A few years ago I decided to add Dom as an authorized user of one of my credit cards. I originally did so because there was a conference in Indianapolis that he wanted to go to for his hobby but since he would arrive a couple days before I did, he needed to book the hotel room in his name.
Dom has no credit card of his own and isn't the greatest manager of finances. I wasn't sure adding him as an authorized user was such a great idea. But I couldn't think of anything else I could do for him to be able to check-in to the hotel since I wasn't arriving till later. I wasn't able to go with him since he was driving to Indy a few days before and I was working on those days. The added benefit would be that assuming the card was kept current, it would help improve Dom's credit score.
So that's when I decided to add him as an authorized user. He was able to check-in for the hotel since the charge was in his name. All was right in the world. Or was it?
A few months after that conference when looking at my credit card's bill, I noticed that he would make additional purchases with the card on other doll stuff which would total in excess sometimes of over $500. He would never have the money to pay for these purchases so I would have to pay for them.
He would keep telling me, "please get after me to pay for this stuff". But instead of budgeting for a plan to pay on things, his next paycheck would be spent on buying other doll items.
When he would make these additional purchases, he would never bother to discuss them with me. I would just get the surprise reveal of the purchase when checking my statement.
These surprises would keep showing up periodically throughout the years. He would once in a blue moon give me $100 here or $200 there which was all he could afford because he would spend the rest on other doll items he had to have. He would of course periodically buy groceries with his money as well but the majority of it was spent on his hobby.
I would get very pissed when seeing the bill but eventually I would wind up paying it. It's either that or ruin my credit as well. But I've finally realized that my covering the expense was continuing to enable him to make these purchases. He has no financial sense at all to say hey maybe I should pay for the stuff I purchased already instead of buying more stuff.
The beginning of the last straw came last month when I saw a $1700 purchase just before Thanksgiving for more stupid dolls from an enabler that he constantly complains about yet still does business with. This was on top of a $400 charge he made due to an issue with his car (which was needed of course) but couldn't have happened at a worse time.
He again said keep after him to give me money to pay for the bill since he didn't want me having to purchase his items. The joke was on me though since I have been paying for his items for years. I myself reached the $3000 limit on my own purchases that I've made with separate cards. I have been making every effort to pay off my cards every month especially after finally paying off all my debt. But I wasn't able to pay it all off and cover my cards. So I wound up paying half of that card and telling myself I would pay the rest of it this month assuming no more purchases. This particular card that I made him authorized user is one that I do not use and only have a $10 recurring charge for a stupid membership to a gay site that I needed to cancel yesterday...LOL.
But alas the last straw came. There were two more purchases from him on more doll stuff costing $600 more dollars. I found this out while in Boston visiting Eugene and deciding to check on my statements. Like all the other purchases before, he chose not to discuss it with me. I was upset but had to keep my feelings in check as I did not want Eugene to know. I've discussed Dom's lack of financial control before and didn't feel like rehashing as Eugene would give tough love of what I needed to do.
But I knew what I had to do. The only way to try to curtail the spending would be to remove him as an authorized user. This would effectively make his card null and void. I did the deed but I do not plan on telling him that I did. He will tell me himself when he tries to use it once more.
I hate doing this but it's for his own good. His spending on his hobby has gotten out of control. I have to be responsible for all the other household bills. The only other bills he pays for is occasional groceries. He doesn't even pay his hospital bills and I haven't either.
He keeps talking about selling his dolls to try to get money but he never does. Ironically I recently found out my part-time lover Anthony is also a lover of dolls. He visited our house in early November and was in awe with the wall to floor dolls that Dom has spread in every room in the house except the kitchen and bathroom. He said if Dom was ever interested in selling some, he'd be game. So I may have to introduce them so he'll have someone he can sell stuff too. I admit this revelation from Anthony annoyed then amused me. Oh and he's also a school teacher though he's retired.
I sure do have a type when it comes to guys...LOL.