Baby, I'm Falling...

 Falling out of the bed apparently.   My Saturday morning started off unexpectedly.  I don't know if I was dreaming or having a nightmare but I felt myself spinning.   Next thing I knew I rolled off the bed, hitting my head on the nightstand and knocking one of Dom's dolls with me.   I nearly knocked over the CPAP machine as well.

It's not at all how I expected to start the day.   I had Dom panicking as well as he got up to turn on the lights and then reach out for me from the side of the bed to help me up.   I quickly got up and was holding the right side of my head with the palm of my hand.   I was feeling a dull ache from hitting my head.

Needless to say both Dom and I got out of bed.  The plans for today include going to Meijer's (maybe Walmart since eggs are slightly cheaper there) and then Walgreens to pick up Dom's prescriptions.

Afterwards Dom and I plan to head to the church to meet Don and Juan.    We'll then carpool over to Katherine and her wife Sherry's home for their second annual get-together at their place.    They are an elderly couple that's been together for almost 20 years.   Both of them sadly have their health issues (don't we all) but they're making it work.    

So the get together starts at noon.   Katherine was mentioning that folks should carpool since space would be limited.   I messaged Juan earlier in the week and asked him about Dom and I riding with Juan and Don to the event.   He was game.   Yesterday evening he messaged me asking me what time we wanted to meet at the Church.

In my mind I was thinking I didn't want to get there too early.   Dom on the other hand was fine with arriving right at noon...*LOL*.    So we compromised and I told Juan we could meet at 1:30 PM.   

I knew I made a mistake when Juan didn't respond back.   I was thinking I hope I didn't give him an aneurysm.   I went to the restroom and felt my phone buzzing.   I had no idea why it was buzzing since it didn't flash that a call was being made.    It ended up Juan was calling me on Facebook messenger.   It's a good thing I didn't answer as I was having my nature call.

I saw Juan messaged me saying I needed to call back since the get together was starting at noon.  I was thinking great I guess they wanted to be there at noon as well.    But we compromised and agreed to meet at the Church at 12:30 PM instead of 11:30.

So as soon as I'm done with this post, I need to do some baking.  I have a zucchini that I will use to make a zucchini bread.    I made one last weekend that was so good.    The get together is a potluck so that'll be my contribution.

In dedication to my fall, I'll leave you with one of my favorite Mya songs...Fallen.

And as a bonus, let's add some Alicia Keys to the mix.   

Let's hope that falling is not my new norm anytime soon.

Two Odds Making It Even

 At the Church I attend there are two folks with odd behaviors that crossed paths and have coupled up.   I wasn't there when hints of their relationship first became apparent but thanks to COVID and the church's decision to continue "Facebook Live-ing" services long after the pandemic (5 years and counting...uggh), I got to witness the hints during a rewatch of a service.

Before I get to that moment though here's a brief snippet about each individual.   Norbit is the name of the first guy.   I believe he first came to the Church sometime in 2018 or 2019.   I can't remember exactly.   But Norbit has the habit of talking and talking and talking and not knowing when to stop.   At the time Dom and I were both actively coming into the Church together.   Hemingway poor Norbit kept wanting to hang out with Dom and I outside of Church and neither of us had the heart to tell him no.   Dom quickly threw me under the bus telling Norbit to get my number.  I reluctantly gave him my number but kept making excuses for not hanging out.   I felt bad but did not want to be forced into a situation I wanted no part of.   It took him awhile but he finally got the hint.   He also stopped coming to services regularly once he got a job at Menard's.

Theron is the name of guy #2.  He first appeared at Church around June 2024 at the Church's Pride Picnic event.   I remember he seemed pretty nice but had a tendency to overshare on things.    As it turned out, he had experience playing piano and there hasn't been a steady piano player since Dom stepped away from playing full-time after over 10 years being the main music man.    We did hire another guy a year or so after Dom stopped playing but he unfortunately did not work out and there was a vacancy for several more years that was filled with random muzak from Youtube that I as a choir member had to adjust to singing too.   Originally when Dom was playing piano there were three other regular choir members who one by one stepped away until only I remained.   Our good Rev inserted himself into the choir just before the third member left.   He tends to sing very loudly and is not that great.  Plus he selects the music and comes up with the oddest selections which I have to struggle to figure out live.    But back to Theron.

Theron offered to play for free on Sundays.   He does okay though we've gotten used to singing fast with Dom's playing.   Theron plays a lot slower.

So as I said I did not attend service the week Norbit came back to the Church.   Actually a month prior to that he appeared as well and I happen to not be at service that week.   But the week in question I couldn't help but notice that Norbit parked himself in the front row near the piano.   Theron sits in the front row as well whenever a muzak selection is playing or during Rev's sermon.   In the video I saw that Theron reached out to hug Norbit.   But Norbit didn't seem that receptive.

So the week after that I also didn't attend for whatever reason (I may have hooked up with Anthony that time).  I watched the playback later and Norbit wasn't there that week.   During the weekly "news to share" segment, Theron spoke up.   He basically was saying how much he enjoyed meeting Norbit and was looking forward to seeing him again.  That was when I realized something was brewing there and I remember Rev being at a loss of words initially on how to summarize what was said before calling for the next person to give their "news to share".

After that the two of them have been inseparable and have stated they've been at each other's homes.   They're an unexpected odd couple.    I have to say though I am glad that they found each other.   There truly is somebody out there for everybody.    I think the crazy tendencies the two have play well off each other.

During our board meeting, the Rev mentioned that Theron was asking for some money now for playing.   Part of me was wondering if Norbit put that idea in his head.   Besides he needs some spending money to date Norbit.   I don't know if Theron has another job or not.   But nonetheless it'll be interesting to see where things go with them.   Hopefully they don't drive each other crazy with their individual craziness.   

But at the end of the day, it's none of my concern.   I remember when Dom and I started dating how annoying some folks were getting when they were wondering where Dom and I were heading.   Some wanted to put the cart before the horse.   There were some that tried to plot against us.   But things wound up working out for us.

I wish Norbit and Theron well.

Ending It All

 Another Christmas Holiday has come and gone.   I spent my holiday in Detroit and stayed with Trina and Donovan who are continuing to work through their issues.    Things seemed a bit better than my last visit.  Tasha came over on Christmas and Donovan bought his Mom over to spend time as well.   

While there Donovan bought up the question on whether you would still want to be living if you ended up terminally ill and not able to live a normal life.   Basically you are bed ridden and need to rely on other folks.   My sisters and I of course experienced it close hand with our parents needing to rely on us more and more.

Donovan proclaimed that he would rather be put out of his misery.   My sisters and I were of course on the fence.  Tasha and I didn't respond but rather contemplating the situation.   Trina said that if there was a chance for recovery she'd want to fight to live so that would include being bed ridden.    Donovan of course blurted that the three of us would probably want to remain bed ridden.

It's definitely a complex topic.   Our Catholic upbringing taught us that it's a sin to end your own life no matter the circumstances.   It is believed that life belongs to God and it's up to God when it's time for it to be over.   But it's a tough situation to be in where you're no longer able to do things for yourself and have to depend on other folks to take care of you.

I only need to look at Dom who used to enjoy walking and used to walk pretty quickly when navigating through the streets.    In the last year and a half I've witnessed him slowing down considerably.   He is able to walk though he occasionally needs his cane and has to take his time going up and down the stairs.  It makes him feel frustrated.   Thankfully though he can still function so he's not at the point of our discussion.

It does though give a taste of what else may come in the future.   Losing the ability to move around easily is depressing itself.   Imagine not being able to move or even use the bathroom on your own.   Imagine being in constant pain.  That has to be a horrible feeling.

I remember Mama feeling horrible during the initial parts of her hospice when she needed us to clean her porta potty.   To try and appease her I told her that she did it for my sisters and I when we were little so we were returning the favor.    She also resisted having a home care assistant come over but had to relent to that as well.   It is sad how we start out dependent on our parents to take care of us, then we become independent able to do things ourselves, only to have our lives end as we started.

I imagine I would feel the same way that Mama felt.   The question is just would I accept my fate and let nature take its course until I die or do I choose to end things sooner.   Whatever the answer is, it's a personal choice that all of us if we live long enough will have to make.   

It's a sad thought to end the year in.  It reminds me that I do need to appreciate the good and even the bad things that happen in life.   With each breath we have the chance to change the course of our lives hopefully for the better.   I do hope with the New Year soon coming that I continue to work on my personal goals of paying off our mortgage and becoming more financially independent.   I also hope that I continue to hang on to my job which has helped me in paying off my credit card debt and also making some investments that I pray will yield fruit.

I'll probably end the year hanging out with Eugene and his friend in downtown Chicago.   I wasn't able to do so the last couple years.   I will say that I would rather spend my New Year's Eve at home and not dealing with people.   I especially didn't feel up to it the year Mama died.    But in the end I'm glad Eugene convinced me to head out and it'll probably do me some good.   Actually his friend wound up moving to downtown Chicago so I need to make more of an effort to hang with him.    He and I bonded over discussing some of Eugene's less than stellar characteristics like his not wanting to admit being wrong about anything.   

The only thing stopping me is that I'm starting to get the same cold that Dom's been suffering with for a couple weeks.   I managed to fight it off before going to Detroit by gargling with salt water but since I've been back it's been coming full force.   I think the house is full of germs in the air.   I need to pick up a can of Lysol to spray around the house and try to kill some of these germs.   Fun times...LOL.

End Of An Era

 Well I did it.  I successfully obtained the Salesforce Business Analyst cert on my 3rd attempt last weekend.   I was nervous as hell taking it but I felt more at ease as I answered the questions, feeling very confident in my choices.  Still when it came time to submit the test I was a twinge of nerves.   I pushed the button, closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I saw the four letters I longed to see.   PASS!   I was so elated and screamed for joy when I got inside my car.   The minimum passing percentage was 72%.  I got 85%.   Woo hoo!

So now that I have the certification I can begin my search for a Salesforce business analyst role.   I know it won't be easy as I hate interviewing and it took me 40 months to get my current role.    But whatever happens I'll take it in stride.   Interestingly enough my manager spoke to me briefly Friday about a potential new opportunity to specialize in a particular role within Support.  I don't know much about the details but will have to see what it entails.   It would be nice if it means I can reduce my case load but I'm sure that won't be the case.    I'm also in line to get a merit increase of 5% - 6% which will definitely be put to good use.

In other news, I received sad news from Tasha a few days ago.   Our family Pastor who served over 60 years in the Archdiocese of Detroit and was the principal priest at our Church for over 50 years, died on 02/26.   He was 92 years old, the same age my Dad was when he passed.

Our Pastor wed my parents, baptized my sisters and I, and presided over the funeral services of both of my parents.   He's done the same for many others in the community and no doubt his passing will leave a great void within the Church.

I have my own memories of him during my formative years when I worked with my Dad at our Church.  I remember there was one time when he and I went to deliver supplies to a local food bank.  This random kid around my age came up to me and asked if my Pastor was my father.   I was taken aback and I remember looking at our Pastor who gave me a smile.   I told the kid no but I felt guilty about it afterwards.   Technically he wasn't but he was our spiritual father.

I have other memories of helping him and his secretary write up some basic code to print out some letters.   Of course I remember him preaching every Sunday when the family went to Church and my time serving on the altar, first as an altar boy and then as a Minister of Service up until my mid-20's.

The funniest memory I have of him was when there was a group of us including him went up to Mackinac Island for the weekend.   I was 12 or 13 at the time and traveled by bus with my Grandma (who was really my Dad's cousin) and around 30-40 other folks.   So when it came time to decide where to sleep, it was decided that my Grandma along with another group of ladies would stay in one building.   There were several small cabins where we stayed and it was decided that I would room with our Pastor.   

So there was only one small bed in the room.  He offered up the bed to me and slept on the floor.   That was how selfless he was.  So we had to share one blanket and at some point during the night, he pulled the majority of the blanket towards him.   Later that night I must've been dreaming of home and being awaken to get ready for school.    I yelled out to Mama that I was getting up and coming to the kitchen.   I quickly woke up and didn't know if I said it out loud or not.    

Later that morning I told the Pastor that he was hogging all the covers that night.   Without missing a beat he countered back that he was awaken by me talking in my sleep.   I was so mortified at the time but it made for a funny memory soon afterwards.

Since our Pastor had such a huge impact on the community, they are allowing three days for folks to view his body before the final service on 03/10.    I was thinking of going to the service but then Tasha pointed out that there would likely be a huge crowd (including media).   So instead my sisters and I will go Friday to view his body.    As it is they plan to livestream the viewing for all three days.

I couldn't help but notice that it was just a little over six months after my Dad passed that our Pastor died.    They were born almost 12 months apart with my Dad being the older of the two.   With the passing of our Pastor, two influential men that shaped my formative years growing up are now on the other side.   It truly is an end of an era.

It'll be interesting to see what happens with the Church in the coming weeks and months.  The Church always had been controversial in the Catholic community since our Pastor allowed women to serve on the altar which at the time was a big no-no.   Also within the Church, the board of the Church tended to clash at times.   So I am curious to see who will attempt to fill our Pastor shoes.   Time will tell.