Unplanned Hospital Stay

 Dom has been in the hospital since July 30th.   He mentioned first feeling an itchy feeling in his urethra when wanting to pee back on July 18th.    At that time we were visiting his Mom and staying in Peru, Indiana for the Peru annual Circus City festival.   Technically we didn't go to the Circus but outside the circus there were displays of different food fare and various other items. 

Dom really wanted a pork tenderloin.   There was a place he wanted to go but it required purchasing tickets.   We purchased the tickets but held off on getting the tenderloins until we did a lap around the festival.    We were also wanting elephant ears and we purchased ice cream.   But by the time we got back, they apparently had no more pork tenderloins, which made Dom angry.   At first they were saying we were out of luck as far as getting our money back but thankfully the owner did give it back to us.   But I'm digressing.

The next time he complained about it was the following weekend.   He started feeling feverish late Friday into Saturday (July 24 - 25).   Then on Sunday he felt better but then the fever came back Monday.   He went back and forth again until finally on the 30th we knew we had to go to the hospital.

I went to work that morning and got busy with cases.   I messaged Dom that morning to let him know I made it to work safely but he didn't respond.   It wasn't unusual since when I left him, he was asleep and he is known to sleep in these days.    But he didn't message me at all during the day.   He would usually message around mid-day.   So when I was able to get a long break finally (which wasn't until 2:15 PM), I found a break area and called Dom.

When he answered he was very lethargic and was saying how he wasn't feeling well at all and that he needed to go to the Emergency Room.   I looked at the time and told him that I could catch the 3:15 PM train and get home before 4:30 PM.   After we hung up, I realized there was no 3:15 train.    The next train after that was 3:40 PM.   There was a 2:45 PM train but I wouldn't make it to the train station in time to catch it.    So I resigned myself to catch the 3:40 train.   Luckily work had slowed down and I was able to leave earlier.

I got home closer to 5PM.  I parked near the front steps of the house since the plan was to take him straight to emergency.   I ran up the stairs, unlocked the door, came into the house, and stopped in my tracks in the hallway.   From where I stood I could see the bathroom toilet.    To my shock there was a huge pile of shit laying on the back of the lower seat and bottom of the upper seat.

I freaked out and went to check on Dom who appeared confused for a bit.   He was not well and expressed needing to go to the hospital.     He was so weak though that he couldn't move.   Dom is a bigger guy too so me trying to move him was impossible.

In the meantime while he was trying to gather his strength, I decided that I needed to clean the toilet.  I took some wipes and was able to remove the majority of the poop from the seat and dumped it in the toilet.   I then cleaned it the best I could though some poop was stuck in the crevices.

It was a good thing I cleaned it up since Dom mentioned needing to go again.   Dom was slow to get up and was barely able to move.   I teared up and expressed remorse for going to the office though in all honestly we should've went to the ER last weekend.

We eventually made our way to the hospital though not before putting a chucks pad in the passenger seat.   Dom smelled of poop since he wasn't able to clean himself very well.    We made it to the ER just before 5:30 and thankfully before there was a larger crowd of folks waiting.    He was able to get seen relatively quickly in less than 30 minutes.

They took a lot of blood to test it with some cultures.   They also took a urine sample.   After some time it was determined that he had a yeast blood infection.   The suspicion was that the Jardiance that he's taking now for diabetes was a likely cause.   Based on the infection it was determined that he would need to check in at the hospital.

His court date was the next morning on July 31st.   But there was no way he would be able to attend.   I wound up going to the court house that morning and letting the clerk know that Dom had a medical emergency.   I also ran into the plaintiff's attorney and explained the situation.   He mentioned that he would let the judge know and put in a request for a continuance.   We will get something in the mail for a future court date which will hopefully be in September or October.

Dom was feeling terrible still on the 31st and August 1st and didn't have any appetite.   They put him on an antibiotic called Eraxis, which is an antifungal medication for fighting infections caused by fungus.  By Sunday he was doing much better and when I visited him, he mentioned being able to wolf down his lunch.   His infectious specialist was cautiously optimistic that he could be released in 48 hours which was Tuesday.    There was some issue with dinner on Sunday and he was hungry so the staff wound up giving him a lot of snacks to tide him over.   Monday he was still feeling great.    

However, sometime during Monday night things turned for the worse again.    His body temps rose to 103, his heart rate was over 130, and he was extremely feverish and the staff said he even was confused momentarily about his whereabouts.   I didn't realize all this until this afternoon.   I did message Dom this morning but he didn't respond.   I tried calling during the early afternoon but didn't get an answer.  I called again after arriving at the train station.   He didn't answer but he called me moments later and gave me the details.

His nurse aide mentioned that they have him on two new stronger antibiotics - Vancomycin and Cefepime.   Reading all the side effects of these antibiotics have been scary to say the least.   But I'm hoping it does help.  Unfortunately Dom was not doing well during my visit earlier this evening and was still relatively out.   

Since he hasn't been eating again, his blood sugar fell to 80 something.   We tried to get him to eat dinner but he just wasn't hungry at all.    I do pray that he gets some relief by tomorrow and hopefully this infection gets knocked out.   I plan to work from home tomorrow so I should be around if needed.   Prayers needed.

Unhealthy Health Care

One of the things that worries me every so often is health.   It's something that isn't promised and can easily change for the worse.   I only look at Dom who I remember when we first dated back in 2014 had so much energy.    He used to walk so fast and over the last few years his energy has dipped and he now needs a cane to walk and was diagnosed with degenerative bone loss.

I think of my parents who both were taking blood pressure meds for many years.   My Dad had many health scares over the years including prostate cancer and diverticulitis.   My Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which affected her mental state and sadly an aggressive form of cancer took my Mom's life.

The cost of health care is a nightmare in the U.S. and is one part of the equation that you truly can't prepare for.   You can save all the money in the world but if your health goes south, it can easily wipe you out financially.

It's such a racket.  Health insurance is a necessary evil but it amazes me how much the hospital charges the insurance companies.    A bill of $10000 may be reduced to $2000 due to insurance reduction.   But the various charges the hospital charges are outrageous.   $3000 for a couple hours in a room, hundreds of dollars in nickel and diming items like bacterial soap and different meds given. And whatever they can't get from insurance, they try to get from us the consumers.

But if you don't have insurance it's even worse.   When I had my bout of kidney stones, I didn't have any insurance at the time because I was working part-time at Amazon while skilling up for a job upgrade and struggling to find a higher paying job.  I couldn't get on Dom's insurance because we weren't married at the time and while there is an option for domesticated partners, Dom was not out at work.

When I was at the ER I had to explain (while I was in pain mind you) that I did not have any insurance.  I remember being told I made "too much" at my minimum wage job to qualify for any assistance.   I was too rich but not poor enough in the government's eyes.

It took two to three months before I got billed which wound up being close to $5000 which was reduced from $8000 (I guess cause I didn't have insurance).   This was all for 6 hours at the ER.

I was blessed by that time with a new better paying job so I wound up putting myself on a payment plan paying around $400 a month until I paid off the big bill.    And that didn't count the separate nickel and diming bills I got from the specialists directly which were between $50 - $200.

In contrast it was illuminating hearing about a nomad couple's experience in Malaysia.  In their video they mentioned how the wife had to have major surgery.   Mind you she went to the hospital because she was experiencing pain and was trying to get a diagnosis.   To her surprise the doctor said she would need to have surgery right away.  Everything happened within the same day.

She was in the hospital for a few days and they were bracing themselves for the bill.   But to their surprise it wound up being some low amount (I believe it was several hundred dollars) and they wound up paying it out of pocket because they had a high deductible that wasn't met.

It seemed like the quality of healthcare was much better in Malaysia for a fraction of the cost.   They mentioned there are insurance companies that provide coverage for nomad travelers, which are folks that move from place to place without a permanent house.   The one they talked about is called Safety Wing, which specializes in providing insurance for those without a permanent home.

The couple featured in the video are nice folks who were able to early retire and apparently lived on cruise ships temporarily and now travel and live in various locations.   They were in the Middle East during the beginning of the war Orange caused and spoke about managing to get away from there.   There were many folks who couldn't get out because the airports were limiting flights because of the fighting.

But healthcare has been a sore spot in the United States for decades.  Former President Obama was the closest to try and fight it with the Affordable Care Act.   Unfortunately even that fell short as premiums were outrageously high at times and it seemed the government was penalizing folks if they didn't have insurance even if the cost to get it was so high.    I remember trying to look into it but giving up.

I really don't know what to do about healthcare.   I can't see Dom and I being nomads either.   First of all he has too many dolls that he would need to sell or give away.   Plus there is something to having a steady place that you can call home.   There's another Youtube nomad couple with a channel called Stepsof2Foreigners about two hot gay guys who fell in love with each other.   Their channel has been around since 2017 and follows their multi-year journey from first meeting each other in Brazil (I believe Adam was on vacation in Brazil and met Bernardo and they basically decided to make a go of it).  I watched their videos over the years and it was crazy the number of places they moved in and out of in that time.   They spent the majority of their time in the U.S., got married, and Bernardo finally getting his U.S. citizenship but both deciding to now relocate back to Brazil.   Given this current regime I can't say I blame them.   That's one good thing about not having a home, you have no real ties to stay in a particular place.   But I wonder what their healthcare situation is.   I don't remember if they discussed it particularly but I know they've had a few health issues they had to deal with.

Plus it was dizzying all the constant moving.   I will say that I love stability and the thought of having to move somewhere once every six months to a year (which they seemed to be doing for many years) is something that would stress me out.   As I said there is something positive knowing that you have a place you can go to that is yours and is a refuge from the crazy world we live in.

I guess I should count my blessings that I have some kind of insurance, as broken as the healthcare industry is.

Sisterly Ties

 My visit to Detroit was interesting and wound up having some drama.   I reached out privately to Trina to confirm that I could stay with her while in Detroit.   I had wanted to stay with her on Thanksgiving but she mentioned that Donovan's Mom was staying over and that I could share a bed with her.   I wasn't sure if she was joking or not but I wasn't comfortable with that so I booked a hotel instead.   

So Trina confirmed that I could stay there.   I wound up traveling on Christmas Day.   I was a few hours away when Tasha sent a group text (we have an ongoing sibling thread) asking me to stop by her old place and then we could go to the new home together where she had the presents for our gift exchange.   I replied to the affirmative but didn't think to mention that I was planning to stay with Trina.   This will come into play later.

So I get to Tasha's old place and when going to the door, she didn't answer.   I called a few minutes later and confirmed that she and Abe were at CVS running errands and that they'd be back soon and to go next door to Abe's Mom.   

Abe's Mom and I spent some time together.   She is hard of hearing so it was a struggle chatting with her but that was cool.   I helped her with learning how to use an ear dryer which she needs because she has a condition where her drainage passages are narrow and her ears tend to fill with water.   There is a possible procedure to reverse but with her being almost 90 years old, the doctor's do not want to take the risk.

Tasha and Abe returned twenty minutes later and bought some pizza for dinner.   Abe drove over to their new place and then later I drove Tasha to the new house.   On the way there, Tasha mentioned that I could park my garage in their two car garage (with an individual door for each) and stay overnight.  

When she mentioned staying overnight, I froze.   I had already planned to stay at Trina's but for some reason I didn't say anything.    Also Trina did not send any response when Tasha asked me to stop by the old place.   It looked like Tasha indirectly was thinking Trina and Donovan would also come to the place.    They implied as much to each other when Abe asked if they were coming and Tasha said she didn't think they would.

So Tasha and I toasted the evening on wine coolers and doritos and watched some classic comedies that happened to air their Christmas episodes including Sanford & Son, All In The Family (it was sad seeing Rob Reiner given he recently was shot to death by his own son), and the slightly more recent Hot in Cleveland.   Abe wound up staying at their old house while Tasha and I slept in mattresses in the living room.   She mentioned it was her first night at the new home.   I messaged Trina to let her know that I would stay at Tasha's place since it was first time alone in the new house.   Trina said it was cool but I wasn't sure if she was truly fine with it.

I wound up being a guinea pig for their second upstairs bathroom.   The shower and sink were fine but the toilet leaked out of the tank when flushed.   

Tasha had to work on Friday so she left me Abe's key and the garage opener so I can venture out.   I relaxed a bit and then took a quick shower before heading to a local Wendy's for lunch.   As I was wrapping up lunch, Dom called and was letting me know that he just got done seeing his Mom at the rehab place.    He himself was going to stop at McDonald's to get lunch before heading back home.   While on the phone, I received a message from Eugene.    He also left a text message.  

After I said goodbye to Dom, I checked Eugene's text and saw that he was hanging out at a Starbuck's 20 minutes from me.   I left Wendy's and called him back when I got in the car.   I drove over to the Starbuck's where he was to hang out.   It's our first time seeing each other since last December when I visited him in Fall River, MA.  

We talked about each other's family dramas.  On my end, the last several holidays we all typically gathered at Trina's home since Papa was living there.   It was almost a given that Trina's spot would be where to go.    On the flipside on Thanksgiving Tasha would want Trina and I to stop by for dinner with her and Abe's family.   His family is cool overall but his sister (his only one) is a piece of work.    The times Trina and I went, she would remind us that our parents did not attend Tasha's wedding (which they had at their old place on Thanksgiving).    That proved to be a sore spot that she always would bring up.   It got to the point that we both were tired of hearing about it.   It especially got annoying hearing it after Mama had passed.    So for a few years neither Trina and I would attend which proved to be a sore point for Tasha.

So I wonder if this year that may played into things.   I oddly felt like I was caught in the middle.   In the end Eugene said that it would be up to me to fix things.   I knew Trina had no intentions of going to the new house (she may have felt slighted by us not going there on Christmas) so when Tasha happened to call me, I suggested that the two of us should go over to Trina's.   I then called Trina afterwards to let her know that we would head over in a few more hours.

Eugene then replayed his drama that mostly centers around his Dad.   His Dad is a heavy drinker who apparently spends all his money on liquor and does not help in paying the rent at the apartment his parents reside.  Basically there was an incident where he drove his parents to his sister's home for Christmas dinner.   His sister visited Portugal and apparently picked up some kind of rum that their Dad took a liking to. 

Eugene mentioned that his Mom and himself were in the car and were waiting for his Dad.   It took another ten or fifteen minutes before he came and he emerged with the rum.    Eugene surmised that he must've convinced his sister to part with it.    But Eugene was having none of it.    He basically had a standoff with his Dad saying that he refused to drive them with an open bottle of liquor.    His concern was that if they get pulled over, he could get in trouble with law enforcement and did not want to take the risk.   His Dad argued back against this but Eugene prevailed.

Needless to say he has a strained relationship with his Dad.   He mentioned how his Dad was a heavy drinker all his life and lost his job due to being drunk on the job.    He was verbally abusive to his Mom.   A part of Eugene was mad that his Mom did not leave him many years back.    But now they're in their late 70s and early 80's so pretty much it makes no sense to do so.

We then made parallel comparisons between his Dad spending all his disposable income on liquor while Dom spends most of his disposable income (and well some of my income these days) on his doll hobby.   At least Dom's hobby isn't destructive health wise.

We spent the majority of our time also talking about getting older and health woes.   Eugene recently was diagnosed with sleep apnea and due to years of it being untreated, it affected his blood vessels in his brain.   He has to take a mild blood pressure medication.   Of course it got me thinking about my health and how I'm resigning myself to possibly having to take them myself.    He then mentioned a friend who has to take 300mg of some blood pressure meds.   That's so crazy.

So we parted ways after a few hours and then I got to Tasha's home just before Tasha was dropped off by Abe.   We then made our way to Trina's home where we had the gift exchange.   I had Donovan's name and got his some Lions gear since he loves the Lions.    He especially appreciated the cup holders since he always quick to throw a cup holder whenever we have drinks.

I bought pizza over and Tasha brought some Pepsi.   Overall we had a good evening and then we headed back.   I left on Saturday morning to head back home which I'm glad I did as temperatures plummeted on Sunday and it was rainy and windy.

I will definitely have to remember next year to make it clear where we would be meeting for the holidays and I'll have to use the group siblings chat to verify on where I am staying.   Also as an aside Tasha was asking me about my car on our way to Trina.   Little did I pickup that she was asking because she's interested in getting the car when I decide to update.   She told me as much in a private text after I got back home.   I've traded my older cars twice before for Papa ages back and Papa in turn gave his older cars to Tasha (she always seems to want a car though I'm guessing Abe's family members are in need as we never see the cars again).   I told her I'd let her know but if she wants the car, she'll definitely have to give me a fair value for losing the trade-in.   Fun times.

Type A Drama

 On December 15th Dom and I drove to Fort Wayne, IN to visit his Mom who was in the hospital recovering from a brain bleed.   Dom asked me to drive since the trip was close to three hours and he's not comfortable anymore driving longer than two hours.  I was in the office when he asked so I needed to quickly reach out to my manager to get approval.   Thankfully she said it was fine and I was able to use some of my sick time.

So when we got there, we ran into Dom's sister Marie's husband Mel in a hallway near the room where Dom's Mom was staying.   Immediately afterwards we ran into Marie.   The hospital staff was taking care of his Mom so we waited outside her room until they were done.

We also ran into Dom's niece Lexie who was in the room while the staff was helping his Mom.   Eventually we all were in the room and we were able to spend quality time with her.  She sounded a lot better than she did when Dom talked to her a few days before the visit.   At that time they were running lots of tests and she had a tube in her mouth and throat.

One of the things that drove Dom to wanting to see his Mom in person was Marie expressing wanting to take control over their Mom's care and finances.    Dom and his Mom were upset that Marie insisted on taking his Dad to a rehab facility closer to her without considering what his Dad wanted.   Dom also is worried that Marie will want to sell his Mom's house if something happens to her and then displace Lexie and Ava from the house.   

Marie was quick to mention that Mom made her "executor" of her estate and the final go-to for what happens next.   That definitely irritated Dom.   He even asked me beforehand if I wanted to be "executor".   But I declined as I do not want to be in the middle of that mess.   Marie is a piece of work and I really don't want to deal with that and have her stressing me out.    Plus it would potentially put a strain on Dom and my relationship which I do not want.

It is crazy how the love of money can cause division in a lot of families.   I do pray that they are able to get through this.   Dom is also hoping to convince his Mom to sell the home to her brother so that his nieces would be able to stay without being forced to move if Marie pursues trying to sell the home.  Originally his parents stated that when they both are gone that the home would be split between Dom and his two sisters.    Dom's sister Marina passed on but her nieces Ava and Lexie are still there.   It makes sense to leave the home to the nieces as neither Dom nor Marie have need of the home.   They could also put the home in a revocable living trust as well and explicitly spell out that the nieces would inherit the home.    Hopefully they'll be able to resolve things before his Mom isn't able to.

Everyone in Dom's family, including Dom, are Type A's.   So it can make for intense moments.

Dom's Mom is at a rehab facility that's closer to her home.   She was feeling depressed at the thought of not being home for Christmas but the facility is allowing her to go home for Christmas.    But like Cinderella, she has to return to the facility before Midnight.

Dom got to see his Mom on Christmas and plans to spend the 26th with her at the facility before he heads back home.    He expressed sadness that his Mom felt hopeless because she wasn't able to get herself up from the loveseat she was sitting at.    She lamented that if she can't get up from the loveseat, she may never come back home.    But the hope is that the physical therapy will help her in recovery.

Latest Lifefront

 One of the senior members of our Church made the suggestion in September to have a monthly birthday celebration for all the birthdays that are taking place for the month.    The folks who had the birthday would be responsible for bringing a cake.    When I heard this I silently balked since I knew my birthday month was coming next.   Another new member volunteered to bring cupcakes for October so at least that was covered.

I honestly don't like to be made the center of attention even for a brief minute.   The most I like doing for my birthday is taking time off for work (always felt I shouldn't work on my birthday with the only exception being when I worked at Amazon since I needed whatever crumbs I could get) and traveling somewhere.   I normally do like to venture out somewhere but this year I chose not to.   It's a good thing too since the air traffic controller shortages that have been happening under Orange's administration.   I did take off from the 15th - 17th.

I do want to go to the Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL for my birthday.   Since Dom isn't working and I know he has a love for Japanese culture, I thought it would be a good day trip for us.   Plus it would be nice for us to do something together.    The facility opens from 9am to 6pm daily and it would take us 2 hours to get there so we probably want to leave as early as possible.   Dom also wanted to see the new movie adaptation of Kiss Of the Spider Woman.   I had no clue that Jennifer Lopez was in it.    It should be interesting to see how it is.   Maybe we can do that Thursday or Friday.

So this past Sunday was when the October birthdays were being celebrated.    I was reminded last week from the same senior member that my presence was required.    As part of the Church board, our meeting was also being held at the Church as well.   So I opted to go after the service.   I'm so bad.

Of course since Dom and I are a package deal, I was asked about Dom's recent interview.   Unfortunately Dom is having to deal with ageism.    He mentioned that the interviewer was dry and disengaging the whole time.    I feel that the interviewer didn't like that Dom was walking in with a cane and immediately dismissed him from consideration.

It's so frustrating.   There's so many things we have to deal with when it comes to interviewing.   Unfortunately a lot of different biases come into play.   The interviewer made assumptions about Dom, not taking into account Dom's previous experiences.   It's sad that due to that person's preconceived biases they missed out on a great employee.

I feel like at this point Dom needs to reach out to his previous employer and get them to put him in as a substitute.    He tried applying for unemployment and as I expected, the previous employer declined it and claimed that Dom resigned which he didn't.    But I'm thinking Dom is getting a bit tired of dealing with the bull.   He's 61 now and if he waits till next June, he can hopefully collect on Social Security.

I just wish he would slow up on the hobby spending since he has no income coming in.   He did finally try to put some of his dolls on sale but he did it through his personal Facebook site.    He has not had any biters unfortunately so he needs to place his items on Ebay to hopefully get them sold.    

I hope I can hang on somehow to my job and not get sick.   On that front I'm in the process of trying to get a living trust done.    Dom always says that he wants to be the one to die first but life doesn't always go as you plan and I remind him that I could be the one that dies first.     If that happens I don't want Dom to lose the house because I didn't plan properly.    I've heard too many stories especially in the gay world where if the main breadwinner passes, the surviving partner is thrown to the wolves and loses the home, especially with family members taking over.    I'm fortunate in that I feel my sisters would not throw Dom out but I need to get things ready.   I also have other assets that need to be divided.   Fun times.

Baby, I'm Falling...

 Falling out of the bed apparently.   My Saturday morning started off unexpectedly.  I don't know if I was dreaming or having a nightmare but I felt myself spinning.   Next thing I knew I rolled off the bed, hitting my head on the nightstand and knocking one of Dom's dolls with me.   I nearly knocked over the CPAP machine as well.

It's not at all how I expected to start the day.   I had Dom panicking as well as he got up to turn on the lights and then reach out for me from the side of the bed to help me up.   I quickly got up and was holding the right side of my head with the palm of my hand.   I was feeling a dull ache from hitting my head.

Needless to say both Dom and I got out of bed.  The plans for today include going to Meijer's (maybe Walmart since eggs are slightly cheaper there) and then Walgreens to pick up Dom's prescriptions.

Afterwards Dom and I plan to head to the church to meet Don and Juan.    We'll then carpool over to Katherine and her wife Sherry's home for their second annual get-together at their place.    They are an elderly couple that's been together for almost 20 years.   Both of them sadly have their health issues (don't we all) but they're making it work.    

So the get together starts at noon.   Katherine was mentioning that folks should carpool since space would be limited.   I messaged Juan earlier in the week and asked him about Dom and I riding with Juan and Don to the event.   He was game.   Yesterday evening he messaged me asking me what time we wanted to meet at the Church.

In my mind I was thinking I didn't want to get there too early.   Dom on the other hand was fine with arriving right at noon...*LOL*.    So we compromised and I told Juan we could meet at 1:30 PM.   

I knew I made a mistake when Juan didn't respond back.   I was thinking I hope I didn't give him an aneurysm.   I went to the restroom and felt my phone buzzing.   I had no idea why it was buzzing since it didn't flash that a call was being made.    It ended up Juan was calling me on Facebook messenger.   It's a good thing I didn't answer as I was having my nature call.

I saw Juan messaged me saying I needed to call back since the get together was starting at noon.  I was thinking great I guess they wanted to be there at noon as well.    But we compromised and agreed to meet at the Church at 12:30 PM instead of 11:30.

So as soon as I'm done with this post, I need to do some baking.  I have a zucchini that I will use to make a zucchini bread.    I made one last weekend that was so good.    The get together is a potluck so that'll be my contribution.

In dedication to my fall, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Mya songs...Fallen.

And as a bonus, let's add some Alicia Keys to the mix.   

Let's hope that falling is not my new norm anytime soon.

Wisdom Recovery

I don't have much of an update today.

I made it through the oral surgery and I officially have my remaining wisdom teeth removed.   Dom took me on the 5th and thankfully everything went well without a hitch.    One of the positives is that I no longer have the bad taste in my mouth with the cavities.   I took off this week from work to recover from the procedure and am currently on my last day.

I thankfully haven't had a lot of pain.  I'm just trying to take it easy and I've been watching many Youtube videos on how to survive wisdom tooth extraction surgery and have been trying to follow the rules as far as steps to a quick recovery.

So that means I've been eating lots of soft foods like soup, applesauce, cottage cheese, and ice cream.   I just introduced some slightly more solid foods like peanut butter and jelly to my diet.    My plan is to ease my way back into solid foods by next week.

The time off gave me some time to write to Mitch as well.   I received a letter in the mail from him yesterday expressing concern since I hadn't written him since last August.   I didn't realize it was that much time but I do remember that he called me on my birthday.    Then my intentions were that I would write him but then life was life-ing.   So time went by.   

I'm glad that I was able to write him.   I just need to mail off the letter which I plan to do sometime this weekend.

I also had a chance to play with my stocks, hoping to get rich.   That didn't happen but I did sell one of my stocks for a 30% gain and put a portion of that towards more Blackberry stock.   LOL I swear I hope that one pays off someday.   They did recently announce that they are looking to buyback shares which will hopefully help the price go up some.

I also will work from home on Monday as well before easing my way back to my schedule which involves me walking to and from the train station.   I want to make sure my body is ready for me to resume physical activity again.

So much fun.   At least I should be ready for my concert in two more weeks.   

Sashay Chante!

 

Chante Moore - As If We Never Met

VERSE 1:
The world going by my window
Doesn't mean nothing to me
Why do I feel the way I do
Why am I still so lost in you, I wonder

VERSE 2:
Watching you sleep each morning
Brushing the hair from your eyes
Why do we give ourselves away
Till only emptiness remains

REFRAIN:
Was there a reason you came and changed my life
Cause it won't change back
I'm trying to forget
But I can't act as if we never met

VERSE 3:
The world going by my window
Doesn't mean nothing to me
Why do I feel the way I do
Darling, I'm still so lost in you

REPEAT REFRAIN

I was listening to an early Chante Moore single titled As If We Never Met while trying to minimize work distractions.   Chante's voice was so pure and earnest as she processes losing a love and wanting to forget him and the pain his leaving her has caused but realizing he made an impact of her life and isn't someone she can just forget.  The song stirred emotions in me as I listened repeatedly to it.   It made me think of past loves that still stay on the mind long after they're gone.   It's such a beautiful song by a beautiful lady who has been sharing her talent since 1992.    It's not the first time I've mentioned Chante in my blogs.   I did a review of her 2008 album Love This Woman and expressed my continued love of Chante in a brief snippet.

I still remember walking over to a local record store not far from the college I attended classes in and buying her CD.   It took me awhile to figure out who Chante was when they played her songs on the radio.   I always seemed to miss the mention of her name.  This was before the internet took off so it wasn't like I could just do a Google search.   I still remember my excitement when I finally heard her name.  I couldn't get to a record store fast enough.

I'm excited about the upcoming concert on May 23rd at Rialto Square Theatre to see Miss Chante perform.   It'll be my first time seeing her perform in concert since Tasha and I went to a Luther Vandross concert in the mid-90's at Fisher Theatre in Detroit when Chante was his opening act.  I went for Chante, Tasha went for Luther.   This time of course, Chante is the headliner.   I've been listening to Chante's songs in preparation for the show.

I'm trying to decide whether Dom and I should stay overnight in Illinois.    We had talked about going the next morning to the Japanese market Mitsuwa in another part of town.   Dom changed his mind though wanting us to get home.   However we were also talking about going to Ikea which we haven't been to in almost a decade.   I've been wanting to go there to get a dresser and small computer desk for the spare bedroom/future home office.

But first I have to get through my oral surgery to remove my remaining wisdom teeth coming up on Cinco De Mayo.   I sent the remaining payment for the procedure two weeks back.   I'm still annoyed about paying for that upfront but am hopeful I'll get reimbursed from the insurance company within a couple weeks.   I took a week off from work to recover from the procedure.   I'm hoping everything goes well and I'll be recovered by the time the concert date arrives.   I've been drinking pineapple juice which is supposed to help with pain.   Dom will be my designated driver to the procedure.  I need to give him the address to the location.   Maybe we can do a practice run this weekend (if I can get him out of the house).    He tends to hibernate a lot these days.

Darn Mucilage

 In my quest for being healthy I'm always looking around for the latest news on items that will be beneficial for me.   My blood pressure has been the bane of my existence.   One of my first blog entries was a boring but important entry tracking my blood pressure readings.   High blood pressure has been something that's plagued me since as far back as 2005 and I'm sure much earlier.   

I remember going to the ER because of it a couple of times.   I remember feeling faint like I was going to pass out.   But somehow over the years I've dodged being prescribed blood pressure medication.    Both of my parents had been taking blood pressure medication for more than half of their lives.

I've tried so many different things for it with marginal results.  Apple cider vinegar, grape seed extract, l-citrulline, ubiquinol, miracle greens, magnesium, cucumbers, watermelons, hibiscus, green tea, garlic, and onion among other things.   But there hasn't been that magic elixir.

So I was checking out Dr. Bobby Price's latest video where he was singing the praises of okra water.   I do like okras so I was definitely intrigued by what was being said.   The heart of okra water is the mucilage which is a mucus like substance that the okra secretes.   That mucilage is said to have many health benefits.    These include improved digestion, reduced blood sugar, reducing inflammation, boosting energy, immunity, promoting weight loss, and flushing kidneys.

Hearing about all those benefits made me curious to try it.  I decided to check other videos which touted a lot of the same information.   So I decided to buy some okra this past weekend.

The benefits of blood sugar is particularly something that could benefit Dom since he has type 2 diabetes.  Dom is old school though and isn't one that looks for alternatives.   So I knew he would not be open to trying it.    Whenever I try something unorthodox, he always says "why do you hate your body so much"...LOL.

So I prepared the okra water as instructed the evening before.  By early morning the water became an icky mucus like substance similar to the videos.   I slowly drank the water and I will say I felt full after drinking it.   I'm not sure I felt any more energetic than normal.  I actually felt a little more constipated so not sure it really helped me with digestion.   I noticed my poop became light green as well (almost the color of okra itself).

I drank it for two more days and then as I was doing more research, I found a side effect of drinking okra water that stopped me in my tracks.    One of the side effects is that it could cause kidney stones.  This is because the mucilage is high in oxalates.   Folks that have had kidney stones (like me) are highly at risk for developing them.

I guess everything has it pros and cons.   But I don't want to do anything that could cause kidney stones.   Those are no fun to deal with.   Consequently yesterday evening I was feeling the urge to pee a lot with hardly anything coming out.   That of course got me freaked out that I may have blockage already.    I guess I need to drink some more barley water...LOL.

So it's back to the drawing board.   The one positive is that my going to the office 3 days a week gets me a little more exercise.   My numbers still aren't where I want them to be though.   The quest continues.

Feeling Taxed

 Tax time has creeped in again.  With the way the Orange administration has been wrecking havoc on the Federal government, it's a wonder we still have a tax system.    Dom decided to do his taxes in early February in case Orange did something to mess up refunds.    He also already had that money spent on his favorite hobby.   I managed to finish my taxes in early March.   My refunds are not nearly as high as they used to be when I lived in Illinois.   Then again my property taxes are not as high as they were when I lived in Illinois.   Unfortunately though property taxes in Indiana have been steadily creeping up since I moved here.  I need to think about opening a separate saving account to deposit enough money to pay the property taxes once I finish paying off the mortgage.

So far I'm still on track to have the mortgage paid off by June or July of 2026.   I'm definitely excited about that one.   I'm peeved because the oral surgeon that I'm having my wisdom teeth removed requires me to pay the entire balance of the surgery which will run me $2100.   Apparently I will get it back from the insurance in two weeks (they claim).   It's such a racket that the surgeon gets their money and I'm the one that has to deal with the insurance.  Luckily I am also getting a bonus from work this week that should cover the $2100 I have to pay up front.  I just need to notify my credit card of the upcoming charge so they don't put a freeze on my card.

My original plan was to use the bonus as an extra payment for the mortgage but I'll need to wait till I get the money back from the insurance company to put it towards the mortgage.   I should have some more of the bonus available, it may come out to around $4000 (apparently the company had a great year).   So I can still put the remaining amount towards it.

My surgery is scheduled for Cinco De Mayo.   As I mentioned the oral surgeon is a lady and her staff are all women as well.   There's nothing wrong with that of course.    But they couldn't hire a guy or two...LOL.

I'm nervous about the procedure but I know it needs to be done.  I probably should've taken the other two out when I did the first two.   I just never got around to it.   Of course the oral surgeon was already trying to sell other products to me.   I was thinking I'll be damned if I get anything else since I have to pay for that upfront too.   I'm annoyed that my dentist chose this oral surgeon but she seems to know her stuff so I'll have to put faith that it'll all work out.

I pray that everything goes well with the surgery.   Dom will be taking the day off school to take me to the surgery.   I'll be knocked out during the procedure (I don't remember if I was knocked out when I had my first wisdom teeth removed).   But I already put in my time off for work and decided just to be safe to take the whole week.   They mention limiting your physical activity that first week.

In other news a member of my current Church family received some bad news today healthwise.   He was on a journey to ditching his CPAP machine for good and was in the final stretch of confirming that he could use Inspire as a mask-free solution.   He had to lose more than 20 pounds to be eligible and along the way had to deal with health issues.   He lost the weight and was in the doctor's office taking a test to see if he would be able to tolerate the device.    While they did a CT scan on his throat, they found a 6mm mass on one of his lungs.   He will have another CT scan on Thursday on his lungs.  I feel so bad for him and pray that he doesn't get dire news.

Mitch has also been on my mind lately.   He's reached a new milestone.   He officially has less than 3 years left in his prison term.   I've been meaning to write to him but have been so busy with life.  I'm hoping that he's hanging in there.   He's made a few strides in preparation for life outside of prison.   By the time he gets out, he'll be 65 years old.    He was able to find a new home that his children will be living in while he does his remaining time.   He pretty much will be at retirement age but he may look to do some part-time work.

Whenever I complain about my lot in life, I always find myself reminding myself that at least I do have freedom.   I pray that Orange and his cronies don't take that away from us.   It truly is a scary world out there.  I shudder to think where this country will be not just in four years but even another month from now.

The Third

 Dom completed part one of his carpal tunnel surgery last Wednesday on his left hand.   The hospital needed to reach out to him prior to confirm on his medications and previous health conditions.    Since he works at school (when he goes), he's not able to answer his phone.   So I had to make time to take the calls in the midst of my work fun.

I felt horrible because I wasn't able to remember every detail of the different surgeries he had and why.  I mistakenly said he had a gall bladder removed when it was actually his appendix.   He also had the turp for his enlarged prostate which led to him post-surgery having blood clots that affected his breathing.   I needed to remember all this and felt frustrated when it didn't come to me right away.   I had remembered the clotting but forgot that happened because of the enlarged prostate surgery.

One of the things I loved about my Mom was her uncanny ability to remember every medication and surgery that my Dad had over the years.   She did this even through dealing with her own health issues with Parkinson's.   I was not measuring up at all.   I love Dom because he was so forgiving of me.

Dom and I started discussing the possibility of having a "younger guy" be part of our family in anticipation of myself eventually having more health issues.   Dom worries he wouldn't be able to take care of me like I have for him.  Of course it would have to be the right person who is there for the correct reasons.   I worry about someone trying to take advantage of the situation.   It would be nice if they exclusively were with us.  If sex is on the table I wonder if Dom would watch us or even participate.    As I've mentioned before, Dom and I haven't had sex in almost eight years.

Where would we find this person?   Are there websites that cater to this kind of arrangement?   I already have a regular thing with Anthony.   But Anthony is around Dom's age and he has his own health issues here and there so he wouldn't be ideal.  Midas falls in the same scenario as Anthony.   He's two years younger than Dom.

Doug would be ideal.  He's a year or two younger than me.  But unfortunately he's shown that he is not dependable at all.    It's going on four years since we last met up.   The times I've tried to meet up with him he claims to be so busy.    Dom and I had some rearranging we wanted to do in the house.  I tried to see if Doug could come over and help with that and by proxy introduce him to Dom.   But he did not commit to a time to do this so my trust in him is broken.    Another strike is that he has a dog and we're not dog people.   

Maxwell, the younger black guy that I met a couple years ago would be a potential.   But he moved to Indianapolis for a job.   So he's out.   But I haven't chatted with him in awhile.   I should message him to see how he's doing.

But is it fair to get a third just for the potential of having someone to be a caretaker?   Is it fair on that person?   Dom and I do not have family nearby as well so we're a bit isolated.    It's a sad situation to think about.   Plus if we get a third person and they live with us, our house needs to be decluttered in a big way so the third would have room for his stuff.  I have some things to get rid of but Dom has the majority of the crap in the house.   The sad thing is the house is pretty spacious with 4 bedrooms and 1 1/2 baths with a semi-finished basement.   But every inch of the house has junk in it.    How is that possible?

I just realized the irony of us talking about a potential third when I mentioned recently about a situation where I was considering being a potential third to another couple.  It does seem to be a more common discussion among gay couples these days.

Losing My Wisdom

 With each passing day I, like everyone else, is getting older.   More often than not I find myself running to another room and then forgetting what I was going into that room for.   It scares me because the thought of not remembering who or where I am is something that I do not want to experience.   My parents have experienced it and I've seen older folks in our Church experiencing short-term memory loss.   Dom too has his share of senior moments.

But I'll soon be losing another part of my wisdom.   I will be pulling out my remaining two wisdom teeth on the right side of my mouth, teeth 1 and 32 for dental folks.   16 and 17 were pulled sometime in the early 2000's.   I found out during my recent 6-month cleaning that my cavity on my wisdom tooth has gotten larger.  I pretty much accepted at that point it was time to get them removed.   The top wisdom tooth is fine but it wouldn't make sense to keep it since it would have nothing to chew against.   

I already removed tooth 3 back in 2020 (just a month or so before the pandemic).   The dentist was suggesting a bridge gets placed in the open spots between 1 and 3.   It seems like a not so bad idea but Dom was thinking I really wouldn't need it and I would be able to chew just fine.   I'm on the fence about it.

The dental place I go to is ran by a husband/wife team.   I saw the wife this time.   She is nice.   She gave me the name of an oral surgeon that I would have to call to schedule an appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled.    She hesitated giving me the name wondering if I would have an issue seeing a woman surgeon.   I told her that I wouldn't have a problem with that.

She then went into a rant about how she had prospective patients that left the dental office when they saw that she was the dentist.   She has a first name that could either be male or female.   So they may have thought she was a he.   This was mostly during the 90's she said (when she was starting her career).   I was going to raise her up one and say there are folks that wouldn't want a black doctor or dentist treating them.

Things are definitely better today though Orange and his cronies seem to be wanting to take away what was gained.   You know, make America great again by taking away protection and rights from minorities.

I need to figure out best time to remove my teeth.  Dom has two outpatient surgeries scheduled this month for his carpal tunnel which is affecting both of his hands.  I probably do not want to do it around that time since he'll need me at 100% during his recovery.    I would need at least one week of recovery after the procedure.

I'm hoping I may be able to push it off till early June when Dom is out of school.   But I have to be careful not to develop any kind of infection before then.   I may need to go into the office 4-5 days a week for a month so I have enough days to cover not being in the office.  Insane. 

Commissioned Out

 Dom has been missing a lot of work these days.    He's already been counting the days till his retirement.  As a high school math teacher, he's been complaining on the daily about misbehaving students who do not understand even the basic math equations.   He's been dealing with a lot of health issues as well which has caused him to missed days.   For the third or fourth school year in a row, he has maxed out on his allotted sick day time off so each time he misses a day now, he doesn't get paid for that day.   He's also started ordering more doll crap based on various shows like Wednesday (every company that makes a likeness of the Wednesday Adam doll, he has to order) and of course Wicked.   He's been pissing me off there because he's had me stay home on certain days because he doesn't want his packages staying out in the cold too long.   Of course I have to juggle my home days with my return to office mandate that dictates I have to be in the office 3 days a week.   It's so stupid since I can do my job at home but I need the paycheck especially since I'm responsible for the majority of the household bills and for both of our health insurance costs.   So I gotta play the game till they decide to lay me off or a better opportunity comes along.

So I'm home today for work because of more packages (I went to the office Monday & Wednesday so far and will go in tomorrow to make my 3 days).   However he wound up staying home too because he's been experiencing pain in his left shoulder and his hands continue to ache from carpal tunnel.   I would've went in to the office today but I woke up a little later and didn't feel like rushing to get out of the house.  I had already set up my makeshift office as well.

I hate that he's back to spending money unnecessarily (in my opinion),especially since he's not working full-time.   He keeps talking about slowing his spending and decluttering his collection.   I continue to feel frustrated seeing how cluttered our whole house is.    Every room is full of junk.   I just imagine if he didn't spend the little money he has on this stuff, we could've had the mortgage paid off by now.   Even if he gave $200 a month to put into the mortgage, that would quickly add up over time.   But I'm managing to pay the necessary bills each month and continue to pay off my credit card bills.   I was glad to keep my total credit card payments to just under $2000 this pay period.   $3000 is the goal I usually have (this includes gas, insurance, food, transportation toll fees, and other miscellaneous items) so I exceeded my goal.   Last pay period I was slightly over $3000 so that varies.  

Speaking of credit cards, he still doesn't know yet that I canceled his one card.   I will probably add him back again.   I was just extremely frustrated at that time how he used the card for a non-emergency expense and didn't bother to tell me.  

Dom was told he would need to have carpal tunnel surgery on both his hands to alleviate the pain he's experiencing.   He was hoping to push that off till June but he's thinking he may need it sooner.   He's been wearing hand braces at night to try and help ease the pain.    But it doesn't always help and he also is noticing weakness in his shoulder muscles. 

He also mentioned Tuesday that he had a kidney stone that caused him to not be able to pee initially.  He was going to head to the E.R. but luckily he was able to push the stone out.   I too may have had a small stone a few weeks back as I was experiencing weak urine flow.   But that has since passed.  The joy of being older, right?   We're continuing to push through this thing called life.   I just needed to vent again.

In A Detox Mood

 With the new year creeping in, I've been thinking that I'm overdue for doing a detox.   There was a time in the mid-2000's where I had done several of them over a few years.   I did a popular one called the Master Cleanse at least ten times.   The last time I did a Master Cleanse was in 2009 I believe.   I've done a couple 3-day juice cleanses in recent years that haven't been as intense as the Master Cleanse.

I'm thinking of doing a detox cleanse by Dr. Bobby Price.   I first heard about Dr. Price on Youtube when watching an interview that he part of by an investment guru Anthony O'neal who had him as a guest.

Dr. Bobby came across as very insightful about how unhealthy a lot of foods are.   He advocates eating a plant based diet.   Even the so-called vegan processed foods are not healthy either.    He shared his story on how he was diagnosed with high blood pressure and how plant based foods reversed it.   He also has his own Youtube channel where he discusses a lot of topics in relation to improving health.

On his website, he has a link to a 14-day herbal detox that I'm curious to try.   The detox consists of drinking two different 32-oz bottles of tea.   The first tea is called Tummy TeaTox and it consists of various herbs like dandelion, rhubarb, senna (which was the main ingredient in a tea I drank when I was doing Master Cleanse), and slippery elm.   The second tea is called Parasite Candida Cleanse and it contains herbs like neem, burdock, black walnut hull, and oregano.

From what I understand you basically steep the tea overnight and then you alternate drinking 2 oz. of one tea and then the other every 20 minutes.   While detoxing it doesn't look like they mention any dietary restrictions so it seems you can eat regular meals as well.

I'm still trying to research others who've gone through the cleanse.   I have read that it does help clear up a lot of accumulated waste in the system.   Some have said they haven't felt as hungry while on the detox and that it helped eliminate bad eating habits.

I may wind up doing a juice cleanse once more before trying the herbal detox.   The rub is since I have to commute to the office more, I would have to take my juices or tea with me to the office.   It also means that I would be going to the bathroom more frequently which is not good in my current role.   So that'll be something I'll need to navigate.   I've had to do the same years back with the Master Cleanse.  I will definitely blog about it depending on what I decide.

In other news my Dad's birthday is tomorrow.   He would've been 95 years old.   An interesting fact is that my Dad told Trina a year or so before he passed that his birthday was actually on January 4th but they mistakenly put the 5th on his birth certificate.   I'm trying to remember if he said that before.  But regardless of whether it's on the 4th or the 5th, he is still missed.   Happy heavenly birthday Papa!

Finger Follies

I wound up taking myself to the ER Tuesday evening after seeing that my middle finger was continuing to swell.   How did I get to this point, you ask?

It started with Dom wanting to get chicken tenders from a local chicken shack called Shark's.   This was a Sunday afternoon on November 10th.   I wasn't feeling it but I went ahead and picked up an order of it for him after getting a few groceries from the place next door.

It was a bit windy that day and when I opened the screen door to Sharks, it started pulling away.  Not wanting the door to swing open after I got in, I grabbed the handle with my left hand.  I didn't realize how close to the frame the handle was.   As I pushed the door closed, I felt the door slam against my middle finger.   I winced as I quickly pulled it out.  

My finger was hurting for the rest of the day but I didn't notice anything else amiss.  As the week went on, my lower part of the middle finger stopped hurting and the upper felt less but still lingered.   By Friday I started noticing my finger beginning to swell.   There was a small area of discoloration forming to the left of my finger.

I tried to ice it a few times a day but it didn't seem to help much.  I called myself trying to compress it with a band-aid the evening of Monday the 18th.   But after a few hours I took it off because the pain in my upper finger was getting worse.

I contemplated staying home from work the day I finally went to the E.R.  Dom solidified it by saying he wanted me to stay home because he had a doll package coming.  I honestly was not really relishing going to the office so decided to heed his suggestion.   By the end of the day I decided that I needed to get my finger checked out to make sure it was okay.

It was a good thing I went.  It ended up the discoloration around my finger was a bacterial infection.  The nurse told me that she would have to poke my finger with a needle and squeeze it to get the pus out.   That was disgusting to see the grayish white pus ooze out.   It was painful too as she squeezed my finger.

Afterwards she cleaned the wound and applied a splint to my finger.   She mentioned that there was a tiny fracture in the finger and would need time to heal.   She did not give me a definite answer when I would be able to remove it.   I would also need to take an antibiotic to kill the bacterial infection.

I'm glad I went to the ER.   I was also relieved that there was noone in the ER the time I went so they were able to see me right away.

I will say it has sucked having this splint.  It has made routine things like typing, washing dishes, showering, and even putting clothes on a challenge.   I am grateful that the injury was not in my dominant hand.  But it hasn't made it any easier.

I had a follow-up with my primary physician and he told me that I would be able to take it off the splint after two weeks.   That was a relief to hear.   So I'll get to have my splint with me while visiting my sisters for the holidays.   It'll make for a great conversation piece with the family no doubt.

Running On Fumes

 I made it back from Dreamforce safely in one piece.   It was a surreal experience being there and seeing the sea of folks in attendance.   I worked three different shifts during my time there.   They were long but I pushed through each of them.   For the most part they were fun, even though there was one shift if I had to do it over again I would not choose.   My fellow volunteers in that shift were extremely rude and made me feel unwelcome.   The only thing that got me through it were a couple of nice guys from other booths nearby that took pity on me and came to talk to me and made me more comfortable.   To top it off one of those volunteers wanted me to snap a group picture of them.   After I took the photo, a customer expressed how it was terrible that I made to be left out of the photo.   At first I was trying to diffuse him but the customer was right.   He saw what they did was wrong and wanted to speak up on it.   The final kicker was that two of the folks came up and proceeded to stand by me and talk to each other without even acknowledging I was there.   Luckily it was quitting time and I just rolled my eyes and walked away.  I was glad that nightmare was over.

My hotel was about an hour away from the Moscone Convention Center where Dreamforce was being held.   Day 1 I took the shuttle to the airport and then the BART from the airport to a stop near the convention.   Day 2 I actually had a good Samaritan take me there via his Uber free of charge.   Day 3 I got my own Lyft to go to the event.

It took me some time to figure out where my manager and my other teammates were at different points of the conference.   At the end of each conference day we commuted back to our local office.   On the first night there was an afterparty event not far from the convention center.   My co-workers and I danced the evening away.  I hadn't danced like that in years and I felt every bit of body ache the next two days.

The second night there was a concert at the Oracle Park stadium headlined by the artist Pink.   The crowd was insane though so it was hard to really enjoy it but it was nice to see her perform.   We left a little early to try and beat the crowd though a lot of folks opted to do the same.

The third night my manager's boss hosted a dinner at his family's home outside of Oakland, CA.   It was a nice estate that of course I had to look up on Zillow.    It's current net worth was around $3.7 million dollars.   Someone's living large.

Needless to say with all the late nights, I literally was getting about 3 hours of sleep.   By the third day I felt myself getting a cold.   By the time I got home Friday I had a sore throat and spent the weekend trying to recover from it.

In health news I was happy to see that my PSA and A1C numbers were pretty good.   I also visited the dentist in recent weeks and unfortunately they found a huge cavity in my lower right molar which required a crown.   It took a few visits but I had the crown placed earlier this week.   Unfortunately I have extreme sensitivity in that area when drinking something cold.   But I'm hoping it'll get better.  I have to go back to the dentist again mid-October to repair some old fillings in my lower right jaw that have worn out.   It's my first time since 2020 that I've been to the dentist so I was overdue.

Dom and I have plans to go to Reston, VA for a doll convention he wanted to go to late October.   Eugene also wanted me to visit him in October to watch the new Joker movie that's coming out.   I'll have to see if I'm able to or not.

May The Fourth Be With You

 Dom reminded me that today is Star Wars Day.   There's an infamous line in the very first Star Wars movie Episode 4 - A New Hope where Obi-Wan Kenobi say to Luke Skywalker "May The Force Be With You".   Since then every time May 4th rolls along, the running joke is "May The Fourth Be With You".

We had a full morning and early afternoon at least.   Dom had a tele-appointment with his primary early in the morning.   Apparently even for phone appointments, they charge a fee.   Crazy.  

Dom's been feeling lightheaded and dizzy a lot these days.  The last time he felt that way and went to the ER, they said that the cause was due to his sinuses filling up.   He didn't believe it since he wasn't feeling stuffy.   He did try some Flonase and it may have helped his symptoms but it wasn't certain.   He wound up missing three days of work this week due to it.    When mentioning the symptoms again to the primary, they again alluded to the sinuses.   

So after his appointment Dom wanted to go to Walgreens to pick up some prescriptions and Flonase.   He also wanted to go to Costco and we both wanted to go early vote at a designated station.  Afterwards the plan was to dine at a new diner that opened not far from where we lived.

We slowly got ready and wound up leaving the house just after 11am.   We first went to Walgreens.   He picked up his prescriptions and a couple other random items but forgot about the Flonase.

We next went to the early voting area.  One thing about Dom is that he always manages to attract attention everywhere he goes.   He's currently wearing his beard long just like Santa Claus.   Even before doing this I remember when my sister Trina first met Dom she told me privately that he looked like Santa Claus...LOL.   But he definitely looks like it now.

So we both went into the voting location and I let him go ahead of me.   The staff gravitated towards Dom and of course was telling him of his resemblance to old St. Nick.   They kept talking to Dom and of course Dom being the chatty Kathy chatted back.   Meanwhile another staff member eventually came up to me.    We both had to sign our names and give our addresses.   Then we both were directed to vote.

I finished before Dom and the staff were all don't forget to take a sticker and thanks for voting, have a good day.   No chatting with me...which suited me fine.  LOL.  Dom was still voting so I left and waited in the hallway for Dom.   As I was leaving I heard the staff get all chatty again with Dom.   I kept going and waited for Dom.

Dom came out a minute later.   As we walked to the car, he told me that one of the staff noted that we had the same address.   Dom proudly said that I was his spouse.   He said that their faces changed once he said that.   But he did not care.    He told me that he was proud of me and loves me.    That was so sweet.

One thing I'll say about Dom.   He drives me crazy when it comes to his spending habits and other crazy things that he does.  I know too that I do things that he doesn't like either.   But one thing that I never have to doubt about Dom is his love for me.   Despite it all I know he loves and cares for me and he shows it with his actions.   I love Dom as well.

I do feel sad that Dom's slowed down a bit since we've been together.   He needs a cane now to walk and was told he has a degenerative spine disorder.   That along with full neuropathy in his feet and slowly in his hands has slowed him down a bit.   I do worry about our trip next month since part of it is needing to take a shuttle from the economy parking.   He tires so easily.   

After our trip to Costco and then another trip back to Walgreens for the Flonase and then home, his energy was gone and he didn't have the energy to try the restaurant.    So I had to walk there myself and order some lunch to go.

We did have a good lunch and I admit I felt sleepy shortly afterwards.   Getting old sucks...but it's sweeter knowing that I have Dom in my corner.    We just have to navigate through what life throws at us.

Still Got Legs

 Vanessa Williams - Legs (Keep Dancing)

VERSE 1:

I'm still here, still standing, still kicking
In fact I'm the best I've ever been (Uh)
Who sets a limit when we all fall apart?
I'm about to give 'em hell again
So say what you say
Expect me to fade
I don't think about it
I don't think about it
Got work left to do
And I'm not close to through
Not while I still got these legs

CHORUS:

They say the legs are the last to go
I'ma keep dancing
I'm still putting on the show
I'ma keep dancing
Till I can't do it no more
I go where they take me
'Cause the legs are the last thing, so
I'ma keep dancing

VERSE 2:

My time is managed doing much better things
Than trying to prove myself to you
So time was standing
If I gotta sing, you're gonna find me dancing too
So I made up my mind
When the world is unkind
I don't think about it
I just don't think about it
So here's what I do
I step in these shoes

REPEAT REFRAIN

BRIDGE

They might take me to Paris, it's alright
If it's Atlanta, San Francisco same night
If it's New York down to LA
I found there's only one thing left to say
Watch these legs

REPEAT REFRAIN

I was just randomly perusing through Youtube and found out that my girl Vanessa L Williams released a new single in anticipation of her new musical called Devil Wears Prada based on the successful novel and movie by the same name.   She mentioned paying homage to the legendary actress Diahann Carroll.  Carroll was the inspiration behind the song title, having penned a biography titled "The Legs Are The Last To Go: Aging, Acting, Marrying, And Other Things I Learned The Hard Way".

I have to say it's so nice to see that Vanessa is still doing her thing in her 60's.   She's come a long way from her Ms. America days.    She got the last laugh in the end and from this video is showing that she's still here and a force to reckon with.

It's definitely my newest ear-gasm and is serving as inspiration to all of us as we get older.  I will say I have to pat myself in the back as well.   Here I am about to turn 52 and I recently got a promotion and today I officially got some new responsibilities in my role.   Not bad for a guy my age.   I'm still kicking.   

My legs are actually my nicest assets.  Even Mama used to compliment me on my calves back in the day.   My legs seem to ache a bit more these days.  It could be because of all the walking I've been doing with my office commute.   But I still have time left...God willing.   Like Vanessa sings, I'ma keep dancing.

A Coughing Matter

 Another new year has officially made its way.   It's a reminder of how fast time is flying.   As far as major accomplishments go, I would say my biggest one was paying off my oldest credit card debt.   I am at the point thankfully that I'm able to pay off my credit card balance every month w/o carrying over debt that would quickly snowball into interest.   Workwise I obtained 3 new certifications and received recognition for my work from management.   I'm in the process of renewing my Comptia Sec+ certification that is set to expire 01/11/24.    Thankfully they give an option (for $200) to take a training module and successfully pass five assessments to renew it.   The alternative is to retake the exam for $329.   I am not utilizing my Sec+ knowledge since I'm not in a cybersecurity role but nonetheless I do feel like it's a good one to have on my skillsets.  I so far completed four modules and passed 100% after several dozen attempts (each assessment)...LOL.   I anticipate finishing the last module by this weekend, well before my current cert is set to expire.

Dom and I made it through another year of living together for better or worse.   We're currently experiencing the worse part of it.    As a school teacher he is unfortunately susceptible to catching "bugs" that his students and/or fellow teachers have.    One of his teachers was out of the office and in the hospital for the RSV that seems to be the latest virus plaguing the U.S.   He started feeling stuffy and coughing violently the week before their holiday.   He forced himself to go to work (because he was no more time off) which I think helped me initially not succumb to it.    In fact I left for Detroit while he was at work on his last day.

So I was fine while in Detroit.  I staved off a potential sore throat that was coming my way prior to going.   I came back home on the 26th and the next day I started getting sore throat symptoms again.   I tried gargling with salt water like I did the week prior but it didn't go away.    I woke up on the 28th with a severe sore throat.   I continued to gargle to no avail and drank hot tea with honey and lemon.  Dom in the meantime was still hacking and feeling stuffy.   I didn't feel any cold symptoms.   That changed the morning of the 30th.

I was disappointed because I was planning to hang with Eugene and his friend on NYE but knew I would not be in any condition if I was coughing and sneezing.   Things got worse on NYE and I knew that I would not be making it there, my third year in the row not attending.   2021 I had "stone drama" and in 2022 I was in Detroit.   I am glad we did get together over the summer for a day this year at least.   I was feeling feverish as well and barely ate.    Dom made some tasty beef barley soup that I did manage to eat a bowl and half of it.   I popped some Tylenol and before 9 I decided to head upstairs and spend the rest of the night in bed.   I opted to watch a Netflix movie called "The Noel Diary"   It honestly wasn't that great though I was pleasantly surprised to see cameos by Dexter's Dad actor James Remar and none other than Half & Half actress Essence Atkins who is my age.   The lead actor in the role was pleasing to the eye but the lead actress worked my nerves.    The ending was so stupid too.   But it did help me pass the time.   I went to bed just around midnight (I could tell because our resident idiot[s] was [were] out shooting firecrackers or a gun).   So that's how I rung in the New Year.

I'm not coughing as much today but it's still there.   And my mucus continues to feel very thick even though I'm trying to drink more water.   I'm actually trying different approaches.   I took a zinc pill and also some manuka honey and black seed oil.   I also resumed gargling and did a neti.   Dom and I went to the store on the 30th and I bought some knock off Lysol that was 80% cheaper that I've been spraying periodically hoping to kill the virus we keep spewing when either of us coughs.   I unfortunately go back to work tomorrow though I may opt for a sick day to give me one more day of recovery.   I have days that will go to waste so I may just do that.

Dom says he's almost at the tail end of his cold though he still has the cough.   I am praying this goes away.   It's not the way I wanted to end or start the year.   Not that I welcome this at any time.   Uggh.

Health Matters

 Dom is continuing to try and recover from all his health issues that have taken place this year.   The insulin has helped him manage his diabetes.    He's continuing to take blood thinners following his pulmonary embolism that was discovered a week after his prostate surgery.   His pee has been bloody but part of it is the side effects form the thinners.

Unfortunately Dom has been experiencing issues with his balance and lightheadedness that his doctors have been unable to diagnose.   He's done MRI and Cat Scans and even went to the ER once more to get to the bottom of things.   But the initial conclusion was that he was suffering from sinuses.

Dom and his primary doctor however does not believe the ER diagnosis and wants Dom to visit a neurologist and urologist to perform more tests.   He viewed the MRI results and was concerned about Dom's prostate once more and said that he had fatty liver and pancreas.    He is a candidate for cirrhosis of the liver which could be caused by viruses and even diabetes.   He has appointments set though one of them isn't until January 2024.

There is a fear that he could possibly have cancer which would be very devastating.   He's already said if it is cancer, he does not want chemotherapy or radiation.   There is a possible therapy for prostate cancer called Proton Therapy that he would be interested in.   The main benefit of proton therapy is that the treatment is tailored to target more of the bad cancer cells and less damage to the good cells.   The hope of course is that there is no cancer.   But we may not know anything till next year.   Gotta love modern medicine and how much they care for their patients.

So Dom's missed more work due to his symptoms and he's concerned that he may not finish the school year.   As a result we decided it would be best to add him to my insurance starting in 2024.   Of course doing so will put a hurting on my paycheck but I'm hoping since they typically use pre-tax dollars to deduct healthcare expenses that it may be a slightly less painful reduction.   I definitely need to get some kind of raise next year.  I pray too that I can hold on to my job because it'll also affect his health insurance if I lose it.   Time to kiss some butt...LOL.

Speaking of kissing butt, tomorrow is the Friendsgiving event at my job.  I am a bit nervous about going.   Also my plan to have the new person that was supposed to be in Chicago hang out with me has gone south.   I haven't seen the person online at all and he was a no-show on Tuesday.   I'm not expecting to see him tomorrow either.   So I have to attend the event alone.   I am hoping I can get over my nerves and try to chat with folks.

Apparently now I have to go to Indianapolis next Thursday to meet all four of the new hires that were placed under my wing and then take them to lunch.   I will say they seemed to hire some sharp folks.   There is a concern that they're hiring a lot of extra people and will there be enough work.   It may be a battle of the fittest to see who can hang on to their job in 2024.   My manager seems to like me even confiding in me about others she doesn't like (without naming names though I already suspect who).   But will that be enough to stay on.  Stay tuned.