Forking Forward

As I mentioned in my last post I had a follow up appointment with my anal specialist.   The specialist wound up moving to another practice in Chicago so at first I was going to go with another specialist in the same practice.   But when I called to confirm if the new specialist was going to do an anal pap smear, the nurse suggested I go to my original specialist in Chicago.     Anal pap smears aren't being done in a lot of places and I really didn't want to have another high resolution anoscopy to check for abnormalities as that would require being put under and several days of recovery.    So I wound up going to my original specialist at his new practice.

The anal pap smear went well and I got the best news possible.    There were no more abnormalities found and that I just have to follow up again in a year.     I was definitely relieved at the news.

Around that same time I had a quick email chat with a new guy.   Actually Dom wasn't all that new.   I tried chatting with him two years back but he didn't follow up with me.    So in early September he sent me a couple compliments on my pics but recalling how it went back then, I didn't respond right away.    When I did get back to him, I kept it short and simple.

So Dom is the organist for a local GLBTQ church in Gary, IN.  So yeah he lives an hour and some change from me currently.    He invited me to his church to check it out and to meet him afterwards.    That went well.   We seemed to have an instant connection.   He lives not too far from the lakefront so after service we walked there.    He took several opportunities to kiss me along the lakefront.    He stated his particular area was considered gay friendly and while he's not a full on PDA type of person, he does like sneaking in kisses here and there.    And I really did enjoy our kisses.    We went back to his place (against his rules) and spent a nice afternoon there before I took off.

Later that week his church was having its first movie night so he invited me to that.   I wound up spending the night with him.   Subsequently we've been seeing each other several more times and even most of the congregation at his church seemed to take a liking to me.    It's going on a month and a half since our first meeting.   

So Dom and I agreed that we should take our time getting to know each other before committing.   One thing he has going for him is that we've met more times than I've had with any other guy since ending things with Rock in 2008.    That's actually kind of sad but my luck with guys have been really shitty.

I've had to adjust to the concept of going to church regularly again, something I haven't done in years.    It's not that I don't believe in God but I've of course been used to not going regularly.   Also it's a small church and he goes an hour and a half early so I've had to go early too (since we're not at that stage yet where he's comfortable leaving me alone at his place).    It's a little awkward at times interacting with the congregation cause some of course keep inquiring on where Dom and I stand, which is really none of their business but in a way since Dom includes me in his church activities, it is.    He's bought past dates to meet him at his service as well.   It's a bit atypical but since he's a school teacher and goes to bed early, he really has limited time to interact with dates so he tells them up front that church is a big part of his life and anyone who wants to be with him, will have to understand that.

Also Dom is coming into my life on the tail end of my health issues.   I've told him about my HPV and how thankfully everything is clear now (even though it's likely dormant in my system).    But he hasn't been there through my surgeries and recovery.    I hope I don't have any recurrences or another abnormal pap smear but if I do, will he be there or will he freak out and run away?

So many questions which is why I'm glad we're taking our time and getting to know each other, even though we've hit home base a couple times already.   I know it's bad but it was so good...*LOL*.

The Fork In E's Road

Wow...time really has gone so fast.   It's been a crazy year dealing with some personal health issues as well as those of my parents.    Since my last entry, my parents have had their home shot at, my Mom had a breakdown as the result of said shooting, and after over 36 years of living in their home, they finally downgraded to a smaller 2 bedroom senior living apartment.   They officially moved there a few days before Christmas 2013.    Somehow they managed to move almost 9 bedrooms of stuff into the unit, so it's quite cluttered.   At least though they are in a somewhat safer environment.

I myself had to deal with some minor outpatient procedures for anal dysplasia a few times last year and this year due to an occurrence and recurrence of anal warts, which I first discovered in February 2013 but didn't talk about prior to now.    It's an embarrassing thing to happen but is actually quite common.    They say anywhere from 50% to 80% of sexually active persons gets HPV so I'm not alone.    The procedure itself lasts about 15 - 20 minutes and you're knocked out so you have no idea what's going on.   But you definitely feel the pain for several days afterwards and that first bowel movement, post surgery, let's just say, it's a mother.

I haven't had a recurrence of the warts since June 2013 but unfortunately last February I was found to still have abnormal cells in my anal area, which they call anal dysplasia and had to have a procedure last March to remove them.    I have a six month follow up at the end of the month where they will do an anal pap smear to see if there's still abnormal cells.    If there are, unfortunately I'll have to have yet another outpatient procedure to remove them.    I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not the case.

My friend Sally, who's had her own trials and turbulations over the years, was there for me during all three of my outpatient procedures to take me to the hospital.   I'm grateful for her as outside of her, my friend Eugene, and my sisters Tasha and Trina, I haven't shared with anyone extensively about my health issue...till now.

Now that I shared all that...*LOL*.

My dating life has completely sucked, partially due to my situation, but mostly due to the assholes I'm unfortunately drawn to.   I'm at the point now I'm wondering if I may be better off moving to a different state to start over.    Though yes I know assholes are everywhere...*LOL*.

I do know that I'm ready to get the hell out of my townhome that I'm living in now.    I've wanted to move for years but didn't due to the economy.   Thankfully I've had my job (yeah the same one I've been talking about getting away from...*LOL*) for over 17 years now which has helped keep me afloat.    But I'm so ready to make a change and move elsewhere.    My new next door neighbor, who I think is on the DL, is a total dick.   He got off on the wrong foot when the first words out of his mouth after introducing himself to me was if he could store some stuff in my garage.    Since then we've pretty much been ignoring each other when we happen to be outside at same time.   Worse yet another new neighbor decided this year to organize a block party which made me realize as the only double minority how out of place I really am on the block.   Most of my neighbors across from me are cordial but there were definitely a few dicks and dickettes that I could do without.   In fact next year I think I'll go out of town.

In all honesty though I wanted to move a while ago so the recent incidents just added more fuel to that fire.   I haven't been happy living here for a long time.    I'm looking now to fix up the place so I can get it on the market hopefully by 2015 or 2016 but trying not to spend too much since I likely won't get a lot back.

For now I do want to move more eastward closer to the city and hopefully to a more diverse area where I'm not the only black or gay person.   But I'm contemplating whether I should downsize and move back to an apartment.    I mean I'm gonna be 42 in October.   I don't have any kids and probably won't at the rate I'm going.    What's the point of having a house, especially since I don't really use the deck and I'm not fond of gardening.   Plus it's annoying having to pay for all repairs.

Also I'm thinking I may want to move out of Illinois and if I do, I don't want to be tied to a house since it'll take longer to unload.    The "American Dream" of owning a home I've learned is really the "American Nightmare".  

I have a lot to think about.  I don't even know where I want to go.   A part of me don't want to live much further from my parents (currently 5 hours away) though I have to balance that with needing to live my own life.   I've thought of Toronto, Vancouver (though I've never been...*LOL*), Atlanta, and even good ol' Charlotte again.   Of course I'll have to find a job before moving and that in itself is a challenge.

Yes life is a trip.    But it goes on and on and hopefully I'll find time to keep this updated.

Great Date

It's been awhile since I've spoken about dating.   I haven't had much luck lately in that department.   It's been so bad I haven't wanted to talk about it at all.   But tonight I actually met a great guy and for once things went well and we're even talking about getting together again.    Best thing is that we didn't fool around since we met in a neutral location.    Indy and I first met via one of my social networking sites and hit it right off.    We've been texting on and off for nearly four days before deciding to meet on the 19th.

It so happen I was meeting my old friend Grafinia to hang out after not seeing her in ages.   She's happily married and we both took a half day at our respective jobs to basically hang out.   We went to this downtown Chicago hotspot called Havana and shared a pitcher of Mojito.     I mentioned that I was meeting Indy a little later and she walked down with me to meet him to satisfy her curiosity. 

It's been a while since I had a great date that I actually wouldn't mind seeing again.   We texted some more after parting ways so hopefully that's a good sign.    We talked about getting together again next week so we shall see.

Stay tuned.

I Love This Woman

Heh...don't worry, I still am strictly dickly.    But Chante Moore is one of my favorite artists ever and this live acapella version of Listen To My Song confirms that love.



Ohh...and in other news I wound up having to pay court fees, which were $60 more than the ticket itself, but the ticket was dropped, so that was good.   Cop did wind up showing up unfortunately.

Will post more another time but had to share that video.

Can't Hurry Law

Yes time flies way to fast around blogland...*LOL*.   So I'm way overdue for revealing the second truth.   So let's get right to it.

Truth #2:

 I received yet another speeding ticket this past week after coming back from a routine doctor's appointment.

Of course the week in question was months ago.    And actually my court date is on the 25th.   Originally it was scheduled for Jan 18th.   However that weekend I flew off to Reno for the weekend where I actually wound up $80 ahead.  

The situation of my latest dally with the law actually involved another car.    The guy in the second car was tailgating behind me for half a mile on a one lane road.     We both got caught by the light and by that point it became two lanes.   However the guy was still behind me.    So the light changes and we drive along, he's still tailgating me.   Finally he gets an opening and zooms around me and signals back into the left lane.   I see him darting ahead and maybe I accelerated a little.     I see that he's stopped a half block away.    I don't see exactly why he's stopping and surmise that he may be making a left turn.    I get over to the right and that's when a cop comes darting from the left side of the street and orders me to stop.   I seriously didn't even see the cops when they stopped the first guy.

At first I thought there was construction ahead.   Maybe it was an accident.   Or possibly a family of ducks crossing the street.  

I'm confused as he directs me to turn onto a side street.    From my rearview mirror I see my tailgater turning as well.    I note the cop car(s) parked on the side street and realize there's two cops.   And that was where they hid their vehicles.    It make me wonder if that one cop just ran in the middle of the street to stop the first one.   So one cops comes up to me and immediately says I was going 47 in a 35 but the other guy was going 53.   I'm in shock and cursing my bad luck as I hand him my license and registration.    Neither cop was even hot so I couldn't even salvage the sucky situation.

Illinois has this stupid law (or maybe it's Cook County) where they take your driver's license (or if you have a bond card) and hold it hostage until your court date.    I've never understood why they do that as they have a record of you anyway.

I told the cop I was going to contest the ticket even though aside from the circumstances of the pullover, I don't think I have much of a case.

My concern was that I would wind up getting a court date around the time of my Reno trip.   Which I did when I got the notice mid-December.    I emailed the clerk and they mentioned I could come by prior to my court date to request a continuance.

I wound up going to the courthouse three separate times.    I went a few days after the notice hoping I could reschedule.   Unfortunately I should've read between the lines and realized that prior meant a few days before.   So they wouldn't honor my request, instead telling me I had to come back Jan 15 - 17 to see the judge.

So I come back on the 15th.   I get the continuance for February 25th.   Only I thought it was January 25th.    Yup that was my third trip.

And now next Monday makes four trips.    What a waste.   I'm praying for a miracle.    Maybe the cops won't show since it's been almost three months since the incident in question.    We shall see.   Wish me luck blogland.

Speaking In The Buff

I'm currently in Detroit visiting my folks for the holidays.   I took my typical route to hit the city this time of year. It started with a 4:30 AM wake up call.    I still was packing up to the last minute while getting ready for my 5:30 AM taxi.    My new taxi company, 303 Taxi (replacing the less than stellar American Taxi), was at my house ten minutes early.

It was a rainy morning as I was taxied to my local Metra Station.   My driver was lazy not even getting out of his taxi (guess he didn't want to get wet) to help me with my luggage.   But despite that I gave him an extra buck since he was extra early at my place.

After getting my Metra ticket from an extra humorous attendant, I sat down in the bench and waited for the train that would whisk me to Union Station and my Amtrak train which was scheduled to leave at 7:20 AM.

As I sat waiting I couldn't help but overhear the various conversations going on around me.   The most riveting one was between the attendant himself and another lady who I only knew was a teacher.

The big discussion was on whether teachers should be allowed to have firearms in the classroom.    The debate of course is going on everywhere in light of the Newton, CT school shooting tragedy that happened last Friday.    The teacher was against the measure imagining a trigger happy teacher that may decide to shoot an irate student.   The humorous attendant was leaning the same way.

It's interesting though because whenever tragedies like the one in Newton, CT happens, that debate always seem to come up.    And as usual I can see both sides of the debate.  

There is talk of banning semi-automatic weapons is in full swing.   I would support a ban of these weapons as I don't understand why regular folks would need a semi-automatic weapon.   But unfortunately even banning it won't completely eliminate the problem.   Just like with drugs, if folks want them, they will find ways to get them.   Also coming up with a banning takes time which would give those who want a semi plenty of time to stock up before the ban takes effect.

In the meantime I'm thinking as long as a teacher or whomever in the school administration has proper training on handling a regular gun (with required annual re-certification), there shouldn't be a reason for not having some kind of protection available.    As long as risk is mitigated (unfortunately you can't truly eliminate it) against a student or anyone with nefarious intentions stealing said weapon, I'm thinking that allowing handguns for protection isn't a bad option.   But yeah that's definitely a debate of the ages.

So Hemingway my Metra train arrived and I reached Union Station just in time to hop on the big long line boarding Amtrak.   As usual some folks had to be slick trying to cut the line.    It's a wonder there isn't more fights at the station.  

Thankfully I got my own row once boarded.   Typically I wind up having to share a row as more passengers are picked up along the way.   But thankfully this year I had my own row the entire 7 1/2 hour trip.    It's funny how Amtrak from Chicago to Detroit is always late when it comes to arriving in Detroit.    This year was no exception with a 49 minute late arrival.

My Dad picked me up from the station within twenty minutes.   I'll be remaining in the city till the 28th.  

So in the meantime it's time to me to reveal Truth #1 in my "Two Truths and a Lie" game.

Without further adieu, Truth #1 is:



"I hired a man to clean my house in the nude."

Yes it's true.   I saw an ad almost two years ago from a man advertising his services.   Basically he will clean, repair, or assist in anyway whatever you need done to the house.   And he would do it in the nude.   He showed me pictures of himself of course.  I have to say he keeps himself in pretty good shape.  

Besides the nice views of watching him clean, he offered a rate that was $20 cheaper and an hour longer than my current Merry Maids.   Plus since there is no middle man, he gets the entire amount of cash, so I don't necessarily have to tip extra though I will actually give him a gift card in addition to his rate when he comes over next time.

He's helped me so much in the time I've had him.   In addition to cleaning he's helped me install a replacement toilet (including picking up the new toilet at Home Depot...and yes he was clothed in public...*LOL*), replace a faucet, install a new light fixture, flip a mattress, and help put together a giant 36 X 48 frame I bought for a blow up of one of my skydiving pics.

I really appreciate having him actually.    He told me that he just enjoys the freedom of being naked around the house.   I think he allows his clients to touch him or what not but I've actually pretty much kept things hands off except for an occasional shoulder tap.

It turned out too that he bowls at a gay bowling league that I joined a few years back.    It's a once a month league that meets on the first Saturday of the month.   So we get to socialize briefly at the alley as well.   And since I don't know if everyone knows about his extracurricular activities, I don't discuss that with him.

So yeah that's the first truth.   I'll reveal the other truth in another post.  

EVRIP

I'll do a post on my first of my two truths soon but I had to comment on the state of En Vogue.   I'm clearly behind on the latest happenings as I was shocked today to come across this video on Youtube where now Maxine and Dawn are on one side of the fence battling against Terry and Cindy.



Apparently the interviews happened in September 2012 a few months after Maxine left the group.    It appears the ladies couldn't agree on a new contract.    The last I had heard was that Cindy, Terry, and Maxine were basically stuck in a bad contract and was trying to get out of it.    I guess maybe this was Maxine's way of getting out.

I had high hopes that the four would come up with some kind of compromise so they could work on new material.   I especially was hopeful when SWV got back together and came up with a new album. That album I Missed Us overall is pure unadulterated SWV on the "2012 tip".    It's unfortunately not getting much airplay since unfortunately the state of R&B is not the same way it was in the 80's and 90's.   But I figured if SWV could get it together and do an album, why not En Vogue?

But alas it isn't meant to be.   Maxine and Dawn do sound credible in their interview that they did.    They are now a duo now called "Heirs" (in other words, the true heirs to the "En Vogue" throne).   It'll be interesting to hear some songs from the two of them.   I kinda thought Cindy and Terry were lacking that En Vogue sound without the other two.    Will Maxine and Dawn have that same problem?   Arguably I'd say that Maxine and Dawn were the stronger vocals of the four but are they really the true heirs to the throne?    Or is the answer somewhere in between.   Maybe a compromise...something the four of them just couldn't do.

Why can't these ladies get it together?  Oh well there's always their older body of work to remember them by.

Guess they all got the gun and they triggered a mess from it.



To the original EN VOGUE,  Rest In Peace!