Type A Drama

 On December 15th Dom and I drove to Fort Wayne, IN to visit his Mom who was in the hospital recovering from a brain bleed.   Dom asked me to drive since the trip was close to three hours and he's not comfortable anymore driving longer than two hours.  I was in the office when he asked so I needed to quickly reach out to my manager to get approval.   Thankfully she said it was fine and I was able to use some of my sick time.

So when we got there, we ran into Dom's sister Marie's husband Mel in a hallway near the room where Dom's Mom was staying.   Immediately afterwards we ran into Marie.   The hospital staff was taking care of his Mom so we waited outside her room until they were done.

We also ran into Dom's niece Lexie who was in the room while the staff was helping his Mom.   Eventually we all were in the room and we were able to spend quality time with her.  She sounded a lot better than she did when Dom talked to her a few days before the visit.   At that time they were running lots of tests and she had a tube in her mouth and throat.

One of the things that drove Dom to wanting to see his Mom in person was Marie expressing wanting to take control over their Mom's care and finances.    Dom and his Mom were upset that Marie insisted on taking his Dad to a rehab facility closer to her without considering what his Dad wanted.   Dom also is worried that Marie will want to sell his Mom's house if something happens to her and then displace Lexie and Ava from the house.   

Marie was quick to mention that Mom made her "executor" of her estate and the final go-to for what happens next.   That definitely irritated Dom.   He even asked me beforehand if I wanted to be "executor".   But I declined as I do not want to be in the middle of that mess.   Marie is a piece of work and I really don't want to deal with that and have her stressing me out.    Plus it would potentially put a strain on Dom and my relationship which I do not want.

It is crazy how the love of money can cause division in a lot of families.   I do pray that they are able to get through this.   Dom is also hoping to convince his Mom to sell the home to her brother so that his nieces would be able to stay without being forced to move if Marie pursues trying to sell the home.  Originally his parents stated that when they both are gone that the home would be split between Dom and his two sisters.    Dom's sister Marina passed on but her nieces Ava and Lexie are still there.   It makes sense to leave the home to the nieces as neither Dom nor Marie have need of the home.   They could also put the home in a revocable living trust as well and explicitly spell out that the nieces would inherit the home.    Hopefully they'll be able to resolve things before his Mom isn't able to.

Everyone in Dom's family, including Dom, are Type A's.   So it can make for intense moments.

Dom's Mom is at a rehab facility that's closer to her home.   She was feeling depressed at the thought of not being home for Christmas but the facility is allowing her to go home for Christmas.    But like Cinderella, she has to return to the facility before Midnight.

Dom got to see his Mom on Christmas and plans to spend the 26th with her at the facility before he heads back home.    He expressed sadness that his Mom felt hopeless because she wasn't able to get herself up from the loveseat she was sitting at.    She lamented that if she can't get up from the loveseat, she may never come back home.    But the hope is that the physical therapy will help her in recovery.

Merry Christmas 2025

 Another Christmas has arrived.   As it has been since I've grown up, Christmas seems to creep in faster and faster.   It serves as a reminder that the end of the year is almost here.   I wanted to post a quick message before Dom and I take off to visit our respective families.   Dom's Mom is doing better and is currently at a rehab facility.    There's some drama there but I'll save that for another post.

My sisters are doing fine.   Tasha and her family are in the process of moving to a new home in Detroit.   The area they're moving to is around 7 mile and Woodward which has a lot of older, nicer homes in the vicinity.   They've been living in their current home since the mid-2000's and the home next door to them was owned by Abe's grandparents since 1971 and their move-in date Tasha recently found out was on her birthdate.

So anyway I'll be on the road shortly.   I honestly do not like having to drive for such a long distance but since I'm the furthest away, it makes sense.   Plus since it's just Tasha, Trina, and myself left in our family, it is good for us to stay connected.

We're still doing the Secret Santa list.  We've actually done it for over 15 years now.   I drew Trina's husband Donovan this year.   I wasn't sure what to get him but I remembered his love of the Detroit Lions and decided to get him some Lions gear.    He'll hopefully put it to good use.

Happy Holidays everyone!

The Rant Show

 Dom made it to and from safely from his solo trip to Orlando.   I was grateful we made it safely to and from the airport as well despite the idiots on the road.   Thankfully the hotel that was hosting the Poppy Parker event was literally in the airport itself so he didn't have to step outside.   He enjoyed himself but was definitely pooped with the jet-set to and from travel less than 24 hours.

I'm continuing to feel the financial pinch from Dom and he's yet to carry out any of the plans he's discussed doing which includes tutoring kids or selling any of his ginormous doll collection.   I keep bugging him periodically to take action but he is still taking his sweet time.  

He mentioned possibly looking into getting disability payments.   Since he is out of work and he's hit roadblocks on getting hired, it would make sense.    He says he will pursue this in January.  I mentioned it to Tasha and she reminded me that a friend of hers signed up for disability and it has been a godsend for her.   I'm praying the Orange administration doesn't mess up the process.   We shall see.

 I do pray that I can hang on to my job.   It continues to be stressful and they are throwing Developer Support cases at me even though I pushed back against it.   I believe what's happening is that with the layoffs, we've had to do more with less people.   I have at least a dozen Severity 1 cases in my docket.   It's been a juggling job and by the end of the day I'm exhausted.    It is possible to be grateful but stressed, right?   

On the bright side Centier bought me two positive pieces of news.  First, they finally credited our joint account for the September 5th hack.   I was able to put some of it towards bringing down the mortgage which is now $8400.    Speaking of the mortgage, I got some better than expected news that the monthly mortgage payment is increasing by only a little over $4.   So that means taxes and insurance haven't increased much.   That's compared to last year when my monthly payment increased by over $100 a month.  I guess they're giving me a tiny break.

If I can just hang on for another six to eight months at the job, I should be close to having the mortgage completely paid off.   That'll give me some breathing room to better manage Dom's expenses.   If only I could rein in his spending, we'd actually be fine.   Let me be a cautionary tale for choosing your partner wisely.   I chose wisely for love but that's only one part of the equation (even if it's a big part).    But it is definitely ideal to have a partner that has similar financial goals in life.    Why do spenders and savers connect together?    Two savers is definitely the ideal situation (for me as a saver at least).   Two spenders would be a complete disaster (though with Dom that would be his ideal situation - till the debt creeps in).

But life throws things in perspective.   Last night Dom got a call from his niece Lexie telling him that his Mom had a cranial hemorrhage (brain bleed).   She was actually flown by helicopter to a hospital in Fort Wayne.   She's in ICU but thankfully is in recovery.

As much as Dom and I clash, his Mom's episode reminds me that there is more to life than finances.  Life truly is too short.

Traveling Dom

 Dom and his hobby finds himself traveling to Orlando for a one-day pop-up event for a doll that he collects called Poppy Parker.   He was able to attend by another one of those "lottery" plays where you win the right to pay for a seat.   

Dom has a crazy, long day ahead of him.  The event starts sometime after 9AM on the 6th.  So Dom's flight leaves out of Midway airport at 5:05 AM that morning and arrives in Orlando sometime around 8:30 AM.    From what he said, the hotel he's going to should be near-ish the airport so he won't have to travel far.   But pretty much it's a full day event which concludes around 6 or 7 in the evening.   Then he has to get ready for a flight that leaves just before 9PM and arrives back at Midway close to 11pm.

So I get the pleasure of driving him to and from the airport.   It's about an hour drive which includes dealing with crazy folks on the road.   We've had inclement weather this last week as well.    I did a quick trip to Detroit on Thanksgiving for the holiday, driving back home the next day to avoid a messy storm that was brewing in Indiana on Saturday.   There were so many accidents reported, including a 50+ car pile-up in Terre Haute, IN on Dec 2nd.    

My biggest worry was having potential snowstorms happening when I drop off and pick up Dom.   There was a mention of a potential storm Friday night into Saturday morning but thankfully the system is delayed till Sunday.

Dom has a lot of travel ahead of him.   I do worry about him having to navigate his way around the airport especially since he's a lot slower than he used to be.   

So I'll have this Saturday to myself.   I plan to use some of that time to go shopping for Christmas gifts for 3 local area kids for the holiday that need holiday cheer.   I also need to go to the bank and find out why we haven't gotten credited for the hack that happened on September 5th.   When I went back after our initial trip to the bank, the teller claimed that the fraud team would need to investigate and it would take up to 90 days for us to get credited.   90 days is on the 5th and we still didn't get our $600 back (which would've been useful for Dom's upcoming trip since I deposited that very amount into the joint).  It's a good thing I was able to recover from that hit.   What if I was living paycheck to paycheck (which actually I kind of am since I need a job) and had some bills that I couldn't pay because of the money lost?   It is crazy that it's taking this long to get credited.

 I also reached out to Anthony and we plan to meet up for some more fun.   I am glad that we reconnected.  I've always seem to have a hard time meeting guys for hookups but in recent years it's gotten harder.  The gameplaying has increased immensely.   There's just so many fake people online.   So I'm grateful that Anthony and I crossed paths again and he's been a reliable hookup.