My Stockholm Story

 

I saw this random post from a friend on Facebook depicting a story of how a teacher shared a video with the class and asked everyone to take notes.   Then after some time the teacher accused a student who was taking notes of not taking notes.   The student insisted he took notes but the teacher said he didn't.  Other students tried to defend the student but were pushed back by the teacher.   Eventually the teacher sent the student to the office. 

The incident was supposed to be a lesson of not letting others tell you they didn't see what you saw with your own eyes.

The story made me think about an incident that happened to me when I was 8th grade.   It started with me checking out a book about the Olympics.   I don't remember why I checked it out but I noted that the book had lots of damage, including pages being unglued from its frame.   There was a return basket in the library where books could be returned and I placed the book in the basket once my time to check it out was over.

So it was about a week later and the entire class was sent to the library for whatever reason.   While I was sitting at a table with some other students, the librarian and my teacher came up to me and pulled me aside.   They asked me why I damaged the library book.   I told them that I did not damage the book but that it was messed up when I checked it out.   They kept saying I was lying but I was adamant that I did not damage the book.   In fact I was extra careful not wanting to damage it further.

By then other students were listening in on the exchange.  It was back and forth with my teacher threatening to report the incident to my parents and I would have to stay after school.   I remembered thinking I've never been in trouble where I had to stay after school or be reported to my parents.  I didn't want my parents to have to come to the school and I didn't want detention so I relented that I did the damage even though I didn't.   I knew I didn't and even said so to one of my friends at the time who asked afterwards.   But it reminded how someone could bully a person enough to have them change their truth even though they know that's wrong.

Thinking about it years later, I wish I was strong enough to let the teacher tell my parents and stay after school.   I know Papa especially would believe me if I said I didn't do something.   I told myself that if I ever had kids, I would tell them to always stand up for their truth in school and have them reach out to me if they receive pushback.  I would also encourage them to take up boxing or karate so they could defend themselves from bullies.    Alas I never had any kids and it's not likely I'll have any in my remaining time on Earth.   With the way the world is now, I'm actually glad not to have any.    I can't imagine all the shit kids have to deal with today.   Hell you don't even know if your kids will make it home from school without being shot at.

With the 2024 Presidential Election being less than a week away, I can't help but wonder what is the truth between what Kamala Harris and Donald Trump is.    Donald Trump has said and done so many dumb things.   Plus he's a convicted felon.    Yet poll after poll keeps saying that the election is neck and neck.   It's hard to believe that half of the folks who vote support Trump and his wacky sofa fucking running mate Vance.   It makes me wonder if the polls really are true or if they're wanting to rile up both camps to get more votes.   Is the media pulling the wool over everyone's eyes and making us see things that aren't there?

I am praying that Kamala wins.   I just don't know if the country can survive another Trump presidency.  Dom and I plan to early vote this weekend.   I can't wait to see if the polling folks are the same and act like they did last time we went to vote.   Whatever they do I'll be ready to cast my vote for Kamala.   We'll know one way or the other next week.

In other news I ran into a former acquaintance that I wish I didn't see.   I saw Jose standing at the corner of Wabash and Clark waiting to cross Wabash in downtown Chicago.   Jose, henceforth known as Magic Mike, due to how our so-called friendship ended, was in workout clothes either I assume coming or going from the gym.   I was leaving work and crossing from Clark towards his side of Wabash and was planning to cross at Wabash as well.   But I quickly changed my direction when seeing him.    

I have a feeling that Magic Mike saw me as well but he was pretending not to see me and I did the same.   I kept walking down Clark and crossed over at Lake instead while trying not to fall or turn around.

It was more than 12 years ago that things ended between us (by his choice) but the memories of that moment in time came back like it was yesterday.   I actually saw Magic Mike a few times on one of the social networking sites and the GPS had him being about 600 - 700 feet from me.   So I knew he was in the downtown area.   I can't say running into him was a complete shock.   But still with the many streets of the city, I really didn't expect our paths to cross at all.   

I hate to say it but Magic Mike actually looked great for being almost 70.   But I know that brief paragraph in my life is over and won't be resurrected anytime soon.   Here's hoping I don't run into him again.

So What Happens Now?

 Some great news skills wise for me.   I successfully passed the Tableau Desktop Specialist certification exam.   I'm not going to lie, the exam itself definitely had me on edge.   Many of the questions required you to choose multiple answers.   In particular there were questions with three correct answers where I would know 2 of the correct answers right away but struggle on the third.    The total time given for the test was 60 minutes and I wound up using 54 minutes before finally submitting my answers.

I went to a small local testing center 5 miles away from my home.   After validating my identification, the proctor placed me in a small room with three desktops.    She then assigned me to the desktop on the far right.    I was given a notepad where you can quickly write down some formulas or other key facts before starting the exam.    Once you start you're not allowed to write anything else down.    You're also not allowed to have any personal items like cell phones, keys, or even your wallet.   You are on candid camera the entire time to ensure you're not cheating.

I was so glad I was in the room alone.   Even though I knew there was a camera, I found myself cursing under my breath at some questions, making faces, and then covering my eyes after submitting my answers, afraid to see the words FAIL after answering pages and pages of survey questions.   I can imagine the proctors getting a good laugh from the various antics test takers do.    When I saw the word PASS come up, I screamed but covered my mouth.    I definitely didn't want to have to retake it again and am glad I don't have to.

I kid you not, after leaving the test center, I sat in my car for about ten minutes just in a daze.   Of course I immediately went to my phone to notify Dom and my sisters on my latest achievement.    I drove to a nearby grocery store with the intention of getting some items for dinner but couldn't really focus, only buying some Albanese sour gummies.

So now I come to the end of the Pathfinder program.   I'm definitely hoping a better paying, skillful job is in my future.    I told Dom that if nothing happens, I may have to look for another program.   Of course Dom gave me the side eye.    *LOL*

It reminded me of Lynn Searcy (played by the lovely Persia White) from the hit UPN show Girlfriends that came out in 2000.    She was the perpetual student that had over 8 different degrees but no job.   Lynn basically had no real focus and floated through life mooching off her other girlfriends.   Of course obviously I'm no mooch.   Thank goodness I saved during my working years (that and my severance helped for sure) but I'm definitely reaching the end of my rope and need to boost my income.

With that said, as much as I hate my Amazon job, assuming I finally get that corporate job, I would like to stay at Amazon for at least another two months before dropping it.   I would take the extra small income to rebuild a portion of my savings.   Also there's always that three week gap before you get your first paycheck since at minimum companies want you to have one week's pay once you leave.   It's a pain in the butt waiting for that first check.   Still getting the small check from Amazon would help.

So graduation from the Pathfinder program will be a virtual event on November 17th.   It's definitely a bittersweet moment.   I can say I feel like I connected more with some of the students via Pathfinder than I did in the cybersecurity boot camp I took in August 2020.    As cliché as it sounds, I was able to bring my authentic self in the program and that went a long way in helping me learn and feeling accepted. 

Here's to that next chapter.    What's it gonna be?

Back On The Hunt

 So I'm halfway through my training for Tableau.   There were some bumps along the way in doing the training.   There was a change in proctors for the actual certification which meant that the # of questions on the exam was changing as well.   The previous version had 30 questions which included access to Google for researching and testing of building graphs to answer some questions.    The new version has 45 questions w/o access to Google and no graphs.   Those who signed up on the website to take the training prior to August 1st would take the test with the old proctor and those after August 1st would take it with the new one.   Since we signed up after August 1st, we would be taking the new version.

We received a welcome email from Tableau which did give us links to the new proctor that included a free voucher for the exam.   Unfortunately though the other links provided was for the old version of the training.   Also there was a confusion over which version of Tableau to use as they frequently upgrade and there was an upgrade specifically for the new testing.

All the confusion caused stress for myself and a lot of the other students.  Thankfully one of our Salesforce instructors was instrumental in getting things straightened out.   

As for Tableau itself, it's definitely a very robust tool with lots of functionality.   I pray that I can remember enough to successfully pass.    We do get two free attempts.   I'm guessing after the second I'll have to pay for it (though maybe the Pathfinder program may have more vouchers...no clue and hopefully it won't get to that).    The cost though is cheaper than the Comptia cert exams, $100 versus $329 so at least that would be manageable if I had to retest.

So I'm also at the point in the program where I need to resume my job hunt.   That has been a nightmare as I've previously mentioned.    I applied for over 60 positions after successfully completing my cyber security bootcamp and maybe had 5 actual interviews in that time (and that's being generous...I only recall 2).    It is disappointing hearing about the supposed shortage in cybersecurity roles but the tight vice that industry has in bringing new people.   I'm not looking forward to the whole applying and interviewing process.     But I'll have to buck up.   I actually do have an interview tomorrow with a hiring manager at a major company.    We'll see what happens.

Also I'm excited because I'll be visiting my family later this week in Detroit.   The last time I was in Detroit was last Christmas.   It'll be good to see my Dad, Trina, and hopefully Tasha will get a chance to drop by.    She did promise to possibly bring some food.    I plan to visit my Mom as well at her resting space.   I do miss her a lot and she's constantly on my mind.   It is weird though.   Even though I think about her a lot, I haven't cried for her since her funeral.    I suppose I did get some closure and I am comforted by the fact that she's not suffering anymore.   I like to think that she's watching us from above (well except for any private moments...*LOL*).

Also I'll get a chance to see Sally who I haven't seen since she lost her cousin to cancer about a month before my Mom lost her battle.   So it's been almost 2 years.   Sally's Mom who I've become close to over the years as well is turning 80 years young.    Her Mom decided to host a party at one of the area parks.   I'll need to pack a chair for seating.    I was contemplating possibly bringing my Dad with me.   But I don't know the logistics of the park the party will be at and how far parking is from where they'll be at.   Plus my Dad has a hard time walking so I don't want him to have walk very far.    So I may have to table that suggestion.

You Picked A Prime Time

 I broke a cardinal rule a couple threads down in mentioning my current place of employment.   I normally keep specifics out but in this case I felt Amazon is a large enough conglomerate that I need not worry.   So Amazon had their Prime days on June 21 and 22 this year.    According to their news it was one of their most successful to date.    To handle all the extra volume, associates are required to work an extra hour during Prime.    So instead of 10 hour days it was 11 hours.    It definitely was extra tedious as always but I pushed through it.    Thankfully since I'm only working part-time, I only had one day of impact.   But while working there I'm on my feet a little over 9 1/2 hours of my 10 hour shift.    By the time I get home I ache all over and can barely move.   Dom makes dinner and I somehow manage to wash the dishes and have about 30 minutes downtime to surf or play games before I'm ready to crash.

It's the hard knock life for E these days.   But I do realize that things could always be worse.   No matter how bad it gets, it's better to make a tiny bit of income than none at all.    But I haven't given up on getting a better paying job.   Interviewing has been a bust so the next best option is to pick up new skills.

For years before I got laid off from my analyst position, I had been curious about cybersecurity.   I keep reading about how there's this shortage of professionals to combat the increasing threats of cyber criminals.   So after my second contract job ended I was thinking of going back to school to get a master degree in cybersecurity.   But then I had this nagging feeling about accumulating student loan debt (aside from unfortunately accumulating huge credit card debt...uggh).    At the time I was 46 years old and the thought of having to pay student loans well into my 50's and possibly 60's was not an appealing thought.   

I had thought about Western Governor's University.   At the time they were touting a lower cost alternative to the traditional college program.    They charge a flat rate every six months and during that time you can take as many courses (one at a time) in that time period.    The courses are related to the degree and it's a pass/fail system.

But I procrastinated and didn't go that route.   And then there was COV-ID.   I did have the Amazon job and didn't lose my job like lots of people did.   But those first few months not knowing much about COV-ID and suddenly being deemed an "essential worker" it was scary going into work.   Eventually we were given masks to wear on our faces.   And I pushed through it and still am.

I learned about this academy that had cyber security bootcamps.   At the time I was working with a caseworker from Indiana's Work One program.   Work One gave me help with resume building, interviewing skills, and job leads (though a lot of the jobs were ones I weren't necessarily interested in).   My caseworker mentioned the particular academy that I ultimately joined.   There was some funding that Work One would provide to help cover costs but I would have to cover some of the costs as well.   In the hopes of getting into the course, I completed some pre-work for the bootcamp and even attended an orientation.   Unfortunately Work One wasn't able to agree on funding and I was unable to participate in the program.

As it happens I learned about the Cares Act that was made law in 2020.    The academy mentioned that the Cares Act would cover $10000 in cost and unlike previous acts, it included a provision that folks who already had a college degree could still be covered.    I also had an additional credit for attending a free orientation.    In the end I would have to cover $2500.   I felt like it was a great opportunity and they mentioned providing support afterwards in seeking employment.

So the bootcamp was about 24 weeks.  It was a grueling experience and the goal was to obtain two certifications, Network+ and Security+.  I fell short on passing the Network+ exam and in order to get to the cyber lab portion and successfully complete the bootcamp, I needed to pass Security+.   It took a lot of studying but I did successfully pass and I did complete the bootcamp.

But getting the job was another story.   As I learned the reason they push Network+ as well is because for a lot of folks you don't get that cybersecurity job right up front.   You have to start in technical support apparently and maybe after a year or two, it may lead you to an entry level job.   It's disappointing having that reality especially when you keep hearing that there's this shortage.   But these companies want you to have all this experience beforehand which obviously you learn over time.

So I wound up taking a different path.   I saw an opportunity being advertised to learn Salesforce for free.   The program is being ran and sponsored by employees at both Salesforce and Deloitte.  I had heard about Salesforce before but I never had the chance to learn about it.   There was an online application that needed to be filled out in order to be considered for the program.    There were a few questions that were asked in the application.    Assuming my application caught their eye, the next step would be a 45 minute online interview with a Salesforce employee.

My application passed successfully and I had that interview.   I had a great vibe with the interviewer and I did my best to express my excitement to learn about Salesforce and ideally find employment.   But I didn't think I did enough.   Interviewing is my Achilles' heel and apparently I've been falling short for the longest time.    It's just been frustrating to not find anyone willing to take a chance on someone who gave over 20 years of his time to one company and proved to be a loyal committed employee.   But that doesn't matter it seems these days.   In fact it seems like job hopping is the way to go.    But I'm not bitter.   Much.

Alas I did get that callback...finally.   I did get accepted into the Salesforce program.   That's where I am today.   So far I'm four weeks into the program and so far so good.   The best part is that it IS totally free including them covering the costs of 2 Salesforce certifications.   That's a good thing too since I'm still paying for the cyber bootcamp (last payment should be in December 2021).   I'm praying that I'm on the right path.   But I won't give up.

I will say that Dom has been my rock (LOL...not Rock for anyone who remembers him) through it all.   Even when I'm feeling negative he always has a positive spirit and tells me I can do it.    Or that I got the job even if it doesn't happen.  I guess he's the Winnie to my Eeyore.

So we'll see where things take me.