Disappearing Acts

Shalamar - Disappearing Act



Verse 1:
I never shoulda let you in my heart and that's a fact
Cause you gave me your love followed by a disappearing act
An illusion of love
That's all you were right from the start
Those promises in the dark 
Don't matter if you were just playing
Your magic touch really knocked me out
But like Houdini you were gone when I came around
Oh baby!

Verse 2:
I never shoulda let you in my heart and that's a fact 
Cause you gave me your love followed by a disappearing act
I got myself to blame 
I should know enough to come in out of the rain
You led me to believe that our need for love was one and the same
Hook, line, and sinker I bought your act
You had me too involved before I knew all the facts
Your words they left me mesmerized
You fed me lies and I swallowed every line
Oh baby!

Refrain:
I never shoulda let you in my heart and that's a fact
Cause you gave me your love followed by a disappearing act
I gotta find the part of my soul that you attract
What keeps me around is trying to solve your disappearing act

Bridge:
First your love puts my head in the clouds
Once you're sure that my life is in a tailspin
Then you're gone like the wind (te hee yeah!)

(Disappearing Act!) - repeat 5 times

Bridge 2:
Hook, line, and sinker I bought your act
You had me too involved before I knew all the facts
Your words they left me mesmerized
You fed me lies and I swallowed every line

Refrain 2:
I never shoulda let you in my heart and that's a fact
Cause you gave me your love followed by a disappearing act

Ad libs:
Yes you did
(Disappearing Act!) 
But that's alright uh-huh
But you're gone like the wind
(Disappearing Act!) 
(Disappearing Act!) 
I gotta find the part of my soul that you attract
What keeps me around is trying to solve your disappearing act
I never shoulda let you in my heart and that's a fact
Cause you gave me your love followed by a disappearing act
Cause you're gone
Gone like the wind
Gone like the wind

(Disappearing Act!) - repeat till fade

Why is it when it comes time to pay the piper the guy always disappears.    It isn't a new phenomenon for me.    How it goes is you chat with a guy and you think things are going well.   So inevitably you set up a date for meeting.   But then when you try to find the guy to firm up on plans, he's nowhere to be found.    It seems to be happening to me a lot lately.    It's annoying to say the least.

I wish men would grow up already.   But then again there's that whole grass is always greener on the other side equation in play.   While a guy may promise one person to meet he may really want to meet another.   I guess that's why you can't take anything a guy says seriously.

And what's worse you can't be angry about it because you really don't know the person.   Confront them and they will say that you're being too dramatic and that outburst will give them  reason to tell you 'have a nice life'.    And that is exactly what they want.   To put the blame on you even though they are the ones that are in the wrong.

I'm so sick of the bull.    But not much you can do.

Something Old

So hope you guys enjoyed reading that last entry.   I unfortunately had the pleasure of visiting a dud restroom at a banquet hall last night that if this atrocity was at a casino would've been rated quite lowly by the "Straightflush" experts.    The urinals were three tiny units all close together for maximum penis viewing, which in my case might've been pleasurable depending on the guy behind the penis.  Rimshot.  (HA!)    To access the urinals you had to get around the giant sinks.   I wish going to the urinal was all I had to do.   I sadly was shooting for a different number and there was only one toilet in the bathroom.   It wasn't occupied but it had some lovely drop deposits from previous visitors.   I grimaced as I spent ten minutes wiping and putting at least 10 layers of toilet paper on the seat.    In the meantime I heard guys coming in some wanting to hit the toilet.   To make things less pleasant, I was courtesy flushing away, which of course meant my ass was exposed to the nasty water.   The dryer for the hands was next to the door for the stall which made for more awkward moments for me as I was bombing away.   It wasn't a pleasant experience at all.   I shouldn't have drank that 7-Up or partake in all the tasty desserts.  

E final ratings:
Number #1 overall  - 3 stars
Number #2 overall  - 2 stars (only cause at least there wasn't crap in the toilet)

Okay...now that I got that out of the way.

Sally invited me as a guest to her holiday party at the earlier mentioned banquet hall.   It was interesting seeing her co-workers in various states of dress.   A lot of the women really dolled it up and the guys for the most part were appreciative.   The men in the meantime ranged from wearing pimp wear to business casual.

There were a few pieces of eye candy for me but this one bearish type guy sitting in the next table caught my eye.   He didn't know I was alive of course.   Sally caught me staring at him and told me he was a loser.   I told her I would only be interested in a quick romp Hemingway.   Turns out he's a manager that works in her department that also moonlights as a bouncer at some straight bar and is actually straight.    I noticed how he walked by where Sally and I were sitting three different times without saying anything to Sally.    In my dreams he was checking me out on the side.    Hopefully he didn't follow me in the bathroom since he would've heard more than he was bargained for.   *LOL*....sorry I went there again.

Hemingway they say that if you don't learn from history that you're doomed to repeat it.    They also say that life is too short and to live each day like it's your last.    I always wonder who the elusive 'they' is.    Also is the same 'theys' that coined each phrase.    Guess we'll never know.    But that doesn't stop the things that happen in our lives.

So I'm logging onto one of my "social networking sites" last Friday night.    No date for me par the course and unfortunately Ryan turned out to be yet another dud.    I guess he wasn't comfortable outside the virtual confines of texting.    So I'm just half looking at profiles when I get an email from a blast from the past.   Winifred who I first chatted with in 2005 saw me and shot me an email.  

He remembered my face but not quite my name.   I remembered his (of course).   I had to recall what happened back then.   Aside from my entries where I was juggling him with another a-hole, we did meet three separate times.   The last one I recalled went nowhere when I wanted to get to know him more but he was looking for more of a quick hit.   Which actually we never did (amazingingly...*LOL*).   To clarify we didn't go all the way.

So of course he doesn't remember why we lost contact but he told me that we should keep in touch.   I told him sure.   I'm sure it'll go the way of all my other encounters with guys.   But one can never tell.

Flush Time

I'm going through a blog dry spell again.   It's not uncommon for me if you've been a fan of my previous blog.   In the meantime here's an interesting blog rating various restroom facilities across various casinos, appropriately called The Straight Flush.    Some of the pics captured were shocking.

Anyway peruse at your own risk while I snap myself out of my spell.

Virtual Comfort

Eugene was telling me about a guy that he has been emailing back and forth with from one of his social networking sites.   They seemed to be getting along well.   So they exchanged numbers.    Then they began texting.    After a few days of texting back and forth, Eugene sent a message saying that they should actually talk on the phone sometime.    He didn't get a text response to that suggestion.

The next day Eugene decides to call anyway.   The guy doesn't answer.

I admit there is a comfort level in using technology as a buffer in communication.   I'm guilty of doing that as well, especially if I'm not sure I want to take things further with a particular guy.    Also there is the fear that an actual conversation may not last as long talking as it does texting.     And then the other guy would lose interest completely.

Eugene raised the possibility that maybe the guy didn't want to talk on the phone because he wasn't truthful about some aspect of his life.    Maybe he's seeing someone and can't talk.    Maybe he's a she.   *LOL*

Ryan and I are at a similar virtual impasse.   We've been texting for close to a week though I've noticed he's been slowing down his responses to my texts.   I suppose there's only so much texting one can do.  I realize too that realistically since we're not at the commitment level, I can't expect us to keep texting at the rate we were texting.    We both had our separate lives before the text fest began and of course we still do.

With that said I'm ready to take our "budding acquaintanceship" (I guess that's a word...*LOL*) to the voice level.    I'm not sure if he is ready for that but someone has to make the move.    It might as well be me.   I am nervous though due to the reasons previously mentioned.    But hopefully my fears will be unfounded and we will have a decent phone conversation, assuming he answers.   Ahhh that's the rub.   At least I hope he has voicemail set up so I can hear what he sounds like.

As for Eugene he sent a text to his perspective guy the next day and of course he texted back later.   I guess some folks are more comfortable living in the virtual world.

Something New

I swear this month has been flying by so fast.   I can't believe it'll be Thanksgiving in a couple days.   I'll be making my annual trek to Detroit for the holiday to see the parents.    Speaking of Detroit, they've been going through financial hard times like other cities in the U.S.    Its neighbor Highland Park apparently removed all the city street lights in an effort to save money.   Crime be damned.    It's a scary situation for the residents there.   And sadly Detroit doesn't look like it's far behind.

It's fueling my feelings on trying to get my parents to get out of Detroit.    My Dad is open to living closer to my sisters in a nearby burb but my Mom wants to move closer to the hospital they go to in the city.    It's a mess.   Needless to say I'll be broaching that subject again this holiday season.

In other news I've been connecting with a handsome IT consulant online and via text messaging (well sexting depending on how you interpret the messages).   Hemingway Ryan as I'll nickname him lives in St. Louis, MO, which is about 5 hours from me.    It would be a long distance relationship if things even went there but it would be more doable than my fling with Madro, who so far hasn't really been all that communicative to me.    There's Amtrak, Megabus, the airline, and the car of course that can connect us within hours.

Of course I'm being way premature when I say the words 'long distance relationship'.   I'm just hoping we get through our first meeting and still have a desire to meet again afterwards.    So many times I've chatted with guys and it seems like we hit it off but then things change after that initial meeting.    But the optimist in me remains hopeful.

It's still amazing after all these years that I'm not more jaded than I am.   I mean I know not to expect the world and I temper my "eager beaver" attitude a lot but I still am hopeful with each new guy that something will be different.   We're tentatively planning to meet the 2nd weekend of December in his hometown.   He also mentioned that he may be working near me for a few days on a project.   If that happens we could meet up then too, whichever comes first.    I wish we could do it sooner but I'm visiting family for Thanksgiving weekend and the following weekend I'm going for a meet and greet in Tampa that I can't get out of.   But hopefully our sexting ways will continue.    It's going on 4 days so far.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

Something Blue

A few days before my trip to Spain, I decided to visit my family in Detroit.   I figured if something unforeseen happened on my trip, I could at least say that I saw my folks beforehand.    So the trip was mostly uneventful save for an announcement.

My Dad had a few health issues this year that have slowed him down.    The first one was a case of Sciatica.   It was so bad for him that whenever he walked, he would have to crouch half way down before he could move.   As a result he hasn't really been able to run his errands like he normally does.   

Trina was feeling the brunt of having to care for my parents and was feeling resentful of my other sister Tasha since she pulled a disappearing act when it came time to help.   There's no doubt a lot of unresolved issues between Tasha and my parents.   That could take up a whole nother entry so they won't be mentioned.   

Plus since I'm over 300 miles away it's not as easy for me to assist.    That in itself has made me feel guilty.  But to alleviate Trina some I took my work with me to Detroit for one week so I could help take our Dad to his physical therapy appointments.   

My Dad started improving somewhat in the sessions and was even able to drive himself after a couple weeks.  But then he hit another setback.   It started with him feeling very exhausted when driving to a local Micro Center store.   He could barely walk a few feet without feeling out of breath.   Trina ended up taking him to emergency where it was discovered that he had a blood clot in one of his lungs.

So he was in the hospital for a week getting treatment and recovering from that.   He afterwards had to be put back on blood thinners and every week a nurse came to the house to get blood samples from my Dad to make sure his blood levels were normal.   My Mom had to administer several shots of blood thinner to my Dad each day.   So he got past that and now has to take blood thinner pills indefinitely.

So my current visit found him doing better and full of ideas of what I should do while in Barcelona.    He was suggesting catching a ferry to Morocco.    But from what I was able to gather, it would take almost half a day to get there and I would need at least two days to get a sense of the area.   Plus from what I heard, Morocco isn't the best area as far as visiting but rather Tangier gets that honor.    He also wanted me to find him a Spanish beret to add to his growing collection of hats.    But that in itself wasn't the big announcement.

The announcement of the weekend came from none other than Trina herself.   She came by after work on Sunday to pay the family a visit.   Earlier this year Trina and her fiance experienced a loss of their home to a house fire.   The house luckily wasn't a total loss and thankfully they were able to get out of the house okay.    While repairs were being done they stayed at a temporary house that unfortunately was the barest of basics. It had no air, a lot of the place was dirty (including clogged jet heads in the bath), and the landscaping left little to be desired.     It took about eight months of repairs to get the house ready but they were able to move back in around end of September.    But that wasn't the announcement.

It turned out the announcement was a wedding date for Trina and her long term fiance.   She told us that the event would take place May 19, 2012.   I congratulated my sis and was thinking of the irony that my youngest sister would be the first of us to get hitched.    In talking to her though she's mentioning how expensive renting a hall is.   The minimum price she's seen is 10K and renting a yacht is even more pricey, almost 40K.   It has her thinking about just going to Vegas and getting hitched.    

My attitude is you definitely don't want to go into debt paying for a wedding so maybe an alternative location like Vegas might not be a bad idea.   We'll see what the final verdict is.

Slot Fever

I found myself a new hobby.    About nine months ago while enjoying another hobby (I bowl for a local gay league), one of my teammates invited me to go hit Ameristar Casino.   I'm not a regular casino gambler but despite not ever winning anything of significance, I thought it'd be fun to hang out.     I even went up and got my first membership card from Ameristar.    Staying true to form, I didn't win anything on that trip, spending about $50 in playing various slots.

Fast forward to today and I've been to more than a half dozen casinos.    These include Grand Victoria, Harrah's Joliet, Blue Chip, Firekeeper's, Four Winds, Magestic Star, Horseshoe, Hollywood, and Potawatomi (or Pochantas as I affectionately call it).   Of course I can't forget the newest addition to the casino family Rivers.    I've even joined a slots forum to share my experiences with other slot players.

Each of my visits I average losing anywhere from $40 - $200.   I do enjoy playing the slots and I have had temporary wins that I've wound up giving back.    My friends think I might be an addict.  Maybe I am.    I do get lured back whenever I get promos for free slot play.   But all it takes is that one elusive jackpot and I'm back on top.    Or maybe I just enjoy the pretty flashing lights.   LOL...yeah that's the ticket.

Reality Bites

I'm back from Europe and am slowly adjusting to being back at the job.   I wish I were back in Madrid but it's just as well since I was running out of Euros.    My biggest challenge returning was dealing with London's Heathrow airport.    It served as my one stop between Chicago and Barcelona and later Madrid to Chicago.  I thought having a 90 minute layover would give me enough time to navigate to my next gate.   But unfortunately I didn't account for needing to take a shuttle bus to a different terminal, going to two different security checks, and ultimately on my return trip taking an additional tram train to my final gate.   I barely made my flight back.

The highlight of my British Airways flight returning was watching a couple movies that I missed in their theatrical releases.   My first movie choice was X-Men The 1st Class.   I admit it added some much needed layers to the X-Men story and the initial tight friendship between Magneto and Professor X.    I also enjoyed the softer side of Mystique and understood her internal struggle.    The second movie choice was Moulin Rouge.   I got a kick out of the main characters storyline even if it was a tad bit predictable and felt they all did good with the material they were given.   Nicole Kidman especially I thought was great and kinda wished the movie didn't get completely panned.   I almost cried towards the end but had to keep myself in check since I was on a plane.   I then popped an episode of Community to make me laugh.  

Those, some decent airline food, and a nap helped make the 8 hour flight go by quickly.   The next challenge after that was dealing with US customs in Chicago.    Though it wasn't as bad as when I got back from Toronto a few years back.

Jose was there to pick me up and his timing was perfect, he pulled into the pickup zone just as I was coming out of baggage claim.    I admit I was worried about whether or not he would still pick me up.    But we had chatted briefly while I was in Madrid on my fling with Madro.   He said he was just messing with me.   He had feelings for Madro years back but they became good friends so all was good.

And it's a good thing.   Apparently Madro has Michigan connections and plans to visit his family around the Christmas holiday.    Madro said he'd like to meet me again while we're both in Michigan.   So the saga continues there.    Who knows?   I may visit Madrid again sooner than I think.

Till then it's back to work.

Dumb Luck

I've been in Madrid since Monday the 17th but two nights later, this is the first night I've actually spent the night in my hotel room.     Yeah I sorta met someone via my friend Jose.    As dumb luck would have it, I made the mistake of telling Jose that I spent the night with his friend Madro (didn't tell him about the 2nd night and probably won't) and now I think he's mad at me.    I had forgotten that Jose had a crush on Madro a long time back (we're talking more than ten years ago) but Madro had turned him down.  

When I emailed Jose about my time with Madro and Madra and mentioned the tryst, he immediately replied just saying he'd call me in five minutes.   So he called me and when he confirmed what I said, he didn't believe me since he said Madro always liked younger guys.   But when he realized what I said was true, he cut the conversation short basically saying that it looked I had things under control and that he would talk to me later.  I felt a change in his voice and I realized that I made a big mistake.

I should've known the cardinal rule of not messing with your friend's friends even if nothing happened between said friends.    I had forgotten that he mentioning having a crush on Madro so it was insensitive on my part to mention sleeping with him.    I was so used to being able to tell Jose anything that I forgot that there are some things that should've been left unsaid.

So I contacted him today after seeing him online on a common social networking site and he didn't reply to my message.   What's worse is that he's supposed to pick me up from the airport when I get back to Chicago.   I guess I shouldn't be surprised if he completely bails on me.

I really messed up big time.   Simple as that.

The thing is I had no idea that Madro and I would hit it off so well.   I mean he kept making little jabs calling me chubby when I met him along with his lovely hag Madra.    Madro was hitting on the young waiter that was serving us at the tapas place pretty hard too.    So I assumed he was into younger guys.

He trapped me into asking me to guess his age at one point.   I tried to get out of answering but he wouldn't let me get away so easily.   So I told him he looked about 45 and then he kinda got pissy and said I looked 50.  *LOL*.

But he got over it really fast after exchanging a few more jabs at Madra and myself and then flirting with the waiter.    I was definitely attracted to Madro.   He kinda reminded me of a hotter Ted King.  He had this air of confidence about him that was very alluring.    It was amazing how quick on his feet he was with every quip thrown his way.   So when he invited me afterwards to hang out for another drink, it was an offer I couldn't refuse.   I mean it's not everyday I get the attention of a really hot guy.  

He suggested possibly going to a bar but Madra wasn't up to it.    Problem was that Madra was visiting and staying at Madro's so he would have to go back to his place to drop her off.   So the three of us head back to his place.   He lives in a nice midrise townhome.   We walk inside and Madra excuses herself to go into her room.

Madro in the meantime flips the script and mentions there aren't any real good bars near him but we could either have drinks at his place or head out.   He had a few drinks (about 6 glasses of wine I heard) already and he seemed to went to stay at his place.    I went along with it.

I knew where things were heading as we sat in the dark in his living room.   He laid down on one side of the couch and invited me to relax on the other side.   He started massaging my feet and it felt really nice.   He then starting kissing and lightly biting my feet.   Mind you I walked a pretty mile in them but I guess they weren't too foul.   In the meantime I was massaging his feet and walking my hands up his shorts.  

Moments later he came up by me, took off his clothes, leaving on his sexy draws and kissed me.    I kept asking him if he was sure about where we were going even though we were near the point of no return.    Since he had a few drinks I was worried he'd hate himself and me in the morning.   Also hello it's not like I'm that hot.

But he poo pooed all that and the show went on.   And what a show.   I admit he had a brother wondering if he should relocate but I know that's not realistic.   Though I can't help but think about Madro, my Madrid fling.

I hope I don't lose Jose though.

Meal Appeal

I just got back from having the most wonderful dinner.    I have to say it's a keeper as far as locales in Barcelona to eat.    Vinya Roel in Barcelona doubles as a wine store so you could buy a bottle of wine there to enjoy with your meal.   I will admit that the servers were a bit pushy at times with their suggestion of items but overall aside from that and the occasional language barrier, I had a pretty nice meal.    And I could get used to not tipping.    It was weird at first but I admit it's nice not having to figure that out.    I'll let the pics speak for themselves.

Oh...and sealing their deal on being a fancy place, their restrooms had wash clothes you could dry your hands with instead of paper towels or a dryer.    Only thing missing was the bathroom attendant to hand you the towels.    So since he was gone....

My Foolish Superhero

I'm killing a bit of time in my hotel room in Barcelona. While doing so I came across this interesting article regarding a self-proclaimed Seattle superhero. Superhero Phoenix said he was breaking up a fight but apparently one of the people he sprayed attacked him back and the group said they weren't fighting.

I have to admit he looks dashing in his costume. I always have a soft spot for a guy willing to put his neck out there to save people. But it seems to be a foolhardy thing to do, even if he had a friend and camera crew following him. I mean I don't know how wise it is to put yourself in a situation where things can turn around on you in an instant.

And apparently earlier this year Phoenix received a broken nose from another altercation he broke up.

He looks kinda cute though. I'm gonna need him to be more careful in the future.

Another Year In The Life

I'm starting a brand new life here in Barcelona. I've had to make lots of adjustments to my attitude due to the change of culture, language, people, and locale. Since I made the dramatic change to my life, I thought I'd start anew (yeah again, again...*LOL*) with another blogspot. Different blogspot, different location, same ol' E.

One other change that I've had to adjust to is the change in umm, change. The Euro which actually as of this writing has gotten weaker still wound up costing me a pretty penny to convert my U.S. dollars. Pop quiz: Can you spot the two American coins that are in my picture above?

I don't think there's a 2 cent U.S. coin but there is one in the Euro. Another uncommon one is the 20 cent euro. Also instead of dollar bills, you have 1 euro coins. And the two dollar bills also has a two euro cousin. It makes the task of giving change slightly harder to navigate, lest someone gives you a 50 cent euro instead of a 2 euro.

There are times I question myself for leaving Chicago. Actually that's a lie. I've never really questioned it only because I'm also lying about relocating to Barcelona. Yeah some things never change. I had to do something big to introduce myself back to what's left of the blogging community.

But as of this writing I am vacationing in Barcelona. It's my first ever European trip. I gotten all kinds of advice on the trip from my new friend Jose. Jose and I met over a year ago initially as a hook-up. It was good enough for another followup hook-up. But after the second one, we actually began to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. He's a few years more than half a century old but looks much younger and definitely has a healthy appetite for sex. He's become quite invaluable in my life, offering me career, personal, and of course trip advice. It's been nice having another constant gay friend in my life besides Eugene. He offers me an additional perspective on situations. Plus he lives not far from me so we've been hanging out quite a bit together around the town.

So yeah this year's birthday trip starts off in Barcelona and ends in Madrid, with possible side trips to Sitges and Toledo (not Ohio). The hardest part about this trip is adjusting to the language. Barcelona has the added distinction of having Catalin as its primary language with Spanish being secondary, so it's been a bit of a struggle for me. But thankfully for the most part, Barcelonians (I guess that's the right term.) have been generally nice to me despite my messed up Spanish.

Traveling alone is nice mostly because I control the when, where, and how long aspects of my day. But the hard part for me sometimes is eating alone, especially when everyone else that's there seems to have a date, family, or friends with them. It reminds me once again that I still haven't found boyfriend #2 since my time with Rock ended almost three years ago in December 2008. So clearly "Date and Dash" didn't quite work out for me. One of the best moments of my relationship with Rock was our traveling together to New York (despite the rocky road to get to that point....*LOL*). Eating alone reminds of how much I miss those times.

To add fuel to the fire, I inch closer to the inevitable big 4-0 on October 15th, hitting 39. I can't believe how fast time is flying. On the bright side, I'm reluctantly grateful to still have a job (yeah at that place still....LOL*). It'll be fifteen years there April 2012, assuming I make it. The company I'm at has been a lot of layoffs in the last couple years. Somehow I've managed to hold on for the time being and thank goodness, with the stock market (and effectively my 401-K), taking a nose dive. And of course my crappy penny stocks are barely holding on to their pennies.

It's a wonder I've contemplated having kids this past year. How the hell can I afford them? Taking care of them alone at that. My hat is off to all those doing it alone. Even with a partner, how did my parents afford my sisters and I? Hmm.

On the kid front, the two options I've been looking at primarily at are surrogacy and co-parenting. The main advantage of surrogacy is more control over raising your child (especially since I'm alone...*LOL*) but that same advantage is also a disadvantage. In addition there's the whole cost factor. There's actually a surrogacy clinic I've contacted that is in the Chicago area that has the concept of overseas surrogacy, which is cheaper than having a US surrogate. But even that runs almost 50K for one child. Co-parenting main advantage is having another person sharing responsibility for raising a child. Again that main advantage can also be a disadvantage, especially if you both don't see eye-to-eye on certain issues. There's also the need to split time between the co-parents over who has the child. That could also be good when you have a good set-up as there would be a break (though you never really are on break as a parent, I hear...*LOL*) in when you can have 'me time'. And of course finding the right lady (or ladies assuming a lesbian couple) to co-parent with can be tough. A hookup and occasional chat buddy I have shares co-parenting duties with a lady for their two children and he's constantly bitching about how she handles certain situations. Surprisingly though he wants more kids but the thing holding him back is the thought of having them with his current co-parent since his preference is for the siblings to have the same DNA.

Yeah so that's pretty much in a nutshell my life. Ironically I feel like my 1st blog pretty much ending once my parents found out officially I was 'gay' seemed to be a nice segway since my old blog was my life as a closeted gay man in my 30's whereas this one is about my life as a somewhat old (I mean out...*LOL*) gay man about to enter my 40's. Time for me to rest up before enjoying some Barcelona night life.