Rotor Rooter Time

 

So excited.   I officially paid off my main credit card today.   It was due Saturday but I decided to just send it today.   It feels a bit surreal seeing the $0 balance on my statement.   I will take this win since it is a goal that I've been wanting to achieve since 2017.   I know that balance won't last since I will still need to use my card but I'm hopeful that I'll be able to pay off the balance every month assuming no emergencies shoot it higher than I can afford.   I already know that our car insurance bills are due next month and I will be getting some hospital bills from my colonoscopy procedure that I completed earlier today.   I am hoping my insurance covers most of it though.   But my plan now is to aggressively pay down our mortgage as well as slowly rebuild my savings with the difference left from next month's payment.  

Dom's been dealing with some tough health issues lately that may affect his employment and also affect me financially but I'm hoping to push through whatever happens.   He unfortunately has an enlarged prostate and for the last week has to wear a catheter in his penis.   It's very uncomfortable for him no matter whether he's standing or sitting.   So he likely won't be able to teach until he's able to remove the prostate.

My colonoscopy went okay.   We arrived an hour early thinking we could get the prep done sooner but other than sign a couple documents, I wound up having to wait a little over an hour before I was called.   They found two polyps, one of which was in my rectum, that they removed.   I was a little freaked out to hear I have diverticulosis of the large intestine though they say it's without perforation or abscess without bleeding.  I hope that means that it's not an immediate concern.    They also found I had non-bleeding hemorrhoids that were rated Grade 1, meaning internal hemorrhoids that do not prolapse.   I'll have to wait for the biopsy results to see what happens next.

Trina is dealing with some drama unfortunately.   When visiting Detroit over the 4th of July holiday, I found out that her husband Donovan was cheating on her for the last six years with a personal trainer that they both had used in the past.    At the time the affair begin, this person was 19 years old.   So freaking crazy.   Trina suspected his infidelity but only found out because Donovan was hysterically crying after finding out that he got the girl pregnant.    I feel bad for Trina especially when she mentioned confronting the lady at a local Walgreens and almost getting herself arrested.   I'm definitely disappointed but not surprised by Donovan's actions.   She wants to try and work things out though and thankfully they were able to make the girl get an abortion.

But homegirl is straight up stalking Donovan now.   Trina said that the girl drives by their home several times a day and keeps calling via burner phones.    It's a very scary situation.   I'm definitely keeping Trina in my prayers as she deals with this.

In happy news, today is Dom and my 1st wedding anniversary.   We overall are happy with each other.   We have our issues like every other marriage but we both sincerely care for each other and are there for one another.    As Dom would say, he's there until a "natural" death do us part...LOL.

Tied To The Car

 So I spent my Saturday morning running to Costco to get items for our Church potluck tomorrow.   Dom and I decided to host it tomorrow since it happened to fall on the week of our one year anniversary.   The plan originally was for Dom and I to go to Costco together.   Unfortunately earlier in the week Dom fell into some issues with not being able to pee fully.   He drove himself to the E.R. in the wee hours of Wednesday morning and they ended up putting a catheter up his uretha.    He also has an enlarged prostate which was causing the difficulty.   Having the catheter provided relief from the urges to urinate but unfortunately has made him feel very uncomfortable.   So he wasn't up to going to Costco.

The Costco trip went fine.   It was a bit packed when it came time to leave but thankfully the lines moved relatively quickly.   I decided to head to Meijer for a few extra items needed.    On my way to Meijer I noticed that my rear tires felt funny when I was changing lanes.   

I eventually made my way to Meijer and when I stepped out of the car, I saw that my passenger rear tire was nearly flat.   I was stunned as I didn't recall it feeling flat before.   I decided to do some quick shopping and then I reached out to Dom and our Rev.   I called the Rev earlier because I wanted to drop some of the food items at the Church so we wouldn't have to lug a bunch of stuff over on Sunday.

I couldn't change my tire because my trunk was full of groceries.  Dom wasn't able to get to me because he was feeling constrained by his catheter plus he needed to go to the Walgreens close to our house to pick up some prescriptions related to his current ailment.

So I relied on the kindness of the Rev to come get the groceries (especially the perishable ones) so I could get to the spare tire.  Before the Rev arrived I spied a Discount tire not far from where my car was disabled.  I walked over there trying to see if it was possible to repair my tire.   They said they would put me on the appointment list for getting my car done.   

So when the Rev arrived he picked me up outside of the Discount Tire and then drove over to my car.  He even wound up changing my tire which I was going to do after loading most of the groceries in his car.   I had him take the groceries back to the Church and I would follow later to pick up the groceries that were for Dom and I.

That wound up being $360 and 5 1/2 hours later.   It ended up of course that I would need to get a new tire.   That wound up being $180.   I then wound up spending another $120 or so on warranties for each tire.   The donut on my car also was in bad shape and needed to be replaced.    It's the same donut that came with my car so it was old.    But Discount Tire does not do donut tires so I'll need to figure out where to get one.

It definitely was not the way I planned to spend my day and I ended up charging more than I planned to.   It's put me almost $200 above where I wanted my payoff balance to be.     But I still will pay it off this month (well next weekend) even with whatever extra comes in.     But it's crazy how life throws so much at you that you have to find some way to deal with.

I have no idea if I hit a nail or glass in the road.   But I haven't had much luck with tires over the years and this incident dampened my mood.   I'm praying for a smoother time though a part of me worries that the other rear tire may bald faster due to a possible imbalance in pressure from the new tire.   A mess.    But at least it's under warranty now.

Newest Angel

 Sometime on the evening of July 12, 2023, Dom's younger sister Marina died.   I got the text message from Marina's younger daughter Lexie.   I had the task of sharing the news with Dom.   He was of course saddened by the news but at the same time relieved that she was no longer suffering.   Marina suffered most of her life dealing with the effects of Lupus and no doubt the Lupus may have accelerated the rate at which the pancreatic cancer took over her body.

Dom shared with me that Marina had bad choices in men.   Her husband was in the army and the family thought at first he was a good guy until it was found out years later that he gave Marina chlamydia before their wedding.   It was also found out that he was abusive to her.   The only good thing that came out of their marriage was their daughter Ava.   Ironically her husband died in a motorcycle accident the day after Ava was born.   He was basically horsing around on the motorcycle and wound up crashing the cycle.   The other good thing was that he had full military benefits which was passed to Marina and Ava.

So then Dom told me about the other guy in Marina's life.   She never did marry him because if she did, she would've lost the military benefits from her deceased husband.    But Dom told me that the other guy and Marina were involved in various scams and that other guy spent all of Marina's money on frivolous items and once he spent her money, he moved on to other women that had money.    He left Marina with Lexie.    And like the husband, apparently he and another woman he moved on with, abused Lexie.    It was a messy tale.

Despite the odds Marina made a life for herself and her daughters.   She defied the odds with having two children when doctors didn't think she would be able to have kids.   They also didn't think she would make it to her 18th birthday but she almost made it to her 52nd.    She was an artist and sold many drawings over the years of various fantasy characters, some of which were used in different Dungeons & Dragons games.   She even took Ava and Lexie to different D&D conventions.   They spent most of their lives living in the Florida panhandle before moving back to Indiana to live with Dom's parents in the extended part of their home.

Marina was always nice to me.   I remember the first time we met she asked me, why Dom?   LOL.   Sometimes I question it myself.    But of course I fell in love with the good qualities Dom has.   He has both book smarts and common sense.   He has a calming presence even when I'm stressed out.   He's shown through his actions that he does love me which made my love for him grow as well.

She told me that if Dom and I broke up that she would retain custody of me.  LOL.   She really was the sweetest.   It's definitely sad that she's gone.   She wanted to be cremated.   I'm not sure if they will have a service or not (and not sure if there will be more obit drama...LOL).    Dom's Mom mentioned that they may just have a small family gathering at the house to remember her and that she would take Marina's ashes with her when her time comes.

Interestingly enough I messaged Lexie to let her know if there was anything I could do to let them know.    Lexie told me that Dom's Mom said to just take care of Dom.    With all of Dom's health issues, she's afraid of losing him too.   I told Lexie I would but I was mad at myself for missing a prime opportunity to throw a dig back (even if the timing may not have been appropriate).

As I mentioned before it was Dom's Mom that didn't want my name included in her husband's obituary due to their belief that marriage is between a man and a woman.   So I missed the opportunity to say, "taking care of Dom is part of our marriage contract".    I'm wondering how she would've responded to that.    But it's okay.   Despite that drama I still love his Mom and I know she loves me to in her own way.

Litterbugs

Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

INTRO:

Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug

VERSE:

You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky-high
When your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang-bang-bang
'Til my feet do the same
But something's bugging me
Something ain't right
My best friend told me
What you did last night
You left me sleeping in my bed
I was dreaming
But I should've been with you instead

REFRAIN:

Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go
I don't wanna miss it when you hit that high

Wake me up before you go-go
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo
Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high, yeah yeah

I've definitely been in a blogging mood these days.    I'll see if this keeps up.   Today's blog is a historical first for me.    It's the first time I've used the same song lyrics in two different posts that I'm aware of.   The last time I referenced Wham's Jitterbug (well...I mean Wake Me Up Before You Go Go) was in one of my January 2022 posts where I was nervously anticipating Day 1 at my not so new job.   It'll officially be 18 months I've been working there when the end of July hits.   Despite the stress I am so grateful to have a decent wage and I am on track to officially pay off all of my credit card debt with my next payment this month.   I'm so excited to hit that milestone and will be working to tackle the mortgage next.    My goal with the mortgage is to ideally pay it off within three years.   I don't have an exact date but I'm hoping sometime in 2026 to completely pay it off (and that's assuming life doesn't kick me in the butt to derail those plans).

So today's entry will be of a rant nature.   It's about the damn litterbugs that are among us.   I don't get people who feel like the Earth grounds is their personal dumping grounds.   I see it when I drive, idiots that toss their cigarette butts out the window.    It's okay for them to pollute their bodies with nicotine but heaven forbid they have to clean up the ashtray in their car.    I see garbage whenever I walk anywhere in town.      Worse there are idiots that dump their trash in front of our house.   The one that makes me scratch my head is the bottles of liquor that I'll occasionally find right near the grassy area by my garage.   I don't know if it's haters that are living in the apartment complex a few blocks down.   There is a liquor store near the main part of town.    Are these idiots buying some vodka and just drinking it on the way back to their apartments and then they just happen to finish it near our home and dump the bottle there?    Is it some idiot driver that is throwing garbage out the window as they speed their way down the block?

Dom and I live in a corner home on our block.   It's a blessing and a curse.   The good part is we only have one neighbor to the left of us.    There's a home across the street but it's mostly vacant.   There's a gentlemen that periodically checks on the house but noone is living there full time.   But the bad part is when idiots throw their garbage, it usually makes its way to our area.     It pisses me off everytime I head out and there's a lovely piece of garbage that is floating somewhere on the lawn.    It makes me hate people all over again.   I wish these idiots weren't such litterbugs.   Sure the garbage has to ultimately go to a landfill somewhere but that doesn't give these idiots the right to just toss the garbage anywhere.    What is wrong with people?   The list, no doubt, will be too long.

Speaking of idiots, unfortunately one of our neighbors was affected by another neighbor idiot the evening of the 4th.   Some idiot was blowing fireworks (which no doubt provides more litter) in the area and the sparks from one of them burned down the neighbor's garage.   Dom and I were in bed that night and from my window I was seeing red flashing lights from the fire department.   Normally the lights disappear but these lingered.    I got up and saw there was a scene on the block with several fire trucks and other folks lingering around watching the chaos unfold.

I tried to watch it from the mud room but we have a bunch of trees that provide nice privacy but was blocking most of what was going on.   I wasn't about to go outside to see what was happening.  I eventually went to bed and then walked around the block the next morning to see the neighbor's garage burned down.    Apparently the neighbor had a bunch of tools and furniture there.   There's already a GoFundMe account that was set which I donated to but I'm hoping the neighbor had insurance on the home that would cover repairs.    The good thing is that noone was injured but I hope they can find the idiots who did it and make them pay.

Gotta love America...LOL!

The Midas Shock

 So as I've mentioned before Midas and I periodically keep in contact with each other to see how things are going.   Hemingway I confided in Midas about how hurt I was regarding the recent passing of Dom's father and how his sister Marie likely was the person who didn't want me included in the obituary.  

Well it turned out that I was wrong.   It was actually Dom's Mom who didn't want me added.   I felt horrible about thinking it was his sister but thankfully I didn't have the conversation with his sister so no foul, no harm.    Oddly enough I'm not as bothered by his Mom being behind the request.   She's been nothing but nice to me over the years.    Apparently she's of the school of "love the sinner not the sin"...LOL.   Of course I don't agree that being gay is a sin but there isn't a way we'll be able to change her mind, just like she wouldn't be able to change my mind.

Nonetheless the omission did cause Dom to be hurt.   I do feel his pain and at the end of the day he had to balance not hurting his Mom any worse than she was feeling about losing her husband, which was why he didn't push it further.   Thankfully I was able to sign the guestbook after all as well.

So I shared this update with Midas as well.   He made the comment that if something happened to Dom, the family may treat me horribly.   I pointed out to Midas that I would call the shots since Dom and I legally wed last July.

Midas was stunned by the news.   I realized that I didn't mention my plans to him.   There was a small part of me that held out hope that Midas and I may have married (assuming we actually were in a relationship).    But marriage was not anything he ever had any interest in.   Plus Dom and I have been together for almost a decade before deciding to marry.   Sure I fantasized about Midas running to me and declaring that he was wrong for letting me walk away all those years ago and that he realized the errors of his ways.   Then he would sweep me off my feet and we'd make passionate love.   But in reality I didn't imagine Midas would make some grand gesture like that to try and "win" me.   If he did, I ultimately would still have chosen Dom since I love Dom despite all the issues we have.   Midas and I would have our own set of issues if I went to him.   The grass always seems greener on the other side until you get to the other side.

A part of me will always wonder, what if.   I truly do feel like Midas was the one that got away.   But I can't live my life on what if's.   I love both Dom and Midas and I am grateful to have both in my life. 

No Glove No Love

"No Glove, No Love!" was a slogan that came out in the 80's when the AIDS epidemic first took root.   It was an effort to encourage more condom use in the hope of reducing the number of HIV and ultimately AIDS cases.   Glove of course is slang for condom.

So since I was heading to Detroit, I reached out to Lansing Bae to see if he wanted to meet up once more.   My biggest concern from our last encounter was that there was no glove but there was still love.   See what I did there...LOL.

I suspected that Lansing Bae would not be happy with me requesting a condom and I was right.   He immediately argued back that he's not able to get hard with a condom.   He next said that he test regularly for STDs including HIV.    He also mentioned being on Truvada.  We both shared our status which was negative.

Needless to say when the day came for me to head to Detroit, I didn't hear a peep from Lansing Bae.   So I guess that little tryst is through.

Maybe I'm old school but I've always been a proponent of condoms and it seems like a lot of guys these days do not use them.   The biggest reason they don't want to is because they say they are on Prep.   Pre-exposure prophylaxis is the use of medications to prevent the spread of disease in people who have not yet been exposed to the said disease.    So the idea is that if you don't have the HIV virus in your system, Prep is supposed to prevent the virus from forming.   But the medicine says itself that it reduces (not eliminates) the chances of getting HIV.    So it's possible that a person on Prep could still get HIV.

According to this article, there was one patient who was part of the PREP study who did wind up contracting HIV despite being on PREP.    But the same article debunks any failings with the drug itself by saying folks who tested positive either didn't follow the rules for dosage or were already positive when starting the drug.

But aside from HIV, there are many other STDs that one can get from unprotected sex.    While most of those are treatable, there have been stories of STDS that have become resistant to antibiotics.   I did hear that they are trying to develop a Prep that works for other STDs as well.  Even if that's the case, I don't know how comfortable I would be in taking them.

Prep meds like Truvada also have various side effects like other medications do.   These include headaches, rash, nausea, vomiting, and weight loss.    More potentially harmful side effects include kidney or liver damage as well as bone density loss.    I guess you have to weigh the risks but for me the meds aren't worth the risk.

Plus I've already stated the challenges I have in hooking up with guys.  It's not like I'm having sex on the daily so taking a daily medicine that "reduces the chance" of contracting HIV is not something that I feel would benefit me.   Nonetheless it's one more obstacle that makes it difficult to find a hookup.    Maybe I should hang it up but the urge is still there.    So for now I just have to navigate my way through these choppy waters.   Fun...*LOL*.