Sunday, September 10, 2023

Hobo-Sexual Season

 I never knew there was a term for a bum that floats from place to place, never having a place of their own.   I learned from Uncle Walter today that it's called being a hobo-sexual.


Apparently the fall season brings out the Hobo-sexuals who promise to pay some rent if you let them move in but most times they end up sleeping on your couch, eating your food, using your water, and not contributing to the rent.    Uncle Walter shared a hilarious story about a text he received from a hobo-sexual who he knows at the gym that needed a place to stay and promised rent.

Most hobo-sexuals use their looks to help get them through the door.    They make all these promises but fall through and then you have to jump through hoops to get them out of your home.   The closest I came to having a hobo living with me was that one guy I briefly dated sometime in 2010 or 2011 (I don't think I blogged about him) that I found out was living with a friend "temporarily" while looking for a job.

I should've ran away soon as I found out but he favored the comedian Kevin James who I had a crush on at that time so I stayed.   The friend he was living with got annoyed with KJ because he still hadn't found a job yet and I imagine the friend was probably annoyed that KJ met me and had me over his apartment.   He did find a job briefly in a sales role but wound up quitting it the next day because he had to take care of some emergency (can't remember what it was).   I remember when KJ told me that, he said "oh yeah, the guy told me I could come back anytime to work again."   I don't think even I believed that one.

The times we did go out I always wound up having to pay for dinner or lunch.   I remember one time we went out he did offer to pay since he said he felt bad I was always paying.    But when he presented the server with his card, the card came back declined.   That was embarrassing.   LOL.

A few weeks later I remembered getting a frantic call from KJ telling me that his friend kicked him out because he still didn't have a job and he asked if he could stay with me.   I have a hard time saying "no" to folks but I told him I'd have to think about it and let him know.   I was a bit torn because I wanted to help him but at the same time I didn't want to be caught in a messy situation.   What if he didn't find anything and then I have a difficult time throwing him out.

 I immediately called Sally first and then Eugene.    Both of them were adamant about me not letting him stay.  I think they would've killed me if I agreed.   That gave me the courage to call KJ and tell him that I couldn't honor his request.   He was disappointed but understood as he continued his journey back to his home state of Kentucky or Ohio.    He called me a few days later and said he was living with his mother and that she was taking care of his finances.   

As I'm reminiscing about my time with KJ, I do sincerely hope after all these years that he was able to get his life together.   Maybe he's a millionaire now and I totally missed out.  LOL.   Guess I'll never know.

Thankfully that was the only time I recall I found myself almost in a hobo-sexual situation.   Uncle Walter had me cracking up with how the hobo-sexual whether male or female, use their attractiveness to try and find shelter and never seem to have anything going for themselves other than their looks.   I could never imagine living my life that way.   Well my parents taught me early on to work on being self-sufficient and I took those lessons to heart.   The hobo-sexual either never got that lesson or chose to ignore it.

 Anyway let this post serve as a warning.   Watch out for the hobo-sexual.   Don't let him or her move in with you (even if they provide good sex).   You'll regret it later.    This ends the public service announcement.  LOL


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