Dom completed part one of his carpal tunnel surgery last Wednesday on his left hand. The hospital needed to reach out to him prior to confirm on his medications and previous health conditions. Since he works at school (when he goes), he's not able to answer his phone. So I had to make time to take the calls in the midst of my work fun.
I felt horrible because I wasn't able to remember every detail of the different surgeries he had and why. I mistakenly said he had a gall bladder removed when it was actually his appendix. He also had the turp for his enlarged prostate which led to him post-surgery having blood clots that affected his breathing. I needed to remember all this and felt frustrated when it didn't come to me right away. I had remembered the clotting but forgot that happened because of the enlarged prostate surgery.
One of the things I loved about my Mom was her uncanny ability to remember every medication and surgery that my Dad had over the years. She did this even through dealing with her own health issues with Parkinson's. I was not measuring up at all. I love Dom because he was so forgiving of me.
Dom and I started discussing the possibility of having a "younger guy" be part of our family in anticipation of myself eventually having more health issues. Dom worries he wouldn't be able to take care of me like I have for him. Of course it would have to be the right person who is there for the correct reasons. I worry about someone trying to take advantage of the situation. It would be nice if they exclusively were with us. If sex is on the table I wonder if Dom would watch us or even participate. As I've mentioned before, Dom and I haven't had sex in almost eight years.
Where would we find this person? Are there websites that cater to this kind of arrangement? I already have a regular thing with Anthony. But Anthony is around Dom's age and he has his own health issues here and there so he wouldn't be ideal. Midas falls in the same scenario as Anthony. He's two years younger than Dom.
Doug would be ideal. He's a year or two younger than me. But unfortunately he's shown that he is not dependable at all. It's going on four years since we last met up. The times I've tried to meet up with him he claims to be so busy. Dom and I had some rearranging we wanted to do in the house. I tried to see if Doug could come over and help with that and by proxy introduce him to Dom. But he did not commit to a time to do this so my trust in him is broken. Another strike is that he has a dog and we're not dog people.
Maxwell, the younger black guy that I met a couple years ago would be a potential. But he moved to Indianapolis for a job. So he's out. But I haven't chatted with him in awhile. I should message him to see how he's doing.
But is it fair to get a third just for the potential of having someone to be a caretaker? Is it fair on that person? Dom and I do not have family nearby as well so we're a bit isolated. It's a sad situation to think about. Plus if we get a third person and they live with us, our house needs to be decluttered in a big way so the third would have room for his stuff. I have some things to get rid of but Dom has the majority of the crap in the house. The sad thing is the house is pretty spacious with 4 bedrooms and 1 1/2 baths with a semi-finished basement. But every inch of the house has junk in it. How is that possible?
I just realized the irony of us talking about a potential third when I mentioned recently about a situation where I was considering being a potential third to another couple. It does seem to be a more common discussion among gay couples these days.
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