Rhona's New Chapter

My favorite group En Vogue continues to make waves in the news.   Earlier in the year, original member Maxine Jones returned to the group to make EV a foursome once more.   Not long after that, original member Dawn Robinson made news for announcing that she was living in her car by choice.  Now Rhona Bennett, who joined En Vogue in 2003 and has been a staple in the group for over 20 years, announced on November 13th that she is departing En Vogue.   

I was totally shocked when the message popped up on my feed.   As I looked further into it, I found out that En Vogue performed with Salt & Pepa & Spinderella (that group has had it own drama but they looked to have worked it out) where the latter were being honored at the Rock & Hall Hall of Fame as one of their 2025 inductees.   Notably absent in the performance was Rhona.

It turns out according to Rhona that she found out about the performance at the same time as the general public.   She had a prior commitment that was happening on the same evening as the performance which took place on November 8th.    She stated in her announcement post that "It could’ve been nice to attend had [she] been given the opportunity to adjust [her] schedule."

She kept her announcement classy as she generically thanked EV for the opportunity to join the group.   I could tell she was just being polite since she didn't mention the members individually by name.  One of the things I noted when the group was on their European tour was that I felt like Rhona was being marginalized and regulated into the background since Max returned.   Thanks to a fan on Youtube I was able to see their performances.   They sang one of their songs Whatever off their EV3 album which was one that they haven't performed in years.   The song has two verses that are split.   On the album, Cindy sings the first half of verse 1 and Max sings the second half.     Terry sings the first half of verse 2 and Cindy again sings the second half of verse 2.   The assumption was that had Dawn not left the group, she would've sang the second half of verse 2 instead of Cindy.    So since they are a foursome now, I thought it would've been a nice gesture if each singer had a part to sing.    But they chose to sing parts like the album, which in one respect stays true to the album, but on the other end, it marginalizes Rhona who is more than capable of singing.   The argument could be made that maybe they were lip-synching and had to keep it to how the album had it.

I can't help but wonder with Max being back in the group, things became extra awkward for Rhona.  I felt for her even before Max came back when they would do interviews and everything would be on their early years which Rhona was not a part of.    She would be a deer in headlights as Cindy and Terry would speak on those times.   She was always referred to as the "new member" even after she had been there for more than a decade.

En Vogue purists would always lament that they wanted Max and Dawn back with the group.   Dawn actually was my favorite member in their hey-day.    I honestly did think that Max and Dawn were the soul of the group and their departures hurt the group overall.    But at the same time I loved what Rhona bought to the group.   She had her own spin on various songs when given the chance.   In the early times when Rhona joined, it felt like Cindy and Terry were hogging all the parts and only giving Rhona scraps to sing.

Sadly En Vogue never had another hit after Max left.   They tried with Rocket off their second studio album with Rhona.    It did hit #8 on the Billboard Adult R&B Songs chart but it wasn't a smash like their earlier songs in the 90's.

I was disappointed to hear about the drama behind the scenes and feel like Cindy, Max, and Terry did Rhona dirty by not telling her about the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame event.   I imagine that may have been the final straw that pushed Rhona to make her decision to say deuces to En Vogue.    It will be interesting to see if En Vogue gives a statement on the departure.   It's not a good look for them.   The ladies are in their 60's and they still seem like a bunch of mean girls.   Unfortunately though, age does not necessarily bring wisdom.

Rhona did announce that she has a new song that is coming out just before the holidays called “It’s Christmas Time (For You and I),”.  I look forward to supporting that when it comes out.   I also hope she releases another solo album.    Her first and only self-titled album had a lot of great songs.   Unfortunately the label she was on folded shortly afterwards so there was no promotion of it.   She also has a presence on Youtube so look forward to seeing more of her there.   I hope that she blows up to super stardom.    That would be the ultimate revenge.

Lost Stories

 Dom and I had an interesting discussion earlier.   It came out during a discussion of why I always have cold hands and feet.   When the weather changes for the cold, I find my extremities to get cold even when I have socks and gloves on.    Dom is the opposite and always is hot.    So you can guess I find myself seeking Dom's warmth much to his annoyance.   But Dom being my source of heat is in our marriage contract...LOL.

One of the theories Dom shared with me was that since my family is from the "islands", Guadeloupe to be exact, where it's tropical, having cold hands and feet could've been a mechanism of cooling off.   I realized with mentioning my country of origin that I've never ever mentioned it before in any of my blog entries from either this blog or my original one.   Well, except for a story of a cousin that visited the family almost a decade back.    I just said she came from overseas.

Part of why I didn't mention it could be that I was born in Detroit and only visited Guadeloupe two or three times growing up.    So for me Detroit was home.    It was second home of course for my Mom and Dad.

So Dom and I talked about how Papa came into Detroit in 1957 to stay with his Uncle and Aunt.   His Aunt was by blood and was his Mother's (my paternal Grandmother) sister.   I know Papa's uncle as "Uncle".   Dom asked me how Papa's Uncle and Aunt came into Detroit.    It was only then that I realized that I had no idea.    Can you believe I don't recall ever asking Papa about it?

I only remembered the stories Papa told about how "Uncle" was miserly with his money and how he was protective of his possessions.   The most infamous story was how Papa needed to borrow Uncle's encyclopedia set for something he needed to do research on.   He recalled how he didn't return some of the books right away and how upset his Uncle was.   After returning it, one of the first things my Dad did when he got a job was save up to buy his own encyclopedia set from World Book.    The set was from 1960.   I knew this because when we were in school we used that same set for book reports.   And yes this was in the mid to late 80's so a lot of the information was over 20 years old and a lot of it obsolete.

But I remember how proud Papa said he felt when he got his own set.   It was a form of independence from Uncle.   

Papa's Aunt died less than two years after Papa came to Detroit which left him devastated.   It seemed that Uncle and Papa's relationship was a tumultuous one.   I wonder if losing his Aunt played into that.

The only other story I remembered was how Uncle didn't trust banks and kept most of his cash in his mattress.    There was even a story of how Uncle could've bought IBM stock and had he done so, perhaps they could've gained some wealth when the stock really started appreciated.    Speaking of which I never knew that IBM originated from another company called CTR (Computing-Tabulating-Recording Company).   The name was changed to what it's known as today in 1926.   Interestingly enough I've been trading stocks for a number of years now myself (though I'm not really good at it...LOL).

Who I knew as "Grandma" was the daughter of Uncle and Aunt.    I never knew Uncle since he died in 1977 when I was 5 years old.   I only remembered him through the stories.   Grandma also had a husband who passed away in 1978 and they did not have any children.

So I never knew Uncle's story.   Was he even from "the islands" or was he actually American?  What was his family life like?   I feel bad that I never asked Papa about his Uncle's history.   I asked Tasha and Trina and they didn't know either.    Sadly a part of family history is lost forever though perhaps it may be revealed on the other side of life.    Who knows?   If I do I won't be able to tell yall...LOL.

I can only guess there must've been some opportunity that led his Uncle to Detroit.  A lot of times folks move for opportunities.   That's why I moved to Maryland for a brief spell and ultimately Chicagoland.  So it was probably the same for Uncle.

Work's Unsung Hero

 In my job I am responsible for putting customer fires out on the daily.   Since I'm part of the Severity 1 team, some of those customers have been international ones from France, the UK, and Asia Pacific, among others.   When I get those cases, the customer usually sends them during the end of their work shift so I'm not always able to connect with them.

If I'm not able to connect with them and they didn't provide a way for me to access their system or enough information about the issue, I'm limited on what can be done.  You would be surprised by the number of cases received that just says the bare minimum with absolutely no details.   The description just says for example, "this is not working".   

In those situations we are responsible for meeting the SLA, or Service Level Agreement.   The SLA simply is the contract between the service provider (my company) and the consumer which defines the expected level of service in the event issues arise.

When we receive Severity 1 cases from those customers who pay for premium service, the service provider is expected to send out an initial response within the hour.   There are automation processes in place that will send you a warning message, if you have less than 30 minutes to respond.    You'll even get a human who will message you and say that you're in danger of not meeting the SLA.    Those messages are always so annoying especially if I'm in the middle of reviewing the issue.   Incidentally if that's the only job those folks have, where do I sign up?  *LOL*.

There are times when it takes time for the case to be assigned and when you receive it, you have less than 20 minutes to meet the SLA.   That's when you have to quickly give a generic response before time runs out.

Once the SLA is met, there's pretty much nothing else you can do for that particular case.   There are plenty of other fires from U.S. customers to keep me busy.    Near the end of my shift, for those cases, I would fill out a template with what little details I received, and then transfer the case to our general queue and directly route it to my European or Asian Pacific or India counterparts.

There are situations though where we are able to reach the international customer and obtain details.   I even had a case this past week, where the International customer opened the Severity 1 case near the end of the day and left excellent details about their issue.   They also gave me access to their system to investigate.   They weren't available to chat but I had what I needed.

I was able to immediately narrow down on the issue but I still needed time to verify that the issue indeed was what I suspected.   This involved testing the scenario in my personal work org.  I also had other fires to put out as well throughout the day.

I finally had some time about an hour before my shift ended.   I was able to confirm my first instincts were correct.    But since the customer was International, I had to decide whether to keep the case in my queue or transfer it to the customer's time zone.    I was certain that I figured out the issue but I felt like the customer may have had additional questions and if they responded on the case and I wasn't available (because it was outside my shift), it would sit there all day during their shift without a response (unless the customer escalated the case, which would be a bad thing).    Best case scenario, the customer would close out the ticket or give permission to close.  

I decided to transfer the case.  I checked on the ticket the next day and the customer did indeed respond that it was fine to close which the current assigned engineer did.   We receive credit on cases when they are closed.   Whoever is the case owner at time of close gets the credit.    Since I didn't own the case anymore, I didn't receive credit even though I was the one that resolved the issue.

During those times I feel like an unsung hero.   I lamented about it briefly to my co-worker Alvin who could relate.  He and I have definitely made a positive connection even though he's in Indianapolis.  He's become someone that I can trust for sure.   

On the flipside I've had some international cases where I was completely stumped and was so happy to pass those off and not have to deal with them anymore.   It's all part of the game.

Make It Last Forever

 

Keith Sweat w/ Jacci McGhee - Make It Last Forever

INTRO

Make It Last
Make It Last Forever (Ever)
Darling I Love You (Ooh Ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh, Oh)
Let's Make It Last (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Let's Make It Last Forever And Ever
Don't Let Our Love End (Don't Let Our Love End)
Mmm

VERSE 1:

Let Me Hear You Tell Me You Love Me
Let Me Hear You Say You'll Never Leave Me
Ooh Girl, That Will Make Me Feel So Right
Let Me Hear You Tell Me You Want Me
Let Me Hear You Say You'll Never Leave Me Baby
Until The Morning Light (I)

Let Me Tell You How Much I Love You
Let Me Tell You That I Really Need You
Baby, baby, baby, I Will Make It All Right
No One But You, Baby
Can Make Me Feel
The Way You Make Me, Make Me, Make Me Feel

CHORUS:

Woah-Oh-Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh
Mmm, mmm, mmm
Don't Let Our Love End (Don't)
Just Make It Last Forever (Oh, Make It Last) And Ever (Forever)

BRIDGE:

Your Touch Is Wonderful
Your Love Is Marvelous
Joy, That's What I Feel
When I'm With You
Nothing, No One (No One Boy)
Could Compare To What We Have (Oh, My Baby)
Love, It Feels So Good
I'm So Glad You're Mine

I wasn't the biggest fan of Make It Last Forever.   It wound up being the prom song for my high school prom that I never attended.   Wait a minute, I'm lying.   I think Make It Last Forever was my sister Tasha's prom song.   She did go to her prom.   My prom's theme song was Here and Now by Luther Vandross.   That song still hasn't warmed up to me.

But Make It Last Forever actually is the jam.   And in recent years I've found myself playing it more and more.   It actually is a lovely song that is written from the viewpoints of two lovers who want their love to last forever.

Of course nothing is forever.   I was reminded of that when knowing today is the 6th anniversary of my Mom's passing.   It's crazy that so much time has passed.   There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my Mom and wishing I could talk to her one more time.

I keep replaying the last few months of her life.   I freshly remember when she called me while I was on the road making my way to Amazon one Saturday morning.   I was at that time working at an Amazon Warehouse that was 90 minutes away from home.

She was calling to tell me not to spend any more money on alternative meds to take because she was done fighting to live and was accepting that she was going die.  I had sent her some Essiac liquid as a possible option.  I've seen stories and testimonies on how it helped individuals conquer various forms of cancer.   I thought it would be something that might help.   I wasn't ready to lose my Mom yet.

But in true Mom fashion after dropping that bombshell, she refused to give me a chance to react and talk her out of it.   She instead said that she had to go do something else and promptly hung up.   I was so upset at the news and she told me it while I was driving on the tollway.    I immediately called Dom to vent and he thought I crashed the car.

Mama had the habit of throwing little bombshells when calling and then wanting to excuse herself.  I always hated that and this time it was no exception.

I later had moments when I was mad at Mom for giving up.   But I later realized that my Mom had been fighting for a long time.   She was first diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 1999 and was suffering from it years before without having any idea what was happening.

She went through a few more trials and turbulations over the years and when she was diagnosed with uterine cancer in 2018, it was the beginning of the end.   She had the surgery to remove her uterus but unfortunately the cancer had spread to her spine and caused her pain.   

When the doctors said her form of cancer was aggressive, they also said she only had months to live.   I was there in the hospital room when she was given the news.    I was doing my best to calm Papa who was upset obviously.   Tasha was discussing the diagnosis and options with the doctor.

I wasn't ready to accept the doctor's diagnosis but after processing my anger, I realized that Mama had fought a long time and she was ready for the pain to go away.    We all have an expiration date and there may be a point of time when someone just knows.   She knew her time was running out.   She made sure to let us all know that she loved us all.

The day before she died, I remember I was giving her a warm rag with water that she put on her forehead.   There was a moment where I accidentally had the rag with cooler water.   She squealed when she touched it and we exchanged a brief laugh as I apologized.   She told me that she loved me and I said the same.   

Hours later my Mom went into another world.   She was moaning continuously and wouldn't stop no matter what I did.   Tasha came over that evening to check in on her.    Seeing Mama's state, she couldn't stay and wound up leaving the apartment.   Papa joined her in bed a little bit later.   I wound up settling in for the night in an easy chair they had outside of their bedroom.

I couldn't really sleep that night.  I woke up several times during the night to check in on my parents.   Papa was fast asleep and Mama was continuing to moan.   There was nothing I could do and that was frustrating.  I wrote notes on the journal that our caretaker suggested we have to keep a tally of Mama's condition.

The next morning Mama was still in the same state.   Her caregiver came to help clean Mama.   Mama was still moaning and was not aware that we were in the room.   For the first time I started crying as I helped the caretaker move Mom around.   With one hand I cradled my Mom's neck to position it straight, which was protruding sideways.  

We were done cleaning her up.    The caretaker told me that Mama was actively dying.   The process can take anywhere from days to weeks.   As we were talking, Mom suddenly gasped as she briefly lifted herself up before she fell back down.    We both called out for her but she didn't say anything.   I didn't realize it then but my Mom took her final breath before being called home.

My Mom's eyes were wide open.  I was petrified at the time and couldn't touch her.   I feel ashamed that I froze.  The caretaker wound up passing her fingers on my Mom's eyelids to close them and then she wrapped a towel to close my Mom's open mouth.

We gave the news to Papa who was in the next room.   He was crying.  I was still crying.  I texted Tasha and Trina to let them know.   In my haste I called 911 not realizing that I was supposed to call hospice.   EMS came and of course couldn't take my Mom because she died and had to have hospice and coroner declare it.

It was a crazy day.  I was originally supposed to leave for home that morning but was not going to leave that day.   I stayed the night and left the next day.   Unfortunately Amazon didn't have much in terms of bereavement leave and I knew I would still have to work.

It just so happened that I was starting work at a new facility that I relocated to with a different shift.  So I had to do training and keep my grief at bay.   It was the same thing until I was able to take two more days off to attend the funeral.

I wish I could Make It Last Forever and have my parents still around.   But alas the cycle of life is that nothing lasts forever.   Not the good times or the bad times.  Time just marches on.

As hard as it was, I'm glad I was there to say my goodbyes to Mama.   I do hope I get to see Mama and Papa again one day.   I will light a candle for each of them this weekend for All Souls Day.   It's a tradition that I learned from Mama when she did it for her Dad, my Grandpa.    It's my tradition now that I do until I can do it no more.

Latest Lifefront

 One of the senior members of our Church made the suggestion in September to have a monthly birthday celebration for all the birthdays that are taking place for the month.    The folks who had the birthday would be responsible for bringing a cake.    When I heard this I silently balked since I knew my birthday month was coming next.   Another new member volunteered to bring cupcakes for October so at least that was covered.

I honestly don't like to be made the center of attention even for a brief minute.   The most I like doing for my birthday is taking time off for work (always felt I shouldn't work on my birthday with the only exception being when I worked at Amazon since I needed whatever crumbs I could get) and traveling somewhere.   I normally do like to venture out somewhere but this year I chose not to.   It's a good thing too since the air traffic controller shortages that have been happening under Orange's administration.   I did take off from the 15th - 17th.

I do want to go to the Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL for my birthday.   Since Dom isn't working and I know he has a love for Japanese culture, I thought it would be a good day trip for us.   Plus it would be nice for us to do something together.    The facility opens from 9am to 6pm daily and it would take us 2 hours to get there so we probably want to leave as early as possible.   Dom also wanted to see the new movie adaptation of Kiss Of the Spider Woman.   I had no clue that Jennifer Lopez was in it.    It should be interesting to see how it is.   Maybe we can do that Thursday or Friday.

So this past Sunday was when the October birthdays were being celebrated.    I was reminded last week from the same senior member that my presence was required.    As part of the Church board, our meeting was also being held at the Church as well.   So I opted to go after the service.   I'm so bad.

Of course since Dom and I are a package deal, I was asked about Dom's recent interview.   Unfortunately Dom is having to deal with ageism.    He mentioned that the interviewer was dry and disengaging the whole time.    I feel that the interviewer didn't like that Dom was walking in with a cane and immediately dismissed him from consideration.

It's so frustrating.   There's so many things we have to deal with when it comes to interviewing.   Unfortunately a lot of different biases come into play.   The interviewer made assumptions about Dom, not taking into account Dom's previous experiences.   It's sad that due to that person's preconceived biases they missed out on a great employee.

I feel like at this point Dom needs to reach out to his previous employer and get them to put him in as a substitute.    He tried applying for unemployment and as I expected, the previous employer declined it and claimed that Dom resigned which he didn't.    But I'm thinking Dom is getting a bit tired of dealing with the bull.   He's 61 now and if he waits till next June, he can hopefully collect on Social Security.

I just wish he would slow up on the hobby spending since he has no income coming in.   He did finally try to put some of his dolls on sale but he did it through his personal Facebook site.    He has not had any biters unfortunately so he needs to place his items on Ebay to hopefully get them sold.    

I hope I can hang on somehow to my job and not get sick.   On that front I'm in the process of trying to get a living trust done.    Dom always says that he wants to be the one to die first but life doesn't always go as you plan and I remind him that I could be the one that dies first.     If that happens I don't want Dom to lose the house because I didn't plan properly.    I've heard too many stories especially in the gay world where if the main breadwinner passes, the surviving partner is thrown to the wolves and loses the home, especially with family members taking over.    I'm fortunate in that I feel my sisters would not throw Dom out but I need to get things ready.   I also have other assets that need to be divided.   Fun times.

Mortgage Milestone

 My quest for financial independence took a positive turn this morning.   I forgot about a work bonus that is typically paid twice a year that came at the end of September.   Thanks to that bonus I was able to use most of it to get my mortgage down to an even $10,000.    I wanted to etch an extra hundred to break the 5-figure mark but of course Dom had hobby stuff that stood in the way.   Sigh.   But nonetheless I recognize that we're very fortunate to be close to paying it off completely.   My pay-off amount at least is in the four figures as of today.    If only I had an extra $7600 hiding somewhere.    

I took care of a household issue that I put off for a few months.   I had our regular plumber come over to fix a leaky strainer in the kitchen sink.   That was a $190 hit.   Dom thought it was a bit high.   But given how the cost of everything has gone up, I realized that gone are the days you can get things fixed for $50 or even under $100.

So I have to get our garage fixed yet again.    For years we had the issue where the garage will not close all the way but rather reopen and then we have to struggle to get it to close.   I had it adjusted twice before but I was told that the issue is that garage itself is shifting in one direction which is affecting the door function.   A more long term fix is to adjust the door so that the sensors will pick them up properly.   But doing that would leave a gap on the right hand side of the door.   I wasn't keen on doing that and they made adjustments to the settings to get the door to close.   But the issue keeps returning months later so now I'm ready to try the long-term fix.   I bought a floor strip for the garage that I'm hoping will help cover some of the gap.    But we'll see.   I need to get it fixed before the weather changes for the colder so will have to work on that this month.

In other news Dom had an interview for a teaching position yesterday at a Gary charter school.   It isn't a math role but rather an elective teaching role on career and college preparation.    He said the interviewer was boring and he wasn't sure if he made a connection with him or not.    When Dom has interviewed in the past, he's had it where the staff reaches back to him within an hour after the interview and offered the job.   That didn't happen here but I'm hoping he'll hear something soon.   

He ran into a former colleague that is working security at the school.   He described him as resembling the actor D.B. Woodside when he played Amenadiel on Lucifer.   They bonded over their hate for the same member of the admin team.   Apparently that member screwed Amenadiel over as well.  

Maybe Amenadiel can put in a good word for Dom if the principal asks.   We shall see I guess.

The last time Dom was unemployed was in 2010.   Prior to losing his job, he had already paid for registration to one of his first doll conferences.    He said his parents helped him get a plane ticket to the event.   I found an old tattered sign that he put on his display table back then when he was selling a few dolls.   It looks so sad and sweet at the same time I wanted to share it.

We all have our crosses to bear in life but we find a way to get through and ideally in a better place.  That's life in a nutshell.   As long as we're breathing we have more opportunities to navigate through what gets thrown.   Dom and I are both pushing along. 

Brother Clay Cane

 Back in the mid-2000's when I first starting blogging at my original blogspot, I discovered over time a community of folks who had their own blogs and occasionally chimed in with feedback and sometimes tough love on my blog depending on the topic.    When I started blogging again a few years back, I often wondered what happened to my fellow bloggers and hoping they all are living their best lives.   

I recently rediscovered none other than Clay Cane on Youtube.    I knew from his blogspot (which actually I need to get invited again...LOL) that he was a prolific writer and political activist that was already making moves.    It's so cool to see him doing his thing on Youtube and he's speaking the truth on a lot of topics.   I don't have SiriusXM so I'm not able to listen to him live or call in so it's good he adds them on Youtube as well.    And he's also an author as well and has an upcoming novel titled "Burn Down Master's House" that's coming out in late January 2026.   I will definitely have to check that out.   I also looked him up on LinkedIn and can see that he has a profile there.   I sent him a connection request so I'll see if he responds.   In the meantime here are a few of his videos.

First one I'm sharing is his most recent (as of this blog entry date) where he and his co-host Reecie Colbert talk about ICE's attack on a black Southside neighborhood apartment.   From reports that I've seen, they took everyone out of that apartment and kept them in custody for several hours.   It's crazy how they are using immigration to violate human rights.   They didn't care if a person was a U.S. Citizen or not when they removed everyone.    Not only that but the way they did it, rappelling from helicopters and breaking windows and doors to get into apartments.   There were children living in the apartments and I can't imagine the trauma they'll have to deal with thinking that they don't have a safe space.   Of course Orange's administration doesn't care about that one bit.

The next video I'm sharing is one where Clay Cane with co-host Ted Winn talked with legendary R&B singer Teena Marie's daughter Alia Rose who is an artist as well.    We got to hear stories about Teena Marie from Alia's perspective.    She also mentioned an upcoming biopic that's she involved in that tells her Mom's story.

Finally here's Clay's video about former The Biggest Loser loser trainer Jillian Michaels and the gall about her recent comments relating to slavery and how it wasn't so bad for black folks and that less than 2% of whites owned slaves.   I watched Netflix's documentary on The Biggest Loser and was reminded of what a piece of work she and Bobby Harper were to the folks that participated on the show.    Like everything else on TV, it was all about the money.   The show went on for 18 Seasons and spawned other versions of the show internationally.

So Hemingway it was nice seeing that Clay is doing well and I wish him continued success.