Sisterly Ties

 My visit to Detroit was interesting and wound up having some drama.   I reached out privately to Trina to confirm that I could stay with her while in Detroit.   I had wanted to stay with her on Thanksgiving but she mentioned that Donovan's Mom was staying over and that I could share a bed with her.   I wasn't sure if she was joking or not but I wasn't comfortable with that so I booked a hotel instead.   

So Trina confirmed that I could stay there.   I wound up traveling on Christmas Day.   I was a few hours away when Tasha sent a group text (we have an ongoing sibling thread) asking me to stop by her old place and then we could go to the new home together where she had the presents for our gift exchange.   I replied to the affirmative but didn't think to mention that I was planning to stay with Trina.   This will come into play later.

So I get to Tasha's old place and when going to the door, she didn't answer.   I called a few minutes later and confirmed that she and Abe were at CVS running errands and that they'd be back soon and to go next door to Abe's Mom.   

Abe's Mom and I spent some time together.   She is hard of hearing so it was a struggle chatting with her but that was cool.   I helped her with learning how to use an ear dryer which she needs because she has a condition where her drainage passages are narrow and her ears tend to fill with water.   There is a possible procedure to reverse but with her being almost 90 years old, the doctor's do not want to take the risk.

Tasha and Abe returned twenty minutes later and bought some pizza for dinner.   Abe drove over to their new place and then later I drove Tasha to the new house.   On the way there, Tasha mentioned that I could park my garage in their two car garage (with an individual door for each) and stay overnight.  

When she mentioned staying overnight, I froze.   I had already planned to stay at Trina's but for some reason I didn't say anything.    Also Trina did not send any response when Tasha asked me to stop by the old place.   It looked like Tasha indirectly was thinking Trina and Donovan would also come to the place.    They implied as much to each other when Abe asked if they were coming and Tasha said she didn't think they would.

So Tasha and I toasted the evening on wine coolers and doritos and watched some classic comedies that happened to air their Christmas episodes including Sanford & Son, All In The Family (it was sad seeing Rob Reiner given he recently was shot to death by his own son), and the slightly more recent Hot in Cleveland.   Abe wound up staying at their old house while Tasha and I slept in mattresses in the living room.   She mentioned it was her first night at the new home.   I messaged Trina to let her know that I would stay at Tasha's place since it was first time alone in the new house.   Trina said it was cool but I wasn't sure if she was truly fine with it.

I wound up being a guinea pig for their second upstairs bathroom.   The shower and sink were fine but the toilet leaked out of the tank when flushed.   

Tasha had to work on Friday so she left me Abe's key and the garage opener so I can venture out.   I relaxed a bit and then took a quick shower before heading to a local Wendy's for lunch.   As I was wrapping up lunch, Dom called and was letting me know that he just got done seeing his Mom at the rehab place.    He himself was going to stop at McDonald's to get lunch before heading back home.   While on the phone, I received a message from Eugene.    He also left a text message.  

After I said goodbye to Dom, I checked Eugene's text and saw that he was hanging out at a Starbuck's 20 minutes from me.   I left Wendy's and called him back when I got in the car.   I drove over to the Starbuck's where he was to hang out.   It's our first time seeing each other since last December when I visited him in Fall River, MA.  

We talked about each other's family dramas.  On my end, the last several holidays we all typically gathered at Trina's home since Papa was living there.   It was almost a given that Trina's spot would be where to go.    On the flipside on Thanksgiving Tasha would want Trina and I to stop by for dinner with her and Abe's family.   His family is cool overall but his sister (his only one) is a piece of work.    The times Trina and I went, she would remind us that our parents did not attend Tasha's wedding (which they had at their old place on Thanksgiving).    That proved to be a sore spot that she always would bring up.   It got to the point that we both were tired of hearing about it.   It especially got annoying hearing it after Mama had passed.    So for a few years neither Trina and I would attend which proved to be a sore point for Tasha.

So I wonder if this year that may played into things.   I oddly felt like I was caught in the middle.   In the end Eugene said that it would be up to me to fix things.   I knew Trina had no intentions of going to the new house (she may have felt slighted by us not going there on Christmas) so when Tasha happened to call me, I suggested that the two of us should go over to Trina's.   I then called Trina afterwards to let her know that we would head over in a few more hours.

Eugene then replayed his drama that mostly centers around his Dad.   His Dad is a heavy drinker who apparently spends all his money on liquor and does not help in paying the rent at the apartment his parents reside.  Basically there was an incident where he drove his parents to his sister's home for Christmas dinner.   His sister visited Portugal and apparently picked up some kind of rum that their Dad took a liking to. 

Eugene mentioned that his Mom and himself were in the car and were waiting for his Dad.   It took another ten or fifteen minutes before he came and he emerged with the rum.    Eugene surmised that he must've convinced his sister to part with it.    But Eugene was having none of it.    He basically had a standoff with his Dad saying that he refused to drive them with an open bottle of liquor.    His concern was that if they get pulled over, he could get in trouble with law enforcement and did not want to take the risk.   His Dad argued back against this but Eugene prevailed.

Needless to say he has a strained relationship with his Dad.   He mentioned how his Dad was a heavy drinker all his life and lost his job due to being drunk on the job.    He was verbally abusive to his Mom.   A part of Eugene was mad that his Mom did not leave him many years back.    But now they're in their late 70s and early 80's so pretty much it makes no sense to do so.

We then made parallel comparisons between his Dad spending all his disposable income on liquor while Dom spends most of his disposable income (and well some of my income these days) on his doll hobby.   At least Dom's hobby isn't destructive health wise.

We spent the majority of our time also talking about getting older and health woes.   Eugene recently was diagnosed with sleep apnea and due to years of it being untreated, it affected his blood vessels in his brain.   He has to take a mild blood pressure medication.   Of course it got me thinking about my health and how I'm resigning myself to possibly having to take them myself.    He then mentioned a friend who has to take 300mg of some blood pressure meds.   That's so crazy.

So we parted ways after a few hours and then I got to Tasha's home just before Tasha was dropped off by Abe.   We then made our way to Trina's home where we had the gift exchange.   I had Donovan's name and got his some Lions gear since he loves the Lions.    He especially appreciated the cup holders since he always quick to throw a cup holder whenever we have drinks.

I bought pizza over and Tasha brought some Pepsi.   Overall we had a good evening and then we headed back.   I left on Saturday morning to head back home which I'm glad I did as temperatures plummeted on Sunday and it was rainy and windy.

I will definitely have to remember next year to make it clear where we would be meeting for the holidays and I'll have to use the group siblings chat to verify on where I am staying.   Also as an aside Tasha was asking me about my car on our way to Trina.   Little did I pickup that she was asking because she's interested in getting the car when I decide to update.   She told me as much in a private text after I got back home.   I've traded my older cars twice before for Papa ages back and Papa in turn gave his older cars to Tasha (she always seems to want a car though I'm guessing Abe's family members are in need as we never see the cars again).   I told her I'd let her know but if she wants the car, she'll definitely have to give me a fair value for losing the trade-in.   Fun times.

Type A Drama

 On December 15th Dom and I drove to Fort Wayne, IN to visit his Mom who was in the hospital recovering from a brain bleed.   Dom asked me to drive since the trip was close to three hours and he's not comfortable anymore driving longer than two hours.  I was in the office when he asked so I needed to quickly reach out to my manager to get approval.   Thankfully she said it was fine and I was able to use some of my sick time.

So when we got there, we ran into Dom's sister Marie's husband Mel in a hallway near the room where Dom's Mom was staying.   Immediately afterwards we ran into Marie.   The hospital staff was taking care of his Mom so we waited outside her room until they were done.

We also ran into Dom's niece Lexie who was in the room while the staff was helping his Mom.   Eventually we all were in the room and we were able to spend quality time with her.  She sounded a lot better than she did when Dom talked to her a few days before the visit.   At that time they were running lots of tests and she had a tube in her mouth and throat.

One of the things that drove Dom to wanting to see his Mom in person was Marie expressing wanting to take control over their Mom's care and finances.    Dom and his Mom were upset that Marie insisted on taking his Dad to a rehab facility closer to her without considering what his Dad wanted.   Dom also is worried that Marie will want to sell his Mom's house if something happens to her and then displace Lexie and Ava from the house.   

Marie was quick to mention that Mom made her "executor" of her estate and the final go-to for what happens next.   That definitely irritated Dom.   He even asked me beforehand if I wanted to be "executor".   But I declined as I do not want to be in the middle of that mess.   Marie is a piece of work and I really don't want to deal with that and have her stressing me out.    Plus it would potentially put a strain on Dom and my relationship which I do not want.

It is crazy how the love of money can cause division in a lot of families.   I do pray that they are able to get through this.   Dom is also hoping to convince his Mom to sell the home to her brother so that his nieces would be able to stay without being forced to move if Marie pursues trying to sell the home.  Originally his parents stated that when they both are gone that the home would be split between Dom and his two sisters.    Dom's sister Marina passed on but her nieces Ava and Lexie are still there.   It makes sense to leave the home to the nieces as neither Dom nor Marie have need of the home.   They could also put the home in a revocable living trust as well and explicitly spell out that the nieces would inherit the home.    Hopefully they'll be able to resolve things before his Mom isn't able to.

Everyone in Dom's family, including Dom, are Type A's.   So it can make for intense moments.

Dom's Mom is at a rehab facility that's closer to her home.   She was feeling depressed at the thought of not being home for Christmas but the facility is allowing her to go home for Christmas.    But like Cinderella, she has to return to the facility before Midnight.

Dom got to see his Mom on Christmas and plans to spend the 26th with her at the facility before he heads back home.    He expressed sadness that his Mom felt hopeless because she wasn't able to get herself up from the loveseat she was sitting at.    She lamented that if she can't get up from the loveseat, she may never come back home.    But the hope is that the physical therapy will help her in recovery.

Merry Christmas 2025

 Another Christmas has arrived.   As it has been since I've grown up, Christmas seems to creep in faster and faster.   It serves as a reminder that the end of the year is almost here.   I wanted to post a quick message before Dom and I take off to visit our respective families.   Dom's Mom is doing better and is currently at a rehab facility.    There's some drama there but I'll save that for another post.

My sisters are doing fine.   Tasha and her family are in the process of moving to a new home in Detroit.   The area they're moving to is around 7 mile and Woodward which has a lot of older, nicer homes in the vicinity.   They've been living in their current home since the mid-2000's and the home next door to them was owned by Abe's grandparents since 1971 and their move-in date Tasha recently found out was on her birthdate.

So anyway I'll be on the road shortly.   I honestly do not like having to drive for such a long distance but since I'm the furthest away, it makes sense.   Plus since it's just Tasha, Trina, and myself left in our family, it is good for us to stay connected.

We're still doing the Secret Santa list.  We've actually done it for over 15 years now.   I drew Trina's husband Donovan this year.   I wasn't sure what to get him but I remembered his love of the Detroit Lions and decided to get him some Lions gear.    He'll hopefully put it to good use.

Happy Holidays everyone!

The Rant Show

 Dom made it to and from safely from his solo trip to Orlando.   I was grateful we made it safely to and from the airport as well despite the idiots on the road.   Thankfully the hotel that was hosting the Poppy Parker event was literally in the airport itself so he didn't have to step outside.   He enjoyed himself but was definitely pooped with the jet-set to and from travel less than 24 hours.

I'm continuing to feel the financial pinch from Dom and he's yet to carry out any of the plans he's discussed doing which includes tutoring kids or selling any of his ginormous doll collection.   I keep bugging him periodically to take action but he is still taking his sweet time.  

He mentioned possibly looking into getting disability payments.   Since he is out of work and he's hit roadblocks on getting hired, it would make sense.    He says he will pursue this in January.  I mentioned it to Tasha and she reminded me that a friend of hers signed up for disability and it has been a godsend for her.   I'm praying the Orange administration doesn't mess up the process.   We shall see.

 I do pray that I can hang on to my job.   It continues to be stressful and they are throwing Developer Support cases at me even though I pushed back against it.   I believe what's happening is that with the layoffs, we've had to do more with less people.   I have at least a dozen Severity 1 cases in my docket.   It's been a juggling job and by the end of the day I'm exhausted.    It is possible to be grateful but stressed, right?   

On the bright side Centier bought me two positive pieces of news.  First, they finally credited our joint account for the September 5th hack.   I was able to put some of it towards bringing down the mortgage which is now $8400.    Speaking of the mortgage, I got some better than expected news that the monthly mortgage payment is increasing by only a little over $4.   So that means taxes and insurance haven't increased much.   That's compared to last year when my monthly payment increased by over $100 a month.  I guess they're giving me a tiny break.

If I can just hang on for another six to eight months at the job, I should be close to having the mortgage completely paid off.   That'll give me some breathing room to better manage Dom's expenses.   If only I could rein in his spending, we'd actually be fine.   Let me be a cautionary tale for choosing your partner wisely.   I chose wisely for love but that's only one part of the equation (even if it's a big part).    But it is definitely ideal to have a partner that has similar financial goals in life.    Why do spenders and savers connect together?    Two savers is definitely the ideal situation (for me as a saver at least).   Two spenders would be a complete disaster (though with Dom that would be his ideal situation - till the debt creeps in).

But life throws things in perspective.   Last night Dom got a call from his niece Lexie telling him that his Mom had a cranial hemorrhage (brain bleed).   She was actually flown by helicopter to a hospital in Fort Wayne.   She's in ICU but thankfully is in recovery.

As much as Dom and I clash, his Mom's episode reminds me that there is more to life than finances.  Life truly is too short.

Traveling Dom

 Dom and his hobby finds himself traveling to Orlando for a one-day pop-up event for a doll that he collects called Poppy Parker.   He was able to attend by another one of those "lottery" plays where you win the right to pay for a seat.   

Dom has a crazy, long day ahead of him.  The event starts sometime after 9AM on the 6th.  So Dom's flight leaves out of Midway airport at 5:05 AM that morning and arrives in Orlando sometime around 8:30 AM.    From what he said, the hotel he's going to should be near-ish the airport so he won't have to travel far.   But pretty much it's a full day event which concludes around 6 or 7 in the evening.   Then he has to get ready for a flight that leaves just before 9PM and arrives back at Midway close to 11pm.

So I get the pleasure of driving him to and from the airport.   It's about an hour drive which includes dealing with crazy folks on the road.   We've had inclement weather this last week as well.    I did a quick trip to Detroit on Thanksgiving for the holiday, driving back home the next day to avoid a messy storm that was brewing in Indiana on Saturday.   There were so many accidents reported, including a 50+ car pile-up in Terre Haute, IN on Dec 2nd.    

My biggest worry was having potential snowstorms happening when I drop off and pick up Dom.   There was a mention of a potential storm Friday night into Saturday morning but thankfully the system is delayed till Sunday.

Dom has a lot of travel ahead of him.   I do worry about him having to navigate his way around the airport especially since he's a lot slower than he used to be.   

So I'll have this Saturday to myself.   I plan to use some of that time to go shopping for Christmas gifts for 3 local area kids for the holiday that need holiday cheer.   I also need to go to the bank and find out why we haven't gotten credited for the hack that happened on September 5th.   When I went back after our initial trip to the bank, the teller claimed that the fraud team would need to investigate and it would take up to 90 days for us to get credited.   90 days is on the 5th and we still didn't get our $600 back (which would've been useful for Dom's upcoming trip since I deposited that very amount into the joint).  It's a good thing I was able to recover from that hit.   What if I was living paycheck to paycheck (which actually I kind of am since I need a job) and had some bills that I couldn't pay because of the money lost?   It is crazy that it's taking this long to get credited.

 I also reached out to Anthony and we plan to meet up for some more fun.   I am glad that we reconnected.  I've always seem to have a hard time meeting guys for hookups but in recent years it's gotten harder.  The gameplaying has increased immensely.   There's just so many fake people online.   So I'm grateful that Anthony and I crossed paths again and he's been a reliable hookup.

Casino Major

 Apparently my lucky time to go to the casino is around Thanksgiving time.    I made my way back from a quick though long drive from Detroit back home.   Weatherwise there was lake effect snow in several cities along I-94 that I usually take to travel.    To get around the potential delays on 1-94, I wound up taking the expensive I-80/I-90 tollway or the Indiana/Ohio Turnpike.   

There is another major snow system that will be hitting most of Indiana sometime on Saturday.   So I found myself heading back home earlier today to avoid it.   Going back I traveled north of I-94 on I-696 and I-96.   

Since taking the detours, I didn't make it to Firekeeper's casino this year where I won my first handpay last year.   Instead I stopped at another casino that's closer to home that I visit semi-regularly, the Four Winds in New Buffalo, MI.

I started out with a $20 on an Aristocrat classic game called Pompeii.   Sadly I played it down to 5 cents and then wound up getting the bonus on 3 cents.   It even retriggered once.  The 5 button was broken so couldn't play all of it.  The bonus wound up paying $5.80, which is an excellent return on 3 cents.    But that was very embarrassing since it was such a small bet and I couldn't skip the celebration music that was playing when I hit $1.50 on a spin...but again at 3 cents, winning a $1.50 is an excellent return on investment even if ultimately it's peanuts.

That bonus kept me alive for a little longer before I lost it all.   I played my next $20 on another slot called Prost Deluxe which is a game that's another version of Octoberfest beer game.   I wound up getting a $200 bonus on the game where whenever the beer lands on a space it doubles the current value and apparently it caps at a certain point where it stops doubling and was set to MAX (which is a shame since the beer seemed to keep hitting the same spots after they maxxed out).   That was my first time getting a really nice bonus on it and reaching capacity on not one but two squares.   I got briefly excited because I wound up getting a full screen of credits and was wondering if I would get the Grand jackpot.   But that's not the case.   The grand jackpot could just randomly drop on any spin.   Here's a shot of my winning bonus.

That's not where the winning ends.   I wound up playing the same Dollar Storm game (different machine obviously) that I won my first handpay on last year.   Wouldn't you know that this time I achieved another first.   I wound up landing the Major ball in my bonus which netted me $523 dollars.  The button to the game was broken so I was distracted and didn't fully realize what had happened.   There was a lady that sat next to me who decided to bring it to my attention.   The bonus ended up being over $650 in total.    It wasn't a handpay but still a milestone as I've never gotten the Major ball before where it counted.

Pretty much after that I didn't get any other wins.   I forced myself to stop at $500 and called it a win.   I will say it's still pretty shocking to me.   I will have to play again next Thanksgiving and see what else happens.   

Why I Love Dom So Much

 Monica - Why I Love You So Much

VERSE1:
You mean the world, ooh, and everything that I want for
Since I've been your girl, ooh, my whole life has been much better than ever before
You got a tender sweet love, yes, you do
That weakens me and takes over me whenever we touch

REFRAIN:
Baby, that's just why I love you so much
Baby, that's why I just can't get enough
Baby, that's just why I love you so much
I love only you

VERSE2:
Now you say that you're down, oh you said you won't play around
No, no not with my heart, and when your boys come around, no you're not disrespecting me, and not trying to be Mr. Wanna-Be-Hard
You let them know that I'm yours, yes, you do
By holdin' me and kissin' me , let's them know that for sure

REPEAT REFRAIN

Dom and I have been together for over 11 years, married for over 3 years.   If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that we've had our ups and downs.    That is the same for every relationship I suppose.   I'm constantly lamenting about Dom's lack of financial accountability.    He's the spender in the relationship and has a habit of wanting to spend without knowing if funds are there to cover.   It's been frustrating dealing with that and always having to be the one to cover.

I'm not saying that I'm this great money savant.   I've made my fair share of mistakes with money.    Over the years I did save up money to invest but instead of picking solid stocks from big name companies, I played the penny stock game.   I stupidly held on to a lot of those stocks too long before they either reverse split to oblivion or delist and become totally worthless.  I've lost tens of thousands of dollars over the years over that.   

One big name stock that I wish was in my radar 25 years ago was O'Reilly Auto Parts (ORLY).   The monthly adjusted price (post-split) for November 2000 was 0.89 cents which adjusts to around $16 pre-split.   The price of O'Reilly before it did a 15-for-1 forward split on June 9, 2025 was around $1365.   Can you imagine if I had bought 100 shares of ORLY in November 2000 for $1600 instead of chasing whatever stupid penny stock I was chasing at that time?    Assuming I held those same shares for 25 years (which I may or may not have), they would be worth on June 9, 2025 a jaw-dropping $136,500.   So yeah I made some more costly mistakes.

Thankfully though I did save money (still do) via 401-K and mutual funds over the years and that has helped me as well to slowly build a nest.   Even when I was working at Amazon, I still tried to save $10 a paycheck in the 401-K there.   Papa expressed to me early on about the importance of saving some of your coins for a rainy day.

From what I was told, Dom's parents taught those same things to Dom.   But the lessons went to death ears...LOL.

But I'm deviating from the intentions of this post.   I truly do love Dom.   I wouldn't be with him otherwise.   One of the things I love about Dom is that he's shown me time after time again how much he loves me.   He's my biggest defender whenever I'm in a jam and being attacked by others.   

He always asks me how my day is going.   He'll make sure that I eat something when I work myself to death and not thinking about food.    He will get random items for me to try and relieve some symptoms that I suffer such as my cold hands and feet.   He's purchased electric gloves, slippers, back scratchers, whatever will help me for whatever ailment.   He pushes me to go to bed when he sees me dozing off in the easy chair and tells me I need to sleep more.

I love his intelligence and common sense.   But what I love most of all is his empathy for those that are suffering.   He and I attended a Transgender Day Of Remembrance memorial that our Church was having to honor the memory of transgender men and women who lost their lives in various acts of violence.   Part of that memorial is reading off the various names of the victims.   Dom was one of the readers of the names.    As he was reading the names and the various ways the victims were killed, I felt Dom's voice cracking.

We talked afterwards and he told me that it broke his heart to read about the deaths.   He couldn't believe some of the murderers who had relationships with the victims.   He wondered why they couldn't just break up with a person if they don't like a person anymore, why kill someone.    He doesn't get all the violence that is going on and abhors it.    That's why he never wants to watch anything that has the potential hint of violence.

Dom really is the sweetest most caring man I've been with.  I do want him to enjoy his hobby.  I do feel sad that his diabetes is taking the feelings out of his hands and feet.    His neuropathy is getting worse and it's harder for him to enjoy his hobby.   The smaller jewelry and shoe pieces on his dolls are especially hard for him to take on and off since he can't feel his hands.

Part of why I am shooting for financial independence is so Dom can get things to his heart content and I don't have to worry that we are on the verge of getting broke.

At the end of the day, I do love Dom and appreciate having him in my life and look forward to our continuing adventures