Can't Hurry Law

Yes time flies way to fast around blogland...*LOL*.   So I'm way overdue for revealing the second truth.   So let's get right to it.

Truth #2:

 I received yet another speeding ticket this past week after coming back from a routine doctor's appointment.

Of course the week in question was months ago.    And actually my court date is on the 25th.   Originally it was scheduled for Jan 18th.   However that weekend I flew off to Reno for the weekend where I actually wound up $80 ahead.  

The situation of my latest dally with the law actually involved another car.    The guy in the second car was tailgating behind me for half a mile on a one lane road.     We both got caught by the light and by that point it became two lanes.   However the guy was still behind me.    So the light changes and we drive along, he's still tailgating me.   Finally he gets an opening and zooms around me and signals back into the left lane.   I see him darting ahead and maybe I accelerated a little.     I see that he's stopped a half block away.    I don't see exactly why he's stopping and surmise that he may be making a left turn.    I get over to the right and that's when a cop comes darting from the left side of the street and orders me to stop.   I seriously didn't even see the cops when they stopped the first guy.

At first I thought there was construction ahead.   Maybe it was an accident.   Or possibly a family of ducks crossing the street.  

I'm confused as he directs me to turn onto a side street.    From my rearview mirror I see my tailgater turning as well.    I note the cop car(s) parked on the side street and realize there's two cops.   And that was where they hid their vehicles.    It make me wonder if that one cop just ran in the middle of the street to stop the first one.   So one cops comes up to me and immediately says I was going 47 in a 35 but the other guy was going 53.   I'm in shock and cursing my bad luck as I hand him my license and registration.    Neither cop was even hot so I couldn't even salvage the sucky situation.

Illinois has this stupid law (or maybe it's Cook County) where they take your driver's license (or if you have a bond card) and hold it hostage until your court date.    I've never understood why they do that as they have a record of you anyway.

I told the cop I was going to contest the ticket even though aside from the circumstances of the pullover, I don't think I have much of a case.

My concern was that I would wind up getting a court date around the time of my Reno trip.   Which I did when I got the notice mid-December.    I emailed the clerk and they mentioned I could come by prior to my court date to request a continuance.

I wound up going to the courthouse three separate times.    I went a few days after the notice hoping I could reschedule.   Unfortunately I should've read between the lines and realized that prior meant a few days before.   So they wouldn't honor my request, instead telling me I had to come back Jan 15 - 17 to see the judge.

So I come back on the 15th.   I get the continuance for February 25th.   Only I thought it was January 25th.    Yup that was my third trip.

And now next Monday makes four trips.    What a waste.   I'm praying for a miracle.    Maybe the cops won't show since it's been almost three months since the incident in question.    We shall see.   Wish me luck blogland.

Speaking In The Buff

I'm currently in Detroit visiting my folks for the holidays.   I took my typical route to hit the city this time of year. It started with a 4:30 AM wake up call.    I still was packing up to the last minute while getting ready for my 5:30 AM taxi.    My new taxi company, 303 Taxi (replacing the less than stellar American Taxi), was at my house ten minutes early.

It was a rainy morning as I was taxied to my local Metra Station.   My driver was lazy not even getting out of his taxi (guess he didn't want to get wet) to help me with my luggage.   But despite that I gave him an extra buck since he was extra early at my place.

After getting my Metra ticket from an extra humorous attendant, I sat down in the bench and waited for the train that would whisk me to Union Station and my Amtrak train which was scheduled to leave at 7:20 AM.

As I sat waiting I couldn't help but overhear the various conversations going on around me.   The most riveting one was between the attendant himself and another lady who I only knew was a teacher.

The big discussion was on whether teachers should be allowed to have firearms in the classroom.    The debate of course is going on everywhere in light of the Newton, CT school shooting tragedy that happened last Friday.    The teacher was against the measure imagining a trigger happy teacher that may decide to shoot an irate student.   The humorous attendant was leaning the same way.

It's interesting though because whenever tragedies like the one in Newton, CT happens, that debate always seem to come up.    And as usual I can see both sides of the debate.  

There is talk of banning semi-automatic weapons is in full swing.   I would support a ban of these weapons as I don't understand why regular folks would need a semi-automatic weapon.   But unfortunately even banning it won't completely eliminate the problem.   Just like with drugs, if folks want them, they will find ways to get them.   Also coming up with a banning takes time which would give those who want a semi plenty of time to stock up before the ban takes effect.

In the meantime I'm thinking as long as a teacher or whomever in the school administration has proper training on handling a regular gun (with required annual re-certification), there shouldn't be a reason for not having some kind of protection available.    As long as risk is mitigated (unfortunately you can't truly eliminate it) against a student or anyone with nefarious intentions stealing said weapon, I'm thinking that allowing handguns for protection isn't a bad option.   But yeah that's definitely a debate of the ages.

So Hemingway my Metra train arrived and I reached Union Station just in time to hop on the big long line boarding Amtrak.   As usual some folks had to be slick trying to cut the line.    It's a wonder there isn't more fights at the station.  

Thankfully I got my own row once boarded.   Typically I wind up having to share a row as more passengers are picked up along the way.   But thankfully this year I had my own row the entire 7 1/2 hour trip.    It's funny how Amtrak from Chicago to Detroit is always late when it comes to arriving in Detroit.    This year was no exception with a 49 minute late arrival.

My Dad picked me up from the station within twenty minutes.   I'll be remaining in the city till the 28th.  

So in the meantime it's time to me to reveal Truth #1 in my "Two Truths and a Lie" game.

Without further adieu, Truth #1 is:



"I hired a man to clean my house in the nude."

Yes it's true.   I saw an ad almost two years ago from a man advertising his services.   Basically he will clean, repair, or assist in anyway whatever you need done to the house.   And he would do it in the nude.   He showed me pictures of himself of course.  I have to say he keeps himself in pretty good shape.  

Besides the nice views of watching him clean, he offered a rate that was $20 cheaper and an hour longer than my current Merry Maids.   Plus since there is no middle man, he gets the entire amount of cash, so I don't necessarily have to tip extra though I will actually give him a gift card in addition to his rate when he comes over next time.

He's helped me so much in the time I've had him.   In addition to cleaning he's helped me install a replacement toilet (including picking up the new toilet at Home Depot...and yes he was clothed in public...*LOL*), replace a faucet, install a new light fixture, flip a mattress, and help put together a giant 36 X 48 frame I bought for a blow up of one of my skydiving pics.

I really appreciate having him actually.    He told me that he just enjoys the freedom of being naked around the house.   I think he allows his clients to touch him or what not but I've actually pretty much kept things hands off except for an occasional shoulder tap.

It turned out too that he bowls at a gay bowling league that I joined a few years back.    It's a once a month league that meets on the first Saturday of the month.   So we get to socialize briefly at the alley as well.   And since I don't know if everyone knows about his extracurricular activities, I don't discuss that with him.

So yeah that's the first truth.   I'll reveal the other truth in another post.  

EVRIP

I'll do a post on my first of my two truths soon but I had to comment on the state of En Vogue.   I'm clearly behind on the latest happenings as I was shocked today to come across this video on Youtube where now Maxine and Dawn are on one side of the fence battling against Terry and Cindy.



Apparently the interviews happened in September 2012 a few months after Maxine left the group.    It appears the ladies couldn't agree on a new contract.    The last I had heard was that Cindy, Terry, and Maxine were basically stuck in a bad contract and was trying to get out of it.    I guess maybe this was Maxine's way of getting out.

I had high hopes that the four would come up with some kind of compromise so they could work on new material.   I especially was hopeful when SWV got back together and came up with a new album. That album I Missed Us overall is pure unadulterated SWV on the "2012 tip".    It's unfortunately not getting much airplay since unfortunately the state of R&B is not the same way it was in the 80's and 90's.   But I figured if SWV could get it together and do an album, why not En Vogue?

But alas it isn't meant to be.   Maxine and Dawn do sound credible in their interview that they did.    They are now a duo now called "Heirs" (in other words, the true heirs to the "En Vogue" throne).   It'll be interesting to hear some songs from the two of them.   I kinda thought Cindy and Terry were lacking that En Vogue sound without the other two.    Will Maxine and Dawn have that same problem?   Arguably I'd say that Maxine and Dawn were the stronger vocals of the four but are they really the true heirs to the throne?    Or is the answer somewhere in between.   Maybe a compromise...something the four of them just couldn't do.

Why can't these ladies get it together?  Oh well there's always their older body of work to remember them by.

Guess they all got the gun and they triggered a mess from it.



To the original EN VOGUE,  Rest In Peace!

Chillaxed Much

I'm feeling way too chillaxed these days.   In fact my entry will be short and sweet.    I need to snap myself out of my non-blogging mood.    Actually let me play two truths and one lie to summarize what's been happening in my life in the last couple weeks.    Two of them really happened.   One of them is a bold faced lie.


1)  I received yet another speeding ticket this past week after coming back from a routine doctor's appointment.

2)  I hired a man to clean my house in the nude.

3)  I discovered raccoon poop in my back patio.


Hopefully I can get myself back in the blogging mood before long.

In Tandem

I survived my birthday tandem jump.   Overall it was a great experience.   I was actually okay on the plane ride.    I was only nervous when it was time to do the actual jump.   I had completely forgotten the quick lessons that my instructor gave and he had to open my hands and open the chute.   I kept my hands in the initial prayer position that they told us to put it in.    Now that I think about it, the reason they tell you to do it that way is so that you're not pushing your hands against the side of the plane trying to keep from jumping out.    Something like this scary video:

In a later interview she said basically her knees had given out and she needed to use the side of the plane for support.   Unfortunately her diver didn't secure her properly to the harness and that's when all hell broke loose on the air.

Luckily my dive went much better.   So I can cross off one more item off my imaginary bucket list.

Next stop...Reno!

It's The Big One

Omgosh I can't believe it's finally here.   Well technically it's almost here.   The moment I've been anticipating.   I can't say I've been waiting for it but it's coming like a freight train.  My thirties are coming to an end and I officially become a 40 year old.    Next year (sigh which is only a few months away) I can say I'm a forty-something.

I thought I'd ring in my 40th doing something really memorable.   Here's a video of what I plan on doing on my 40th, which is officially on the 15th.



Well I won't be doing everything those guys are doing.   Mine will be pretty basic I think.   If I survive that the plan is the following week to fly into Reno for a few days and check out the casino scene as well as Lake Tahoe.

Definitely excited and nervous about the 15th but I'm sure it'll be okay.

Keep me in your prayers.

No Way Jose

This is gonna be a long entry.   But hey I haven't blogged in over a month so I'm due.

I go from family drama in my last entry to friend, well it's former friend now, drama.    My friendship (if I  could really call it that) was put to the test during a routine movie night.   Jose, fresh back from his seven month stint in San Diego, called me late July wanting to catch a movie.    The first movie he mentioned wanting to see was Magic Mike.

It was actually the second time that movie was suggested to me.  Believe it or not I didn't even have it on my radar prior.   Sally asked me if I wanted to see it with her and after she told me what it was about, I told her that it wasn't my cup of tea.   It sounded like one of those movies that I would rather wait till it came out on DVD (which actually I'm guessing it should be coming out in October sometime just in time for my 40th).   So I had suggested seeing Avengers instead.   That went without incident.

I can't say the same for my movie night with Jose.   I told Jose that I wasn't feeling the movie but I sensed that he really wanted to see it and when he made other suggestions, none of the other choices interested me. That night would be the first time I would've hung out with Jose since my last visit to San Diego.   I decided against my better judgment to go see Magic Mike with him.

Not really wanting to deal with an ignorant usher, I chose to get my ticket at the kiosk when I reached the theater.   As I was in the process of figuring out the kiosk, Jose came up behind me.    We greeted each other and then he went to the kiosk next to mine to attempt and purchase a ticket as well.    He was having trouble with using that kiosk and also using the one I did so he wound up going to an usher to purchase.   That actually went fine.

So then after getting snacks (I only got water since I had eaten a heavy lunch earlier) we give our tickets to the usher.   He gave us a snide look as he directed us to the theater way in the back on the lower level.   The majority of folks were ushered upstairs for other shows and the only folks going down the lower level were women so Jose and I really stood out.

The show was in a room way down the end of the long hallway.    It was like the longest walk ever (longer than when I came out to my parents...lol).   I made some small talk with Jose as we walked down to try and ease my mind a bit.

Once we entered the room where it was playing though, whatever little ease I got from the small talk, went away.   The theater was semi-packed and all I could see was women.   As far as I could tell, Jose and I were the only two men in the room.   I totally was out of my comfort zone as Jose and I made our way for some seats.    I heard Jose tell a lady in a seat behind ours that 'it wasn't assigned seating'.   I didn't even hear the lady but I guess she must've said something about saving the seats for somebody.

So we sat down and I was a bit stone-faced.   Jose was cool as a cucumber.   I admit that I shouldn't care what folks think about me watching a movie that is catered to women but I did.   After a minute Jose wanted to move (I'm assuming the same lady he had the exchange with was doing annoying stuff behind him) so we wound up moving to a different section.

It's possible Jose may have been joking but he said that there was a lady attempting to take a picture of us.   That made me even more mortified.

It felt like an eternity before the movie started.   It finally kicked off.   The movie had it ups and downs but it mostly left me feeling like I could've waited for the DVD.   Unfortunately almost throughout the second half of the movie, the lady that was sitting behind me decided to use the back of my chair as a leg rest.   I was too uncomfortable to do anything but push back against my chair to compete with her pushing on the back of mine.   When it was finally over I immediately got up and turned around and I saw the bitch run off upstairs.

I told Jose I never again was going to put myself in a situation like that.   I sheepishly tried to smile as we walked out of the theater with the throngs of women that were leaving.   When we reached near the exit, Jose wanted to find a restroom.   The same usher who gave the snide look asked us how it was.   Afterwards he made a snide comment that the movie probably made us want to go to the strip bar and jack off.

I rolled my eyes as I followed Jose to the restroom (to jack off...NOT!).   I could see that my reaction throughout the evening was affecting Jose and he kind of gave me a rushed goodbye.

I felt guilty about my behavior and called him later.   He acted like nothing was amiss and even said he was looking to 'order in' (code for having a booty call come over).  I still felt like things weren't right between us as we hung up.

I got that confirmation a month ago (August 9).   Two weeks or so before that date I called Jose and got his voicemail.   I chalked it up to his being busy.    He mentioned prior to that fateful night that he was going to several different interviews for a new consulting position.

A week went by and I didn't hear from him so I called again.   Got his voicemail again.   I dismissed my fears about him being mad at me with assuming that maybe he was traveling (he does travel quite a bit for different vacation just recently coming back from his own trip to Spain) somewhere and didn't get a chance to check in.

I called again on August 6th and got the voicemail again.   I waited till the 9th and called again.   Voicemail.  I  realized that he definitely must be avoiding me.    I wondered if Jose was done with whatever we had but I felt like Jose being the person he is, would've been man enough to tell me to my face (or at least over the phone).    He's never been one to shy away from saying how he feels.   That's just how he rolls.

I was calling his cellphone the entire time but decided to call once more but this time his home phone.   Do I even need to say that v-word again?   I decided that I wanted to pay a visit to him that day to find out what was going on.   I was working from home that day and it was near my lunch break anyway.   I had my suspicions but a part of me just wondered if he was okay.

So Jose lives in a high-rise and has a doorman.   I went up to the doorman and not knowing whether Jose was home or not, I told him that I was there to see Jose.   He proceeds to call and gets an answer.   My heart literally sank as I got the confirmation that Jose was avoiding me.

I wasn't even sure he was going to let me come up and I was preparing in my mind some excuse to tell the doorman so I could quickly leave but the doorman said to go ahead and he buzzed me in.   It was the longest elevator ride up to Jose's floor (sensing a theme yet...*LOL*).

So I get to his entryway and he already has the door open.   Jose's place is in disarray since he's in the midst of doing some remodeling.   So he's all fake cheery as he runs to his home office and tells me to sit down.   He didn't even give me a chance to ask him what was going on.   He runs back and hands me a paper.   I was still standing at this point but he said I needed to sit down for what he was going to tell me.

Basically the paper was an email that he sent to me as I was making my way to his place.   The funny thing is I didn't even look at my phone otherwise I would've gotten it mid-way before arriving.    In his own words he said that he saw a whole other side of me when we were at the movies and that he didn't like it.   He said that I don't listen to anything he says and that I'm always playing the victim when it comes to dealing with situations.   He said that my friends (particularly Eugene and Sally) take advantage of me and I let them.   He then said that he has his own issues (yes he does but I won't list them...*LOL*) he's dealing with and he felt like if we continued to hang out, he would be enabling me and saying it's okay to 'play the victim' so he wanted to end whatever it was that we had.   He said friendship of course but in my mind if after one bad situation you're ready to call it quits then we really weren't friends to begin with.

I sat there dumbfounded as he was saying all this and I was reading his email.   I was racking my brain trying to recall any other times where Jose and I had a bad experience and couldn't recall one.   I do realize that I shouldn't give a damn if everyone knew the moment we walked in that we were two gay guys (who might even be sleeping with each other...even though that was almost two years back since that happened) and there were plenty of times when I didn't give a damn.   I can't even count the number of times we went out for dinner and I know some people assumed we were dating (or planning to fuck afterwards) and I didn't give a damn.   Especially at Italian restaurants...*LOL*.

I think too he was referring to how I handle situations that happen.   In general I don't like confrontation and will usually look for non confrontational ways to deal with those situations.   I know of course you do have to confront things head on at times and eventually I find a way to do so even if I don't always get the desired results.

One thing he kept harping on was how I would tell him 'that's just the way I am'.    And while it's definitely a good thing to change bad habits, anyone who has those habits know that it's something that won't change overnight.

In his mind I should've been calling a therapist to deal with my issues.    He mentioned that before while I was recounting my childhood in San Diego and he's said it a couple times before that.   Since I was taking no steps to get help and not listening to him on other matters (like changing my job...he's a career coach), he felt he shouldn't be around me.

As for my friends I definitely felt he was out of line there.   But he did acknowledge that he came 'late to the party' (I've known Eugene and Sally longer) and knows I don't agree with his viewpoint.   He met Eugene once and I will admit Eugene didn't exactly make a good first impression.    Basically Eugene was preoccupied playing backgammon on his phone instead of our conversation.   I tried non verbally to tell Eugene to put his phone away but of course he wasn't having it.

I shared with Jose in the past some of the difficulties Eugene was having at his last job with certain folks.   He did wind up finding another gig with another university and thankfully other than moving halfway across the state he doesn't have to relocate.   Jose basically told me that Eugene is rude and arrogant and that he could see why he's having problems with his job.

He never even met Sally but I did confide to him about her losing her job and how I've been helping her financially over the years whenever she asks.   It's not like I'm rich or anything but if she needs extra to pay her phone bill or gas or need groceries and I have a little bit extra, I've given it to her.

I've known Sally for over 17 years and for him to come along and say that she's taking advantage of me is an insult to me.   I have told Sally a few times that I couldn't help her at certain times but just gave when I could. It's not like I've been giving money to her left and right.

I was dismayed that he had to drag my friends into his fight with me when I'm the one he had an issue with.   I could've easily said some things about his "so-called" friends who are more like acquaintances.   Honestly other than this one nice lesbian couple who I think are genuine from my brief interactions with them, I feel like   the rest of his posse are only there for what they can do for each other.

Jose's forever telling me about all these weddings (he's goes to at least 5-6 weddings a year...so at least 12 in the two years I've known him) he goes to and how he's always buying gifts for them and how they're always having gatherings at these swanky mansions and locations.   I feel like if any of them were to ever fall into hard times (like Sally did), that they would slowly drift themselves out of his life and he would drift from them as well.   Basically not take the calls or call back when they know that person won't answer and say 'I'm sorry.'    But of course I don't really know his so-called friends like that.   Though I can infer that would happen from how he treated me.    But I would never say anything like that to him because that's rude and disrespectful and I don't have any history with his "business acquaintances".    But yet he chose to do that to me.

So basically he told me to have a nice life as I left his place.  When I got back home I read his email on the computer and decided to write my response to him.

I expressed how disappointed I was that he chose to end whatever it was we had.   I told him that I wished I had stuck with my first instinct and not chose 'Magic Mike'.   However I added that maybe it was meant to happen like it did.   I truly believe that some things are meant to happen and if it wasn't 'Magic Mike', he would've found some other reason to end it.   Clearly he was looking to get out.

Whatever it was we had I did appreciate having him in my life.  Like I said before he offered me an additional perspective on things and even if I didn't follow his advice or do things as he wanted, I ultimately appreciated having him in my life.

I was sad at that time but I didn't cry.   The funny thing is that I kinda went through several phases to get over him.   First phase I was in denial.   Pretty much I was in denial the entire time he was giving his reasons for ending whatever it was we had.    Then I was sad for my loss, which I expressed in my email.    Then I had the angry phase (which I kinda am having again as I write this) like who the fuck does he think he is.   What a selfish prick he is.   But now I've come to the acceptance part.

I'm reminded of this quote.   I don't even know where it comes from.

"People always come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME."

I'll choose to remember the positive SEASONs that Jose and I had.   Even though I think ultimately he made a mistake, he has to live with it, not me.