was undamaged.   It wasn't connected to our neighbor's fence since they have a tall wooden fence.

I couldn't understand how it could happen.   Tuesday is our garbage day and our garbage was picked up as normal.   I didn't see any tire tracks by the fence and I couldn't make out any footprints even though we just got a fresh batch of snow on the ground.   The only marks were around the garbage container showing where the container stood and further along the right-of-way were tire tracks from the vehicles that traverse the back alley.

Dom unfortunately didn't hear any noises coming from that area and our next door neighbor has a camera in their back wooden fence and it didn't capture anything.    We had a camera in our back area installed after we had our garbage can stolen but our WI-FI has issues in the winter reaching beyond our home so it wasn't in place.   I was planning to get a WI-FI extender to plug in the garage but hadn't done so.   I will definitely need to do that now so I can add my camera back.

We suspect either the garbage truck or a snow plow may have caused the damage.   But there were no tire tracks near the fence.    Dom discovered it when he went to pick up the garbage container.   The container itself was standing in its usual place.   I couldn't see any damages or scratches on the container itself.

As it stands we have no proof of what caused our low fence to be pulled from the ground.   I do plan to reach out to two of our other neighbors in the perimeter to see if they saw anything.  I'm not holding out any hope but it doesn't hurt to try.   I don't want to repeat the mistake of not talking to our neighbors when our home was robbed in 2016.   Otherwise I'm not sure what we can do.   I could file a police report and a claim to the city but without proof, the city would decline our case and not cover the cost of repair.   It's just another day in paradise...LOL.

Again And Again

 

Mya - Again & Again

INTRO

I've tried so hard to make you understand
That it's over
Yes, it's over
Mmm, mmm, mmm
Ooh, yeah

VERSE 1

Why can't you just let it go?
I'm not yours anymore, I want you to know
I tried so hard to explain
But it seems from your presence that it's all in vain
I said goodbye (I said goodbye)
I'm letting go (Letting go, yeah)
You say you wanna come back
But I don't wanna know, wanna know, baby

REFRAIN

Again and again and again and again and again and again
You come back to me, boy
You come back to me, boy
Again and again and again and again and again and again
You come back to me, boy
But you don't hear me, no

VERSE 2

Leave me the f* alone
Don't make me change my number, don't make me change my home
Believe me when I say that
You need help from someone but that someone ain't me
'Cause you wanna be the man (wanna be the man)
That keeps knockin' my door (hey, hey, hey)
And it's not okay (it's not okay)
'Cause you keep running in and running out of my heart

REPEAT REFRAIN

BRIDGE

Again and again, you keep coming around
When all you wanna do is let me down (hey)
'Cause I don't feel you no more
But you still calling me, boy
Why don't you see you're wasting my time?
It's over with, boy, get out of my life
You need some help from someone
Now leave me, leave me the hell alone, oh

Heh it's been a minute since I've had a good "menses" story.   I've briefly mentioned this person in my All The E's Menses post from almost 5 years ago in 2021.  This will actually be Doug's first and hopefully last solo post.  I mentioned Doug in passing on two other posts outside of my 2021 post.

As I previously mentioned, Doug and I met on A4A sometime in the summer of 2020 which will always be remembered as the first summer of COVID.   We chatted back and forth and we both had expressed concerns about COVID but decided to meet anyway.   Our first time meeting was in my garage.   We had a hot time kissing and sucking inside the back seat of my car.   He sucked me off and in a surprise move for me, I sucked him off.

Swallowing cum isn't an activity I particularly enjoy.   The cum itself is slimy, has a slight odor, and makes me feel nauseous.    But for some reason I went with it and it wasn't horrible.

He would visit me several more times over the summer and the next summer.   We would mostly meet in my basement and we would make out and then end with sucking each other off.   We never did anal.   His last visit was sometime in the late summer of 2021.    This time he picked me at my home and we drove to a nearby nature preserve. 

We walked along a trail and we stopped at different points to make out.   He wanted to suck me off at each point and I said not yet.   And we kept walking.   We held hands for a brief moment and later passed a random older couple walking in the opposite direction.   

There was a small alcove area with two benches that was situated several feet away from the path.   From the alcove you had a view of the swampy area as well as the rest of the preserve area.   It was a relatively private area and the perfect spot for sucking each other off.

We were both so nervous and we each watched to see if anyone was coming while the other was sucking for some cum.   The risk made things more exciting and it proved to be a hot time for both of us.   We sat on the bench for a few minutes more enjoying the view before we both made our way back to his car.   He had a call he needed to make and dropped me back at the house.   I offered for him to make the call in the house but he decided he needed to head back.

That would be the last time that we met in person.

For the next several years he would periodically message me on A4A (even though we had exchanged numbers beforehand) and would ask what my schedule was like and what day would be good to meet.   I would confirm on a day and time and he would just say okay or most times not reply.   Of course on the day suggested he would completely disappear online and not be reachable.

As the same cycle happened again and again, I would get more agitated.   I decided sometime in late 2022 to block him on A4A so he couldn't communicate with me anymore.   I didn't block him on my cell phone.  My hope was that he would reach out to me by phone if he noticed that he couldn't reach me anymore on A4A.  He never did.

In a moment of weakness I unblocked him.   He didn't mention anything about having access to me again except saying he was glad I opened my account again.   But it would be the same pattern again.   This time though since I was used to it I didn't let it bother me.    

The way it would go is after the day he was supposed to meet me passed, he wouldn't message me for one or two months.   Then one random day after a passage of time he would ask the same questions about my schedule and availability.   This time though I expected that we would not meet.   I would randomly say some day even if I wasn't available and move on.  

In the back of my mind I knew he wouldn't meet me anyway.   Sure enough that day would pass and the cycle would happen again.   I kept playing the game whenever he would ask and he would keep the same pattern of disappearing.   

It was pretty comical.   He claimed that he enjoyed our "friendship" but I would suggest meeting him somewhere for lunch or dinner and he would not commit.   He works some kind of sales job selling HVAC systems.   He claims that his job has him traveling to Fort Wayne, IN and Columbus, OH at times.   He also claims to be living with a co-worker in a rental apartment.   I asked if the co-worker was gay and he said no.

He admitted once that he kept a distance from me so that he wouldn't get attached to me since I had Dom.   On the one hand it was understandable but on the other I just didn't get it.

I offered an opportunity to meet Dom by helping us move some things around the house.   Dom isn't able to move around much and it would've been a good opportunity to introduce him and possibly discuss him being more a part of my life.   But he would not commit and always claimed to be busy.

Fast forward to November 14, 2025 and we're messaging on A4A.  It happened to be a slow Friday at work and I was in downtown Chicago.   For some reason I decided that maybe since we can't meet each other in person, maybe we could meet on Google meet.   At first he wasn't too thrilled about it.   I told him that it was over 4 years since we last met in person.   He expressed shock that it was that much time.  After some time he finally decided it was fine for us to meet online.

So I sent him the link and it took him fifteen minutes or so before he joined.  I almost thought he was going to do another no-show but to my surprise he appeared.    We both chatted and marveled at how we didn't think to do this before.   I kept noticing he was turning his head towards the hallway.   He kept looking like he was worried that somebody was going to catch him.

We were online for less than ten minutes and I decided to end it because he just didn't look comfortable at all.   I snuck a photo of him while we were meeting so I could add it to my phone.   I figured it would be the closest I would ever see him.

So Dom was planning to go home the weekend before Thanksgiving to see his Mom.  I stupidly messaged Doug telling him I was free that weekend if he wanted to come up.   He kept saying he hoped it would work out.   I think you know what happened next.

I told myself after that I was done with him.   To my shock he texted me on the phone wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving.   It was his first time ever wishing me a happy holiday by text.    This was a few days after he pulled his latest disappearing act so I was peeved.   I contemplated ignoring him altogether but I wanted to reward good behavior as he never really initiated a phone text.   But I was still mad.   All I could say was "Thanks, you too".

That would be the last time we messaged until earlier today.   I logged into A4A today and he's back to the same pattern asking when he can meet me.   I immediately logged off.   I'm wanting to tell him off but I may this time ask him what happened to the last time.   As much as I hate to say it, I still do have some feelings for him.  We had enjoyed each other's company during the times we met so I don't understand all the game playing he's doing now.   I'm not naive though.  I know things won't change.

But like Mya used to sing in her song Again And Again, I wish he would just leave me the hell alone!!!

Stone Tone Deaf

 

Apparently there's a new movie coming out later this month that is about Orange's wife Melania.   I don't know who thought this would be a great idea considering the state of the current White House administration.   It's been reported that thousands of posters mentioning the movie has been vandalized.   Given the feelings people have about Orange, I can't say this is much of a surprise.   The advertising company wisely decided to remove all the posters and not add them once more.   

There's supposed to be a premiere of the movie at the Kennedy Center the evening before it's released in theatres.   I refuse to call the Kennedy Center anything else.   I see this movie flopping and being pulled out of theatres after one or two weeks.

The current White House administration continues to be tone deaf in how a lot of the American people view them.    We're in a world now where the administration's mandated "ICE" agents which really consist of former Proud Boy members, can target anyone on the streets and harass them and potentially kill them.  Sadly they even harass people in their own homes.

Every day Orange says one stupid thing after another and noone in Congress is doing anything about it.  Sure they refute what he says but the fact that he is still in office (or even was eligible to be elected for a second term) is a travesty.  

He's turned a lot of our allies against us and there may be a day soon when the United States is no longer a country.   We're truly living in scary times.    My only grace is that I'm in my 50's and not starting off my life trying to navigate in a world where rent, food, and housing is higher than income and having a government that's working against me.   Sure I have to deal with the food and housing now but at least I was able to establish myself years back when things weren't as insane.    Who knew those were the good ol' days?   I do not want to be in my 20's today.   They have a lot stacked against them.

So yeah back on topic, hell to the no on this movie!   I will be reading the reviews though for those brave enough to watch it...should be fun.   Cue in the popcorn.

Another Trip Around The Sun

 Happy New Year!   As I pen my official first post of 2026, I'm feeling blessed to have made it into another year.   I spent my last evening of 2025 quietly at home with Dom.   I ordered some crab legs and claws from an outfit called PrimeFish Seafood Company.   The order arrived just before Christmas and I was able to freeze them and save some for part of my New Year's Eve dinner.    They were a pricey order but part of their appeal is that you only get the crab and lobster meat itself which is freeze packed and not the shells.    So it's just a matter of cutting the package and letting the meat out.   You can either eat it cold or cook it in some butter for a few minutes.    Either way it was very tasty and a good meal for the New Year.

It was a pricey meal and something I probably won't do for a while.   But I've seen the ads for the company for at least two years and was curious to try it out.   My order of 24 oz of snow crab leg meat, 16oz snow crab claws, and 16oz lobster claw meat cost me $315.   But the appeal of not having to break through the shells and sometimes not getting all the meat can't be denied.   Enjoying seafood sometimes is a lot of work so it was nice not having to cut through shells.

New Year's Day was pretty quiet as well.   There is another random family currently housed at the AirBnB/VRBO across from us but thankfully they are mostly quiet.    We did have a nightmarish situation there with a large gathering there at Thanksgiving and some of the cars parking without our permission in our small lot and they were noisy.   We contemplated calling the police but the extra cars did wind up moving after an hour or so.   I have not been thrilled with having it so close to our house and the main owner is not a nice person at all.    The one positive is that the main owner is next door in the garage so if things really go south, at least he's there to deal with it firsthand.

I was dismayed by our latest gas/electric bill from Nipsco being charged almost $500.   Nipsco needs to be investigated.   They are a monopoly like American Water and unfortunately they get away with charging higher and higher prices.   It's crazy how a company can be so universally despised yet they are an integral part of our existence since we need gas, electricity, and water to live.   It's so frustrating.

I continue to pray I can hang on to my job with the rising costs of everything.  Maybe get a small raise again.   That might be too much to ask though...LOL.  I do worry about the financial aspect of things since the stock market isn't exactly doing great either.

The latest on the Orange front is that he orchestrated an invasion in Venezuela and took the president Nicolas Maduro and his wife hostage.   The reasoning seems to be due to the need to control oil.   It does appear the Venezuelan people are for it but what's to stop Orange from trying to take out Canada, Mexico, or Greenland.   He himself is a wanna-be dictator.

We're coming on one year since he's been in office.   Will we survive for another three years?  Will Orange?  Maybe Orange planned this latest attack in an attempt to minimize the stock market reaction to the news and of course to add more distractions from the Epstein files.

Either way I'm glad to have a few independent new sources to get the latest information from.  Some of my favorites include Don Lemon, Joy Reid, and Jennifer Welch/Angie "Pumps" Sullivan.

As for New Year resolutions, I haven't made any official ones.  I do have the goal still of paying off the mortgage this year which is on target.    It will definitely be an exciting time.   I do want to work on being more healthy in 2026.  We shall see what's in store for the year.    Whatever happens I'll do my best to navigate through things.