The Heat, The Heat

 Toni Braxton - The Heat

Intro
Yeah
La-da-da-da-da, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Verse 1
Where's the sand, I'm set
My body? Thumping, going pitty pat
Getting tan and wet
And when I feel the beat, I lose control of it
Oh baby, I'm feeling you, I must admit
Looking tight and fit
And I imagine you and I in...

Chorus
Summer bodies shaking to the...
Music's going through ya
Can you feel the heat, the heat?
The heat is moving through your body
Temperature is rising
Can you feel the heat, the heat?

Verse 2
Sleeping in till noon
Been naughty, put bubbles in the swimming pool
Skinny dip for two
And as you feel the rhythm taking hold of you
Ooh Papi, I love it when you ooh-eeh-ooh
And I'm hooked, it's true
I imagine you and I'm in...

Repeat Chorus

This song used to be the bomb when Toni Braxton's album titled by the same name came out in 2000.   The song was supposed to depict the hot chemistry between two people that causes things to get hot.   But as I reviewed the lyrics, I couldn't help but laugh at the one line "Been naughty, put bubbles in the swimming pool".    Did the bubbles derive from some farting that was taking place in the pool?  That's definitely not sexy.   I guess as long as you're not pooping in the pool, all is good.   Maybe that's why the chlorine is needed.

Hemingway the song popped in my head due to the unseasonably hot and humid weather that's descended on Chicagoland this past week.    It's days like these that make me long for the central air I used to have in my first home.    When it reaches 100+ degrees outside, the house feels every bit of it.   I completely hate it.

Dom insisted on visiting his Mom this past weekend and wanted me to go.   I really wasn't keen on going but he kept pushing it.    At least he decided to drive this time which was almost a plus.   But his Mom's place was as miserable as ours and I couldn't get 100% comfortable, especially when I saw ants crawling freely in the home. 

While there Ava told me about a product for ants that can be placed outside to eliminate them around the home.   Something called Spectracide Ant Shield Outdoor Killing Stakes.   I honestly was not sure why she was mentioning those to me.   Maybe she's heard Dom talking to his Mom about my aversion to bugs.

I definitely do want to look into it since our area is plagued by ants and they have come inside the house as well.   I see that Terra has their own liquid bait stakes that they sell for outside.   I actually have bought the indoor ones before and they work so well that you stop seeing ants within 48 hours.   So I may purchase that one as well and start planting them along with some granules around the perimeter of the house.   Anything to keep those buggers at bay.

But anyway the heat has been so unbearable.  I feel stinky and sticky all the time.   Going into the office has been the worst as I wind up being sweaty by the time I arrive.    At least I can wash my face up a bit once I'm in the office.   Only bad thing I notice, the water reeks of the Chicago River smell.   But it makes sense since the water is coming from the Chicago River and our office is near there.

I've been noticing I've been pooping a lot more as well since it's gotten extra hot.   Dom told me that is normal when the temperature gets hot.    But I hope it stops.

Summer is definitely in full effect.   Unlike Toni's song, there's nothing sexy about this heat.   It's going to remain in effect for at least another week.   We did get a bit of relief Tuesday but the temps start rising again.

Speaking of the heat, my stock Blackberry has been heating up in the positive again.   They had an excellent Q1 2026 and their main product QNX is proving to be a short-term and long-term money winner.   Total revenue from QNX was 57.5 million which was up 8% year over year.  The price has been rising again from the ashes again as a result.   I try not to get too excited though because it seems BB just can't keep their price momentum going long.    But the company has also been buying back stock (so far they've purchased 10 million shares) which helps increase shareholder value.   I'm very hopeful that I'm in the right horse and it'll pay off in dividends by the time I near retirement.

This post is officially a milestone post.   It's my 200th post since I've started my second blog.   It's not an overly impressive number considering I started this blog in October 2011, so almost 14 years ago.  I did have a six year hiatus where I didn't blog.    However I've made a lot of positive strides since starting up again in 2021 to try and post more about my life.   It's been nice keeping track once more on my highs and lows.     Here's to another 200 posts ahead.  With the pace I'm going, I hope to get there in another 3 - 4 years (God willing).    I'm grateful to continue to have a place to share my thoughts.   Till next time.

I Love Some Molly

When referencing Molly I do not mean the synthetic drug.    I'm referring to the actress by the name of Molly Culver.   I first was introduced to the actress on the late 90's guilty pleasure show V.I.P. that I used to religiously watch on syndication when it aired on the weekends.   The show featured Pamela Anderson as Val Irons who finds herself being thrusted in the world of bodyguarding after a random star meets her at a hot dog stand she worked at and invites her to a Hollywood premiere.   The star gets threatened at the premiere and uses Val as his personal shield.   To save face he tells reporters that Val is his bodyguard.   Meanwhile a struggling bodyguard agency which Molly as Tasha Dexter is part of somehow runs into Val at the same hotdog stand after they see the story on the Hollywood premiere.   They have the idea to hire Val as a figurehead in the hopes of reviving their dying agency which it hilariously does. 

Tasha Dexter is the no nonsense former KGB agent whose hobbies include gun shooting and sharpening her many knives.   Tasha and Val were often at odds with each other throughout the series.   Tasha would get pissed whenever the police would credit Val for solving cases.   Val is the happy go lucky character that dumbed her way out of many situations and the show often played into their frenemy relationship.

I grew to love Molly's character as the series progressed and Tasha quickly became my favorite character.    I even picked up one of her character twerks.   Whenever someone would refer to Tasha's background in the KGB and ask if it's something she picked up at the KGB, she would famously reply with the word "maybe" trying to be mysterious.   I would use that line a lot when Dom would ask me about stuff and I even got him using it to mimic me.

I've had a chance to reacquaint myself with the series since Roku TV has all the episodes available.   I remember being so bummed when the show was cancelled after it's fourth season.   But I imagine it got expensive to produce after a while.   They had a lot of celebrity clients guest star as themselves over the years including Jay Leno, Morgan Fairchild, Marie Osmond, and Erik Estrada (used to have a mad crush on him).

I believe what drew me to Tasha Dexter was her no nonsense approach to handling conflict.  She could hold her own in a bar fight.   Her dominant personality is what drew me to her as a gay man.   It's that whole complex I joked about in the past in my infamous Star Jones roasts.   Basically my attraction to Molly is due to her character's no nonsense personality.   Tasha was strong enough to take no flack from anyone but there was a shortage of eligible straight men that wanted to deal with the drama.

Molly Culver's career however didn't really take off after the show ended.   She's had very few roles after that and no breakout role which is a shame.   But she had her greatest role from what I read being a mother to her only child, a son Sonny.   

When randomly searching on Molly Culver, I came across a random site that hosted an interview that her son did on his Mom.    It's a voice recorded one that sounds like something that may have been done for a school project.

https://archive.storycorps.org/interviews/molly-culver-interview/

It was such a short and sweet interview where Molly reiterated that the most important event in her life was the birth of her son.   Towards the end she teases that she hopes Sonny has lots of grandbabies which reminded me of my favorite show Half & Half where Phyllis would tease Mona about wanting grandbabies.    Speaking of Phyllis and Mona, both actresses I believe had a reunion on a Netflix comedy Family Reunion that Telma Hopkins occasionally guest-starred on.   I still haven't seen the episode yet but I'm almost at the end of that series and I believe that episode is near the end of it.   It's a cute show though it's not one of my faves.

But I'm happy to see that Molly Culver seemingly is in a happy marriage and raised a family.  Her son was born in 2006 and is actually a young adult himself now.   Time does march on.

I'm so glad I'm able to watch V.I.P. again since they only released Season 1 on DVD years back.   I've been watching an episode on Saturdays and I get to share it with Dom...LOL.   Watching the show definitely takes me back to my late 20's when I was living single in my first home in the Northwest burbs of Illinois.   The whole cast had great chemistry but I'll always have love for Tasha Dexter.

Sunday Follies

 Dom as of late has not had any energy to do anything outside of staying at home.  His neuropathy has been pretty bad and it takes all his energy just to get upstairs and shower and get dressed.   He usually needs my assistance to put his socks and shoes on.   But Dom had a rare moment this past Sunday where he actually wanted to get out of the house.   He even suggested us going to the casino together where I can play some slots while he walks around the casino.

There was one catch though.   Dom does not believe in me losing money and is of the school that if I'm even up $10 I should leave.   I keep telling him that there is no guarantees of winning.   I would say 95% of my casino trips are ones where I've donated (nicer way of saying I lost money...LOL) to keep the casino's electric bills paid.   If I'm honest, it's closer to 99%.   Leaving with a decent sum of money is a rare thing and days like I had last Thanksgiving is extra rare.

It's rare that Dom accompanies me to the casino.   When he does, we're usually out of the casino in less than 30 minutes since he's bored once he makes his lap around the casino.   But I noticed an interesting thing when Dom goes with me.   It seems that my odds of leaving a winner increases.  Yesterday was no exception.   We went to the Four Winds Casino in New Buffalo, MI.   Pretty much these days it's the only casino I go to (mostly because the Indiana casinos are smoke filled and the Illinois casinos are money pits).   Plus Dom likes the layout of Four Winds better.

The first machine I went to called Brazil I was playing on $40 free play on.  I managed to get two bonus games on the machine and scored a quick $180 win on.   I moved around to a Wings Over Olympus game.   I have not had any luck triggering the bonus on that game at all in the last couple years.   I'm not sure why this time would be any different but I decided to give it a try.

Dom found me while I was playing machine #2.   At the time I was up $160.   I knew the minute he found out I was up he'd want to leave.   He didn't disappoint.   I was able to play it down to $150 without scoring a significant hit.   It was then time to go.   Dom is like my conscious sitting on top of my shoulder telling me it's time to go.

I will say I do not enjoy my hobby as much when he's with me but I looked at the bigger picture being grateful that he wanted to go out.    He wanted to check out the beach and possibly get a walk in.  We weren't able to find free parking so we kept on going.

We were hungry and wound up stopping at Shoreline Brewery & Restaurant in Michigan City, IN for a late lunch.   I had an interesting moment when getting seated where I saw a gay couple sitting at a high table.   I caught one of the guys checking me out and then having the other guy check me out.   That guy didn't seem thrilled that his guy was looking at other guys and gave me a nasty look.   The two left soon after Dom and I were both seated.   Sadly Dom was oblivious to what was happening when I tried explaining.   Nonetheless it's nice to know that I still can occasionally turn heads.   I also had an encounter with another guy when I accidentally opened the door while he was coming out.   He was sadly straight...LOL.

We had a good dinner though the winner for both of us were their onion rings.   The batter they use on them is very good and crunchy.   It's quite thick and doesn't easily fall apart which is a plus.   Dom wanted an extra order which we took to go.   

Overall it was a good day.  I was glad that Dom wanted to venture out.    He wound up being tuckered out once we got home and napped the rest of the day away.    I may have drifted in and out as well.    It's so much fun getting old.

1st Of The Month

 

I remember when 1st Of Tha Month first came out in 1995, the radio stations would religiously play this song on the 1st of every month.   Of course they played it every day after that as well.    I will admit Bone Thugs N Harmony made some great jams but I struggled to understand every spoken word they said since depending on the artist, the enunciation wasn't clear.

Nonetheless the "first" 1st Of Tha Month since it's release was September 1st, 1995.   It was actually my first 1st living in the Washington D.C. area.   I was newly living on my own in my first apartment.   Sally was there along with Blanche, whom I talked about in a previous blog entry, and was our 2nd Mama while out there.   

I remember waking up to 1st Of Tha Month playing and it hit me especially when the day actually was the 1st.   Each month does give us a new "starting point" to begin anew with new and existing goals for the given month and year.   At that time I was struggling with my new role and learning about the expectations the client "Bell Atlantic" had for us.

With each subsequent 1st of the month, things got better and I was able to navigate through different obstacles that were thrown at me, mostly from the first company I worked at.   I still remember when my initial contract with Bell Atlantic ended, I used that time to travel back to Detroit and purchase my first car (a 96 black Chevrolet Cavalier).

When projects ended we were in a phase called being "on the bench".   Consulting companies in the 90's used to still keep their consultants between projects and paid them.   You would use the bench time to train and interview for other roles.   These days consulting companies place you and pay for you while on projects (if you get the job after interviewing) but once the project ends, you no longer were considered an employee of the consulting company and would have to start over again.   It's almost like you're a free agent with no support.   I experienced that first hand during my brief 6 month role in 2018 after being laid off.   I was disappointed that the consulting company didn't reach out to me at all during my time to possibly present other roles.   I didn't realize how good we had it in the 90's even in the midst of all the bullshit.   

But anyway while I was in Detroit, the project manager called me and wanted me to interview for a project in some other state that I don't remember.    I had to tell the project manager that I was Detroit which I remember she was peeved about.   She asked me if I had a suit with me if they were to pay for a flight to go to the interview and I told her no.   She was so mad but she said okay as she quickly hung up.    I did end getting my car and then I drove it back to D.C.

That period in my life was crazy.   I was worried after that incident that they would fire me (they didn't).   I was so glad I had Blanche, Sally, and the other ladies that were in the same boat as well to talk to and get advice from about our various experiences.   It was a coming of age moment for me.   And no doubt 1st Of Tha Month was one of many different songs that came out during that time period that brought my levity.

Here's to a new month and at the end of it, half of 2025 will be behind us.    I'm hoping we're all one step closer to reaching or accomplishing our goals.

Moore Than Alright

 

Dom and I had a great time attending Chante Moore's concert in Joliet's Rialto Square Theatre.   The inside of the theatre itself was very beautiful with interior architecture that reminds you of what you'd see in Italy or Spain.   We had good seats near the front of the stage which allowed me to take some great pictures.   Dom hadn't heard much about Chante before even though I have played some of her stuff here and there over the years.   But he was thoroughly impressed and enjoyed the performance.   

Chante puts on a great show and her band also did their thing as at various points in the show as she gave her bandmates a chance to shine.   Chante sang a lot of her hits from her first two CDs and others from her other CDs (8 in total).   She also sang a couple songs from her forthcoming album which will be her 9th.   She also has two additional albums that she did with her ex Kenny Lattimore.

There was one song I prayed that she wouldn't sing called Bitter off of what I call her "attempt at being more urban" project Exposed.   I winced everytime she sang the N-word in her recording of the song.    But Chante knows most of her audience and did sing it.   But instead of saying the offending word, she had the audience sing it.   I couldn't bring myself to sing that but I was singing along to everything else she performed.   She also did snippets of other artists songs like Tevin Campbell's Can We Talk, Quincy Jones In The Garden, and El Debarge's All This Love among other songs.   Overall we really did enjoy the show.

The journey getting there was interesting as well.   Since the show was in Joliet, which was about an hour and some change from us, we decided that we would eat something beforehand.    Dom of course had a hankering for Chinese so to appease him I tried to find some places along the way that served Chinese.   I looked primarily in Matteson, IL since our route was mostly along Lincoln Highway.   

I found a place but surprisingly Dom turned it down after not liking how the food looked in pics.   So we decided just to do a random stop (which I knew would mean a fast food place but it was alright).   Dom spied a Subway and we decided to stop there.

We ordered our subs, I did a 6-inch and the bread looked like it was smaller than that.   Dom opted for the foot-long.   We decided to eat inside the restaurant.   Fifteen minutes into eating this "homeless" guy came in begging for change.   Dom immediately went into attack mode but I foolishly thought I would give him a dollar.    I didn't have anything but a $5 but of course the guy was like I have change.   So he puts change on the table and after I give him the $5 he proceeds to take the change back and saying that he's homeless.  

All I could do was laugh and say 'ok, you got me' as he proceeded to walk away.   I resigned myself to being conned but treating it as my "good deed" for the day.   Dom did try to stop it but I had to be foolish.  I saw the Indian folks in the restaurant looking in at us from the back area.    They clearly had that character come in before.   We also couldn't help but notice they had a bunch of chairs strategically placed to block direct access to the restroom.  I'm sure they've had issues before with non-paying customers wanting to use the restroom.   Needless to say that is the experience of doing and patronizing business in the hood.  

It also reminded me of how blessed I am.  I don't know if I would survive out here in these streets hustling to try to make a buck.   I am blessed that I managed to hold a job and was able to save and find an affordable place to live.  Aside from my blood pressure, my health is fine.   My old car is still running fine.  I don't take any of that for granted.

As we drove on, I was annoyed as I saw other places that we could've stopped at to eat that would've been better.   But the Subway did provide sustenance so it was alright.

Parking itself was another issue.   It was mostly street parking with a few garages sprinkled in.   After circling the streets a couple times, I decided to park at the local casino Harrah's garage.   I did freak out when walking out of the garage as I saw a sign mentioning towing cars away that weren't patronizing the casino.   But Dom told me it'll be alright.   I did feel bad because Dom and I had to walk a few blocks to get to the theatre and Dom isn't able to walk as quickly.   I did wind up walking back to get my car (which thankfully was still safely parked in the garage) and resisted the temptation to go to the casino.   I then picked him up from outside the theatre.

We decided to visit the IKEA in Bolingbrook the next morning so we stayed at a local hotel in Bolingbrook for the night.    I got us a handicap room so we had a higher toilet seat and wider hallways to make it easier for him to navigate around.

The next morning I went to pick us up some continental breakfast to enjoy in the room.   I got us some Belgian waffles and a banana which tided us over till we left for IKEA which was 15 minutes away.

Dom saw a Michael's craft shop in the same area as IKEA so of course we had to stop there first.   Well Dom did and I was along for the ride...LOL.   We then made it to the IKEA just after 10am.   There weren't too many folks thankfully as we went through the aisles and ultimately spending just a little over $200 on various knick knacks and snacks.   We even stopped for some Swedish meatballs and mixed veggies for lunch in their cafeteria.

We then made our way back home but not before I made a quick stop at a Sunrise Health store in Lansing, IL to get Ice Cream For Bears, a natural brand of ice cream that is only sold in a few select stores.    Then we made it home.   

Thankfully I have a day off from work for the Memorial holiday so that gives me one more day to relax before getting back to the work grind.

Future Mini E

 Sometimes I find myself reflecting on my life and I feel sad.   Don't get me wrong.   I have lived a great life with a mostly good career, decent finances, plenty of travel and adventures, and I did later find love with Dom.   But the one thing I did not have were children of my own.   A part of me wanted to experience the ups and downs of fatherhood and hope that I did things right with my kids.   Dom and I actually expressed how we wished we had met 20 years or so back.   He himself wanted to have a family but didn't have anyone to have it with.   But would we have been right for each other that time?    We'll never know.   But I do feel that we were meant to be in each other's lives one way or another.  I shudder to think how our lives would've been had we not met.

2002 was around the time I began thinking of kids.   Part of that was my guilt of being the only son and not having a male child to carry on the family name.   But at that time too I was just beginning to figure things out about my sexuality.   I remember doing research on different surrogacy programs and hearing about one in India that for $20K upfront and an additional $20K afterwards, provided an Indian surrogate who would carry your baby in her womb and then after the baby is born, you would have to go through the process of bringing your child back into U.S. soil.     One of the interesting (and prejudicial after I gave it more thought) options they had was that for an extra fee, you could opt for a Caucasian lady surrogate.   Heaven forbid a white person wants to have a Indian lady carrying their fetus.

The cost pretty much stopped me from going that route.   Plus I didn't have a partner at that time so I would have been the sole parent.   Had I still lived in the Detroit area, I may have thought about a bit more as I would've had my family nearby (though I'm sure my parents especially would have a thing to say about that option...*LOL*).  As an aside, I confirmed last year that my current company offers money assistance for surrogacy support if a person wants to have a child.    If only that was a thing 23 years ago when I looked at the surrogacy program.    Who knows if I would've had an adult child now?   Obviously now I'm past the point where I want to have the responsibility of caring for a child.   If I were to start now, my future E would be born in February 2026 and by the time they turned 18, I would be 71 or 72 years old (God willing).

The second time I recalled wanting to have a child was when I was dating Rock back in 2006.   Rock and I of course had other issues but I did discuss the possibility with him.   Rock was in his early 40's and in his mind he thought it was too late to entertain the thought of having kids.   That probably was a good thing too since we wound up breaking up in 2008.

I didn't give up on the dream entirely after that hoping that perhaps in a couple years I would find a like minded individual.   That never did happen.   I met Dom in September 2014 and when we discussed kids he told me that he was not looking to start a family as he was too old (early 50's...where I am now).   I decided that I may not find the right person and just see where things took us.   Almost eleven years later, it took us to living together (2016) and marriage (2022).

I don't regret it though once in a blue moon, I think of what could've been.   Once my sisters and I leave this world, our specific branch will officially end.    But obviously it won't be completely gone as my parents' siblings had kids who had their own kids (and I'm sure some of those kids may have a kid...LOL).   So barring the end of the world, the family name will live on.

But it got me thinking that I wanted to reach out to Sally and no_the_game (who I haven't chatted with in a while) to see if I could gift the children in their lives with a small investment in some stocks or ETFs that will hopefully appreciate in price by the time they grow up.    Sally is the proud grand-aunt of three beautiful grand-nieces and no_the_game has a handsome son that's about to turn 11.   It would just be a way of leaving a small legacy and perhaps by the time they're adults, the shares could turn into a car fund or help pay for groceries.   I would not expect anything in return.   But I think it would be a nice thing to do.   I'll have to save up some cash but I think it'll be a good thing.

To my future Mini E, I'm sorry that I didn't get to meet you in this lifetime.    But perhaps as Erykah Badu would say, maybe I'll see you Next Lifetime.

Wisdom Recovery

I don't have much of an update today.

I made it through the oral surgery and I officially have my remaining wisdom teeth removed.   Dom took me on the 5th and thankfully everything went well without a hitch.    One of the positives is that I no longer have the bad taste in my mouth with the cavities.   I took off this week from work to recover from the procedure and am currently on my last day.

I thankfully haven't had a lot of pain.  I'm just trying to take it easy and I've been watching many Youtube videos on how to survive wisdom tooth extraction surgery and have been trying to follow the rules as far as steps to a quick recovery.

So that means I've been eating lots of soft foods like soup, applesauce, cottage cheese, and ice cream.   I just introduced some slightly more solid foods like peanut butter and jelly to my diet.    My plan is to ease my way back into solid foods by next week.

The time off gave me some time to write to Mitch as well.   I received a letter in the mail from him yesterday expressing concern since I hadn't written him since last August.   I didn't realize it was that much time but I do remember that he called me on my birthday.    Then my intentions were that I would write him but then life was life-ing.   So time went by.   

I'm glad that I was able to write him.   I just need to mail off the letter which I plan to do sometime this weekend.

I also had a chance to play with my stocks, hoping to get rich.   That didn't happen but I did sell one of my stocks for a 30% gain and put a portion of that towards more Blackberry stock.   LOL I swear I hope that one pays off someday.   They did recently announce that they are looking to buyback shares which will hopefully help the price go up some.

I also will work from home on Monday as well before easing my way back to my schedule which involves me walking to and from the train station.   I want to make sure my body is ready for me to resume physical activity again.

So much fun.   At least I should be ready for my concert in two more weeks.   

Sashay Chante!

 

Chante Moore - As If We Never Met

VERSE 1:
The world going by my window
Doesn't mean nothing to me
Why do I feel the way I do
Why am I still so lost in you, I wonder

VERSE 2:
Watching you sleep each morning
Brushing the hair from your eyes
Why do we give ourselves away
Till only emptiness remains

REFRAIN:
Was there a reason you came and changed my life
Cause it won't change back
I'm trying to forget
But I can't act as if we never met

VERSE 3:
The world going by my window
Doesn't mean nothing to me
Why do I feel the way I do
Darling, I'm still so lost in you

REPEAT REFRAIN

I was listening to an early Chante Moore single titled As If We Never Met while trying to minimize work distractions.   Chante's voice was so pure and earnest as she processes losing a love and wanting to forget him and the pain his leaving her has caused but realizing he made an impact of her life and isn't someone she can just forget.  The song stirred emotions in me as I listened repeatedly to it.   It made me think of past loves that still stay on the mind long after they're gone.   It's such a beautiful song by a beautiful lady who has been sharing her talent since 1992.    It's not the first time I've mentioned Chante in my blogs.   I did a review of her 2008 album Love This Woman and expressed my continued love of Chante in a brief snippet.

I still remember walking over to a local record store not far from the college I attended classes in and buying her CD.   It took me awhile to figure out who Chante was when they played her songs on the radio.   I always seemed to miss the mention of her name.  This was before the internet took off so it wasn't like I could just do a Google search.   I still remember my excitement when I finally heard her name.  I couldn't get to a record store fast enough.

I'm excited about the upcoming concert on May 23rd at Rialto Square Theatre to see Miss Chante perform.   It'll be my first time seeing her perform in concert since Tasha and I went to a Luther Vandross concert in the mid-90's at Fisher Theatre in Detroit when Chante was his opening act.  I went for Chante, Tasha went for Luther.   This time of course, Chante is the headliner.   I've been listening to Chante's songs in preparation for the show.

I'm trying to decide whether Dom and I should stay overnight in Illinois.    We had talked about going the next morning to the Japanese market Mitsuwa in another part of town.   Dom changed his mind though wanting us to get home.   However we were also talking about going to Ikea which we haven't been to in almost a decade.   I've been wanting to go there to get a dresser and small computer desk for the spare bedroom/future home office.

But first I have to get through my oral surgery to remove my remaining wisdom teeth coming up on Cinco De Mayo.   I sent the remaining payment for the procedure two weeks back.   I'm still annoyed about paying for that upfront but am hopeful I'll get reimbursed from the insurance company within a couple weeks.   I took a week off from work to recover from the procedure.   I'm hoping everything goes well and I'll be recovered by the time the concert date arrives.   I've been drinking pineapple juice which is supposed to help with pain.   Dom will be my designated driver to the procedure.  I need to give him the address to the location.   Maybe we can do a practice run this weekend (if I can get him out of the house).    He tends to hibernate a lot these days.

Darn Mucilage

 In my quest for being healthy I'm always looking around for the latest news on items that will be beneficial for me.   My blood pressure has been the bane of my existence.   One of my first blog entries was a boring but important entry tracking my blood pressure readings.   High blood pressure has been something that's plagued me since as far back as 2005 and I'm sure much earlier.   

I remember going to the ER because of it a couple of times.   I remember feeling faint like I was going to pass out.   But somehow over the years I've dodged being prescribed blood pressure medication.    Both of my parents had been taking blood pressure medication for more than half of their lives.

I've tried so many different things for it with marginal results.  Apple cider vinegar, grape seed extract, l-citrulline, ubiquinol, miracle greens, magnesium, cucumbers, watermelons, hibiscus, green tea, garlic, and onion among other things.   But there hasn't been that magic elixir.

So I was checking out Dr. Bobby Price's latest video where he was singing the praises of okra water.   I do like okras so I was definitely intrigued by what was being said.   The heart of okra water is the mucilage which is a mucus like substance that the okra secretes.   That mucilage is said to have many health benefits.    These include improved digestion, reduced blood sugar, reducing inflammation, boosting energy, immunity, promoting weight loss, and flushing kidneys.

Hearing about all those benefits made me curious to try it.  I decided to check other videos which touted a lot of the same information.   So I decided to buy some okra this past weekend.

The benefits of blood sugar is particularly something that could benefit Dom since he has type 2 diabetes.  Dom is old school though and isn't one that looks for alternatives.   So I knew he would not be open to trying it.    Whenever I try something unorthodox, he always says "why do you hate your body so much"...LOL.

So I prepared the okra water as instructed the evening before.  By early morning the water became an icky mucus like substance similar to the videos.   I slowly drank the water and I will say I felt full after drinking it.   I'm not sure I felt any more energetic than normal.  I actually felt a little more constipated so not sure it really helped me with digestion.   I noticed my poop became light green as well (almost the color of okra itself).

I drank it for two more days and then as I was doing more research, I found a side effect of drinking okra water that stopped me in my tracks.    One of the side effects is that it could cause kidney stones.  This is because the mucilage is high in oxalates.   Folks that have had kidney stones (like me) are highly at risk for developing them.

I guess everything has it pros and cons.   But I don't want to do anything that could cause kidney stones.   Those are no fun to deal with.   Consequently yesterday evening I was feeling the urge to pee a lot with hardly anything coming out.   That of course got me freaked out that I may have blockage already.    I guess I need to drink some more barley water...LOL.

So it's back to the drawing board.   The one positive is that my going to the office 3 days a week gets me a little more exercise.   My numbers still aren't where I want them to be though.   The quest continues.

Feeling Taxed

 Tax time has creeped in again.  With the way the Orange administration has been wrecking havoc on the Federal government, it's a wonder we still have a tax system.    Dom decided to do his taxes in early February in case Orange did something to mess up refunds.    He also already had that money spent on his favorite hobby.   I managed to finish my taxes in early March.   My refunds are not nearly as high as they used to be when I lived in Illinois.   Then again my property taxes are not as high as they were when I lived in Illinois.   Unfortunately though property taxes in Indiana have been steadily creeping up since I moved here.  I need to think about opening a separate saving account to deposit enough money to pay the property taxes once I finish paying off the mortgage.

So far I'm still on track to have the mortgage paid off by June or July of 2026.   I'm definitely excited about that one.   I'm peeved because the oral surgeon that I'm having my wisdom teeth removed requires me to pay the entire balance of the surgery which will run me $2100.   Apparently I will get it back from the insurance in two weeks (they claim).   It's such a racket that the surgeon gets their money and I'm the one that has to deal with the insurance.  Luckily I am also getting a bonus from work this week that should cover the $2100 I have to pay up front.  I just need to notify my credit card of the upcoming charge so they don't put a freeze on my card.

My original plan was to use the bonus as an extra payment for the mortgage but I'll need to wait till I get the money back from the insurance company to put it towards the mortgage.   I should have some more of the bonus available, it may come out to around $4000 (apparently the company had a great year).   So I can still put the remaining amount towards it.

My surgery is scheduled for Cinco De Mayo.   As I mentioned the oral surgeon is a lady and her staff are all women as well.   There's nothing wrong with that of course.    But they couldn't hire a guy or two...LOL.

I'm nervous about the procedure but I know it needs to be done.  I probably should've taken the other two out when I did the first two.   I just never got around to it.   Of course the oral surgeon was already trying to sell other products to me.   I was thinking I'll be damned if I get anything else since I have to pay for that upfront too.   I'm annoyed that my dentist chose this oral surgeon but she seems to know her stuff so I'll have to put faith that it'll all work out.

I pray that everything goes well with the surgery.   Dom will be taking the day off school to take me to the surgery.   I'll be knocked out during the procedure (I don't remember if I was knocked out when I had my first wisdom teeth removed).   But I already put in my time off for work and decided just to be safe to take the whole week.   They mention limiting your physical activity that first week.

In other news a member of my current Church family received some bad news today healthwise.   He was on a journey to ditching his CPAP machine for good and was in the final stretch of confirming that he could use Inspire as a mask-free solution.   He had to lose more than 20 pounds to be eligible and along the way had to deal with health issues.   He lost the weight and was in the doctor's office taking a test to see if he would be able to tolerate the device.    While they did a CT scan on his throat, they found a 6mm mass on one of his lungs.   He will have another CT scan on Thursday on his lungs.  I feel so bad for him and pray that he doesn't get dire news.

Mitch has also been on my mind lately.   He's reached a new milestone.   He officially has less than 3 years left in his prison term.   I've been meaning to write to him but have been so busy with life.  I'm hoping that he's hanging in there.   He's made a few strides in preparation for life outside of prison.   By the time he gets out, he'll be 65 years old.    He was able to find a new home that his children will be living in while he does his remaining time.   He pretty much will be at retirement age but he may look to do some part-time work.

Whenever I complain about my lot in life, I always find myself reminding myself that at least I do have freedom.   I pray that Orange and his cronies don't take that away from us.   It truly is a scary world out there.  I shudder to think where this country will be not just in four years but even another month from now.

There's No Place Like Home

Stephanie Mills - Home

Verse 1

When I think of home, I think of a place
Where's there's love overflowing
I wish I was home, I wish I was back there
With the things I've been knowing
Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning
Suddenly the raindrops that fall, they have a meaning
Sprinkling the scene
Makes it all clean

Verse 2
(When I think of home)
Maybe there's a chance for me to go back
Now that I have some direction
(Maybe there's a chance I'll get home)
It sure would be nice to be back at home
Where there's love and affection
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time, ooh, in my life to grow up
Time be my friend
And let me start again

Verse 3

Suddenly my world's gone and changed its fate
But I still know where I'm going
I have had my mind spun around in space
And watched it growing
And oh, if you're listening, God, please don't make it hard
To know if we should believe the things that we see
Tell us should we try and stay or should we run away?
(Should we run away?)
Or will it be better just to let things, let them be, oh
Living here in this brand new world might be a fantasy
But it's taught me to love, oh yeah
So it's real, it's so real, it's real to me
And I've learned that we must look inside our hearts to find
A world full of love like yours, like mine

Outro
Like home
Like, like home
(When I think of home)
My friends smiling down on me
Giving me their energy, oh
(When I think of home)
I think of a peaceful world and joy all around me, yeah
(When I think of home)
And love that we share can never, never, ever be taken away from me, yeah, yeah, yeah
(When I think of home)
I just sit down and think
And gets on down in my bone, bone, yeah
(When I think of home)
I can hear my friends telling me
"Stephanie, please sing my song"
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna tell you what it's all about, yeah
(When I think of home)
Yeah, yeah, yeah

For better or worse I think of the place in Detroit where I grew up as home.   The story of my childhood home began when my Dad immigrated to the United States in 1957.  He lived with the man I knew primarily as "Uncle" in that home.   Home was a duplex with two three-bedroom units downstairs and two three-bedroom units upstairs.   I believe our home was built in the 1870s.

Uncle at the time owned the house and was a landlord renting each of the bedrooms in the house to different patrons.   My Dad would end up renting the room that at first would later be my first bedroom as a small child and later Trina's bedroom when Tasha wanted independence from sharing a room.

My Dad would say how he got his first job and would save money so that he could paint his bedroom.   He spoke with pride how he got his own Encyclopedia set.   Papa said Uncle had an Encyclopedia set but became upset if my Dad held on to a specific volume too long.    That was when he decided to get his own set that he stored in his room.    All of my Dad's possessions were in that room.  

I'm a little hazy on the history but at some point my Dad moved out of our home and was living in another home with my "Grandma" in a place that was nicknamed Mt. Elliot.  There may have been other people living there as well.   That part was not clear.    I'm guessing it may have been around the time he got his job working at a Sherwin Williams plant.   That job would be a blessing and a curse for Papa. 

My Dad with his new wife, my Mom, would come back in 1976 to live in our childhood home once again.   Uncle by then was no longer a landlord and was in his last years of living.    The story was that Papa purchased the duplex for $6000 from Uncle.   With the way home prices are today, it's crazy to think homes used to be that cheap.

One of the few early memories I had as a small child was running with Tasha around the side of the house.   I believe both of us may have been excited by the extra space and we did what kids do.   My grandma (who was really my Dad's first cousin) would end up living in one of the upstairs units with her husband who I don't have any memories of since he died when I was 6.

Growing up in our childhood home had it's good and bad times like any home.   Since it was just the six of us living in the home (Trina would come along two years later in 1978), we all had free range to venture anywhere in the house.

As I mentioned my early years I had the bedroom that Papa used to stay in.   I later ended up moving to another bedroom in the back unit of the duplex.    I would wind up being by myself in that back area though we all used that space to live in as well and it was the path we took to go into the backyard and then the garage.

We had questionable neighbors that lived around us.   Our next door neighbor to our left also had a similar style duplex that was owned by a man I knew as Mr. Wick (changed the last name slightly for privacy purposes...LOL).   Mr. Wick also rented out parts of his home as well and some of those patrons were questionable.   There was a harmless guy named Hobo who spent his days sitting in the front porch just randomly laughing to himself and drinking alcohol.   He clearly had mental issues.   He was harmless though compared to Mr Wick's nephew Streek.

Streek was evil incarnate.   He along with his cronies broke into our home sometime in 1981 when we were at church one Sunday.   We returned home to find the front door wide open and chaos everywhere inside.   I remember feeling violated after the fact and I know it upset the rest of the family.   After that happened Papa hired a company to install bars on all the lower level windows.   It was the beginning of the end for the neighborhood as a whole.

Streek wound up going to jail after numerous other break-ins and spent close to a decade in prison (though I don't know the exact timeframe).   He was released from prison in the early 1990s sometime.   His next foray was selling drugs on the block.   We would be witness to random shootings that would happen between rival gangs.

It seemed the police was in on the drug drama as nothing would be done to get rid of the bad element.  Sometime in 1997 there was a shootout on the block with Streek ending up being shot to death right in front of our home.

I had moved out in August 1995 and had just moved to Chicago from living in Washington D.C. for a  new job.   I remember Mama calling me to give the news and how it traumatized them.   I felt so bad for them.

A new gang took over the drug trade after Streek was killed and the neighborhood continued its decline.   They even went so far as to loiter in front of our house and hiding drugs under our welcome mat.   Many of the neighbors moved out and my parents ended up being one of the last remaining residents until another shooting this time specifically targeted at our house happened in 2013.   

For years my sisters and I implored Mama and Papa to move and find somewhere safer to live.   My Dad decided to find a place on his own.   It was a two bedroom apartment in a senior citizen apartment.

Despite the issues with the neighborhood, it did serve as our home and we had many memories there.  For example, I smile as I recall how I used Papa's encyclopedia to do various book reports (even though the data was outdated seeing that the set was from 1960...*LOL*).    Various extended family members visited us over the years as well.    We had many family dinners in the kitchen and dining room.    We celebrated birthdays, holidays, and other life celebrations as well.

Since my parents moved away, the home became abandoned and was destroyed by both human and nature.   Papa still paid the taxes on it for a few years but decided he didn't want to deal with that anymore and gave the home to Tasha.   Tasha was not able to pay the taxes on it and the home eventually was taken back by the city.   Before that happened she tried putting it on the market but there were no takers.

The thing about home ownership that trips me is that even if you pay off the house (which Papa did when he bought it in 1976 for $6000), you truly do not own it free and clear.   You can still lose the home if you don't pay property taxes on it.   It's even worse when you live in a condo with association fees (like I did for 16 years).   If you continue to pay the mortgage and do not pay the association, the association has the right to take the home away from you.    That seems so unfair.

So the house was on my mind and I decided to check out Zillow to see what they have listed for it.  I was on the train on my way to work last week when I did this.   I was surprised to see that the home was no longer standing and now it's a vacant lot.   Ironically Mr. Wick's long abandoned duplex is still standing.   The lot currently is on sale for $25,000.

It feels surreal seeing that the home I once grew up in through thick and thin is no longer standing.   I don't recall Tasha or Trina mentioning that it was torn down.    Then again they may not know either.   But it truly is an end of an era.   Next time I'm in Detroit, I may do a quick drive-by to check the area (if it's safe).

The Case For AI

So one of the things my job has been pushing for the last year or so is for our team to pick up on their AI skills.   We've been required to take a lot of training so we could keep abreast for any issues customers may be experiencing.   I saw the writing on the proverbial wall during my company's quarterly all-hands meeting in April 2023 when the predominant topic was all about embracing Artificial Intelligence in our day-to-day lives.   I studied to obtain Salesforce's AI Associate certification and was able to achieve it in September 2023.

When I got that cert, I was ahead of the game with our team being one of the first to obtain it.  Almost a year later, they required everyone of the team to have the AI Associate cert.   In addition they wanted us to get the next level cert of AI Specialist which is having a name change to be Agentforce Specialist in conjunction to Salesforce's rebranding of Einstein GPT.    They required both AI Associate and AI Specialist by the end of 2024.   I studied to obtain the AI Specialist and was able to achieve it in November 2024.

Now there's a push to have our team get the current highest level AI Salesforce cert of Data Cloud Consultant.   I'm scheduled to take my first attempt at this cert on 03/22.   To top it off I'm taking some additional training on learning about Email Deliverability troubleshooting and I still have to handle existing cases and probably still assist in other engineer issues.

It does seem like there's a lot left for me to learn as I continue through what I call my 2nd and final act in my working career.   I wish I could just lay low and collect my check.    But if I want to keep my job, I need to stay open to learning more and more.   Even that of course is no guarantee that I won't be laid off from my current role down the line.

It is interesting reading up on the history of AI which has its earliest mention in the 1940's.   It started with the creation of the first digital computer which of course was a humongous machine.   There was a workshop at Dartmouth College in 1956 where the future leaders in the research of AI were in attendance.   But it seemed the next couple decades proved to be a challenge in any advancements from the U.S.

The Japanese took the lead in AI advancement in the 70's which reinvigorated the U.S.   Investment in AI hit the billion dollar mark by the 80's.   Investment continued to boom and one of the first real cumulations of it came in the form of ChatGPT in 2020.

I've actually used ChatGPT to research various topics and it's interesting the responses that I receive.  Of course ChatGPT is only as good as the information that gets fed into it.   Who better to ask how ChatGPT gets its information then to ask ChatGPT itself?

I asked ChatGPT the following question:  "How does ChatGPT get the information to be able to answer any questions we may have?"

It's answer: "ChatGPT gets its information through a process called pretraining, where it learns from a vast amount of text data, including books, articles, websites, and other publicly available written material. During this process, it learns patterns in language, concepts, facts, and general knowledge.

However, it doesn’t have real-time access to the internet or any proprietary databases after training. So, while it can answer a wide range of questions based on the knowledge it learned up until its training cutoff (which in this case is September 2021), it doesn't "know" things that have happened after that time, unless provided with that new information during the conversation.

In short, ChatGPT’s answers come from the knowledge it was trained on, which covers a huge range of topics, but it's not always up-to-date with current events unless it's connected to specific tools (like a web search) or if you give it the latest info. Does that answer your question?"

It's crazy how AI has taken over the fiber of our world.   There is a fear that AI will be the cause of a lot of tech workers losing their jobs.   I will admit I do have that concern sometimes.   But I am open to learning what I can about it.   I do hope it's enough to keep me employed while I continue to work towards my goal of financial independence.     We shall see.

 

From Rags To Riches To Rags

 Last month I posted about one of my favorite girl groups of the 90's En Vogue.   The world learned that former member Maxine Jones was returning to the group effectively having 3 of the 4 original members back together again.  A lot of folks myself included wondered if the 4th member Dawn Robinson would also come back.   But I figured that bridge had been burned long ago.   For now it still is.

There were no comments from Dawn regarding Max's return to En Vogue.   But last week Dawn was back in the news herself.   She announced that she's been homeless and living in a car for more than three years.

She mentioned that she made the choice herself to do car living after researching it online.  Prior to living in her car, she was living with her mother.   She said that they had a disagreement and wound up moving out.   When watching her video, it was interesting to hear she had a dog named Max who passed away.   Max of course was her bandmate in En Vogue.   So that was interesting she used that name for her dog.

It was sad hearing how someone who was once part of the most iconic girl group of the 90's now finds herself living in the car.  Dawn definitely has had drama over the years with the two groups she was a part of.  She was my favorite member of En Vogue (still is) so it crushed me when she departed just when the group was blowing up.   I do agree in principal that if they truly weren't getting paid what they deserved, all four of the members should've been fighting more.   But that ship has literally sailed and prior to Max's announcement, the remaining members Cindy and Terry have been keeping the En Vogue name afloat though not with the success they had in the 90's.

A small part of me couldn't help but wonder on the timing of Dawn's revelation.  Could she have announced this to put rain on her former group members and stop any momentum from the reunion news?   The natural inclination is for the media to ask the remaining ladies how they feel to hear Dawn's news and whether they should reach out to try and help her.   It'll be interesting to see if there are any new stories of the other member's reaction.

There has been quite a reaction to the news as well from the celebrity circles.   Her ex-husband Dre Allen was said to have offered Dawn a job.   No word yet whether she accepted or not though I'm guessing she won't.   She did say she was living in her car by choice.  It sounded like she had someone who was giving her money for a hotel to stay at and they were teasing her about an apartment but she got tired of being strung along which led her down her current path.   Jermaine Dupri expressed skepticism about Dawn's story stating she had an assistant working with her.   Interestingly enough Dawn did mention she was documenting the experience and I imagine she would be open to selling her story to the highest bidder so it can be made into a documentary or reality TV series.   So Dupri's skepticism could hold merit.   I read that Kandi Burruss of Xscape fame was also asked about the situation but she quickly changed the subject.   I can't say I blame her as she has enough dealing with her own group's issues.

Whether the circumstances it is sad to hear the news.   It will be interesting to see what comes next for her.  She has the world's attention for now.   But social media is a fickle character so she better take advantage while she can.   Looking at the comments from her video, she does seem to have a lot of people that want to help her.  Whatever happens I hope she can turn herself around.

The Third

 Dom completed part one of his carpal tunnel surgery last Wednesday on his left hand.   The hospital needed to reach out to him prior to confirm on his medications and previous health conditions.    Since he works at school (when he goes), he's not able to answer his phone.   So I had to make time to take the calls in the midst of my work fun.

I felt horrible because I wasn't able to remember every detail of the different surgeries he had and why.  I mistakenly said he had a gall bladder removed when it was actually his appendix.   He also had the turp for his enlarged prostate which led to him post-surgery having blood clots that affected his breathing.   I needed to remember all this and felt frustrated when it didn't come to me right away.   I had remembered the clotting but forgot that happened because of the enlarged prostate surgery.

One of the things I loved about my Mom was her uncanny ability to remember every medication and surgery that my Dad had over the years.   She did this even through dealing with her own health issues with Parkinson's.   I was not measuring up at all.   I love Dom because he was so forgiving of me.

Dom and I started discussing the possibility of having a "younger guy" be part of our family in anticipation of myself eventually having more health issues.   Dom worries he wouldn't be able to take care of me like I have for him.  Of course it would have to be the right person who is there for the correct reasons.   I worry about someone trying to take advantage of the situation.   It would be nice if they exclusively were with us.  If sex is on the table I wonder if Dom would watch us or even participate.    As I've mentioned before, Dom and I haven't had sex in almost eight years.

Where would we find this person?   Are there websites that cater to this kind of arrangement?   I already have a regular thing with Anthony.   But Anthony is around Dom's age and he has his own health issues here and there so he wouldn't be ideal.  Midas falls in the same scenario as Anthony.   He's two years younger than Dom.

Doug would be ideal.  He's a year or two younger than me.  But unfortunately he's shown that he is not dependable at all.    It's going on four years since we last met up.   The times I've tried to meet up with him he claims to be so busy.    Dom and I had some rearranging we wanted to do in the house.  I tried to see if Doug could come over and help with that and by proxy introduce him to Dom.   But he did not commit to a time to do this so my trust in him is broken.    Another strike is that he has a dog and we're not dog people.   

Maxwell, the younger black guy that I met a couple years ago would be a potential.   But he moved to Indianapolis for a job.   So he's out.   But I haven't chatted with him in awhile.   I should message him to see how he's doing.

But is it fair to get a third just for the potential of having someone to be a caretaker?   Is it fair on that person?   Dom and I do not have family nearby as well so we're a bit isolated.    It's a sad situation to think about.   Plus if we get a third person and they live with us, our house needs to be decluttered in a big way so the third would have room for his stuff.  I have some things to get rid of but Dom has the majority of the crap in the house.   The sad thing is the house is pretty spacious with 4 bedrooms and 1 1/2 baths with a semi-finished basement.   But every inch of the house has junk in it.    How is that possible?

I just realized the irony of us talking about a potential third when I mentioned recently about a situation where I was considering being a potential third to another couple.  It does seem to be a more common discussion among gay couples these days.

Roni Out

 Just last week I posted about my lazy co-worker Roni and his latest antics at work.   He has caused lots of havoc in the team with how he handled cases and his lackadaisical way of working.   It's been quite the morale buster seeing how he got away with a lot of things.   But I know my manager has been documenting everything that he's done whether it's been his lack of responses on cases or his lack of participation in some of our team building activities.   I noticed too that his name was not on any of the new trainings that were being offered to the team.

I ended up with one of Roni's nightmarish cases because he was supposedly studying for a Data Cloud certification and couldn't concentrate on that and his existing cases.   I was complaining about it to one of my colleagues and imagine my shock when my colleague mentioned that Roni's account was deactivated.   I was on the train on my way home when we were communicating by phone so I didn't see the deactivation right away.   I didn't believe it at first since this same colleague who I'll call Alvin and I joked that it would be another five years before he was let go.

We were disgusted because several good employees were let go last month and we couldn't believe that Roni was still there.   But maybe that may have been the catalyst that set things in motion for his firing.   I knew my manager was documenting everything when she asked me to make a public comment on our work channel to mention that Roni did not reach out to me to meet after I tried to schedule a meeting with him.   With that said I don't wish ill-will on Roni.   I just wanted him to do his fair share of work.   As I said before, he definitely bought all of this on himself.   I do hope he learns a lesson from all this and if he's given the opportunity again, he makes more of an effort in his next role.

As for the nightmarish case, I unfortunately have my hands cut out for me.   The documentation left on the case has been lacking.   The customer on the case has been complaining almost non-stop about the lack of support received.   Roni created an investigation but unfortunately didn't leave much information and sent it to the wrong team.  That team wound up rejecting the investigation and I'm left starting at square one.   To top it off Roni lied to the customer and said the investigation is being reviewed still.    I will probably have to call the customer to introduce myself and get clarity on some examples I can share.  I no doubt will have to hear the customer complain.   But this too will pass.   The silver lining is that my manager said if the customer leaves a bad review, that she would be able to absorb the rating.   I got this.

Losing My Wisdom

 With each passing day I, like everyone else, is getting older.   More often than not I find myself running to another room and then forgetting what I was going into that room for.   It scares me because the thought of not remembering who or where I am is something that I do not want to experience.   My parents have experienced it and I've seen older folks in our Church experiencing short-term memory loss.   Dom too has his share of senior moments.

But I'll soon be losing another part of my wisdom.   I will be pulling out my remaining two wisdom teeth on the right side of my mouth, teeth 1 and 32 for dental folks.   16 and 17 were pulled sometime in the early 2000's.   I found out during my recent 6-month cleaning that my cavity on my wisdom tooth has gotten larger.  I pretty much accepted at that point it was time to get them removed.   The top wisdom tooth is fine but it wouldn't make sense to keep it since it would have nothing to chew against.   

I already removed tooth 3 back in 2020 (just a month or so before the pandemic).   The dentist was suggesting a bridge gets placed in the open spots between 1 and 3.   It seems like a not so bad idea but Dom was thinking I really wouldn't need it and I would be able to chew just fine.   I'm on the fence about it.

The dental place I go to is ran by a husband/wife team.   I saw the wife this time.   She is nice.   She gave me the name of an oral surgeon that I would have to call to schedule an appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled.    She hesitated giving me the name wondering if I would have an issue seeing a woman surgeon.   I told her that I wouldn't have a problem with that.

She then went into a rant about how she had prospective patients that left the dental office when they saw that she was the dentist.   She has a first name that could either be male or female.   So they may have thought she was a he.   This was mostly during the 90's she said (when she was starting her career).   I was going to raise her up one and say there are folks that wouldn't want a black doctor or dentist treating them.

Things are definitely better today though Orange and his cronies seem to be wanting to take away what was gained.   You know, make America great again by taking away protection and rights from minorities.

I need to figure out best time to remove my teeth.  Dom has two outpatient surgeries scheduled this month for his carpal tunnel which is affecting both of his hands.  I probably do not want to do it around that time since he'll need me at 100% during his recovery.    I would need at least one week of recovery after the procedure.

I'm hoping I may be able to push it off till early June when Dom is out of school.   But I have to be careful not to develop any kind of infection before then.   I may need to go into the office 4-5 days a week for a month so I have enough days to cover not being in the office.  Insane. 

Caught In The Track

 I talked about my co-worker Roni who drives me crazy with his lazy ways.   The rumor is he has been on several PIPs and somehow has managed to come out of them.    I suspected that my manager has been documenting all his behavior in hopes of having enough evidence to terminate him.   I got confirmation of this indirectly.    Roni reached out to ask for assistance on my team's channel on a case after it got escalated by the customer.   The case in particular is a bit messy and even I would need help on it.    

I messaged Roni and invited him to a meeting to discuss the case further on Friday.   My plan was to have him drive most of the investigation with me guiding along in the background.   My hope was that he would learn more on how to handle these types of cases.   But he never responded to my meeting invite.   He also purposely stays offline so you never know if he's there or not.

So his case got escalated again on Monday.  My manager reached out to the channel leader and myself to help Roni out.    The funny thing is our team is encouraged to assist each other on the channel but a lot of times it winds up falling on my channel leader or myself (as backup) to assist on the majority of the cases.   There are times when the channel leader asks if anyone else in the channel can assist.   He initially did so on Roni's issue.    I wound up looking at it because I knew nobody else would.   Hours later Roni's direct messaging me asking for help.  I wanted to scream.   But I did give some initial feedback and asked for Roni to follow-up with the customer.   I checked on the case that Friday and saw that the customer was getting more agitated.   That's when I reached out of Roni for the meeting.

So after my manager posted the message on our channel, I direct messaged my manager privately saying that I did try to meet with him Friday but he didn't respond.   So then my manager told me to mention that directly on the channel.   It then hit me that she wanted to have someone mention Roni's inaction so that she would have more evidence to share on Roni's incompetence.   I mean why else would she want me to mention it in the channel if not to have a paper trail.

Roni does get on my nerve but I still felt guilty calling him out on the channel.   But I went ahead and mentioned it.   I honestly wanted to cover my own tail and not be accused of not wanting to assist which was why I messaged my manager initially.  Roni of course in his Roni way did not react to my message.   But everything that's happening to him, he's definitely bought it on himself.   Last week my manager reached out to me to give an initial response to the customer on one of Roni's cases because it was in danger of not meeting the SLA.  She tried to reach Roni but he was not responding.   That is yet another of several examples that I'm sure she's documented.

Now it may be a long while still before he winds up getting terminated.   Another colleague joked that it would probably take five more years before anything happened.   I mean he started at the same time I did which means he's been employed for over 3 years now and nothing has happened yet even though folks have known about his ways since 2023.   But yeah we're all being tracked for sure.   Thankfully so far though I'm on the right track.

Commissioned Out

 Dom has been missing a lot of work these days.    He's already been counting the days till his retirement.  As a high school math teacher, he's been complaining on the daily about misbehaving students who do not understand even the basic math equations.   He's been dealing with a lot of health issues as well which has caused him to missed days.   For the third or fourth school year in a row, he has maxed out on his allotted sick day time off so each time he misses a day now, he doesn't get paid for that day.   He's also started ordering more doll crap based on various shows like Wednesday (every company that makes a likeness of the Wednesday Adam doll, he has to order) and of course Wicked.   He's been pissing me off there because he's had me stay home on certain days because he doesn't want his packages staying out in the cold too long.   Of course I have to juggle my home days with my return to office mandate that dictates I have to be in the office 3 days a week.   It's so stupid since I can do my job at home but I need the paycheck especially since I'm responsible for the majority of the household bills and for both of our health insurance costs.   So I gotta play the game till they decide to lay me off or a better opportunity comes along.

So I'm home today for work because of more packages (I went to the office Monday & Wednesday so far and will go in tomorrow to make my 3 days).   However he wound up staying home too because he's been experiencing pain in his left shoulder and his hands continue to ache from carpal tunnel.   I would've went in to the office today but I woke up a little later and didn't feel like rushing to get out of the house.  I had already set up my makeshift office as well.

I hate that he's back to spending money unnecessarily (in my opinion),especially since he's not working full-time.   He keeps talking about slowing his spending and decluttering his collection.   I continue to feel frustrated seeing how cluttered our whole house is.    Every room is full of junk.   I just imagine if he didn't spend the little money he has on this stuff, we could've had the mortgage paid off by now.   Even if he gave $200 a month to put into the mortgage, that would quickly add up over time.   But I'm managing to pay the necessary bills each month and continue to pay off my credit card bills.   I was glad to keep my total credit card payments to just under $2000 this pay period.   $3000 is the goal I usually have (this includes gas, insurance, food, transportation toll fees, and other miscellaneous items) so I exceeded my goal.   Last pay period I was slightly over $3000 so that varies.  

Speaking of credit cards, he still doesn't know yet that I canceled his one card.   I will probably add him back again.   I was just extremely frustrated at that time how he used the card for a non-emergency expense and didn't bother to tell me.  

Dom was told he would need to have carpal tunnel surgery on both his hands to alleviate the pain he's experiencing.   He was hoping to push that off till June but he's thinking he may need it sooner.   He's been wearing hand braces at night to try and help ease the pain.    But it doesn't always help and he also is noticing weakness in his shoulder muscles. 

He also mentioned Tuesday that he had a kidney stone that caused him to not be able to pee initially.  He was going to head to the E.R. but luckily he was able to push the stone out.   I too may have had a small stone a few weeks back as I was experiencing weak urine flow.   But that has since passed.  The joy of being older, right?   We're continuing to push through this thing called life.   I just needed to vent again.

Max's Back!!!

 I was in the office today and had a free moment to listen to Youtube videos.   To my surprise I saw the following video pop up on my screen.

I was pleasantly surprised to see En Vogue announce the return of Maxine Jones.   I've been lamenting about the ladies breaking up for years.   It had been awhile since I've spoken on the group.   Dom and I went to see Cindy/Terri/Rhona when they performed at the now defunct Star Plaza.   I also saw the current reincarnation of Cindy/Max/Terry/Rhona in 2008 at a park in Country Club Hills, IL.   This was just before Dawn briefly returned and Rhona graciously stepped aside till Dawn left again. 

En Vogue has teased in the past about getting back together but things always fell apart.   I'm hoping this isn't another false promise that falls by the wayside.   The ladies are all in their 60's (well Rhona's is pushing towards 50 - will be 49 in May) and it is about time they squash whatever beef they had.   Seeing Max back naturally has fans wondering if Dawn will follow suit and return.  Sadly I don't think Dawn will be coming back.   But I do feel like Max will add back some of the soul that's been missing from the group.

I do sincerely hope they release a new album with the four of them.   How nice would it be to hear a new song or two with a four-part harmony again.   We shall see what becomes of this latest announcement.   It's no doubt garnered some excitement among us diehard fans.   Come on ladies, get it together!   You all still look great but time waits for noone.   In fact ya'll wrote a song about it, want to hear it now, here it goes.

  

Mysterious Neighbor

 Since Dom and I lived in our home back in 2016, there was a small bungalow with a detached garage across from us that was mostly abandoned.   There was an older gentleman that would stop by periodically to do stuff in the garage.   I briefly chatted with him a few times over the years and he seemed nice.   Dom mentioned that the guy told him that he was underwater on the place and for whatever reason couldn't sell it.   For the most part though, the house had no activity.   

That started changing about two years back.   A bunch of random folks would stop by either inspecting the house or the garage and then leaving.   We suspected that something must've happened to the older gentleman.   But then he would appear as well occasionally.   This random activity continued on for a bit.  Then there started to be a crew that would come by daily to make repairs on the roof and other parts of the house.   I looked at realtor.com and then discovered that the house was sold to another buyer.

The repairs started to continue and I got to see the transformation of the house firsthand since we live right across from it.   They finished up the roof, replaced the windows, refaced the outside of the house and garage, added gutters, and remodeled the garage into a separate living space.   Over the months they've unloaded so much junk that the nice older gentleman had accumulated in the garage.  Dom and I used to joke that he had "centipede" people living there that he occasionally came to feed.  My curiosity peaked over who the new owners would be.   Dom and I prayed it would be a hot gay couple.   But of course that didn't come to be.

The new owners it ended up look to be a couple (I know one is a guy but I can't tell if the second person is a guy or gal).   Maybe it is a gay couple after all...but with the winter, it's too dark to make them out completely.   And they are not very sociable.   Then again I guess I'm not either.    They live in the garage and apparently they have random people possibly from the same job living in the main house.   It's basically a smorgasbord of activity now.   This group basically leave the house together but in separate cars early in the morning and then roll back in the afternoon.   I wonder why they can't just carpool together.   It'll be interesting what develops when the weather warms up.  Since they live in the garage, I've seen them grill stuff outside.  The other day I saw they bought in a stackable washer and dryer that they placed by the downstairs entrance.   I assume they placed a bathroom in there as well.   I'd definitely love to see what they did to the place but alas since it won't be in the market anytime soon, I won't know.   Since they made the garage into a home, their cars have to reside outside of the garage which sucks when it's winter.

Anyway it's an interesting mystery so far.  I guess as long as they don't bother us we'll be okay.   One good thing to come from it is at least the house is not abandoned now and it's reduced the number of lurkers who would randomly drive by and park there or near our house.   It's the curse of living in a corner home.

More Layoff Blues

 I found out today that my company did yet another round of layoffs.   It gutted me to learn that two of my colleagues were impacted.    I saw an article last week from a random business periodical mentioning my company was letting some resources go.   

I had my weekly one-on-one with my manager scheduled for today.   She initially messaged me with the cryptic message of joining a meeting in 9 minutes.   I thought she was referring to our one-on-one initially.  But then she mentioned moving the meeting to another time because she didn't receive responses from other team members.   I then asked if our weekly team meeting was being moved to Tuesday.   She gave the affirmative but I never saw a link.

She wound up meeting with me one-on-one afterwards.   She didn't say anything right away but I could tell her mood seemed off.   I went over my list of topics unaware of the layoff at that time.  I then mentioned the article that I saw and asked if we would be impacted.   That's when I learned of the team members that were already impacted.

It just makes me sick to see how these companies just willy nilly let people go to save money to cover the higher up salaries and make stockholders (which I guess I am part of) happy.    Our Orange leader tried to mess up the stock market with his stupid tariff wars on Canada and Mexico.   Those were cancelled but not before China retaliated against tariffs on them with their own tariffs.   What a mess.

It's hard to believe a year ago I was celebrating a promotion.  That came a year after additional layoffs.  One of my colleagues affected was also someone that got promoted at the same time I was.   What both my colleagues had in common was that they were fully remote employees with long-time tenure at the company.

I'm really praying I can get my financial life in order before I get impacted.   I was hoping to make it at this place till 2033 but I may not last even through 2025 the way things are going.    My manager did say that this seemed to be the last of it.   But we truly do not know.  It's the last for now but who knows what the future holds.  Uggh.