Doll Mania

Dom is getting on my nerves again with his doll obsession.    He's wanting to renege on the initial Thanksgiving plans he initially suggested and I agreed with.    In my last post I mentioned how the plan he discussed was him driving us visit his parents Wednesday morning and stay there until Thanksgiving.   Then we would drive back home and then early Friday morning I would drive to Detroit and stay until Saturday morning.

I thought it was a good idea and I told my sisters about our plans.   So now Dom is saying he doesn't feel like going anywhere and just wants to stay home.   I told him that I thought the plans were solid and actually fair as I thought I would have to do all the driving.   So now he's suggesting only visiting his family on Thanksgiving and then he wants me to drive to Detroit and back the same day.   Mind you Detroit is about 3 1/2 to 4 hours (depending on how fast you drive) each way.

I'm of course objecting to the idea.   I was planning to have us stay in a hotel overnight since I thought it would be easier for the both of us instead of staying with Trina.    So then he says it's a waste of money to stay at a hotel for one night.    He has the nerve talking about wasting money considering all the money he wastes on his hobby.

Then I find out the real reason he wants to stay home.   Apparently there are some dolls that are going on sale Saturday morning and he wants to be home so he can buy them.    He gets paid this Friday and he's already talking about spending all his money.   Then he has the gall to complain about me paying for a hotel.   I told him that I was paying for it anyway so I didn't understand his concern.   Then he said "I don't care".   Considering how he chooses to waste his money, it annoys me that he's harping on a hotel expense for one night.   It's beneficial for me mostly because I don't want to have to spend 8 hours on the road in 24 hours.   If I was in my 20's or 30's, I wouldn't have a problem.   But I just don't have the energy or desire to want to do that.

He then suggested he stay home so I can stay longer with sisters.   But I already told my sisters he was coming as well and he'll leave me with the bag of explaining why he's not there.   Of course he'll come off being the bad guy in my sisters' eyes but I'm not trying to go there.

His laptop currently has an issue where it can't fold up properly without breaking the laptop.   So he won't be able to bring his laptop to spend all his money on dolls.   I believe that's the underlying issue.  I swear some days I wonder if I could turn back the clock and not have met Dom.   But I know that's not possible and at the end of the day, I do love him and despite a few annoyances, I can't imagine my life without him.

I'm hoping we can come to some kind of agreement.   We have another day or so to discuss.  Fun times.

November Fun

 The holidays are quickly creeping up.   We had our first taste of winter a few days ago.   It wasn't enough snow thankfully to stick too much but it along with the cold reminded me of what's to come.   Dom had a scary moment going to work narrowly avoiding being hit by a spun out semi-truck.   People definitely don't know how to drive when the elements first hit.

Dom and I are planning to do a bit of traveling next week for the Thanksgiving Holiday.   The plan is for him to drive us to visit his family the Day before Thanksgiving and stay till Thanksgiving.   Then come back home and I drive us to Detroit to see my sisters.   I really want him to go to Detroit since he hasn't been since my Mom's funeral.   He couldn't make my Dad's funeral because he started week one of the new school year at the same time and needed to be there.

Dom's already reneging on doing any traveling next week.   It doesn't help that the weather may be crappy as well.   But I really think we need to visit.   His sister is on the tail end of receiving chemo for cancer and it would great if his parents got to see all three siblings together at the same time.   Also like I said he hasn't been to Detroit in a while and he needs to make an appearance.   I'm praying the weather cooperates next week though since even I am not keen on driving if the weather is messy.

I capped off a great week at work (even through some annoying customers and account executive managers - but that's every week...*LOL*).  I closed a record 19 cases this week.   I'm usually lucky to close 10 cases.   But the stars seemed to align this week.   I have another certification exam that I'm attempting to take tomorrow as well that I hope I can pass on.    This time it's for Business Analyst, which used to be my past life.   I'm hopeful that I can add yet another Salesforce certification to my coffer which will make 6 certifications.    (Yes I also managed to finally get the Sales Cloud Consultant  Certification after my 3rd try on October 4th).    I'm hoping the questions for the BA cert will be intuitive based on the ones I've studied on.

Eugene called me the other day as well which was nice.   We don't talk as much these days like we used to years back.   He wanted me to help him verify access to download a recommendation letter he wrote for a former student (a greek hottie) who he kinda messed around with.   Greek hottie was a college student (now assistant professor) to clarify and it didn't happen till after he was done taking Eugene's class.   So anyway Eugene has been tight lipped on pics of him.   But he gave me enough information that I was able to do a Google search on the sly and finally lay eyes on a photo of him.   And wooh...boyfriend is fine!  Of course I had to tell Eugene what I did and we both shared a nice laugh.   

This weekend will be busy at our Church as well.   I'm part of the Church board and as clerk I have to take minutes for our yearly congregational meeting and also present accomplishments for the year which includes donations of school supplies and Christmas presents for children of parents impacted by the HIV virus, participating in local Pride fests, as well as hosting game nights and karaoke.   It's a bit of work being on the board but thankfully it's been manageable.

That's been my life in a nutshell.  I'm keeping it moving forward.

Live To Tell

 I was not ready for the fall but I wasn't too blind to see the writing on the wall.   If you're seeing this post, it means that I made it through my 50th birthday skydive unscathed.   This time I ended up with a lady instructor.   I admit I was hoping I would see my original skydiver once more but it's likely he's not working there anymore.   I mean, it's been ten years since my last visit.

Hemingway the instructor was nice but most importantly she got me out of the skydive alive.   This time I opted not to take photos or a video since I did all that on my 40th.    I was on a plane with two other customers and their instructors as well as camera and video folks since they both paid for the extra services.   So unlike my first skydive, where I was the first to get out of the plane, this go around, I was the last to get out of the plane.  

I don't know if it's any better being last out of the plane than it was being first.   She tricked me in saying that once the initial divers did their dive, they would close the plane and go a little higher.   I instead found myself in the position once again of being pushed out of a moving plane.   I wasn't really ready but I had no choice but to proceed.   I guess she did say I could give a sign if I didn't want to do it and they would not do the jump but I wasn't going to go out like that.   

I was nervous as hell and screamed to high hell when I started plummeting from the sky but I did much better than my first dive.   When she tapped my shoulders, I did stretch out my hands to wave.    Then moments later when she tapped again, I did try to reach back for the parachute.   But I couldn't quite find it so she wound up opening it.    The freefall again was the scariest part but I was glad that all the harnesses were properly connected and I was still latched to the instructor.

The weather was perfect too.  It was cold but it was sunny and in the mid-50s.

Prior to my jump I even had an old friend call me for my birthday.   I don't remember if I spoke about him before in my blog but Mitch and I first met back in 2009 when I responded to an ad on Craigslist (when that used to be around) for a hookup.   I met him at his place and a one hour romp wound up being an all afternoon and late evening stay.   

Mitch and I wound up having a great rapport and he invited me to stay over for a BBQ lunch and later some dinner.   We fooled around again later on before I left for the evening.

We met a few more times over the next few years but I knew nothing more would come of it since he was married with two kids.   He was in an open relationship and his wife knew of me and she was the sweetest person too.   I even met his kids (a son and daughter) twice.

Sadly he fell into some trouble in 2014 when he was accused of soliciting a nude video from a teenager.   He didn't realize the boy was actually a teenager until it was too late.   And apparently the boy had other older men in his web but Mitch took the fall for all of them.    He wound up getting an 11 year prison sentence at a federal facility where he can't have any internet privileges and of course no freedom.   He's also now a registered sex offender so once he gets out of prison, he'll have to be cautious of where he lives.

So it was great to get his call on my birthday.   He timed it good too since I was waiting at the Skydive facility for my time to suit up.   He's missed out on a lot of events that have happened since he began his prison time in 2017.    He's missed five weddings and he couldn't be there when his wife died from cancer.   His daugther also has some health issues and both of his children he said has resentment against him for what happened.   I feel so bad for him.    He's over half way done with his sentence and is scheduled to be released in March 2028.

We've been writing each other letters over the last six years and his emotions are all over the place obviously.   I always feel bad when telling him about my issues because it can never compare to being locked up in prison.   I pray for him and also pray I never find myself in that situation.   He was 54 when he got convicted and sentenced and will be 65 when he gets out.   Crazy.

So life goes on.   It'll be almost three years since my Mom died.   I plan to light candles for both my parents around All Souls Day.   It's just amazing how our lives are just a small blip to the millions of years the world has existed.   That's why I remind myself to try to enjoy life while you can.   It really is too short.

50 Eve

 I got back from my trip to San Diego on Tuesday.   It was an enjoyable time even though I didn't make any profit at the casinos I visited.   Also unfortunately David and I did not meet.    He had a close family pet die the day before my trip and he basically said that he wasn't in the best frame of mind to meet.   You never know if people are telling the truth when they make last minute cancellations.   Life does happen of course even if it happens at funny times.    I know if I told Eugene about it, he'd say that David is lying.   I  know too that the window of opportunity to meet again is unlikely.    Also he will have to make the next move if that is to happen.   And if it's like all my past experiences with guys, that means that it won't happen.  

But besides the casinos I also checked out Old Town and attempted to visit Julian, CA which has a place called Julian Pie Company famous for their apple pies.    I drove to Julian mid-Saturday and there was such a large crowd in the town and there were no places to park so I wound up turning back around.   But thanks to the Internet, I was able to order a pie online that'll be delivered to my home just in time for my 50th birthday.   It's an almost $50 apple pie too with half of that going towards shipping.    Hope the pie is worth the hype.

I lucked out getting a four day rental at a decent price.   I was able to use a corporate discount which made quite the difference in price.   The best thing too is that I just had to pick up the car w/o having to deal with the rental agent.    It was smooth and seamless.   

I didn't miss the airport one bit.   On the plane trip going I was surrounded by a lounging person in front of me and some young idiots behind me that kept pulling on my seat and pushing against the lower part.   And I didn't get a row to myself either time.    I fucking hate people.  Economy Parking was not so much an economic choice, costing me $75 by the time I returned.   

But I'm so blessed that I was able to do the trip.

I'm also planning to do another Skydive on my actual birthday.   The last time I did one was on my 40th birthday.   How time flies.    I admit I'm feeling nervous about it but I'm hopeful that it'll be fine like the last one was.  Thanks to Covid, they now gave me the option to sign my life away online.   I'm still deciding if I want to jump out of a perfectly good plane or not.    If I don't I'll only be out $50.

Merry Gardener

 Dom learned about this vegetable called cucamelon when looking at plant seeds on Amazon.    The cucamelon is a small veggie that looks like a small cucumber but tastes like a lime.  Apparently they are the latest hot superfood.    They are said to be chock full of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and fiber.   Plus they are low in calories and can help lower the risk of heart attack and stroke.

That all sounds good.   So of course we bought some seeds from Amazon.   We had a late start planting them sometime mid-June.   We had them in little tiny paper planters and then Dom transferred the survivors to a larger pot.    The plants themselves get quite vine-y but we're about a month away from the first frost so wondered if we'd get to enjoy an actual cucamelon.    Two weeks back we started noticing the little yellow flowers.  And to our joy Dom took a look at them after coming home from work today and to his surprise he saw two young cucamelons popping up.   He called them our little babies...*LOL*.    Hopefully they can grow up in the next month in time for us to enjoy the unique taste.   We definitely plan on getting more seeds next year and starting a lot earlier.

San Diego Rebound

 With my work life finally on track, I decided it's about time I take a vacation.  Well actually Dom and I had a few mini-vacations here and there over the years.   But I mean my first real travel on a plane type vacation.   The title of the blog says it all.   I'm planning a trip to San Diego for my annual birthday trip (which hasn't happened in a few years).   It'll be my first time on a plane since my trip to San Francisco in September 2018.    While in San Francisco, I chatted on my "favorite" social media hookup site (LOL...sarcasm) with a cool gentleman that was visiting San Francisco for a conference.    I was there for my final work project with a previous employer.    David and I had a great connection and planned to meet up for a nightcap.   Unfortunately we couldn't get our schedules to mesh due to our work obligations.    But we wound up having something better.   We developed a great email friendship that has carried on for almost four years.

David is a married college professor that's based in, you guessed it, San Diego.    He and his wife have a great marriage minus the sex.   So we share that in common.   They also have an adopted nephew with special needs that they take care of.   He shared with me how they helped him get in a program that helps him with developing skills to be productive.   David himself has a side gig as a magazine merchandizer at various stores.  It helps keep him fit.

I shared with him my life stories of working at Amazon, the loss of my parents, Cybersecurity bootcamps, Salesforce trainings, and job hunting.   He was always there with encouragement to keep going no matter what.   So when I was thinking about where to travel, I knew I had to go to his hometown to finally meet David in person.

My last time in San Diego was in 2012 (a little over ten years ago) hanging out with a former acquaintance I nicknamed Magic Mike.   I stayed in the La Jolla neighborhood at that time.    This time though I plan to mostly reside at the Sycuan Casino Resort in the East County neighborhood though hopefully I can take some side excursions while there.   The plan is for David to meet me one evening at the Steakhouse at Sycuan.    He's also hoping we can hang out for a bit during one of my other days in town.   We may even have that nightcap.   We will see how that goes.

Overall I'm looking forward to enjoying some time traveling even if it does hurt my wallet short-term.   Who knows though?  Maybe I'll finally win a huge jackpot to pay for it all.   One can dream, right?

Farewell Papa

Around 2am EST on August 20, 2022, my Dad took his last breath in a hospital bed.   It was the conclusion of several months of repeated hospital and rehab visits.   My sisters and I had a meeting with the hospital staff (I did it over the phone since I wasn't in town) on Friday afternoon where we discussed the future care for my Dad.   Trina scheduled court time to seek legal guardianship for my Dad since he wasn't of sound mind and body.   That was scheduled for September 15th but alas is not needed anymore.

I had hoped I would get to see my Dad one last time and planned to travel today to see him.   I got the call from Trina around 1:40 CST time but I was asleep and didn't hear the phone.   I woke up around 4:30 AM and saw that she had called but didn't leave a message.   I knew then and there what had happened.   I visited anyway since I originally had a certification test planned for that day that I rescheduled to a facility in Michigan.   I didn't pass the test but it was my first attempt at a new Sales Cloud Certification so I wasn't phased.   I just wanted to be there with my sisters.   We three are the final line of our particular branch of the family but both my parents have (had) other siblings who have other lines that are continuing on so unless COVID, Monkeypox, floods, fires, and whatever else the world has in store for mankind wipes everyone out, the family name will continue.

Prior to my Dad dying, Tasha had shared a letter she wrote and read to my Dad prior to his passing.   It inspired me to write my own letter that I didn't get to share with him verbally but I plan to place a copy of it with him in his casket.   I thought I would share it here as I remember the life of my Dad.

Dear Papa,

I wanted to take this moment to thank you for all you taught me.   I remember being afraid of you for the longest time.   It wasn't until I was much older that I learned from you the trauma that you dealt with growing up and the challenges you faced dealing with ignorant and racist people.  It's a wonder you kept on going.   But you had Mama and us 3 kids to think of.   I understand now the stress you dealt with and I see how we unintentionally added to it.   I can see why at times you would snap.

But I also saw a whole other side to you as well.   Your caring and vulnerable side.   You shared with me some of your hopes and dreams that didn't come to fruition.   I saw how prideful you were when I accomplished small milestones in my life.   And you were there to share your wisdom during those times I didn't reach my goals.

Some of my greatest moments was working with you side-by-side at our church.   Being the building manager brought its own sets of challenges.  I saw how you dealt with everyone wanting a piece of you and trying to tell you what to do or how things should be done.    You gave the church over several decades of dedicated service.   Your dedication and work ethic gave me a guideline to navigate my own career and work obstacles.

Well you made it to 92 years.   That's an amazing feat for a black man.   And I've said it before but it's also amazing both your older brothers also made it to their 90's before taking their last breaths.   I do hope you get to see them in the afterlife as well as your parents.

Most importantly I want you to give Mama the biggest hug and kiss for me.   You both made it to over 50 years of marriage.   I know she is waiting for you with open arms.   I still think of Mama everyday and now you are with her again.

I know you both will continue to watch over Tasha, Trina, and I for our remaining time on Earth.   I am hopeful one day I will reunite with you and Mama.   Until that day, know that you are in my thoughts now and forever.

I love you Papa!

Your #1 (Only Son) Eric