I've mentioned a couple times about Dom's spending habits. He did cool off for a spell on his doll purchases in recent months. Unfortunately his spending reared its ugly head again in the last couple weeks. There have been boxes of doll stuff arriving almost daily since that time in our household. It's been so frustrating seeing him regress back to old habits.
He keeps ordering more crap but isn't making any effort to sell any of the other crap that he no longer plays with. Instead our house gets more and more hoard-ish with the shit that he has. Seeing it sprawling in the hallways, bedrooms, and even in the dining room and living room has left me so disgusted.
One of the things I opened my eyes too was seeing how many things my parents accumulated by the time they were in their final years. It was up to my sisters and I (well mostly Trina) to sort through and eventually get rid of all my parents' stuff after they died. I told myself that I didn't want to have anyone having to weed through a lot of my shit when my time comes. I do actually have some stuff I need to weed through as well but my stash is nothing compared to what Dom has and continues to accumulate.
It just boggles the mind that he continues to do so when he has so much debt. One thing I was glad he did again this year was forego attending in person his biggest doll enabler's event where he would spend more money. I have a work-related networking event (which is not sponsored by my job...LOL) that's happening in June (the trip once said and done will probably cost me between $1500- $2000 depending on whatever excursions we do.) that he'll be tagging along with me instead. The enabler was not happy I imagine when Dom told her that and then had the gall to attack the current payment arrangement of $100 a month that I've been making to try and pay off his debt. I was a bit pissed thinking she's lucky to get that since Dom hasn't been doing anything to try and pay it off. Plus I don't know what he owes and he says he has an idea but won't tell me so I refuse to pay any more than I have to. I've paid over $3000 of the $4000 that I know of. Beyond that I don't know what he owes her.
But any progress he made there was lost when he decided to enter a lottery for the chance to pay for a trip to some other doll convention this coming October. It's still weird for me thinking of lotteries that if you win, you have to pay for the prize. Apparently that's a thing in the doll world. I was praying he wouldn't win but "of course he did"...LOL. He's trying to convince me to tag along but I'm not sure I want to go. Though unlike the other event, I would not be included in any of his doll activities and would have to entertain myself (which may not be a bad thing). Actually for my work-related thing, Dom would have to entertain himself as well. Luckily one of his doll buddies lives in the area so at least he'll get to hang with him.
Instead of trying to pay down what he owes, he continues to spend what little money he earns as a teacher buying more crap.
So of course for other discretionary fun things we do together, I have to pay for both of us. It's not that I mind as it is nice to have someone in my life to enjoy things with, but it feels like he's having his cake and eating it too. I have to be responsible for the mortgage, electric, gas, and other household stuff and any entertainment we do together and he spends most of his money on buying more crap and not thinking of paying any of his bills. I wish we could switch roles for a month so he can see how it feels.
We actually do have quite a bit of things that we're doing in the next several months. We're seeing two different shows in Chicago during the month of May, one of which he was dying to see (but of course wasn't making any effort to save for...LOL). In June we have my networking trip which we will get to enjoy a day together before heading back home. In July and August we're heading to Shipshewana, Indiana to see two different show (both of which he wanted to see). All of it of course is being funded by me.
I hate that I'm sounding like a negative nelly though. Dom has had a rough time of it in the last two years with his health issues and losing his Dad and younger sister less than a month from each other. I do thankfully have a good paying job (for now) and I am able to pay off my credit card debt in full every month now. So it does feel good to be able to do things that we both can enjoy.
But as I've learned during my last layoff, nothing lasts forever. I have no illusions that I may wind up being let go again when it's in the company's best interest to do so. So I'm continuing to try my best to try and be more financially independent. Ultimately I do want to enjoy life more but I want to be prepared for those rainy days and to ride the storm. Alas though it's been a lonely endeavor as I'm solely responsible for us both. I do hope I continue to keep making strides.
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