My current company makes it a point to talk about equality and encouraging different opinions. In fact equality is one of my company's core values. They're not perfect on it but they do make sure to bring discussions up periodically. As part of supporting equality, there are multiple "equality groups" where individuals with similar backgrounds, be they latino, asian, african-american, gay, or disabled can meet and hold various events throughout the year.
I will say that I've wanted to participate in some of the events, especially the african-american and gay events since I identify as both. But I tend to be a wallflower and working mostly remote has encouraged those tendencies. The groups do give the ability to attend meetings virtually but I haven't participated in any of them.
I think as I get older I do find myself getting deeper in my shell. I know though that I need to break out of it if I want to grow. It's been something that's plagued me since growing up. Mama told me once that I used to talk so much when I was a little kid. I talked so much in fact that she used to sing a sweet little song to me called "You Talk Too Much"
I had to look up the song as I've never heard it other than when Mama sang it to me. It's giving me goosebumps hearing it.
But then the pre-teen years came along and the former talkative kid went into a shell. Being teased and harassed by bullies will change a person. I shouldn't have let outside forces change me but there you go. I've discussed the effects of that in various blog entries over the years. I will say I'm glad that bullying and the effects of it are being talked about more these days instead of being brushed aside as "part of growing up" like it was when I was coming up. I wonder how my life would've been had it been talked about back then.
Those experiences pretty much shaped my life. My preference is to stay in the background even as my manager keeps forcing me to put myself out there. I don't like attention being brought to myself even if it's positive.
My manager was talking with me today on strategies on how to be up for a promotion in 2024. It seems like too much butt kissing but we'll see where that goes. As part of my growing responsibilities, I was part of a panel that interviewed perspective new employees. It was something that I hated but I pushed through it. I now am acting as a "mentor" to 4 of those new employees. It's not something I enjoy but I guess it's part of pushing me out of my shell.
Getting back to the Equality groups, the African-American group is having a "Friendsgiving" type event next Thursday after work to provide fellowship and networking opportunities. Every fiber of my being is not wanting to go but a small part of me is pushing me to at least try. It just so happens that one of the four mentees is an African-American guy that I believe will be in the Chicago area for his orientation that week. It may be a great opportunity for me to have him participate and then have a person I can pair up with. We'll see how that goes.
I think I will participate. I'll force myself to stay at least for thirty minutes. Fingers crossed.
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