You Say Jello, I Say Gelato

Move over ice cream.   There's a new creamy treat in town that's taken over pleasing my taste buds.   For the last couple months I've been enjoying this tasty treat called gelato.    In particular I'm liking this brand named Talenti Gelato.  

I first introduced myself to Talenti while visiting Jose in San Diego last February.    I went to a local health food store not far from where Jose lived and stumbled on the tasty treat in the desert isle.   Well my eyes stumbled upon it.    I've actually seen the Talenti brand before elsewhere in Chicagoland but never felt the inclination to buy it since a pint of the gelato runs you around $5.19.    But the store was having a sale and the Black Cherry Gelato looked so good that I had to try it.   Plus I was on vacation.   Why not, right?

I wound up not trying it that visit but Jose did and was singing its praises.    I didn't think about it again till my next visit.   I once again got the Black Cherry and finally had my chance to give it a shot.   So creamy and the cherry chunks were simply divine and gave the gelato that one two punch.

Ever since then I've been purchasing their gelato on a weekly basis.   I've tried almost all the flavors that have been available.   My additional faves have included Caribbean Coconut, Caramel Cookie Crunch, Sea Salt Caramel, and Sicilian Pistachio.

Unfortunately though I haven't been able to find my first Talenti love, Black Cherry, anywhere.   It's been disappointing though the other flavors do keep me satiated.    So my quest for Black Cherry continues.   Too bad I can't ship it from San Diego.   I'll have to email the company and ask the stores if they plan on carrying Black Cherry as that's a personal favorite.

I went to Target this afternoon and found a new flavor I haven't tried yet but nonetheless looked intriguing.   Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip.    It's described in their website as a combination of the pleasantly tart, floral flavor of farm fresh black raspberries with flecks of dark chocolate.   Hopefully flecks are similar to chunks...*LOL*.


But it's perfect for tonight.   It'll go great with my viewing of the new season of Pretty Little Liars with its premiere airing this evening.   I haven't been this hooked on a show since my beloved Half & Half went off the air.   It's like appointment TV for me.   If I'm not able to get home in time from work, I'm sure to watch it first thing in the morning at hulu before starting my new workday.   Who knew a show about a bunch of teenage girls being harassed by a mysterious figure only known as 'A' would capture my interest.   So embarrassing but I figure my secret is safe with the blog world.  

That Thing

If that title was in my other blog I probably would've whipped out the verses to Lauryn Hill's single Doo Wop.    But this entry isn't about "that thing"....*LOL*.   Though I need to get "that thing" in order.   It's been a minute since I've talked about "that thing" or anything...*LOL*.    But that's for another post.

So Tasha sent an urgent text to Trina and myself earlier this week concerning our parents.   The fact that Tasha was the one sending this S.O.S. was significant since she hasn't been as involved with caring for my parents until recently.   But she mentioned that she was worried because her boyfriend found two bullet casings near my parent's front porch when he was pulling out the weekly trash.   

We've all been trying unsuccessfully for the last few years to get my parents to move to a smaller place.   It's been a very frustrating process.   It's definitely an emotional thing that's holding them at the house.   Both of them have their health issues and basically our old family home is too much home for them in a nearly dead neighborhood.

Tasha's biggest worry is that my parents are in danger from the neighborhood drug dealers (who have changed ranks yet again due to recent turf wars).   And I totally hate visiting my parents "in the hood" because of that but it would break them if I didn't visit.

Tonight my Dad was complaining about his auto insurance going up and I kept saying location plays a role (a subtle dig to tell him there are other areas besides Detroit to live).   But last round he seemed fine with wanting to move out of Detroit but my Mom still wants to stay in Detroit.   She's only talking about moving a few blocks away to some townhomes near Henry Ford where they go to their doctors.

It's a mess.  I didn't even want to talk to them because I was pissed about the whole situation.   My Dad of course in the course of our conversation asked if I was swinging by for the holiday weekend.   I told him that I wasn't able to...truth is I rather spend my holiday weekend in Chicago.

But I later was talking to my Mom and in the course of our conversation, even with us disagreeing on their living situations, I had to smile because through it all my Mom and I still have "that thing".    What's that thing?   I talked about it before....it's our Libra Connection.   I actually told myself that I would visit Detroit around Father's Day since it would make my Dad really happy.   And lo and behold my Mom tells me that I should come on Father's Day.   I swear even though we don't see eye to eye on some things, we definitely have that...Libra thing...as I like to call it.   We seem to be in tune with our thoughts at times.   Totally wild.

Job Blessings

It's funny.   After I had my own blog therapy session, I just went off and vanished.    But I'm doing fine.  

My friend Sally is doing fine too.   If you remember from my previous blog, Sally had lost her IT job back in late November 2007 and had been looking for an IT job ever since.   It's been a crazy long journey.   She's had so many interviews but no dice.   To make ends meet she was able to get a full time job at retail but it didn't pay nearly as much as she used to get.     So from time to time I assisted her with bills here and there whenever I could.     She got her mortgage refinanced and was able to save her home.

Well God finally answered her prayers and she started a new IT job last Monday.   It's via a consulting firm and the assignment is ten months but it's the boost she needed.    Hopefully she can make connections and land another gig.   But it's just what the doctor ordered.

Thera-E

I'm about to have a deep entry. Or maybe it's just long. I will let you guys decide. Lol.

Jose tells me that I need to speak to a therapist. One morning while I was at his place in San Diego, I was telling him about a recent breakthrough I had on why my attraction to guys gravitated toward bearish bigger men. It'll probably be obvious to the veteran readers of my older blog (I know there's at least 2...LOL). But if you remember my tendency for having a "blonde moment" or two (or three...LOL), you'll forgive me.

So Hemingway I concluded that the reason for my attraction could stem back to my "bully". Basically "bully" was a bigger kid and while he was wrong for violating me, a part of me was turned on. So my breakthrough recently was that I am trying to find "bully" in the big bearish men I seek out. Maybe to close that period in my life. I never really did have closure since I kept quiet on what happened.

I was recounting another childhood incident to him that happened in 7th grade. I borrowed from the library an encyclopedia (specific to the Olympics, not sure exactly what it was called) for some report I needed to do. The glue holding a lot of the book pages together to the frame was loose and a lot of pages were not affixed to the frame. Also some of the pages were written on, others torn up. Knowing what I know now, I would've told the librarian at the time that the book was messed up. Though actually you would've thought that she would notice that. My memories are sketchy when it comes to the checking out part.

But they were very clear upon returning the book. The return of the book actually went without incident. This was because there was a return cart where you could put the book back and later the librarian (or assistant) would check it back to the system.

So a few days later the entire class was in the library studying for something I now don't remember. At some point during this event, the librarian called me up to her desk.

I went and she asked me about the encyclopedia I borrowed and what happened to it. I told her that it was damaged when I checked it out. She basically called me a liar. I argued back that I didn't do anything to the book. We went back and forth and of course the class is now listening in.

My teacher came forward and basically sided with the librarian. So it's two white ladies (I don't know if that detail really matters but I felt like it needed to be said) arguing against me.

They threatened to keep me after school if I didn't admit to damaging the book. All I could think is I didn't want to get in trouble with my parents since I've never was in trouble for anything before (at least that year). So not wanting to involve my parents, I caved in and admitted to damaging the book even though I didn't do so.

I was in tears by that point as they directed me back to my seat. I remember telling my classmates near me afterwards that I didn't do it. Not that any cared.

Thinking about it today, it makes sense that I reacted the way I did. As I blogged in the past, I am guilty of being a people pleaser. By admitting to something I didn't do, I pleased the librarian and teacher and let them bully me into thinking they were right. I indirectly pleased my parents since I didn't involve them in a situation that would require them to come to the school.

A part of me thinks I also did it because on some level I didn't want further embarrassment with my parents coming in the classroom. My sisters and I are first generation US citizens and I think I didn't want my parents to come in the school and perhaps cause me more grief than what couldve been solved by the lie.


I also think I may have been protecting them too. I kept a lot of stuff that I went through to myself. That's why I'm my own worst critic. I beat myself a lot on the 'coulda woulda shoulda's instead of acting out in the moment.

So many possibilities exists but perhaps that's why I need the therapy. But in a lot of ways, that's what I've been doing with my blog. At least I usually feel better after a particularly moving entry.

But perhaps I'm not taking into account what actions I can do to grow from my experiences. So I get caught in the vicious cycle of making the same mistakes over and over again.

Besides black people "don't do no therapy". That's for crazy white folks. At least that's what I've always learned.

It has always been about appearances, especially with my Mama. She was the one to say 'wear clean underwear in case of an accident' , 'don't tell people your business', and other little phrases.

Mind you, I'm not blaming my parents for what happened to me. I ultimately made the choices I did. But if there was one lesson I could've gotten, it would be to stand up for yourself and never let anyone force you to accept their truth if you know it's not your truth. It's a lesson I will teach my future son or daughter. (Yeah I'm still holding on to that dream. LOL). Also it probably would be good to know that if a situation ever came up like that, that I would let my kid know that it's okay if they make you stay afterschool that I would have their back (as long as they tell the truth).


I'm not saying that my parents never taught me that. But I didn't learn the birds and bees from them either. Had to get my experiences in sex from the streets. But I don't know if I would've been receptive to that talk either....*LOL*.

I don't know if things wouldve been different had I gotten that lesson. I might've even made the same mistakes. Jose feels I should talk to my parents about those moments but I don't feel like that would really accomplish anything. This is especially so since both my parents are not in the best of health.


It's just amazing how much your adult life is shaped by the experiences of your childhood. I'm not saying I was a perfect child either. I've definitely done things in my past I'm not proud of. As bad as I had it, there were kids even lower on the totem pole than I that also had it bad. I would never stand up for them either. I was just glad for a few moments that the focus wasn't on me. That doesn't make it right though. If I could I would make amends to those kids as well.


I shudder to think what would've happened if the internet was around during my time growing up. At least once I was home, I was able to get away from the school madness. But it's scary and sad hearing about the cyber bulling that's taking place.


When I think about it, I question if I even want to bring a child into the world. Would I want him or her to go through what I went through. I'd like to think that I would be able to apply my experiences to help them get through the challenges (if any). I would definitely teach my kids to defend themselves and it wouldn't hurt to have them take up a sport or two to encourage socialization and healthy competition so that would give them that extra drive. I would've liked to have done more of those activities growing up but I know stuff like that cost money and my parents didn't have a lot of discretionary income to spread around.


It sounds like I'm making excuses and perhaps I am. But I do know my parents did the best they could under the circumstances and they would have no way of helping me if I didn't open up. So I definitely made my bed there.


We all carry our own baggage I suppose. It's just learning how not to let that baggage dictate your future. I could try to apply that in a way I do with different potential boyfriends. I try to judge them on their own merit and not compare them to past guys. At the same time though I use that past experience to gauge how to handle the present. I think I need to apply that same thing to the bad experiences in life.


It's not like I think about certain bad childhood moments every minute of my life. I would go crazy if I did. But I have to know when I do to accept that I can't change the past but I should learn from it. And hopefully not repeat those same mistakes.


Stand up for myself! If I don't, nobody else will.


So ends my blog therapy for today.

Careless Fun

Hey Ladynay.   It was so cool seeing your comment on my last entry which seemed so long ago.    How you know those were my legs?    Ok fine...they were.     My legs are meaty but the angle of my camera made them look smaller....*LOL*.   That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Hemingway I got back from San Diego last week and overall enjoyed myself.   I stayed in Jose's condo in a comfortable aerobed that he bought for guests.    I got to see the town, visit a few casinos, and some bars, including the Redwing Bar & Grill I mentioned.   I tore the house down with my rendition of Careless Whisper.    It was really sad having to go back home.   I definitely want to go back again.

Here are a few pic highlights.

San Diego Bound

My friend Jose in December got a job offer in San Diego to work at a pharmaceutical company at director of their Human Resources department.    It's a six month job assignment that is perfect since he gets to spend his winter away from frigid Chicago.

Those benefits weren't immediately realized though as Chicago has had unseasonably warm weather for most of December and part of January.   Of course that changed last week with the Midwest's first batch of wintry mayhem.   And today we're expected to get anywhere from 3 to 5 inches.

So Jose told me that I could come visit him anytime while he's up there.    So I took him up on the offer and will be flying there on Valentine's day.    With my remote job, I can work from anywhere as long as I have an ethernet connection.    So I'll be working from his apartment in San Diego on Wednesday and Thursday.    Then I took off Friday and Monday.   So the great thing about that is that I'll have all of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to enjoy the sites of San Diego.   I fly back to Chicago Monday early afternoon.



So I need to get an itinerary ready for things to do.    I'm sure I'll want to hit a beach while I'm there to check out the hot guys.   There is this one beach that has a gay section called Black's Beaches.    It sounds like a bit of a hike to get there though, based on one reviewer's comments:

"Once you arrive at the Torrey Pines gliderport, you've reached the main (intermediate) trail. It's the easiest to hike down (none are easy to hike up, so be sure you're prepared for a workout on the way back), but it also drops you in the middle of the straight section of Blacks Beach. Like many nude beaches, mostly nude men who aren't in shape run around naked, but a few hot guys (and even fewer women) can be seen as well. Many more guys are found in the gay section about a half mile north. It can be reached directly from the advanced trail, which is merely a dirt path at the north end of the parking lot north of the gliderport. This trail is even harder to climb back up, without the assistance of ropes, railroad tie steps, etc. that are found on the main trail."


But it might be worth it to get to the promised land.   And actually Jose lives not far from there.   Depending on his location, we might even be able to walk there.

Of course there's the gay bars.   Jose and I have pretty diverse tastes in guys.    He likes them young and twinky while I like them beefy and bearish.    So coming up with a bar that we both agree to might be a challenge.   But probably not.    With such bar names as The Brass Rail, Pecs, Urban Moe's, and Bourbon Street (a shout out to New Orleans no doubt), hopefully there'll be something between the different bars for both us to enjoy.    I especially wouldn't mind hitting Redwing Bar & Grill as they have a karaoke bar for me to get my sing on.

And then there's the San Diego Zoo, which apparently have sleepovers where you can spend the night there.   Not sure I'd want to but that's an interesting option.

I can't forget about the casinos either since I'm such a casino whore.   There's Pechanga Resort, Harrah's Rincon, Barona's, and Viejas.    Assuming Jose tags along, he'd want to check out some of the steakhouses that are housed there.   The websites of all the main casinos make their restaurants sound so good.

So much other things to do.   There's different parks like Balboa and shopping centers to visit.   I could even go parasailing.   I'm definitely looking forward to my trip and to get away from the crazy weather in Chicago.

Commit Yourself

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

One good thing about the new year is that you can get away with saying Happy New Year even if it's a week or two past the 1st.    Other holidays you pretty much only have that day and then folks look at you weird if you say Happy Thanksgiving in March.

I can't believe another year is upon us.    I rung in the New Year with a hot hookup.   So I guess that means I'll end the year with a hot hookup.   *LOL*.   Of course I do want more.   But I'm getting to the point now that I feel like I'm pretty much going to be single for my remaining time on Earth.   And if I am so be it.    I still would love to have a child even if it means raising him or her alone.   I just have to figure out how to go about doing it.

I was surprised to see my ex Rock's number show up on my caller ID a few weeks back.   I decided not to answer hoping he would leave a message.    But he didn't.    So it's almost like he's putting the burden on me to commit myself to call him since he didn't commit himself to leave a message.   I get he may be afraid to leave a message for risk that I don't call him back anyway but if he's sincerely trying to get in contact, he shouldn't be afraid to put himself out there.   I mean, commit himself.   Take a freaking risk.   While I don't think we would get back together, I would be fine with truly being friends with him.    He did the exact same thing almost a year ago with the random call and no message.    He could've been drunk dialing me for all I know.

I had a good visit with the family over the holiday.   My Dad was my Secret Santa and wound up giving me $100.   With everything he's gone through health wise this past year and still today, I was understanding.   Plus who couldn't use the money (though I blew most of it at a casino...bad boy I know...*LOL*).    It makes for some interesting dynamics adding my sisters' boyfriend and fiance to the Secret Santa mix.    Tasha's boyfriend had my Dad's name and wound up getting him some DVDs on train travel.   His reasoning given was that he recalled my Dad talking about wishing he could travel more and how he enjoys traveling by train, hence his gift.    While my Dad wound up not being too crazy about the DVDs (he said it was literally a film of a camera on a train looking out the window with no narration whatsoever and there were 10 in the set), the thought process behind the gift was cool.    My younger sister Trina's fiance got lucky and had Trina's name so he got her some boots likely from where they both work.    But I can imagine the interesting dynamics if he had to get a gift for my Mom, who to this day is not fond of him.     Or even if my Mom had to get a gift for him.  

But it was me who wound up choosing my younger sister's fiance's name for the second year in a row.   In talking with Trina last year, she mentioned his love for pool.    So inspired by that I thought I would get him a personalized plaque with his name on it establishing a room in his house as his pool area.    I found a company online that I thought would be able to send the gift in time.    They mentioned the 13th of December being the drop dead date when personalized gifts could be guaranteed for a December 23rd delivery.  

Since I knew on the 23rd I would be in Detroit, I decided to have the shipping address be my parent's house.    The company promised once the personalized gift was done, they would send me a tracking number so I can track the package.   It was getting close to the 22nd and I never got a tracking number.   I wanted to call them but it was the morning of my fun train ride to Detroit so I didn't get to contact them till the 23rd.   I called their main number during their so-called business hours and nobody picked up, claiming their associates were busy with other calls, which wasn't true because it kept taking me to their voicemail.   I sent a couple emails with no response either.

Fearing the worst I decided I needed to run to the mall and get a gift.   But only thing I really didn't know what to get.   But fate directed me to JCPenney's at Oakland Mall and I saw that they had a mini-pool table about the length and width of a large size briefcase on sale for 50% off.   I immediately grabbed it and he seemed to like it, of course telling me that I must've talked to Trina.    I wanted to say that I was clairvoyant and just knew but I copped to getting the idea from her.

Luckily I finally heard back from the company on the 27th.   They blamed the vendor for not getting the information for the plaque so effectively not working on it.    So they gave me the option to either have the vendor go ahead with the order or give me a refund.   I opted for the refund.

So gifts aside I did the usual errand running for my parents.    Took my Dad to his weekly blood checkup and to get his new bifocals.    I took my Mom grocery shopping and hitting her favorite spots of CVS and Walgreen's.  

I got to hang with Eugene for a couple hours at the local coffee spot shooting the breeze as well.   He himself had some family drama that he was getting away from.   His younger sister lost her job due to the principal holding a grudge against her that started when she made a complaint about the conditions of her classroom.   But he's hopeful that his sister will find something since she was teaching technology at her old job.  His oldest sister in the meantime had a nervous breakdown.   She was stressed out from losing her job a year back and feeling pressure from everyone.   Eugene himself has found a new teaching job at a different university in Boston after years of dealing with not even having his own office like the rest of the faculty and the bad politics in his department.    It was a bit of a stressful time for him in general.

I even had time to sneak out for a date with a hot older guy (he's 55) from Windsor for lunch at this place called Anita's Kitchen.    He crossed the border to Detroit since I didn't have my passport with me.   Not that I would have time to cross to Windsor even if I did.     He told me he has three kids from a previous marriage all grown, the youngest one living in Amsterdam while on some school study program.   He himself has his own private law firm.    We ended the date with a steamy kiss standing by his car.    It was a bit surreal since we weren't in a gay part of Detroit (I'm not even familiar where that is.).   But he went for it and I didn't push back.   I even reached over for seconds and thirds.   Years ago I would've freaked out on who saw me.   I've progressed somewhat.   So we agreed that I would have to make plans to visit him in Windsor.   So I'll definitely have to do that.

Tasha also invited me to hang out with her for a bit.   I went to her house after my date (and after picking up a few items for my Mom and Dad).   I was greeted by her dogs, well one of them was ready to attack but she's a cute short dog so she can't do much damage, and her boyfriend who was at the house.   She wanted to take me out for a late lunch but I was so full from eating at Anita's Kitchen earlier from my date that I really didn't want to eat.   But since she was hungry we decided on the local Olive Garden.   So we were just talking about general stuff, nothing really significant that I could remember.   We both agreed that somehow we'd have to work on finding somewhere smaller for our parents to live.    For the next few months anyway, we would lose our biggest advocate for the fight, my younger sis Trina.    Her focus is on making plans for her wedding in May.    It'll be interesting to see more of his side of the family since ours is so small.

So all in all it was a good trip.   Coming back to Chicago was a different story.