Milwaukee Cheese Trip

 I'll be turning 51 in a couple days.  Time continues to march to the beat of a fast drum.   I decided to take the next 6 days off from the job.   I spent part of my first day off going to catch the latest Saw movie Saw X.    The theatre I go to now has it where you can pick the seat you want to seat on.   I picked a corner seat in the theatre hoping it would be a quiet spot.   Unfortunately I failed to realize that a family would choose seats nearby.   It was a bit annoying especially with the Dad take kept yapping.   But thankfully they quieted down when the movie started.

I was falling asleep during part of the movie but it picked up once the protagonist started targeting a group of folks because they were scamming folks of money on snake oil treatments for cancer.   I was pleasantly surprised to see actor Michael Beach make a cameo.   The handsome brotha is almost 60 years old and still has a banging body which he showed off in the movie.   He's definitely aging like a fine wine.

Dom just so happened to have time off next week from school.  So he wants us to go see him Mom this weekend.   It'll be my first time seeing her since the obituary-gate incident.   I'll admit that while I wasn't as upset learning that his Mom didn't want me to be mentioned on the obituary, I still am feeling a certain way.   Dom forced me to chat with her briefly last week.   I was cordial of course but talking to her brought it back to the forefront.   I guess I'll be fine seeing her.   I just will have to try not to think about it.

Afterwards my plan is to do a staycation and travel to Milwaukee to stay two days at the Potawatomi Casino hotel.   I haven't been to Potawatomi since sometime in 2010 or 2011 when they used to allow smoking.   Thankfully since Cov-Id they have joined the list of casinos that ban smoking in the main casino hall.   So at least I won't have to worry about smelling like an ashtray.   It's actually part of the reason why I now avoid the Indiana casinos for the most part and stick to Four Winds in New Buffalo, MI.

There's an old family friend who happens to live in a town 30 minutes outside of Milwaukee.   She is a nun that used to tutor Tasha and I when we were in grade school.   She visited our old Church growing up but lived in a monastery in Wisconsin.    She used to write the family letters and I remember my Mom would force my sister and I write her back.  LOL.  Eventually we stopped writing each other.

I had reached out to her back in 2021 because I had thought about visiting the Milwaukee area and remembered that she lived there.   I was slightly offended when we finally chatted because the first thing she asked was if something had happened to my Mom or Dad.  I'm guessing my former Pastor may have mentioned something about my Mom passing away.   I just didn't like the way she asked and felt like if she knew about it, she could've led with being sorry to hear about my Mom passing.

But that was a minor hiccup.   We chatted for about 30 minutes catching up on our lives.  She mentioned having to care for an ailing older sister of hers.  I felt like she was being judgmental when I mentioned being with Dom who I wasn't married to just yet.    But I might've been projecting that.   Anyway I am going to see if I can visit her while there.  I believe she's in her late 80s though she won't tell her age.  I haven't talked to her since that time so I'm hoping she's still around though I haven't seen anything online about her passing so I'm assuming she still is.

I also chatted with this one guy on one of my social networking sites.   But my luck with meeting guys has been dismal so I'm not holding out on us meeting.   He already made some excuses about having to work late and needing to take care of his mother.   So we'll see.   Maybe I'll win a birthday jackpot.   That would be nice...LOL.

It is nice getting a break from work.  I won't lie though I still logged in today just to check out on some of my work I left behind.   But yes I know it'll still be there when I get back.

Happy Birthday to me!

Creatures Of Habit

 I've been commuting to the downtown Chicago area approximately once a week for work.    About 20 minutes of that commute currently is driving to the Southshore train station 20 minutes from my house.   I have a station that is about 1/2 mile from where I live but the Southshore currently is in the midst of a Doubletracking project that directly impacts that station.   So rather than wait for a bus to take me to the nearest viable station (since the bus schedule is unpredictable), I drive myself to the nearest major station where trains are operable.

So I usually arrive at the station about 20-30 minutes before the train arrives.   So I usually chill in the car for about 10 minutes before walking into the station and joining the crowd of folks that eventually hop into the train.   

I usually park further away from the station to avoid being near other cars.   This particular time while I was chilling in the car, I noticed this one car coming in and they decide to park near me.   In my mind I'm like "hell to the no", there's so many other parking spaces around me and you choose to park by me.   As I'm thinking this, the driver decides to back up and move the car to a different section of the lot.   I was thinking 'okay'.   So just when I think they're settling there, the person moves the car again to a different spot.   The lady briefly gets out of the car to go to the trunk before getting back in and then moving the car yet again to another spot.

By this time I'm thinking this lady is certifiable and I finally leave my car and head to the station waiting area.   Wouldn't you know it, ten minutes later that same lady decides to stand near me.   I'm looking at her like 'wow'.   Yes I recognize folks have a right to stand where they want to stand.   But witnessing her antics in the parking lot, I was thinking I don't want this potential nut case standing next to me.

I talked to Dom about it later that morning and as I was talking, I realized I should probably give the lady some kind of grace.   None of us knows what people are going through in their lives.   Maybe it was her first time at the station and she was overwhelmed.

So the next time I'm waiting at the station, I see the same lady again coming over to stand near me.   Then it happens the time after that and she even winds up sitting across from me on the train.  I start to think she must be a stalker till I realize that I've been pretty much standing in my same spot myself.  I park in the same corner spot at the train station away from people (though recently people have been parking closer to me I find when I get home...uggh...LOL).    But I remember pre-pandemic when that same parking lot would be extremely full and you'd be lucky to find a spot.   So ridership is still not back from those times.

It was then when I was reminded that we are indeed creatures of habit.   Even in the office where these days we do not have assigned seating, I find myself sitting in the same spot when I go in.    And I've seen others do the same.   It is funny how old habits die hard.

So Midas and I met for lunch yesterday (09/30).   We met halfway between our homes at an Italian eatery.   I'm not gonna lie.   Seeing Midas again stirred up old memories of when we used to hookup.    Midas of course is older and not in as good shape as he used to be, but damn if I wasn't wanting us to bump uglies even though it's been over 12 years since we last did so.   I was then reminded one reason why it didn't necessarily work out for us.   I suggested us hang out a little longer by him accompanying me on an errand.    He of course pushed back but I understand why.   We're not in a relationship so technically the last thing he wanted to do was something mundane like I was suggesting.

I'm not going to lie though.  On my way to my errand after our brunch, I drove past a park and I was thinking, damn it would've been nice if Midas and I went to that park and rekindled old passions.   I guess it doesn't help that the last time I had sex was back with Lansing Bae in March 2023.   Now had I suggested we go to the park, I think Midas would've been more receptive.   LOL

Yes, old habits die hard.

P.S. Happy 99th birthday to our 39th U.S. President Jimmy Carter who is continuing to defy the odds.    Here's to another year around the sun as you inch closer to your 100th!   Cheers!

Hobo-Sexual Season

 I never knew there was a term for a bum that floats from place to place, never having a place of their own.   I learned from Uncle Walter today that it's called being a hobo-sexual.

Apparently the fall season brings out the Hobo-sexuals who promise to pay some rent if you let them move in but most times they end up sleeping on your couch, eating your food, using your water, and not contributing to the rent.    Uncle Walter shared a hilarious story about a text he received from a hobo-sexual who he knows at the gym that needed a place to stay and promised rent.

Most hobo-sexuals use their looks to help get them through the door.    They make all these promises but fall through and then you have to jump through hoops to get them out of your home.   The closest I came to having a hobo living with me was that one guy I briefly dated sometime in 2010 or 2011 (I don't think I blogged about him) that I found out was living with a friend "temporarily" while looking for a job.

I should've ran away soon as I found out but he favored the comedian Kevin James who I had a crush on at that time so I stayed.   The friend he was living with got annoyed with KJ because he still hadn't found a job yet and I imagine the friend was probably annoyed that KJ met me and had me over his apartment.   He did find a job briefly in a sales role but wound up quitting it the next day because he had to take care of some emergency (can't remember what it was).   I remember when KJ told me that, he said "oh yeah, the guy told me I could come back anytime to work again."   I don't think even I believed that one.

The times we did go out I always wound up having to pay for dinner or lunch.   I remember one time we went out he did offer to pay since he said he felt bad I was always paying.    But when he presented the server with his card, the card came back declined.   That was embarrassing.   LOL.

A few weeks later I remembered getting a frantic call from KJ telling me that his friend kicked him out because he still didn't have a job and he asked if he could stay with me.   I have a hard time saying "no" to folks but I told him I'd have to think about it and let him know.   I was a bit torn because I wanted to help him but at the same time I didn't want to be caught in a messy situation.   What if he didn't find anything and then I have a difficult time throwing him out.

 I immediately called Sally first and then Eugene.    Both of them were adamant about me not letting him stay.  I think they would've killed me if I agreed.   That gave me the courage to call KJ and tell him that I couldn't honor his request.   He was disappointed but understood as he continued his journey back to his home state of Kentucky or Ohio.    He called me a few days later and said he was living with his mother and that she was taking care of his finances.   

As I'm reminiscing about my time with KJ, I do sincerely hope after all these years that he was able to get his life together.   Maybe he's a millionaire now and I totally missed out.  LOL.   Guess I'll never know.

Thankfully that was the only time I recall I found myself almost in a hobo-sexual situation.   Uncle Walter had me cracking up with how the hobo-sexual whether male or female, use their attractiveness to try and find shelter and never seem to have anything going for themselves other than their looks.   I could never imagine living my life that way.   Well my parents taught me early on to work on being self-sufficient and I took those lessons to heart.   The hobo-sexual either never got that lesson or chose to ignore it.

 Anyway let this post serve as a warning.   Watch out for the hobo-sexual.   Don't let him or her move in with you (even if they provide good sex).   You'll regret it later.    This ends the public service announcement.  LOL

Lose My Breath

 Dom had a transurethral resection of the prostate or TURP for short surgery on August 29th.  It's a surgical procedure that involves cutting away a section of the prostate.   It's done to relieve the blockage that has caused him to not be able to urinate.    

The surgery itself went well.   They kept him overnight and during that time they irrigated his bladder for several hours to make sure his urine came out clear which it did.   One of the other purposes of the irrigation was to help prevent any blood clots from forming in the bladder.  He was feeling pretty good and was released from the hospital Wednesday afternoon.

He still had Fido (his nickname for the catheter he still had attached to his urethra) to contend with but the good news is that he would be able to finally get it removed on Tuesday the 5th.

That was the plan.   But you know how plans go...LOL.  

Friday night when heading up to bed, Dom felt dizzy and lightheaded.   He could barely move a few feet before feeling out of breath.   It took him several minutes before he could finally get into bed and initially he was so exhausted he had to lay flat across the bed for a few minutes more before he was able to adjust himself on the bed.   He then was breathing heavily for a few more minutes before he was able to finally catch his breath. 

He had the same experience Saturday morning heading back downstairs.   At that point we both wondered if he should go to the E.R.   But Dom wanted to wait to see if it continued plus he anticipated that the weekend would be crazy at the E.R. and we would be waiting a long time.

So the same symptoms occurred Saturday night and Sunday morning.   They even occurred when he moved around the house during the day.   Dom immediately suspected it could've been a pulmonary embolism.   I also was wondering if it was due to low blood sugar, low blood pressure, emphysema (even though that affects smokers which Dom and I aren't), lack of insulin, or B-12 deficiency.   But we would not know until we got a proper diagnosis.

So Sunday I go to mass and then make plans to visit my favorite casino that I haven't been to in a little over a month.   Prior to the casino I have to stop at Walmart to pick up a stupid item I bought just to use up all my gift card.   I had to get the Walmart app to set an appointment for pick up.   Fun...LOL.

I get to the casino which is about 45 minutes from home and after about 30 minutes I get a call from Dom.   He's experiencing the same symptoms and was not able to make it to the kitchen to fix a snack.   He was thinking of calling the ambulance to take him to St. Mary's.   I was at first thinking I should get home and take him but he made the point that he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it to the car.   He was telling me I should enjoy myself at the casino and he'll reach out once he's at the hospital.   Of course I couldn't enjoy myself knowing he was in agony so after talking to him, I headed home.

From our door bell camera, I was able to see the scene unfold at home as the EMS workers were coming to the house.   Dom himself was sitting on the steps and they slowly were trying to get him into the gurney bed.   Of course the flashing lights of the ambulance were streaming.  I wasn't able to see the fire truck that sometimes tags along for emergencies.   But it was our turn to give the neighbors a show no doubt.   They lingered for a bit in the driveway, no doubt trying to ascertain Dom's symptoms and treat him if possible.    Eventually they left and I got home about 30 minutes after they left.  

I called 911 to find out where they took Dom and the stupid operator said they couldn't give me that information and I would have to call all the local hospitals myself to figure out where they took him.   I did know that Dom was adamant about wanting to go to St. Mary's so I was hopeful they would take him there so that was the first place I called.   Thankfully I was able to confirm that he was there.

I get to the E.R. two hours later after calling myself trying to do some laundry to get some clean clothes for Dom.    When I get there I find out that they confirmed that Dom did indeed have a pulmonary embolism.   Basically he had multiple clots in his lungs that were causing the symptoms.   They started a heparin drip to help with breaking up the blood clots.   He was able to get a room where he's currently residing as of this post.

The plan today is that a cardiologist will meet with him to see if he would qualify for an angioplasty to try and break up the clots as well.   As a bonus if he winds up staying until Tuesday, they may be able to remove the catheter from the hospital instead of him going to another location to take it out.   We shall see what happens next.

We Plan, God Laughs

 I'm a long-time member and user of a social media, career site called Linkedin.   The primary purpose of the site is for jobseekers to have a place to organize their career experiences in the hopes of landing future roles with other companies.   I've of course had mixed success with the site but nonetheless I keep my profile there updated.   They've been a presence on the internet landscape since 2003 and I've been a member since May 8, 2008.   It was around that time when my first long-term company I worked for started laying off folks.   What I didn't know at the time was that I would wind up staying there a little more than 9 years later from that date before finally getting laid off from there myself.

One of the staple categories of posts seen are ones that can best be summarized as "Open To Work".   Linkedin even has a banner for it you can paste on your photo.   The struggle to find new roles whether one was laid off, fired, or looking for a change is real.   I've been part of that struggle as well for a spell.   I'm grateful that I have a decent paying job again though I am inching towards the "looking for a change" category.   In this present job market, the threat of being laid off is a constant presence.   So you always have to keep your Linkedin profile and resume (which you can attach on your Linkedin profile) updated in the event of that eventuality.  

So there was one post this morning that caught my attention.    It was from a person who was ceremoniously laid off from his position having been there for less than 60 days.   I've seen posts like that time and time again.   Some of the impacted are those who fell into the looking for a change category.  They job hopped to another role that sounded promising only to get the ax a short time later.   Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side until you get to the other side.

This particular person shared how he had just told his spouse that he was thinking of how he could grow in this new role and then he got laid off.    He shared a brief quote which I had never heard before so was sweet and concise and one that I wound up using in my title for this post.   The phrase was 'We Plan, God Laughs'.   In short we make all these plans thinking things will go from Point A to B.   But then life leads you to Point C or you get to Point B but wind up taking a different path to get there.   God already knows that's not in the cards but we don't realize it till later.

Life gives us plenty of 'We Plan, God Laughs' moments.  I only need to look at my old blog and refer to the various guys I encountered during that time that I just knew was going to advance to something more serious.   Or at least a regular fuck buddy.  But God knew none of those guys were right for me and they all revealed themselves one way or another to prove God right.   I think of all the jobs I applied for and got rejected or ghosted that I hoped would be the one.  Some of those rejections (umm redirections...LOL) and ghostings may have proven to be for the best.   For example a popular insurance company starting with the letter Z had absolutely no diversity in their staff (predominately Caucasian with a sprinkle of Indian).   Would I have really been happy working there?   I think not.  But I didn't realize it at the time until I thought about it further.  

My intentions this month were to try and keep my credit card purchases to $2000 or less.   But car insurance payments and an unplanned out of town work trip derailed that goal.   Last month it was a flat tire.    But I'll keep trying.  I'm hopeful that the planning will go off without a hitch one day...LOL.

It seems life is just a series of chess moves that we calculate hoping for one outcome but most of the time ending with another.   Until one day your time is up.    When, where, why, or how your time ends, we will never know.   But God does.   

But we'll continue to plan.  After all the alternative isn't all that great.

Speak On It Uncle Walter

Youtube can take you on quite a few rabbit holes when wandering from video to video.  I'm usually listening to 80's and 90's music.   One of the variations that I enjoy is the slowed down version of songs.   It brings new life to older songs and sometimes I prefer the slowed version over the original.   There's slow versions of songs from various artists like En Vogue, Brownstone, Toni Braxton, TLC, Joe, and even Whitney.   All the videos I linked were created by user Slowed Down RNB.   You should check out their videos and open yourself up to a new take on music.

Every so often I subscribe to random individuals who have post videos on different topics.   A few months back I started watching videos by a gentleman from the ATL area named Walter Lee Hampton.   He's actually been posting various videos for more than a decade.   He's a handsome older body builder type gay brother that I actually think of as my imaginary "gay uncle".   A gay uncle I'd like to fuck and fuck me.   Would that be a Unc-ILF?   LOL.    He's only a couple years older than me though.

But besides his physique I'm drawn to his no-nonsense approach that he has to various issues in life.  As I mentioned before he's based out of Atlanta and he speaks on the various aspects of living there.  Some of my favorite segments are his "Welcome to NiggaVille" posts.   A lot of what he says is the truth.   In one of his "Welcome to NiggaVille" posts, he talks about how single black women with kids are responsible for the destruction of the black race.    Obviously it takes two to tango (a man and woman) but he points out how many of the single mothers have multiple baby daddies'.   A lot of the baby daddies' don't take care of their kids so the single moms have to juggle working to bring home the bacon along with caring for their multiple kids.   In the end the kids are raising themselves and there's no consequences if they get in trouble.

In another video from that same series, he talks about how his former brother-in-law plotted to rob him when he was in his early 20's.   It was only because his sister warned him about it and implored him to move to another apartment that he wasn't completely robbed.    He points out how jealous so-called friends get when they see that you're successful.    They smile in your face but all the time they're wanting to knock you down a peg.    It's so sad but true.  It's why I usually keep any successes to myself as well.

In my case there were times I would keep my success even from my sisters.   I was always afraid of them being jealous of what I accomplished.   It didn't help that my parents were vocal with how they favored me over Tasha and Trina.   The issues stemmed from that nearly tore us apart.   It wasn't until recent years that we've addressed it.   I do acknowledge that my parents did favor me (mostly because I was the only son).   So part of me didn't want to throw in my sisters faces that I went on this trip or that trip when they weren't able to afford doing so at the time.   

I've also had so-called friends that I trusted that I found out talked about me behind my back.   It's why I don't really have a lot of friends.   I definitely could relate to Uncle Walter's story.

In a more recent video, Uncle Walter talks about an Atlanta man who was charged with knowingly infecting his wife with HIV.    Sadly she died of complications from AIDS.   She suffered for years with cancer and was even briefly in remission.   The doctors though didn't realize that she had the HIV virus until it had advanced.   It truly is a sad story and I agreed with Walter that the hospital should share some liability for not testing her a lot sooner where medicines may have prevented her death.   

But in that same thread, I also disagreed with Walter on his point that we should always take our medicines and trust the doctors.   While doctors do have more knowledge (generally), it's important that we as patients do our own research as well when it comes to medications.    He doesn't understand why black folks are so against taking medication.   But you only have to go back in history to look at how the medical establishment mistreated black folks.    There's the Tuskegee Syphilis Study where black men were not given treatment for syphilis when it was learned that penicillin cured it.    In addition there's studies that show that black women are not believed by doctors when they try to describe symptoms.    Black folks in general aren't treated as well as their white counterparts.    Plus a lot of the medicines today have so many side effects.   Is it a wonder that blacks as a whole may not be as trusting?

One of Uncle Walter's first videos that I saw related to Tyler Perry and if he is a self-hating homosexual.   I didn't realize that Tyler and Walter ran in the same social circles back in the day before Tyler blew up.    And he became famous with some of the stupidest shows that truly reduce brain cells anytime you watch it.   As Uncle Walter pointed out, part of the reason Tyler has blown up is that there wasn't a lot of programming at the time that depicted black folks.   Unfortunately everything that Tyler presents depicts the worst stereotypes in our community.   Uncle Walter also couldn't believe how Tyler bragged about having no writers involved in all his scripts.   Wouldn't he want to hire other black folks or any writers really that could offer additional perspectives and perhaps improve the scripts?   But then again maybe he doesn't trust anyone and wants to keep it to himself.    But why brag about it?

I am definitely a fan of Uncle Walter.   He has a lot of wisdom that he shares on almost the daily.   He did mention at one point discontinuing the channel and focusing on health related videos.   But I'm hoping that he doesn't.    He has a lot of wisdom to offer and if nothing else he should leave his older videos so that future subscribers can appreciate him as well.   I look forward to watching more of his videos in the future and definitely wish him well in all his endeavors.

And Just Like That...

 

I remember being a late bloomer to HBO's Sex & The City (mainly because I didn't have HBO). Once I started watching the show, I immediately became hooked following the antics of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda as they navigated their way through their lives in New York City. One of the main catch phrases of the show that was often said near the end of each episode was..."And Just Like That". That catch phrase of course is bringing new life to 3/4 of the original characters (though they recently gave Kim Cattrall the world no doubt to reprise her role of Samantha on "And Just Like That" for a few seconds...and I'm not mad at her...LOL).   Unlike for Sex & The City, I do have access to HBO MAX now just MAX (stupid name change) thanks to my friend Sally adding me to her account.   So I'm able to watch "And Just Like That" which of course pales to the original though some episodes try to bring that old SATC magic back.   Plus it's nice to see Nicole Ari Parker get some work.   Loved her on Soul Food the TV series.

Life has had many "And Just Like That" moments.  The latest one has a major impact on Dom and to an extent myself.   I mentioned in a recent post how Dom has an enlarged prostate and has to wear a catheter in his uretha for relief.   Unfortunately he started to feel feverish and had zero energy or appetite.   He ended up having a serious bladder infection diagnosed when we went to the ER.   His ER doc was debating whether or not to admit him to a hospital bed and at first it was decided to send him home.   But the next evening we got a call from the doc saying that Dom needed to be admitted.   

I dropped Dom off around midnight after a brief debate on whether to go that night or wait till morning.   Dom literally had no energy and was sleeping over half the day in his LazyBoy.   I repeatedly begged for him to get up so he could go to the ER but he couldn't move.   I know he wanted to but his energy wasn't there.   Plus the catheter was bringing him intense pain whether he sat still or moved.    It was several hours before he finally found that inner strength to slowly get up, each slight movement bringing him unbearable pain.   He had to slowly make his way to my car crying in pain.

He insisted I go back home and get some rest, both of us knowing he'd be at the ER for a long time before a room opened up.   I felt bad but I knew he was right.   He was thankfully attended to once I left but he was still in the waiting room once I met him there around 7:30 AM the next morning.   I did feel hopeful though when he asked me to bring a sausage McMuffin, hash browns, and unsweetened iced tea from McDonald's.    At least he had a little bit of an appetite.

The ER of course was filled with patients that were also waiting to be admitted to a room.   We were ushered to the triage area of the ER where Dom could at least lie on a bed.   Even sitting felt like a discomfort to him with the pressure the prostate felt.   That was a little after 9AM.   He did start getting antibiotic treatment when he first arrived after midnight and he continued to get treatment while in bed.   Finally just after noon (over 12 hours after he arrived at the ER), a room finally opened up that we were moved into.

Dom wound up staying there for 6 days where he continued to receive antibiotics.   He unfortunately also had an enlarged testicle which started to flare up Day 4 of his visit.   The first couple days he also went back and forth between having energy and feeling feverish again.

As Dom's sole caretaker it was a bit of hell on me as well (though mine pales in comparison to Dom's).   I needed to commute back and forth to the hospital, which of course I didn't mind since I do love him.   But the hardest part is needing to help Dom change his clothes since he isn't able to bend down and do it for himself.   I also had to wait several hours for his prescriptions to be ready at a different Walgreens because the one we normally go to decided to close their pharmacy for the weekend.   He also needs to go to the hospital once a day to continue to receive antibiotics.   It hurts for me to even move still so I've been taking him.   He wants to do it himself tomorrow since I'm working but I'm praying that he is able to make it okay on his own.

It's been a grueling experience so far.   It's almost reminding me of everything I had to do with my parents in their later years though in that case at least Trina and Tasha were there as well.   But it's part of life.  It's amazing how things are going okay and just like that, life throws a lot of shit your way that you need to navigate.   He just lost his Dad and younger sister and now he's dealing with his own health shit.   Life is a trip but we just have to keep on pushing.