#Day1Jitters

Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go 

INTRO:

Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug

VERSE:

You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky-high
When your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang-bang-bang
'Til my feet do the same
But something's bugging me
Something ain't right
My best friend told me
What you did last night
You left me sleeping in my bed
I was dreaming
But I should've been with you instead

REFRAIN:

Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go
I don't wanna miss it when you hit that high

Wake me up before you go-go
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo
Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high, yeah yeah

Omgosh.   Look at me.   5 blog entries in one month.   It's a tie for the most entries in a month matching October 2011 when I first created this blog.    I do miss my fellow bloggers that used to read this blog and my original blog.   The mid-2000's was definitely the season of blogging.   I honestly don't know how my former blogger cohorts found me let alone how I found folks.   We were quite a community and I still remember the first time I "came out" on my blog.   Omg I haven't thought about Vince in years.   He was one of many losers I've dated or attempted to date over the years.    But yes my blogger community was pretty cool.    We even got together and had a "blogger convention" in Baltimore.    So cool to meet other gay black male bloggers.    Though I can't forget my female supporters as well.    I do miss those days and wonder what everyone is doing now.    Maybe someday I'll find out.

Sigh...looking at my old blogs entries makes me realize I'm getting old.   Uggh.  I still can't believe I'll be turning 50 this October.   How time flies.  

But the reason for my post is that I'm about to embark on my new journey with my new job.   In another hour I'll begin my Day 1.   I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous as hell.   Those #Day1Jitters and imposter syndrome feelings are real.  But I'm hopeful everything will go fine.   Pretty much today and the rest of the week I'll be in multiple orientations.    I assume I'll meet my manager at minimum sometime today and he's supposed to tell me who I'm shadowing.    It's so weird to be doing everything remote (even though my one company I worked at for twenty years was the originator of working remote before the pandemic made working remote universal - except for us Amazon essential workers and other retail workers) and not meeting folks in person.   But when the day comes that I meet folks, our home base office is in Indianapolis and that's almost 3 hours from where I live.    So that'll be a fun commute but I'm hoping I won't have to do that often.   Also my company is looking to build a headquarters in Chicago sometime in 2023.   I'll definitely put my name on the list to make that my home office once it's complete.

Hello world... here I come!   This company is a good one (well as good as any corporate entity can be).   Also from my understanding it's hard to get a job here so the fact that I pulled it off in the sea of all my rejections (they rejected me as well for a few other roles earlier) is nothing short of amazing.    They have lots of accolades for being one of the best places to work and being the best place for LGBTQ individuals.   Here's hoping this is where I finish my career.    We shall see.   Stay tuned.

Dom's Toe Drama

 Dom's was diagnosed with a diabetic ulcer in his left toe on January 20th.    It seems Dom and I can't catch a break with our health issues.    For Dom his issue started with a check up at a local clinic that he goes to that is free for teachers.   It's definitely a nice benefit since teachers don't make a lot of money.   They do the most basic checks and they have a limited supply of medications but nonetheless it's been a godsend for him especially with his meds since he pays a lower cost for them.

Anyway I previously mentioned that he had an appointment on December 20th.    The care physician at the clinic did his blood work and then decided to look at his feet.    To his shock the physician discovered that his left toe had a cut in it and appeared to be very swollen.   She prescribed him some antibiotics as well as some mupirocin ointment to apply to his wound.    She gave him a podiatrist to follow up with.

So yours truly was assigned to help Dom soak his feet in hopes of healing his wound.   We did this twice a day though some mornings he opted to soak his feet in the shower.    He had an appointment with a podiatrist on January 6th.   He told Dom that the care physician gave him the wrong antibiotics and prescribed another one.   He also thought Dom had a toe infection stemming for his toe nail so he removed the toe nail under local anesthesia and dressed the wound.

Similar to our previous regimen, he suggested we continue to soak the toe and change the dressing.   He scheduled a follow-up appointment for January 20th.    So Dom goes back on the 20th, he mentioned that the doctor took a Q-tip and managed to push it deep inside his wound.   At that point the podiatrist diagnosed Dom with a diabetic ulcer and told him he needed to immediately go to the hospital to get it removed.   He feared that the infection may have spread to the bone and told Dom he'd have to be in the hospital for at least one week.

Dom drove back home and after we had dinner, I drove him to our favorite ER around 7:30 PM.   The ER room itself wasn't as packed as it was when I unfortunately was there New Year's Eve.   We waited about 40 minutes before Dom got his vitals done and then registered.   Another 30 minutes later we were ushered to a treatment room inside the ER.    He was immediately set up with a stint in his lower arm for a series of IV's, including more antibiotics.     The hope was to fight off the infection immediately.

The hospital was pretty much full and it would be a long wait before Dom was able to get a room.   I stayed with him until 3:45 AM when he insisted I go back home to get some rest.   I didn't want to leave him but I didn't want him to be upset.    I was reminded of a time when I drove Papa and Mama to the ER because Papa wasn't feeling well.    After waiting a long time we all were directed to a treatment room and Mama and I stayed overnight with Papa until he got a room around 10:30 in the morning.

Dom called me around 8:30 AM to tell me that he got a room around 7AM.   I went to see Dom later on Friday and found him in good spirits.     He was on multiple antibiotics and was taking a lot of different tests to determine the severity of his infection.     There was a possibility that they wouldn't be able to save his toe.   The infection did indeed spread to his bones which was why he was on antibiotics.   

His podiatrist originally mentioned that they would do a procedure to remove the ulcer Monday afternoon.    It wound up being done early Monday morning.    Overall everything went well and they were able to save his toe.    Part of his medical team included an infectious disease specialist so there were more tests that specialist had done and depending on the results, that would determine when Dom can come home.    Once Dom is home, though, it seems he may have to be off work for yet another week.    He may not have enough days to cover being off for so long.   Uggh.

A bright spot to his saga was that of course they tested him for COVID.   His test came back NEGATIVE once more.    It almost gave credence to the theory that my test may have been a false positive.   President Biden mentioned that the federal government is providing every household with four free COVID tests by the end of January.    The plan is for us to use two of the tests when we receive them to retest.    I'm hoping obviously that I'll have a NEGATIVE result.    On the bright side I continued to not have any symptoms of COVID.    So I'm hopeful that my results will be NEGATIVE.

2022 so far is proving to have a crazy start for us.   But on the bright side I start my new job on the 31st.   My increased income should help us in the event Dom loses his due to time off from work.   I'm going to continue to work weekends at Amazon for a few more weeks.   Sometime in February Amazon is going to have their annual "Pay To Quit" program where they basically pay you up to $5000 (based on number of peak seasons you've worked).   I've worked three peak seasons so should be getting $3000 (before taxes of course).    I was going back and forth on whether to take it or not.   The main stipulation if you accept the "Pay To Quit" offer is that you are barred from ever working at Amazon or any of their subsidiaries.    Unfortunately the company I'm going to work has a partnership with Amazon.    I was fearing if there ever came a day that Amazon decided to buy out my company (though my future company is a giant corporation as well so it likely won't happen) that I would lose my job there.   But I am reassured that I would have a separate hiring contract with my future company and that it would hold precedence.    So it's just a matter of waiting for Amazon to kick off the program.    Honestly though it's getting harder for me to motivate myself to go work there especially with my new job.   Not that it ever was easy motivating myself to pick and pack items at Amazon.   The good thing is that I should be in the "honeymoon phase" of the new job for a few weeks and I'll be working remote so I should be able to manage both jobs until I can take Amazon's offer to quit which I'm hoping will be sooner rather than later.

Facts Of Life

 Gloria Loring - The Facts Of Life

You take the good

You take the bad

You take them both and there you have

The facts of life

The facts of life

When the world never seems

To be living up to your dreams

Then suddenly you're finding out

The facts of life are all about you 

Ooh ooh ooh ooh you

I've been humming the theme song to Facts of Life a few times over the last few weeks.   I can blame a few episodes of Married With Children for putting the song in my head.    Basically there was a joke of nothing being on cable and when Al puts on the TV, the Facts of Life theme song starts blaring.   Then there's another episode where Kelly is contemplating about life while sitting in the living room.   She turns on the TV and you guessed it, the Facts of Life song blares out as Kelly bops her head to the theme song.

I can't help but hum the song myself when I think of all the good and bad things that have so far made its way into 2022.   BAD:  I ended 2021 and started 2022 with being diagnosed with kidney stones.   BAD:  I didn't have health insurance so now I have to work through the process of how to pay the bill.   I was supposed to get some forms in the mail to fill out as far as getting help on the bill but those have yet to arrive.   And as of this entry posting I have no idea how much the bill will be.     GOOD:  I was able to reduce the cost of my prescriptions meds a little bit by joining Walgreen's Prescription card plan.    GOOD:  I successfully passed a kidney stone on January 7th and there doesn't appear to be any additional stones.   GOOD:  That same day I got a call from my future employer telling me that I got the job.

The latest BAD and the reason for this entry.   I found out yesterday that I tested positive for COVID.

Dom and I went to the Gary Health Department on the 11th to get tested.   Dom mentioned several students being out from school due to having COVID.    Also with all the daily Amazon texts on employees testing positive, I thought it wouldn't hurt for me to go as well.

It was an adventure even getting tested.    We arrived at the health department and after navigating around some icy slick sidewalks (we had a major snowstorm a few days before), we were told that the COVID testing was moved to a different building.    Thankfully it was less than a mile from the Health Department at a local high school ironically named Polk High.    That happened to be the name of the high school where Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game.   It made me wonder if the Bundy's really lived in Gary instead of Chicago.   They just didn't want to admit being from Gary.   *LOL*.

Anyway it took a minute to figure out which door to enter from.   The flyer we received from the Health Department specifically said Door C.    But where we parked there was a Door F.   I tried to tell Dom that it wasn't the correct door.   And that we may have to walk around to find the right door.    But as I mentioned earlier, we had a major snowstorm and walking was treacherous in some spots.   Plus Dom isn't in the best of health walking wise.    So he decided to go through Door F.    

We entered a long hallway where we immediately get stopped by a lone guard.   Basically we had to drive around to the other side and enter Door C which was on the opposite side of the hallway.   It was ridiculous since the testing facility was just down the side hallway near where the guard was situated.   But rules are rules I guess.    So we drove through some icy streets and I had to go the wrong way down a street because the next street was being blocked by EMS and cops.   

The sidewalks were not cleaned at all by Door C which was a travesty since they expect people to go there.    We wound up walking on the street which thankfully was cleaner than the other street I drove through to get there.

So we finally get past the guard after confirming our names and then upon entering the testing room I get scolded by the medical professional.    This guy wound up being the most annoying a-hole.   Since I was first I wound up getting tested by him.   Dom lucked out and got tested by another tester who was much more pleasant.    My tester scolded me for getting tested since I didn't have any symptoms and he seemed to really attack my nose follicles.   I hated him and if I never see him again in my life, it will be a good life.

I'm at work Saturday the 15th and during my first break, Dom messages me that he got his test results.   His test came back NEGATIVE and he wanted to know if I got my results.    My phone was still loading updates since I turned it off during my shift.    I get to my car and see the email from the Indiana Department of Health.   I log in with my credentials to get my results and I'm stunned to see the word POSITIVE.    Normally being positive is a good thing but it's not the case when it comes to COVID.

I was stunned but only had ten minutes to process everything while trying to wolf down some lentils and take some vitamins.   I wasn't sure if I should go back to the building but at the same time I didn't want to lose extra Unpaid Time for clocking in late.    I decided to go back in but leave for home during the second break.

I wanted to separate myself from Dom when I got home but he surmised that we've been hugging and kissing each other a lot and feels my results might be a false positive.    He said as long as we didn't hug and kiss each other, we should be fine.   That's actually going to be the hardest part of this diagnosis, not being able to be affectionate with Dom.    He himself was not feeling any symptoms.    I too had no symptoms although I've had to blow my nose a lot but I always have to do that.   Thankfully my sense of smell and taste are still there and I don't feel feverish or flu-ish.

I reported my COVID results to Amazon and according to their mandates, I have to self-isolate for seven days.    I should be able to report back to work on the following Sunday.    Dom and I will schedule a retest later in the week.    The CDC recommends 5 days of isolation after receiving a positive test result so I should be free to go get tested again this Friday.

Dom is confident that my test results is a false positive.   But on the flipside, there's a chance his results are a false negative.   If there's anything, ugh, positive (I hate that word right now) about getting COVID (assuming it's not a false positive), it isn't the death sentence that it was at the beginning of the pandemic.    This omicron version of COVID they say isn't as lethal as the original.    Perhaps this booster vaccine may be offsetting the worst of the symptoms.   Either way I'm hoping that my next test comes back negative and that Dom's stays negative.   

Stay tuned.

Stone's Throw

 Well it finally happened.   Everything that I've worked for to get myself back into the corporate world has taken place.    I officially accepted a job offer today.    I'll have to say that I didn't think this day would ever come.   As I've said in the past, interviewing is my Achille's heel.    I didn't feel like I really nailed my third round interview.    The one thing I felt like I had going for me was that my potential manager I felt like connected with me.    Whenever I felt like I stumbled with a panel question, he seemed to give me a second chance to answer.   All I needed was to find that one person that was willing to give me a shot.   I felt like he could've been that one.

After my panel interview I immediately knew I didn't get the job.   I sunk into a bit of a depression because I was hoping I would've nailed it.   I was so over interviewing as it's not my strongest suit.   Plus I had hoped to use a potential offer to go back with the local university I interviewed with last month.    I remembered that I didn't write a thank you note to my potential ally on the panel.    So that I did.

To my surprise I received an email from the recruiter telling me that he needed to give me a call.   I admit that gave me hope.   I couldn't imagine that he would call me if I wasn't going to receive an offer.  And I was right.   I signed a lot of electronic documents and pending I pass the background check, I can say that I officially got the job.   My official start date will be January 31st.

It only took 40 months to find my way back to corporate.   My Amazon Warehouse days are numbered.   And to boot I passed a stone this evening.   I'm hoping it's the only one.    Either way today was a good day.

Throwing Stones

Well I made it to 2022.   My year ended and started unexpectedly but more on that in a moment.

Sadly we lost Betty White who they say died peacefully in her sleep sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning.   It was nice seeing all the various tributes made to her and how she was a champion for many disadvantaged folks.   The first time I remember seeing her was on The Golden Girls.   I like millions of other folks enjoyed seeing the weekly antics of four ladies in their fifties and older showing that you could still live a fulfilling life even as you get older.   Now that I'll soon be 50 myself (God willing), that message resonates with me.   Betty definitely made her mark on the world and now she can rest peacefully and hopefully reunite with her family and friends who've gone before her.

So how did my year end?   New Year's Eve 2021 started out normally for me.   Dom was off from school and I of course wasn't on the work schedule.    Dom decided to make some breakfast of eggs and ham a little after 10am.     Breakfast was ready and just when I was about to eat I felt a sharp pain on the left side of my stomach.    The pain was intense and I was thinking I may have been constipated.    

I ate a little but the pain was continuing to be unbearable so I went and got an enema bulb to try and flush myself out.   That didn't help at all.   The pain got to the point that I was barreled over on the sofa barely able to focus on anything else.    Dom did his best to comfort me but there was nothing he could do.    He later suggested I take some Metamucil to see if that would help.    I decided to drink it but the pain was still there.   I went back and forth to the bathroom because I felt like something wanted to come out but nothing would.

I decided to take a hot shower and then soak in the tub.   Just as I was finishing soaking, I was feeling the sensation of wanting to vomit.   Moments later I found myself vomiting in the trash.    I went back downstairs.    Dom asked if we should go to the ER.   I told him to hold off for now and see if things continue to get bleak.   Plus I don't have any health insurance currently so knew going to the ER would be a very expensive proposition.

We started to watch the Wiz.   It's the one movie I remember my parents taking my sisters and I to the theatre to go see.    I believe I was seven or eight years old.   My biggest memory was the trash cans attacking the cast in the garage.   As a youngster I remember that freaking me out.   I tried to enjoy the movie though the pain distracted me.

So Dom boiled some water for me to have some tea.    I drank most of the tea but I was still in pain. I went back and forth to the bathroom hoping to get whatever was ailing me out.    But that wasn't working.    I started to lie down on the sofa and felt the sensation of throwing up again.   I ran to the bathroom and threw up.    When I threw up again a third time, I reluctantly decided that I had to go to emergency.

That was an ordeal.   We got there at 3:30 PM.   The emergency room of course was busy.    Dom went back to his car and then eventually went home when almost two hours past and I hadn't even been registered yet.   I felt peeved when a lady came in with her husband and she complained about stomach pain and got registered maybe 30 minutes after she came in while I was still waiting 2 hours later.   I know they say that it's their discretion on the priority but I felt that was unfair since I too had stomach pain.    

So it was a little over 3 hours before I finally was registered into the system.   I had some initial vitals taken (horrible blood pressure) and then was directed to the register area.    I had the fun task of explaining that I didn't have insurance and having to go through all the particulars of my hours at Amazon.    Even with the little I made I didn't qualify for Medicaid so I was given a number with the financial office to make arrangements for my upcoming expensive ass bill.  

An hour later I was called in for a CAT scan.    There was a secondary waiting area that had outlets.   My cell phone had less than 12% charge left so I plugged it in.   I didn't have enough time though to charge it properly before I went in for the scan.

I went back and then was called again about 30 minutes later to get an IV inserted.   I also provided a urine sample for analysis.   After getting the IV inserted,  I was shot me with some anti-nausea medication.   I remember feeling an immediate sensation throughout my body when given that.   Thankfully the sensation went away and then I was given morphine.    I was placed in a wheel chair and rolled back to the waiting room.

This one busybody lady waiting in the emergency room with a family member noticed my IV wasn't sending anything.   I realized that I needed to not bend my arm.     She also spoke up when my IV ran out to let the nurse know since apparently it can form a dangerous clot I'm guessing from air being pushed into the vein.

While waiting and waiting I found an outlet near the restroom to charge my phone.    After getting my phone to at least 50%, I messaged my sisters to let them know what was happening.    Tasha mentioned that she knew something was wrong because Dom posted a cryptic message on Facebook about our New Year's Eve not going as planned without giving details (details of which I really didn't want shared...*LOL*).    Trina made some joke about thinking Dom and I were off having sex...*LOL*.    Speaking of Dom he was patiently at home waiting for me to update him on status.    I still didn't know what was happening.

It wasn't until two hours later just after 11:30 pm when I found out I had a kidney stone (though I may have more).   Dom is dealing with kidney stones himself but the diagnosis shocked me.    The main doctor came in to explain everything and gave an apology for the long stay (almost nine hours in all)  They gave me some Tylenol and then began the process of discharging me.    So the good news was that I didn't have to stay overnight.   

I rang in the New Year in the emergency room.   Actually I recalled that it wouldn't be the first time I spent New Year's in the ER.    I believe it was New Year's 2005 that I wound up in the ER as well for blood pressure issues.   It's not a habit that I want to have.    Well going to the ER anytime of the year sucks but being there around New Year's is a special kind of suck.   

So now I'm continuing to drink lots of water and constantly feeling the urge to pee.    I just want to get rid of this stone.    I was given a prescription and signed up for a Prescription Savings card since I don't have insurance to try and reduce the cost of the meds.    The main med that I'm taking is something called Tamsulosin that primarily is taken for an enlarged prostate.   The med also is supposed to help relax the urethra and bladder.    The stone was identified as being around 4mm which means that it should pass without surgery thankfully.

Thanks to my emergency and then our first major snowstorm, I had to take off from work Sunday.   Thankfully the building was closed on New Year's so I didn't lose time for that day.   But I'll definitely need to work this weekend even with my stone drama and needing to pee.   I need some income especially with that big emergency bill coming.   Heaven help me.

What a way to start 2022!    Hopefully things go up from here.

One positive thing today.    My Dad turns 92 years young.  I'm grateful to still have him with us and also that my younger sister Trina and her husband are able to take care of him.