You Picked A Prime Time

 I broke a cardinal rule a couple threads down in mentioning my current place of employment.   I normally keep specifics out but in this case I felt Amazon is a large enough conglomerate that I need not worry.   So Amazon had their Prime days on June 21 and 22 this year.    According to their news it was one of their most successful to date.    To handle all the extra volume, associates are required to work an extra hour during Prime.    So instead of 10 hour days it was 11 hours.    It definitely was extra tedious as always but I pushed through it.    Thankfully since I'm only working part-time, I only had one day of impact.   But while working there I'm on my feet a little over 9 1/2 hours of my 10 hour shift.    By the time I get home I ache all over and can barely move.   Dom makes dinner and I somehow manage to wash the dishes and have about 30 minutes downtime to surf or play games before I'm ready to crash.

It's the hard knock life for E these days.   But I do realize that things could always be worse.   No matter how bad it gets, it's better to make a tiny bit of income than none at all.    But I haven't given up on getting a better paying job.   Interviewing has been a bust so the next best option is to pick up new skills.

For years before I got laid off from my analyst position, I had been curious about cybersecurity.   I keep reading about how there's this shortage of professionals to combat the increasing threats of cyber criminals.   So after my second contract job ended I was thinking of going back to school to get a master degree in cybersecurity.   But then I had this nagging feeling about accumulating student loan debt (aside from unfortunately accumulating huge credit card debt...uggh).    At the time I was 46 years old and the thought of having to pay student loans well into my 50's and possibly 60's was not an appealing thought.   

I had thought about Western Governor's University.   At the time they were touting a lower cost alternative to the traditional college program.    They charge a flat rate every six months and during that time you can take as many courses (one at a time) in that time period.    The courses are related to the degree and it's a pass/fail system.

But I procrastinated and didn't go that route.   And then there was COV-ID.   I did have the Amazon job and didn't lose my job like lots of people did.   But those first few months not knowing much about COV-ID and suddenly being deemed an "essential worker" it was scary going into work.   Eventually we were given masks to wear on our faces.   And I pushed through it and still am.

I learned about this academy that had cyber security bootcamps.   At the time I was working with a caseworker from Indiana's Work One program.   Work One gave me help with resume building, interviewing skills, and job leads (though a lot of the jobs were ones I weren't necessarily interested in).   My caseworker mentioned the particular academy that I ultimately joined.   There was some funding that Work One would provide to help cover costs but I would have to cover some of the costs as well.   In the hopes of getting into the course, I completed some pre-work for the bootcamp and even attended an orientation.   Unfortunately Work One wasn't able to agree on funding and I was unable to participate in the program.

As it happens I learned about the Cares Act that was made law in 2020.    The academy mentioned that the Cares Act would cover $10000 in cost and unlike previous acts, it included a provision that folks who already had a college degree could still be covered.    I also had an additional credit for attending a free orientation.    In the end I would have to cover $2500.   I felt like it was a great opportunity and they mentioned providing support afterwards in seeking employment.

So the bootcamp was about 24 weeks.  It was a grueling experience and the goal was to obtain two certifications, Network+ and Security+.  I fell short on passing the Network+ exam and in order to get to the cyber lab portion and successfully complete the bootcamp, I needed to pass Security+.   It took a lot of studying but I did successfully pass and I did complete the bootcamp.

But getting the job was another story.   As I learned the reason they push Network+ as well is because for a lot of folks you don't get that cybersecurity job right up front.   You have to start in technical support apparently and maybe after a year or two, it may lead you to an entry level job.   It's disappointing having that reality especially when you keep hearing that there's this shortage.   But these companies want you to have all this experience beforehand which obviously you learn over time.

So I wound up taking a different path.   I saw an opportunity being advertised to learn Salesforce for free.   The program is being ran and sponsored by employees at both Salesforce and Deloitte.  I had heard about Salesforce before but I never had the chance to learn about it.   There was an online application that needed to be filled out in order to be considered for the program.    There were a few questions that were asked in the application.    Assuming my application caught their eye, the next step would be a 45 minute online interview with a Salesforce employee.

My application passed successfully and I had that interview.   I had a great vibe with the interviewer and I did my best to express my excitement to learn about Salesforce and ideally find employment.   But I didn't think I did enough.   Interviewing is my Achilles' heel and apparently I've been falling short for the longest time.    It's just been frustrating to not find anyone willing to take a chance on someone who gave over 20 years of his time to one company and proved to be a loyal committed employee.   But that doesn't matter it seems these days.   In fact it seems like job hopping is the way to go.    But I'm not bitter.   Much.

Alas I did get that callback...finally.   I did get accepted into the Salesforce program.   That's where I am today.   So far I'm four weeks into the program and so far so good.   The best part is that it IS totally free including them covering the costs of 2 Salesforce certifications.   That's a good thing too since I'm still paying for the cyber bootcamp (last payment should be in December 2021).   I'm praying that I'm on the right path.   But I won't give up.

I will say that Dom has been my rock (LOL...not Rock for anyone who remembers him) through it all.   Even when I'm feeling negative he always has a positive spirit and tells me I can do it.    Or that I got the job even if it doesn't happen.  I guess he's the Winnie to my Eeyore.

So we'll see where things take me.

Open Sesame

Almost seven years ago I mentioned meeting a guy I nicknamed Dom.   I had met him around the tail end of some health issues I was dealing with at the time.   So fast forward to present day and wouldn't you know it, we're still together.   He's officially my longest relationship to date.

Sally and I had talked about it and she made the observation that Dom came at the right time.   She was my emergency contact and go-to-person for any issues I needed help with.   We were there for each other for over 20 years at that time.   She met Dom weeks before leaving Chicago permanently mid-November 2014.   She and Dom (and I) had great conversation and later she told me privately that she "approved of this union"...LOL.

With Sally leaving for Alabama I would no longer have her around.   She was hopeful that Dom would fill that void.   Dom of course won't take her place but he has proven himself time and time again.

It's been quite the road getting to where we are today.   If I'm being honest I came to visit him more times than he came to me at the beginning of our relationship..    I remember Eugene pointing that out to me a few times.   He's all about the 50/50 which definitely is the ideal way things should go.   But unfortunately it doesn't always go that way.

I did enjoy visiting him even though within hours of getting to his place, I would get the worst allergy.  I would have fits of sneezing and my nose would become very stuffed.  It would clear up once I got back home.   Despite that I liked the neighborhood that Dom was in.   The best part was that he was only a mile or two away from Lake Michigan.   

In contrast I was not happy where I was living.   I wasn't happy for a long time.   I would've moved years back but the housing market took a turn for the worst in 2008.    I was a double minority in a 99% Caucasian block.   I did have nice neighbors including an elderly couple that lived directly across from me.    But when I participated in a block party a year or two back (2012), I definitely was made to feel unwelcome by some on the block.   Sally actually came out to support me and I remember clearly she tried to introduce herself to one neighbor who proceeded to ignore her.   I was livid.   It reminded me that I needed to get out.    So it felt nice to get away from home temporarily as I was racking up the miles.

I didn't go every weekend though.   I stayed in my neck of the woods one or two weekends a month.   I could count on one hand the number of times Dom visited my place in the almost two years I remained there.   But that really didn't bother me.

As we got to know each other there were issues that tested whether we'd continue or not.   The first issue was kids or no kids.   At the time I had wanted to have a couple kids but I didn't relish the thought of doing it alone.    Dom was (and still is obviously) eight years older than me and stated he had no desire to have children.   He was a school teacher and felt that was the closest he wanted to be to being around kids.   Basically he physically felt too old at 50 years old to be caring for a newborn.   It was fair.    I had to decide whether or not that would be a deal breaker.   

One of the things I felt guilty about was my parents not having any grandchildren from my sisters and I.   Neither of my sisters were able to (or wanted in Trina's case) have kids.   I felt like I was the last hope to keep our line of the family alive.   But I didn't really have a strong desire for kids.   Just thinking of all the crazy things kids had to deal with at that time turned me off.    It was more of a nice to have.    At the end of the day I had to realize that I shouldn't have a kid because I felt guilty (which actually I still do feel guilty about it to this day...but it's not as bad as I felt years back).    So at the end of day I accepted that Dom and I would just be Dom and I.   Incidentally he has a nephew and several nieces by his sisters so at least he got to be the cool gay Uncle (though he lamented that he didn't get to spend as much time with them as he could've since he was in the military and lived overseas during their formative years).

As an aside I remember when I was dating Rock, he and I having that same conversation about kids.    I believe he was 42 at the time and he was adamant about not having kids and that it was too late for him.   I tried to convince him otherwise but he wasn't going for it.    I wanted to tell him just because his Mom had him at 19 doesn't mean that he's late.    But I don't think that would've went well...*LOL*.   I was almost thinking had our relationship survived its other issues and a kid was in the picture, he or she would be at least 10 years old.    But with everything that happened to me jobwise in recent years, it's probably for the best I don't have any extra mouths to feed.

So back to Dom.   Another issue that crept up from time to time was our difference in finances.    At the time I was making over twice as much income as he did.   As an aside it's a shame that teachers are paid so low in this country.    The difference in income made Dom feel insecure.   There were occasions where he would blurt out that I should be dating another friend of his because he makes more money than he does.  I really didn't know how to respond to that one.  He also would tell me that he's not taking advantage of me.   I never felt he did.   In fact he always would push back on going to expensive restaurants.    One interesting thing is the few times we went to pricier places, the wait staff would always present the check to him.    I don't know if it was an age or race thing (yes he's white...*LOL*).   There were even some occasions where I notice the wait staff would address him only and ignore me.  Needless to say those wait staff got reduced tips at the end of the evening.

So because Dom didn't make a lot of money it irked me how Dom would spend his money.   Issue #3.  He's an avid doll collector that is constantly buying dolls and clothes and other accessories for them.   In fact when we first dated, I was introduced to his doll room which literally was filled with wall to wall dolls (with lots more in boxes).   He also had dolls in other parts of the house.   It was scary and honestly I almost decided not to pursue him because of it.   On the flip side, he never really thought about saving money.   He didn't even contribute to a retirement plan at work.    He complained of course that he wasn't making a lot and almost all of it was going to his "hobby".   I was trying to encourage him to save but he blasted me saying it was easy for me to do because I made way more money than him.   But I told him it doesn't matter what you make, it's what you keep.   He is right that it's definitely harder to save when you're not making a lot (I can really relate now...*LOL*) but even if he could save $5 a week in a savings account, in a year that would be $260.   And yes that's not a lot when you think of all the emergencies that could happen but it's better than nothing.    Thankfully he's gotten better over the years and we even have a tiny savings account funded from his paycheck.   Plus he's finally contributing to a retirement account.   Thankfully he got a bit of a raise moving to another school which has helped as well.    The doll thing is still ugggh but even that has been a little less.   Could go down more...*LOL*.

So I mentioned earlier that I could count on my one hand the number of times Dom visited me at my old place.   That's because I officially sold my house in late 2016 and moved to Gary to live with Dom in a bigger house.    There was no way I could live in his old place since there would be no room for my stuff.   Not to mention the allergies that would flair up every time I stayed there.    So we've been living together for over 5 years now.   How time flies.

So another issue came into play less than a year after we moved in together.   Dom was diagnosed with diabetes.   Also he lost his desire to have sex.   It was at this time he decided to mention that his Dad lost interest in sex around the same age as he did.  I admit that I felt a bit resentful as I never imagined being in a sexless relationship.   I figured the sex would diminish over time but didn't expect it to completely stop.   Since I still have desires, we decided to have an open relationship though pretty much it's only open on my end.    If you had told me ten years ago that I'd end up in an open relationship, I would've not believed it.

I do love Dom though and can't imagine my life without him.   In all honesty I don't really need a lot of sex these days myself.    Once or twice a week would do me fine.   Dom and I are still very affectionate with each other which is a good thing.   If that was gone as well I would definitely have to reconsider the relationship.

Unfortunately for me though since I have a desire for sex, I still frequent the social networking sites trying to find compatible people.    It seems even more challenging then it was when I first was exploring my sexual attraction to guys in 2002.   Maybe another time I'll be inclined to share more.

Interestingly enough I still talk to Midas.   We are definitely more friends now.   We periodically text and chat.   He too recently was laid off from his job and has been trying to figure out his next move. The last time we had sex was in 2011 so yeah it's been nearly ten years.   I'm not going to lie though.   I've thought of hooking up with him again but I don't necessarily want to go back down that road again.    Midas of course is a bit older but it doesn't seem like his horndog ways have slowed down.   Well at least he talks a good game.

This COV-ID mess has definitely put a damper on things sexually though I have still had some meetups.   But it would be great to find one or two guys I can have a regular thing with that understands that I'm not leaving Dom.   Hemingway, that's all I have for now.

From Analyst To Packer

Continuing on the theme of major life events that have happened to me relates to work.   For the longest time I was complaining about how I wanted to leave my job.    My old dream to become a daytrader in the stock market was just that... a dream.   But I don't have that desire anymore.   So no love lost there.   I did however wind up getting laid off from work after almost 20 1/2 years of employment in 2017.

The writing was on the wall in early 2017.    My manager Marsha announced in a team meeting that by the end of 2017, the team staff would likely be cut in half.   I managed to dodge layoffs since 2007 and knew my time was coming to an end.   Ten years of dodging was a good run.   I remember having a 1-on-1 with Marsha and asked her if I would make it to my 20th anniversary in April.     She responded in the affirmative.   I was happy to hear that just to have that milestone as I'm not likely to hit that anywhere else.    Not to mention I get to pick one more milestone anniversary gift.   I ended up choosing a mini-grandfather clock which I'm still enjoying.

In July 2017 I got the confirmation that my last day would be end of September.   I remember just nodding when Marsha gave me the news.   I remember her asking me if I had any feelings on it since I didn't give any reaction.    I told her that I appreciated getting the heads up.

I used that time to try and find another gig.   Those interviews sucked.   One of my most memorable ones was one for a business analyst role at Societe Generale in downtown Chicago.    I was originally scheduled to interview with one lady but then she wound up working from home and I met another.    She was going to have the original lady log in via a Zoom-type app that wasn't Zoom...can't remember what it was.   So my interview was at 8am and of course I was fifteen minutes early.   The time came and basically they wasted nearly twenty minutes of my 45 minutes trying to get the "Zoom" to work.   Finally the other lady decides to do the interview alone.   Basically I barely had time to get my points across and she basically insulted me by saying she didn't think I would fit in because the team was very intelligent.   So she was indirectly calling me dumb.   I so wanted to cuss that lady out.   I reiterated that I was a quick learner and felt like if given a chance I would be able to contribute.    Needless to say I didn't get that job.   My attempts to reach out to the original lady fell on deaf ears.

Basically I had interviews that led nowhere.   Thankfully since I had worked at my previous employer for almost 20 1/2 years (missed the complete half by two weeks...*LOL*), I had a great severance package that was 40 weeks worth of my salary.    That made things a lot less painful but I still was struggling to find something.

I finally was able to land a six month contract business analyst position with a popular aviation leader with headquarters in downtown Chicago.   That was a great role and I was so sad when it ended.   I had tried to find other contracts within the same company and even befriended one of my teammates there who really tried to help me but nothing materialized.

As a segue I really enjoyed my time working downtown.  I loved taking the train in the morning (even if it was crazy packed) and walking downtown to their offices.    Plus there were so many food options to choose from for lunch.    I even befriended a lady named Neela (the one I mentioned who tried to help me find another gig) and we would exercise by taking the steps on several floors and hanging out downtown.   I worked there from March through September of 2018 so thankfully didn't deal with snow but I hated rainy days as I would get drenched walking from the station to the building and since I was a contractor, I didn't have my own space where I could store a hair dryer or a change of clothes.    So I'd have to use the blowers in the men's restroom to try and dry out best I could between other men trying to use the restroom.    The other thing I didn't care for was constantly being stopped by solicitors and beggars.    Some of them would get nasty with you if you kept walking and not listen to what they were selling.    But really those were the only gripes I had.

So I wasn't having any luck finding any other business analyst roles and interviews were getting harder to come by.    Sally reminded me of her time working at Home Depot and Aramark before finally getting a corporate job again in 2014.   She told me I needed to check my pride at the door and take a retail job.    

There were a couple things that stopped me from going that route right away.   One was that I wasn't ready to give up on getting a business analyst role.    The other one was that I needed to go to Detroit to help care for my sick Mom.    At the time she had her hysterectomy and I wanted to be available to help my parents.

After my Mom's initial recovery, I decided to apply for a warehouse position at Amazon.    That resulted in me going to an informational Amazon session at a local job banks site.    From there I was directed to apply via another website for a job.   There was a Warehouse that's ten minutes from my home.   Unfortunately there were no openings there so I applied at a location 90 minutes away even though it wasn't ideal.

That led me to attend another orientation session where I needed to submit to a drug test.   Assuming I passed the test, I would be given a start date.    I did pass and my start date was 05/08/2019.    I was scheduled to work 4 1/2 hours a day from Wednesdays to Sundays.

It's been a surreal humbling experience working at Amazon.   It definitely felt like a huge step down organizing packages into duffels and transporting those duffels to Amazon drivers.    It's definitely not what I thought I'd be doing at this stage in my life.    But having a job is better than having no income going in.

Within two months I was made into a permanent employee.   I attempted to relocate to the facility close to my home but that led nowhere.    I decided to relocate to a larger facility that was 40 minutes from my home.   That was around the time my Mom died.   I used a bereavement day on my first day at the new location and came in the next day for orientation.    My new schedule was a full-time one for 10 hours a day from Thursdays to Sundays.

My job there was different than at my first location which was actually a smaller secondary facility that resorted packages to later pass to the drivers.    For this role I would be picking customer order items off giant pods driven by "Roomba" robots.  

One thing I had to get used to is that your breaks are timed and you have to be back at your stations in the allotted time or else you get Time Over Task points.   Breaks are 30 minutes but actual time is more like 15 minutes between the time it takes to walk to my car and back.

For the most part the people are nice.   I did have one jerk call me a "FAGGOT" after I accidentally walked into the same path he was planning to walk.    But thankfully at the time of the incident, I had planned to move to a different role with a part-time schedule.   My hope was that doing a part-time schedule would give me time to find a corporate job.    Yeah that's still in progress.

My new and current schedule is Saturdays and Sundays for 10 hours each.   As a bonus since my schedule is a weekend one, I would get differential pay of an additional $3 an hour.   I get that differential even if I work extra days.   My current role primarily is to pack items into boxes from those that are picked.   Occasionally I get called back to pick which I actually prefer since you're mostly by yourself whereas in packing, everyone is closer.   Plus in the summer months it's cooler in the picking area.

So that's been my work life.   But I have been making some moves that I'm hoping will help me get my work life back on track.    But that's for another time.

Till I See You Again

When Can I See You - Babyface

Refrain:

When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
When can I breathe once again
And when can I see you...

 I was just combing through some of my old blog entries from my 1st blog and this one.   I had to laugh reliving some of those memories.   I can't believe some of the things I've done and experienced being new to the gay world.   I am really happy that I preserved some of those memories to realize how my life was in the mid-2000's.   I would like to be able to continue to preserve more memories as I approach my 49th birthday in October.   I can't believe I'll soon be 50 years old.    What a life I've had and hopefully I still have a little more left.

So what has been going on with since my last post in April 2015?    

The biggest life event that happened was losing my Mom to cancer October 29, 2019.    About a year before she passed, she mentioned having postmenopausal bleeding that was happening periodically.   When she went to the hospital to get it checked out, tests were ran and it was determined that she had uterine cancer.   She had surgery in March 2019 to remove her uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes.   She needed a couple months to recover from the surgery.   Thankfully I was not working at the time and was able to spend time with my parents to help them out.    My Dad doesn't know his way around the kitchen so I would cook meals.   My sisters Tasha and Trina also came by to help as well.

She recovered from her hysterectomy but in early July she experienced severe lower back pain.    Tasha and her husband Abe took Mom to the E.R. and they ran tests.   The cancer she had unfortunately hadn't been completely removed and had spread in her body and was causing the pain in her spine.     We received the bad news that she would need chemo or radiation to remove it but even that was no guarantee.    Based on tests the doctor said my Mom had six months to live.   

That was a tough pill to swallow.   There were two chemo drugs that were suggested that had a main side effect of "death".    My Mom quickly resigned herself to her fate which made me upset at first.   I desperately was trying to seek alternative options purchasing curcumin and a combo of herbs that was put together into an Essiac tea.    But my Mom didn't want to try anything other than the pain meds that were prescribed to help relieve her spinal pain.   She decided against chemo and radiation and was put in hospice care at their apartment.

I had to accept that my Mom was soon going to be gone.   I still held out hope that somehow a miracle would happen and she would recover.   But with each passing day I knew the odds of that happening was very slim.   

By the time she started experiencing her pain I was a couple months into a warehouse job at one of Amazon's many facilities.    I was working 20 hours a week split into five 4 1/2 hour shifts Wednesdays to Sundays.   So I would travel to Detroit every two weeks either Sunday evening or early Monday morning and stay until Tuesday evening.    Tasha and Trina would take turns dropping by everyday to help care of Mom and Dad.   

It was a grueling schedule especially for my sisters.   Around early September we hired a caretaker that came in Monday through Friday morning to bathe my Mom and help shift her position in bed since she was unable to move on her own and developed bed sores.   The caretake suggested keeping a notebook so we could all take notes on my Mom's condition and meds taken and have them available for whoever had the next shift.

I made sure to be in town for my Mom's birthday on October 2nd.   I bought a half dozen caramel cupcakes and another half dozen red velvet cupcakes from a Detroit bakery.    It was a somber day but we had some joy seeing my Mom quickly devour one.    I saw both my sisters hold back tears.   I oddly kept it together.

I finally unraveled about a half hour before my Mom transitioned.   I came into town on Monday October 28th.   Mom was resting and I sat on a chair near her bed just watching her rest.   When she saw me we greeted each other.   She wanted me to take a rag and wet it with some warm water and use it on her forehead.   I made several trips to the bathroom to refresh the rag.   We kind of had a small bit of humor when I came back with a cooler rag and she moaned briefly that it was too cold.   I apologized and she gave me a smile as I went back to the bathroom to refresh the rag.

We briefly talked and expressed that we loved each other.   As evening drew my Mom started moaning and wouldn't stop.   I tried to reach out to her but she wasn't there and continued to moan.   Tasha came by after work to see us.   She stayed for a little bit but soon became upset seeing my Mom's state and decided to leave.    My Dad came into the bedroom later and she was still moaning. 

She moaned all throughout the night.   I slept on a recliner in the next room and woke up several times throughout the night to check in on her.   Each time she was still moaning.

Later that morning the caretaker came in to take care of my Mom.   I sat in the next room with my Dad.   She told me that Mom was "actively dying".   I had to look it up online to understand what it meant.   She needed my assistance to shift her on the bed.   My Mom was not aware of us in the room and was still moaning with her head tilting to the right.    It was at that point that I lost it and started crying.   I took one hand and cradled it behind her head to straighten her neck and also held the slide sheet.

Our caretaker afterwards was explaining more about "actively dying" saying that my Mom was in her last stage of death and that she could die anytime in the next few days.   It wasn't long after I received the explanation that my Mom suddenly called out and went silent.   We called out to her but she didn't say anything else.   It was then that I realized that my Mom died.

It was a rough period after that.  I reached out to my sisters to let them know what happened.  I made the mistake of calling 911 instead of the hospice nurse and that proved to be a nightmare.   Tasha later reached out to the hospice nurse who came over to declare my Mom's passing and then the funeral home came to take my Mom's lifeless body away.

My Dad is now living with Trina and her husband Donovan.  They were able to break my Dad out of the apartment lease my parents were in and the majority of my parents' items were moved to a storage facility.

It hasn't been easy for my Dad.    He went from living in an apartment to now being in one bedroom.   He has his health issues but he celebrated his 91st birthday this past January.   I'm grateful that he is hanging on and try to keep in touch with him regularly.     In fact I will give him a call right after posting this entry.

More later.

It's Still There.

Happy 2015 over three months later.     Just wanted to pop in for a real quick update.

My relationship with Dom is still going strong almost seven months later.    We definitely seem to still enjoy each other's company.    We've both talked about meeting each other's families.   Summertime will probably be the best bet for that since he'll be done with his school year.   Speaking of which he's in the market for a new teaching position as the kids where he teaches at are a bit too extra.    Only thing he's a bit of a procrastinator, something else we both have in common...*LOL*.   He needs to get cracking on filling out apps.    It doesn't sound like it's as intense as Eugene's college gig though, which from what he told me you have to interview at least a year before your start date to get in any college.   Eugene of course was questioning why Dom wasn't looking sooner.  

One thing I've learned from my last relationship with ex-Rock is to be careful not to share everything with Eugene about my relationship.   I'm careful to not mention things to Dom that Eugene said about him.   That got me in trouble with ex-Rock and it got to the point whenever I had an issue with ex-Rock to discuss, he kept thinking Eugene was the catalyst behind it (as opposed to me having my own thoughts).

I'm visiting my folks this week.   They have their usual health issues but are otherwise okay.    My Dad messed up the front bumper of his car today backing out of a parking spot at his dentist office.     He hit something that he couldn't quite see and it pulled out a small corner of his bumper.     Thankfully my brother in law (Tasha's hubby) has a brother that repairs cars so hopefully he'll be able to fix my Dad's.   Incidentally my Dad had the genius idea to put a rear spoiler on the car as well after seeing someone else in the complex with a similar spoiler.   I ordered a spoiler for him months back that he hasn't installed so maybe he can kill two birds with one stone.    We'll see.

They say whatever you post on the internet never truly goes away.    I wasn't so sure that was the case when my former favorite TV show discussion board, TelevisionWithoutPity, went buh-bye.    A lot of posters moved to another TV forum board called Previously TV.

Anyway I was watching on Netflix the series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt last week and wanted to see what other folks thought of the episode.    Sadly the show was in the news due to the death of a plastic surgeon that a character on the show was loosely based on.    I don't nearly post as much as I used to.    There was this one show I really, really liked that I posted a lot on.    I even named my first blog after it.    But once TWoP went bye, all the threads were gone, including the very exciting discussions I along with a group of other forum members had on the show.    The discussions got heated at times but for the most part everyone was somewhat respectful.    Every now and then I enjoyed going on the thread long after the show was unfairly canceled just to relive those days.    

Anyway someone on the new forum posted a link to TWoP's archive board for My Name Is Earl.   It didn't take long for me to search through the archives and find the thread for my beloved Half & Half.   My life is now complete as I pour through the archives to relive the discussions.

Life is good...LOL!

Bama Jamma

My friend Sally if you remember from my older blog lost her job in November 2007 and has been juggling things since then with two jobs combined that paid less than her single job.   It's been seven years of sweat, tears, and fears.    There were many times I've helped her emotionally and financially whenever issues crept up.   It's been a crazy journey for Sally culminating to a recent hysterectomy over the summer due to an incompetent primary physician who failed to diagnose her fibroids.   Sally did get another IT job in 2012 but that only wound up being a temporary job for five months before she was let go again.    Luckily she had still held on to her retail job so at least she wasn't totally out of work.

 In the midst of all that craziness, a long time friend of hers who I met a couple times when she lived in Chitown in the late 90s, recently became a IT manager for a major bank in Alabama.   Dara had a couple openings for system analysts in her group and wanted Sally to interview for one of the positions.    The timing of the position perfectly coincided with Sally's recovery period ending.   There was an initial phone interview with Dara herself but Sally would need to fly to Alabama for a second interview with Dara and a couple of her teammates.    Sally of course didn't have the funds to get a ticket so a few of us chipped in and got the ticket for her.

The interview went well but for whatever reasons things seemed to be dragging with HR.   Dara kept assuring Sally that the HR rep would contact Sally with info on what to do to get the background check going.    Then Dara needed to have a separate meeting with her manager since that manager was on vacation when Sally was in town.    Sally had to also provide an updated resume to that manager.

Things continued to drag for another week and even though Dara assured Sally that the job was hers, Sally didn't trust 100% that to be the case due to two past times where she supposedly had the job and then the rug was pulled under her.   One of those times there was even an offer letter presented so in her mind she didn't want to get her hopes up.

But finally she got the official offer and word that the job was hers and she would be making about as much as she made in her former job before losing it.   Needless to say it was a mad rush for me to help Sally pack as much as she could before needing to head down to Alabama.    She also had a pet that she wanted to keep but wouldn't be able to take with her initially.    Thankfully one of her cousins came through and was able to drive her pet to Detroit to her Mom.

I wound up helping her load up her car and splitting driving duties as we made our way on the 11 hour trip to Alabama and ultimately Dara's home in Birmingham.   It was a bit of a surreal experience, both of us excited about her new opportunity and amazed at the timing of it all.

We arrived in Alabama at 1am on Thanksgiving morning.   The three of us chatted for a bit before turning in.    Thanksgiving Day was spent with lots of Dara's family as well as her boyfriend.     We all definitely had a lot to be thankful for this year.

Friday morning we went for a quick breakfast and then Dara took Sally and I for a quick trip to the corporate office as well as a downtown trip and tour of Kelly Ingram Park, located in Birmingham's Civil Rights District.    We took a moment there to reflect on the experiences blacks went through in the 60's in the fight for basic rights.    Structures of the dogs and firehouses used to confront demonstrators were present throughout the four acre park.   It's a reminder that we've come a long way though in some ways even in 2014 and beyond, we have a long way to go.

Before I knew it, it was time to drop me off at the airport for my return flight to Chicago.   I said my goodbyes to Dara and Sally.    Sally and I kept our emotions in check.    But I teared up a bit on the plane ride thinking of not having Sally in Chicago anymore.   We've been friends for over 19 years and shared a lot of good and bad times together.    But I'm so happy for Sally.     One of her friends told her that it was fitting that things came together exactly seven years from when she lost her IT job.   In the Bible there are many references to sevenfold and seventh.   For example in Genesis it took seven days and nights for God to create the world.    On the other end of the Bible in Revelation, there are seven angels to the seven churches, seven seals, seven trumpet plagues, seven thunders and the seven last plagues.

I look forward to visiting Birmingham a little more often in my future.

Forking Forward

As I mentioned in my last post I had a follow up appointment with my anal specialist.   The specialist wound up moving to another practice in Chicago so at first I was going to go with another specialist in the same practice.   But when I called to confirm if the new specialist was going to do an anal pap smear, the nurse suggested I go to my original specialist in Chicago.     Anal pap smears aren't being done in a lot of places and I really didn't want to have another high resolution anoscopy to check for abnormalities as that would require being put under and several days of recovery.    So I wound up going to my original specialist at his new practice.

The anal pap smear went well and I got the best news possible.    There were no more abnormalities found and that I just have to follow up again in a year.     I was definitely relieved at the news.

Around that same time I had a quick email chat with a new guy.   Actually Dom wasn't all that new.   I tried chatting with him two years back but he didn't follow up with me.    So in early September he sent me a couple compliments on my pics but recalling how it went back then, I didn't respond right away.    When I did get back to him, I kept it short and simple.

So Dom is the organist for a local GLBTQ church in Gary, IN.  So yeah he lives an hour and some change from me currently.    He invited me to his church to check it out and to meet him afterwards.    That went well.   We seemed to have an instant connection.   He lives not too far from the lakefront so after service we walked there.    He took several opportunities to kiss me along the lakefront.    He stated his particular area was considered gay friendly and while he's not a full on PDA type of person, he does like sneaking in kisses here and there.    And I really did enjoy our kisses.    We went back to his place (against his rules) and spent a nice afternoon there before I took off.

Later that week his church was having its first movie night so he invited me to that.   I wound up spending the night with him.   Subsequently we've been seeing each other several more times and even most of the congregation at his church seemed to take a liking to me.    It's going on a month and a half since our first meeting.   

So Dom and I agreed that we should take our time getting to know each other before committing.   One thing he has going for him is that we've met more times than I've had with any other guy since ending things with Rock in 2008.    That's actually kind of sad but my luck with guys have been really shitty.

I've had to adjust to the concept of going to church regularly again, something I haven't done in years.    It's not that I don't believe in God but I've of course been used to not going regularly.   Also it's a small church and he goes an hour and a half early so I've had to go early too (since we're not at that stage yet where he's comfortable leaving me alone at his place).    It's a little awkward at times interacting with the congregation cause some of course keep inquiring on where Dom and I stand, which is really none of their business but in a way since Dom includes me in his church activities, it is.    He's bought past dates to meet him at his service as well.   It's a bit atypical but since he's a school teacher and goes to bed early, he really has limited time to interact with dates so he tells them up front that church is a big part of his life and anyone who wants to be with him, will have to understand that.

Also Dom is coming into my life on the tail end of my health issues.   I've told him about my HPV and how thankfully everything is clear now (even though it's likely dormant in my system).    But he hasn't been there through my surgeries and recovery.    I hope I don't have any recurrences or another abnormal pap smear but if I do, will he be there or will he freak out and run away?

So many questions which is why I'm glad we're taking our time and getting to know each other, even though we've hit home base a couple times already.   I know it's bad but it was so good...*LOL*.